embarrassing moments

ILuvCowparsely

ILuvCowparsely

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I have had knee surgery and when bending down taking a livery over reach boot off, slightly on sloping bedding being shall we say well endowed, gravity pulled me forward, and I could not stand up so had to put my hands in dirty bed. Stuck there I reached out and grabbed the belly straps which were dangling as I had not done the up but risk of pulling rug off, but luckily I didn't and stood up. Luckily no one saw me.

Have you had any embarrassing moments when you got stuck in awkward position
 
i’ve had plenty that don’t come to mind right now, but a couple of weeks ago i took diva for her first ridden show - bright spark that i am i thought id take her in the outdoor first, whilst it was blowing a gale - pony wouldn’t let me get on, so a kind man offered to chuck me up…nearly launched me over the other side, pony shot forward so i was behind the saddle, and he very not-so-graciously yanked me forward🙈

5”2 me on my 13.2hh pony i’m sure he was wondering why my mum had left me on my own🤣
 
ILuvCowparsely said:
I have had knee surgery and when bending down taking a livery over reach boot off, slightly on sloping bedding being shall we say well endowed, gravity pulled me forward, and I could not stand up so had to put my hands in dirty bed. Stuck there I reached out and grabbed the belly straps which were dangling as I had not done the up but risk of pulling rug off, but luckily I didn't and stood up. Luckily no one saw me.

Have you had any embarrassing moments when you got stuck in awkward position
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I have done almost the exact same but can't even blame knee surgery or the physics of gravi-titty.

I was playing about one day a few years ago and hopped casually over a tiny, barely off the ground crosspole and asked pony to follow me. She did, and also managed to avoid standing on me while I was face down in the sand on the other side. Nobody saw, but doing in hand poles is fraught with tension to this day.

Oh, or the time I was trying to remove one pony from the field and the gateway was a bog so of course as soon as I go to block the Kevin-cob gelding from following, my boot gets stuck, foot comes out of boot, foot has to return to earth or I'm face planting again so it goes 6 inches into mud and neither the sock nor the boot was ever the same again. Someone did see that one.
 
Many years ago I once fell off while out on a hack, alone, round a riverbank. Nearly a year later I was taken to a local talk at a church hall. As the talk was about local places and in church premises the speaker put up some funny slides that showed both things. One came up of me having just fallen off, on my knees and looking like I was praying. Nearly everybody knew me and could identify me straight away. Most embarrassing.
 
I'm always falling in the mud.

I once broke a rib and buried myself in the muck heap at the same time.

Punched myself in the face doing the girth.

Went round a whole ride with my reins still in my throat lash.

I like to think it's training for my long suffering pony. She just sighs and gives me the side eye when I trip over my own feet now.
 
I was part timing at the local school and got asked to go lead file on the 2 hour fast hack with a bunch of mostly men. My jodhs split as I got on, I had bright red pants on and needed to spend most of the ride in the forward seat as we were bombing around up hills and across country. Middle of summer so no chance of the old ‘jumper round the waist’ trick working.

My face was as red as the underwear by the time I got back.
 
Snowfilly said:
I was part timing at the local RS and got asked to go lead file on the 2 hour fast hack with a bunch of mostly men. My jodhs split as I got on, I had bright red pants on and needed to spend most of the ride in the forward seat as we were bombing around up hills and across country. Middle of summer so no chance of the old ‘jumper round the waist’ trick working.

My face was as red as the underwear by the time I got back.
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I was hacking a freshly backed baby Beryl out (I think it was about our fourth solo hack) round the forest and found a fallen branch blocking the way. Stood debating what to do for a sec and thinking I'll have to turn round when Beryl went to walk over it, so the first stupid thing I did was to trust Beryl had sussed it out, she immediately got her foot stuck in the branches. I quickly got off the baby three year old who was now waving the branch about on her foot in amusement, I quickly freed her and figured whilst I was already off I might as well move the offending branch out of the way. Que grabbing the branch pulling it quite hard and it snapping, sending me rolling underneath the baby three year olds belly :eek:🤣🫣...

Luckily she is super cool and just peered down at me, like what you doing there 🤣, no other witnesses either!
 
I went to provide support and encourageement for a friend at her first ever ODE. She a bit nervous about the cross country (it was 70 cm). She had no need to worry her horse was a very competent ex BE novice eventer, who would have gone around on his own. To keep the atmosphere light hearted I ran up to the first fence, a log and saying 'look even I can jump it'
I caught my toe on the top and went over flat on my face, right in front of the owner of the venue and course builder.
My friend nearly died laughing so it definitely lightened the mood. She went clear!

I am regularly reminded of this every time i go to Eland Logde!
 
Standing in front of mini Shetland once, facing towards him just chatting to someone, he put his head up, charged and i ended up sitting on him facing his tail as he made a run for it. If that wasn't enough I then fell off going through a gate. Honestly a grown woman falling off a Shetland sooo embarrassing
 
I was once out hacking down a really muddy track and bragged to a passing walker who was trying to avoid the mud that he should 'get himself one of these' (a horse) ... to which my horse then decided to show him exactly why he shouldn't get one by launching himself over a puddle into a massive bush, pushing me off and landing in said puddle, running off and getting himself stuck in a tree further up the track haha it was like a comedy sketch!

