Elderly neighbour persists in feeding the horses! WWYD?

sandi_84

sandi_84

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Sorry this is a bit epic:

There's a guy in his 80's who lives right next to our horses field and he keeps feeding them bread, cake, cabbage leaves... you name it he'll feed them it, he was even going to feed them the grass he'd cut from his garden :eek: but thankfully he mentioned it to us and we told him not to and as far as I know he actually took it on board that time!

Anyway he's been asked about 6 times now to please stop feeding them as they get plenty of grass and there is hay there for them if they need it, I've explained every time that he could make them really ill and even possibly kill them and yet he persists!

My friend who has her horse just down from ours caught him going out to our field with an armfull of bread and cakes the other day and said "I hope that's not for Loki, Pippa and Fuzzy?" and he said no and then went back into the house.

Today while I was poo picking the bottom of the field I saw him go over to them, they whickered and ran up to him (obvious sign of them expecting food as they don't do this unless they know they are getting something so it's obviously a regular thing!) and I saw him feed them something.
I called up to him and walked over and he had hidden what he had behind his back so he knows he shouldn't be doing it!
I asked him what he was feeding them and since he'd been caught in the act he said bread and showed me - it was the better part of half a loaf! :mad:

I told him again (politely but firmly... again!) that I really didn't want him to feed them any thing, explained (again!) that what he's feeding them is really bad for them and could make them seriously ill (to which he was incredulous! :rolleyes:), that they have sensitive stomachs and worst case senario he could kill them.

It's not forgetfulness (which I could forgive I suppose) because he clearly knew he wasn't supposed to be doing it or he wouldn't have hidden the bread. I'm starting to get seriously annoyed about this and I'm worried about the horses!

Help! What do I do?!
 
Could you bear..and spare the time and patience...to get him to start helping you with the horses? It seems constantly asking him not to feed them is a bit of a dead end. If you can get him involved in poo picking, giving them hay, checking them over etc he might finally understand why you are asking him not to feed them Mr Kipling's finest!
 
Was just going to suggest the same as Gala. Is he lonely and looking to the horses for companionship? Are there any little jobs he could do like mending fences? Can you lend him a feeding article that deplores feeding bread etc? I really feel for you and know that in your shoes I would probably throw the food back at him....
 
Could you give him a packet or one of those £6 tubs of horse treats and let him give them a few each day?
 
savia said:
Threaten with vet bills?
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It's started to get to the point where I have seriously considered this but he's a pensioner so I've tried to be politely firm so far, he doesn't have that much money and I seriously doubt he would pay :(

gala said:
Could you bear..and spare the time and patience...to get him to start helping you with the horses? It seems constantly asking him not to feed them is a bit of a dead end. If you can get him involved in poo picking, giving them hay, checking them over etc he might finally understand why you are asking him not to feed them Mr Kipling's finest!
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Unfortunately not, even though he has no experience of horses he is the consumate know all and a grumpy old sod to boot! I can cope with a hello and a short converstion but that's about it.
He does do the water and hay for the horses in the other field but he feeds them too :(
 
Hoopsa said:
Was just going to suggest the same as Gala. Is he lonely and looking to the horses for companionship? Are there any little jobs he could do like mending fences? Can you lend him a feeding article that deplores feeding bread etc? I really feel for you and know that in your shoes I would probably throw the food back at him....
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There's a lot of people up there every day and another lady who lives in the house just above his so he gets plenty of company, he plays with my dog when I'm there and will chat to everyone that passes. His friends visit him on a regular basis too so I don't think it's a loneliness thing :/
We recently asked him to cut our docks (as a way to make him feel usefull as my OH had offered to do it for free) and asked him how much it would cost, he told us £50 so mum bought him a bottle of whiskey to give him with the money when he finished. After he'd done he came and grumped at me that it would now cost us £100 :/ I told mum and she went to talk to him about it because she wasn't particularly happy, he could have told us before starting that it was going to be more but in the end she gave him the money and the bottle of whiskey. So if we gave him jobs to do we'd end up paying him for it and we can't afford that for things we can do ourselves.

LynH said:
Could you give him a packet or one of those £6 tubs of horse treats and let him give them a few each day?
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I don't really want to do this because my horse gets quite rude when you treat him regularly so now he only gets treats on special occasions or if he's done exceptionally well at something - like today he had jabs and teeth done and he hates it so he got a bunch of tasties for being relatively well mannered compared to usual ;)
 
The best suggestion that I can think of would be to put up an extra fence inside the current one, so that he won't be able to reach them with his unwanted "treats", but that might not be possible, and maybe he will just try and throw it to them instead.
 
I think you need to get tough with him. They're your horses and ultimately the vets bills come to you if they get ill from the food.
If he won't listen to you, try pictures of obese horses and those crippled with laminitis. If that doesn't help the message sink in then perhaps you could try double fence of electric- so they can't reach over to him.
 
This would drive me mad, do you think it might be worth giving the SSPCA a call for some advice? They've always been really helpful with me over the years, they might even pay him a visit to give him a stern talking to, maybe he would be more willing to listen to an 'official' rather than you? No offence lol but you know what I mean! :)
 
I had the same problem. I had a sign made saying "Please do NOT feed the horses" and nailed it onto the fence where the feeder stood to feed them. She soon stopped.
 
FinnishLapphund said:
The best suggestion that I can think of would be to put up an extra fence inside the current one, so that he won't be able to reach them with his unwanted "treats", but that might not be possible, and maybe he will just try and throw it to them instead.
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He would just chuck them over :(

Roody2 said:
I think you need to get tough with him. They're your horses and ultimately the vets bills come to you if they get ill from the food.
If he won't listen to you, try pictures of obese horses and those crippled with laminitis. If that doesn't help the message sink in then perhaps you could try double fence of electric- so they can't reach over to him.
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Yes, I am going to have to get more forcefull but the last time I did that it was to do with locking the gate after him (when he was cutting the docks) I had to ask him 5 times in one day because he kept leaving it unlocked with just the string over the post and the knot had come undone a couple of times for me, my horse would just stand outside but Pippa and Fuzzy would be off like shots! So it was pretty important but he wouldn't listen and I got a bit more forcefull - still polite but you could tell I was grumpy! - and I think that's why he was grumpy with me the next day and why he charged us an extra £50 for the docks :/
I think I'll tell him exactly what colic surgery costs and if that still doesn't shock him into leaving the "treats" behind I'll show him pics.

heebiejeebies said:
This would drive me mad, do you think it might be worth giving the SSPCA a call for some advice? They've always been really helpful with me over the years, they might even pay him a visit to give him a stern talking to, maybe he would be more willing to listen to an 'official' rather than you? No offence lol but you know what I mean! :)
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That could be a good idea if all else works, I never thought of that! Yes I understand, I don't think it helps that I look younger than I am so I think to him I must seem like some upstart teenager who talks out of her bum - I'm 28 and my opinions on my horses are valid!

hardtimes said:
I had the same problem. I had a sign made saying "Please do NOT feed the horses" and nailed it onto the fence where the feeder stood to feed them. She soon stopped.
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It doesn't work for us, we've got one :rolleyes::(
 
I know a lady local to my mum arranged for a visit from a local community support police officer who had a general chat about horse welfare and animal cruelty. That did the trick.

As a kid we put really strong signs up saying at our pony had laminitis and while he may look well, any food given to him could cause his death. The posters got more stern until they read..."those of you feeding this pony are killing him" with a copy of the vet bills and statements which did the trick.

More recently, I know a bloke who told the person feeding his horses that the horsebhad very badly bitten the hand of a child as he was expecting food. The bloke said he would not lie if the police asked him why the horse may have bitten!!!

Not sure I'd do the first or last, but I certainly wouldn't be afraid to get tough!
 
sandi_84 said:
There's a lot of people up there every day and another lady who lives in the house just above his so he gets plenty of company, he plays with my dog when I'm there and will chat to everyone that passes. His friends visit him on a regular basis too so I don't think it's a loneliness thing :/
We recently asked him to cut our docks (as a way to make him feel usefull as my OH had offered to do it for free) and asked him how much it would cost, he told us £50 so mum bought him a bottle of whiskey to give him with the money when he finished. After he'd done he came and grumped at me that it would now cost us £100 :/ I told mum and she went to talk to him about it because she wasn't particularly happy, he could have told us before starting that it was going to be more but in the end she gave him the money and the bottle of whiskey. So if we gave him jobs to do we'd end up paying him for it and we can't afford that for things we can do ourselves.
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Oh! He sounds horrible and I'm now doubly sorry for you? I would definitely now get tough with him. Good luck.
 
I would tell him that you will give him the vets bill when your horses become ill due to him feeding them.

I once had a couple who refused to stop crossing my fields to get into the woods. I asked them, I told them that it was not a public right of way. In the end I put my stallion in the field nearest to their house. That stopped them. He would go cantering up to people, he would not harm them he was just so friendly and just wanted to play.
 