Man helped me up and said that I should get a good walking stick instead!
 
Oh I could write a novel with all the funny stuff that's happened over my 15+ years in the equine world, but I'll keep it simple, to the point and post my favourite one (at the time it wasn't funny but looking back it was totally hilarious!) :

It was a beautiful sunny day, which had fallen on the weekend so no work schedule to rush home to which is a bonus. I decide to take my now retired pony out for a lovely long ride with friends. I wasn't worried about stamina or anything as he was perfectly fit and it was a ride we'd done so many times that we didn't bother with holding our reins properly half the time (remember this point as it ties into the story quite prominently!). So my friends and I set out from the yard, road users are being lovely and considerate, ponies are happily plodding along and we're all nattering about our summer plans and what to get up to.

We get to the part of the ride where it's a massive open field which we normally trot, canter or gallop through (we also walked through it when required as not to encourage bad behaviour from the horses), and I merrily ask everyone if they fancy a blast up the field. Of course the answer is a resounding yes, so we all check girths, adjust stirrups, decide who will lead etc and make sure everyone is ready. The field is about 3 acres in total with no gates and a nice steady incline so great for letting the horses run without having to worry about fiddling with gates etc.

Now my lad is part sports horse so he accelerates rather sharpish and has been known to keep up with ex racehorses quite easily despite there being a massive height difference (he is about 14.2 and all my friend's ex racehorses are 16.3 plus) . Off we set at a decent pace, everyone is laughing and smiling, the horses are all excitedly doing little crow hops at being allowed to run as a herd, and seeing as I was on the most sensible pony, it was deemed that I was to be chief videographer and then send it to everyone after the ride. So I'm stood in my stirrups, holding my phone out with one hand, facing backwards towards everyone else and had my reins (or so I thought!) in my other hand. I'm busy galloping away on my lad, laughing away and relishing how lucky I am to have wonderful friends and an even more wonderful pony when suddenly I hear shrieking - my blood runs cold as any loud noises around horses isn't good at the best of times! I go to give a gentle squeeze on my reins to ask my lad to steady up, so I can see who is in trouble and my blood pressure accelerates as I see two long leather pieces which were my reins, now completely snapped and dangling around the legs of my mini racehorse.

My friends are yelling at me that my reins are broken and how are we gonna stop my lad, the horses are blissfully unaware of what is happening and I'm beginning to regret not checking I had a decent hold of my reins before setting off at said blistering pace. I shout back to my friends not to worry - my lad is used to me climbing all over him and things dangling around him so he's unlikely to spook. I then decide (for some unknow daft reason!) that the best way to stop my lad would be to lean forward, attempt to grab one of the now broken reins and gently pull him up. I go to lean forward and unfortunately being blessed in the upper chest department, begin to feel myself falling out of the saddle, past my lad's neck, past the set of broken reins and heading towards the ground - so I did what can only be described as some sort of hanging sloth twist manoeuvre (to save myself from hitting the deck and potentially causing a pile up!) which resulted in my lad coming down from his racehorse pace with me clinging onto his neck like some sort of out of shape sloth, my friends now giggling cause the crisis has been averted and me thanking every deity I know that no one got harmed!

Lesson learnt in making sure that you always have a decent hold of your reins when doing anything with horses and especially when setting off for a good blast!
 
Many years ago I was work experiencing on a very successful event yard. It was a quiet time as the rider was abroad competing so we used to go en masse with quad and trailer to the bottom fields to poo pick. I sat on the back of the trailer to hitch a lift back up to the yard and was talking to a second person still on the ground when the quad driver drove off. I just plopped right off, landed on my bum in a seated position. It was still a subject of hilarity a week later... Weirdly I remember that so much more vividly than the presumably countless other embarrassing moments there've been subsequently. Though tbf I am not generally a person given to falling on any part of my anatomy!
 
I have two that stand out so well.
First one was my 18th birthday. I went up to the yard with my friends and we were just having a chill day. I decided that day to wear my beige jodhpurs. Bad choice. Mother nature decided to give me a birthday present and I very quickly bled through the jodhpurs. Call my mum (who was across the other side of town) to please bring me new clothes so I can stay at the yard Mum brings me clothes, I get changed and thats that problem sorted. Me and my friends then decided to have bareback games with our ponies. All was going well, it was a lot of fun until I failed to stop my pony, he ran around the corner, jumped my friends hoodie that she had popped on the floor (out the way of where we were riding but in the way of a run away pony...) and I just lost my balance and flopped onto the floor. Poor pony stopped and wondered why I was suddenly on the floor!