FinnishLapphund said:
The best suggestion that I can think of would be to put up an extra fence inside the current one, so that he won't be able to reach them with his unwanted "treats", but that might not be possible, and maybe he will just try and throw it to them instead.
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This. Electrify the fence - whichever bit he leans over and make sure there's another fence on the inside keeping the horses back. If he climbs over the gate, put the electric over the top of the gate too! This is what I'd try straight away as that's really not on what he's doing. Otherwise, properly sit him down and really grill it into him that you appreciate the gesture but he must realise exactly what illness risks he poses your horses. They are after all YOUR horses and not his. I'd be pretty mad TBH that he even fed my horses even once!
 
Gosh this is a difficult one. Ditto the advice given re. electric fencing, BUT if it goes on and he persists then personally I'd put something in writing to him, i.e. a formal request to stop feeding your horses OR you will notify the police/RSPCA etc., and if he persists............ then do it. Perhaps a visit from an RSPCA officer or PCSO would stop him?

TBH from reading this thread I would be concerned that an elderly man is paying this much attention to other people's horses. Are there any lone women at this yard? OP, I think you need to maybe look to your own personal safety here??? Please be careful, I'm not being alarmist, this guy might be a lovely sweet person BUT he is continuously ignoring your polite requests and continuing to do something which you have persistently asked him NOT to. Perhaps he's going a bit dotty, BUT you still have to bear in mind your horses' safety and your own here.

Someone fed my old boy a hamburger with relish on it, I found the remnants in the field one Sunday morning when I went to bring him in. Luckily I found him in time, he'd obviously eaten some of it, but he was standing in the field with his face, eyes and nose all swollen up like a football - his nostrils had swollen up so much they looks like little slits and he was struggling to breathe........ the vet was able to come within 45 minutes and said it was anaphylactic shock and if we hadn't caught it in time he'd have died. So not trying to frighten you here, BUT you can't let this situation go on unchecked.
 
MagicMelon said:
This. Electrify the fence - whichever bit he leans over and make sure there's another fence on the inside keeping the horses back. If he climbs over the gate, put the electric over the top of the gate too! This is what I'd try straight away as that's really not on what he's doing. Otherwise, properly sit him down and really grill it into him that you appreciate the gesture but he must realise exactly what illness risks he poses your horses. They are after all YOUR horses and not his. I'd be pretty mad TBH that he even fed my horses even once!
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If I electrified the fence and put fencing on the inside too he'd just chuck food over I think, if I put the inner fence even further back to prevent the horses getting to food being chucked over it would take up a fair whack of each paddock and he'd still be able to put food over at the end with the water trough which is close to the fence so I couldn't fence that off :( The gate can't be electrified because it's wooden :(
I think next time I'm up I'll have a serious chat with him :/

MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
Gosh this is a difficult one. Ditto the advice given re. electric fencing, BUT if it goes on and he persists then personally I'd put something in writing to him, i.e. a formal request to stop feeding your horses OR you will notify the police/RSPCA etc., and if he persists............ then do it. Perhaps a visit from an RSPCA officer or PCSO would stop him?

TBH from reading this thread I would be concerned that an elderly man is paying this much attention to other people's horses. Are there any lone women at this yard? OP, I think you need to maybe look to your own personal safety here??? Please be careful, I'm not being alarmist, this guy might be a lovely sweet person BUT he is continuously ignoring your polite requests and continuing to do something which you have persistently asked him NOT to. Perhaps he's going a bit dotty, BUT you still have to bear in mind your horses' safety and your own here.

Someone fed my old boy a hamburger with relish on it, I found the remnants in the field one Sunday morning when I went to bring him in. Luckily I found him in time, he'd obviously eaten some of it, but he was standing in the field with his face, eyes and nose all swollen up like a football - his nostrils had swollen up so much they looks like little slits and he was struggling to breathe........ the vet was able to come within 45 minutes and said it was anaphylactic shock and if we hadn't caught it in time he'd have died. So not trying to frighten you here, BUT you can't let this situation go on unchecked.
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It's not a yard, it's a group of fields with two houses but I highly doubt he would physically attack me or the other ladies who are in the area. He's pretty slow on his feet with his age anyway but thank you for the concern, I understand where you're coming from and I'm always carefull when I'm up there on my own :)

He's not really a lovely sweet person, he's a bit of grumpy busybody/knowall :/ But yes he really needs a proper talking to, I'm just worried that I'll get mad at him - I'd feel bad getting grumpy with someone his age and I know it's a bit stupid to feel like that since he's putting my horses at risk but I suppose it's the way I was brought up, respect your elders and be polite etc :rolleyes:

At first I did think it was just age related dottyness but after him hiding the evidence behind his back when caught I have now reached the conclusion that he hears, remembers and understands and just doesn't care or doesn't believe me that he could do them damage :/

God that must have been terrifying! Glad your boy was alright! :eek:
 
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I'm afraid I would get angry. This really really pees me off. Why can't your mum do it if you think he's not taking you seriously? Get your OH to talk to him about laminitis and the possibility of foundering (he's a farrier, isn't he?). If he won't listen to you, then get ruddy angry. I don't care what age he is, he doesn't seem to be suffering from any mental issues, from what you say, so he needs a row. Tough.
 
personally i think.you have told him enough times by the sound of it i would send police around with a threat to charge him with trespassing silly old buisy body x
 
As (on occasion) an extremely grumpy old pensioner myself, I would go for the Community Police Officer approach who might also point out that feeding a horse to the point that it causes problems is criminal damage and he could be charged!

On the other hand, I think I would try to be kind. He wants to do good and he wants the horses to like him. Give him a brush and tell him he can groom them in the field. As for poo picking, you clearly have no idea what happens to your body as you get older! If you are lucky, you might have the opportunity to find out from personal experience!

He clearly didn't like having to cut the docks, hence the price hike. Take the hint and give him something he likes to do which will benefit you both. If he is anything like me (and it seems he is), sitting quietly at home is the last thing he wants to do. (But then I have my own ponies!;)). He's probably been active all his life and is now feeling useless. Give him something to do, even if it is noting down car licence numbers because "horse stealing is rife in the area", and he could turn out to be a useful friend.

(The double fence is a good idea, too!:D).
 
Dry Rot said:
As (on occasion) an extremely grumpy old pensioner myself, I would go for the Community Police Officer approach who might also point out that feeding a horse to the point that it causes problems is criminal damage and he could be charged!

On the other hand, I think I would try to be kind. He wants to do good and he wants the horses to like him. Give him a brush and tell him he can groom them in the field. As for poo picking, you clearly have no idea what happens to your body as you get older! If you are lucky, you might have the opportunity to find out from personal experience!

He clearly didn't like having to cut the docks, hence the price hike. Take the hint and give him something he likes to do which will benefit you both. If he is anything like me (and it seems he is), sitting quietly at home is the last thing he wants to do. (But then I have my own ponies!;)). He's probably been active all his life and is now feeling useless. Give him something to do, even if it is noting down car licence numbers because "horse stealing is rife in the area", and he could turn out to be a useful friend.

(The double fence is a good idea, too!:D).
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I was reading through the thread, trying to think of how to put what I wanted to say but fortunately DryRot has said it better than I could :)
I don't think he wants to be useful, I don't think he wants to do chores, I think he just wants to have a bit of nice social contact with some friendly horses. Show him how to scratch them so their lips curl, and suggest he does that instead of feeding.
 
meandmyself said:
Could you get your vet to have a chat with him? It might sink in better if it comes from someone 'official'.
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I actually suggested this to mum a minute ago, she's having to re-start Pippa's flu/tet jabs (she forgot the dates and missed it by 2 months oops! :/) so we had vet out today, will be having her out again in 3 weeks so this could be a good way to go as it isn't official in the SSPCA way but is still official if you know what I mean :)

cinnamontoast said:
I'm afraid I would get angry. This really really pees me off. Why can't your mum do it if you think he's not taking you seriously? Get your OH to talk to him about laminitis and the possibility of foundering (he's a farrier, isn't he?). If he won't listen to you, then get ruddy angry. I don't care what age he is, he doesn't seem to be suffering from any mental issues, from what you say, so he needs a row. Tough.
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Good memory CT! OH is indeed a farrier :D That's a good idea too, my OH is quite soft spoken though but I'll speak to him about it this weekend and see if he fancies having a friendly chat :)
Ha ha! "Tough" made me giggle :D Yes I know I should get more forceful about it, I'm just not a grump in general but I will if I have to ;)


kelsey+tom said:
personally i think.you have told him enough times by the sound of it i would send police around with a threat to charge him with trespassing silly old buisy body x
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Don't really want to go down the police route tbh :/ There aren't tresspassing laws in Scotland anyway but even if there were, he doesn't come into the field unless asked or unless he asks for some of the muck from our heap.