Same pony, I decided to just run around the arena with him, over jumps etc. I remember running up to one jump and going 'Careful theres a pole on the other side' to him (said pole was like off to the side) I didnt need to worry about said pony and the pole... I fell over it for us and it is one of the only times I was sure I broke my ankle. I was at the yard by myself, I laid on the floor in a lot of pain while said pony started nudging my bad leg. I finally called my mum and told her I needed help. By the time she got across town I had just about gotten myself up and was using pony as a crutch. Said pony was also an asshole to turn out and my mum isnt very horsey so she had to hoist me onto the pony to lead us to his field so I could turn him out. Convinced my mum the pain had subsided and I didnt need to go hospital. Got home, took boot off and ankle swelled like a balloon. I was put back in the car and taken to the hospital just to be told it was a very bad sprain (and didnt even get given a bandage... got asked where my shoe was and that I could walk home! Not sure we were looking at the same ankle/foot as I have no idea what shoe she thought that foot was fitting in!)
 
Just remembered another 2 things, we have slip rails in the stables for warm days to keep doors open, went to take livery haynet in, lifted my leg over the bottom bar but not high enough, caught the top of the lower rail and face planted onto his hexigon treat ball. Dragged myself outside the door and stayed sitting for 20 mins. When I got up I could not breath, I had fracture a rib or two.
A year further on, walking to get a wheelbarrow, walked up the small slope slipped straight onto the wheel barrow handles. results broken ribs again
 
On my first lesson on new horse, as I had a wonky knee. Instructors suggested dismount on high block so I didn’t jar knee on school sand. All going ok till I missed the 3rd step on block and landed on my bum. With the instructor in tears laughing , and the horse turning round to sniff my exposed belly above Jods.
 
All these stories have left me weak 🤣🤣

I also have numerous examples but two came to my mind first:

I was hacking round the edge of a field without a care in the world when two pigeons exploded from the grass right under my pony's nose. Surprised, she hopped back and slightly to the side, jettisoning me out of the saddle and leaving me dangling upside down, down her right shoulder. I was in that awful place where 1cm one way I'd stay on, but 1cm the other way I'd hit the deck. Thankfully she was an sensible animal and stood like a rock while I frantically tried to save myself. Both of my arms were on her right side, and I couldn't get my left arm passed myself to hook over her neck. I tried to grab the top of her neck with my right hand but I was hanging too far down to reach. I realised that a fall was inevitable and that in my position it was going to be painful, and probably dangerous due to my position. Suddenly my pony swung her head to look at me and I seized my chance. I grabbed the cheekpiece of her bridle and hauled myself upwards. She stood good as gold, and I got high enough to free my left arm and grab round her neck to pull myself the rest of the way up and back into the saddle.

During my pony clubbing years I had a coloured cob. He had given me a lot of confidence and one day we were going round the x-country course and came to a L shaped fence. The short part was a low pile of logs, and the long side was a much higher stack of railway sleepers. The previous two days I'd jumped the lower side, but this day, fired with enthusiasm I decided to go for the higher side. Unfortunately my pony thought we were doing the lower side again and had already lock on to it. However he was incredibly polite and upon receiving the, undoubtedly not clear enough rein aid to turn to the higher fence he did .... just not quite enough. We met the fence at the pointed part, meaning not only was it higher but a heck of a lot wider! The pony being the genuine sort, jumped anyway ensuring he put in the effort required to clear this unexpected question. We parted company at the top of the flight and I came crashing down flat on my back, all the wind blasted out of me. Everyone thought I was dead. The poor lady who was taking the class and the district commissioner who was there for the day, rushed over ashen faced. There was much relief when they released I was just winded. After what felt like a lifetime I finally got my breath back and was bundled back up onto my pony who had been munching grass all this time. I hopped over the low bit of the jump and went and joined the back of the line, to all the other kids asking if I was OK. The DC told me dad later that the pony had jumped 5 foot and I'd jumped 6 foot.
 
@Nonjumper has reminded me I fell off from a standstill once. RS lesson, standing waiting our turn and sweet Ruby Tuesday spooked sideways at a bird. Not even a big spook, I just wasn't paying attention and I did the splits coming off sideways. Absolutely wrecked myself, couldn't walk properly for weeks, but refused to go to the hospital 💀 Everyone was so confused that I was SO HURT when it was an absolute nothing of a fall 😂
 
Hundreds but most recently.
I was sliding carefully off my pony so as not to jolt my bad foot on landing. Just as I landed he moved towards me knocking me onto my bum from where I rolled backwards down a nettle filled banking ending up wedged upside down against the outside of the arena fence...there were people riding in the arena at the time who didn't let me forget what I'd done.
 
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Too many times!
I've fallen off multiple times while getting on and broken my wrist falling off from a halt.
I also have a nemesis in the form of a tiny hedge (~18" high). It's next to the gate from one bridleway onto another, so I decided to jump it rather than faffing about with the slightly awkward gate. Both the pony and I looked at it and thought it was wide enough to bank, but when he tried he discovered it wasn't actually wide enough. No problem, he puts in the extra effort to turn that into a proper jump. I didn't get the memo and wind up hanging underneath his neck, just as two walkers round the corner and see us 😂. On another day, I tried the same hedge, we jumped it fine this time, so I decide we will jump it going the other way- again fine. Overconfident, I go to jump back and carry on with our ride- he gives it a little more juice than I'm expecting and I go straight out the front door!
 
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