Dry Rot said:
As (on occasion) an extremely grumpy old pensioner myself, I would go for the Community Police Officer approach who might also point out that feeding a horse to the point that it causes problems is criminal damage and he could be charged!

On the other hand, I think I would try to be kind. He wants to do good and he wants the horses to like him. Give him a brush and tell him he can groom them in the field. As for poo picking, you clearly have no idea what happens to your body as you get older! If you are lucky, you might have the opportunity to find out from personal experience!

He clearly didn't like having to cut the docks, hence the price hike. Take the hint and give him something he likes to do which will benefit you both. If he is anything like me (and it seems he is), sitting quietly at home is the last thing he wants to do. (But then I have my own ponies!;)). He's probably been active all his life and is now feeling useless. Give him something to do, even if it is noting down car licence numbers because "horse stealing is rife in the area", and he could turn out to be a useful friend.

(The double fence is a good idea, too!:D).
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He does like the horses so I can understand why he did it in the first place just not why he continues when I've asked him not to :/

I've offered for him to come and groom them but he doesn't want to :/

As to the docks, he'd offered months before we asked him and he didn't have to say yes when we eventually did so I'm not going for that bit I'm afraid Dryrot ;)

I didn't suggest he poo pick the field?
Poo picking, especially in this heat is exhausting and back breaking so I wouldn't ask him to do that. The only reason mum asked him to do the docks was that he'd offered in the first place, we thought we were helping him by getting him to help us, we would give him a little extra cash and his favourite drink and just get him more involved really... it kind of backfired :/

I really think the price hike was because I got annoyed with having to repeatedly ask him to lock the field on one particular day and finally put my foot down and actually told him rather than asking him. So instead of saying "please could you make sure you lock the gate when you aren't in view of it, even if you leave the field for 5 mins" I eventually said "I want the field locked whenever you come out of it" in a firm way with underlying exasperation that I'm sure he must have picked up on even though I didn't say it in a horrible way... not sure if that makes any sense, maybe you had to be there :/

The only cars that are in the area are mum's, my friend and the lady who rents the field at the bottom so that wouldn't work I'm afraid but I see where you're coming from. Unfortunately TBH I get the impression that he wouldn't do anything for me as he is very firmly in someones pocket already (whole other story involving someone who is not very nice making things difficult for myself and my friend, full story if you want it by PM) and there are not friendly vibes coming my way from that and the gate/docks issue :(
 
Sorry CT, forgot to say, my mum has also asked him not to feed them but she's even more of a wimp than I am so she'll not get very firm with him at all :o
 
Just because he has a neighbour and talks to people doesn't mean he isn't lonely.

As I said before, I would be taking a much firmer line. I would want to try and help him as well if I could, but would definitely take a firmer line with him.

Regarding electric fencing...I would personally be really hesitant to do this. The last thing I would want is for an elderly man to end up hurt because I put up a fence rather than tackle the issue head on and actually get him to stop.
 
I'm sort of in two minds. I partly feel sorry that he might be lonely and enjoy the attention with the horses (my Grandad used to be too embarrassed to go out for lunch or whatever by himself when my Nan died) and he probably thinks he's being useful, even though you've told him he's not. He's probably saving back/buying extra food to do something 'nice' for the horses and the grass thing sounds like he's trying to be nice just misguided.

Then again though he sounds quite grumpy. I come across a few grumpy old people at work and I'm sure he's not malicious even if he comes across that way. Though the docks thing is a bit of a cheek but hmm.

Could you maybe give him a little bit of hay or something so that he could feed them a handful each? Something that makes him feel like he's doing something nice but wont be harmful for you.

It sounds like he might be a bit rude and stubborn so you'll either have to get him on side or get really strict. I'm a wimp so would probably try not to get strict myself but if you have to then maybe your OH or your vet or his family (does he have any children?) could maybe talk to him.
 
_GG_ said:
Just because he has a neighbour and talks to people doesn't mean he isn't lonely.

As I said before, I would be taking a much firmer line. I would want to try and help him as well if I could, but would definitely take a firmer line with him.

Regarding electric fencing...I would personally be really hesitant to do this. The last thing I would want is for an elderly man to end up hurt because I put up a fence rather than tackle the issue head on and actually get him to stop.
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Aye fair enough I understand what you mean about the loneliness but still not an excuse to keep doing it.

I can't do the electric fence idea anyway because of the water trough and no I'd be horrified if I hurt him too, plus any dog walkers/ cyclists that accidentally touched it - there is a sign on it saying it's electrified but it's not ;)
 
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