Wiz201
Well-Known Member
Sorry but you can't control when ponies want to fart, wee or poo! Judges should be aware of this.
Embarrassing/naughtiest/stupidest etc thing your horse has done?
- Thread starter LuandLu24
- Start date
B&J
Well-Known Member
One of mine sat on the bonnet of a fellow liveries car mid tantrum. Other one is also a willy / belly slap happy boy especially whilst being groomed. Our little lady managed to rub her head collar off on a wall and get loose on the yard whilst YO friends were there, ended up with them catching my pony as she evaded me completely; making me look very stupid!!
dibbin
Well-Known Member
Another thing ... everyone on our yard is now well aware that nothing can be left within reach of Jazz's stable, because it will end up in his bed or flung across the barn. I went up one morning to find 3 pairs of boots (front, back and overreach), my hi-viz tabard and his ear bonnet in the middle of his bed because a new livery had moved them to where he could get at them.
B&J
Well-Known Member
oh and probably most embarrassingly at the end of a riding lesson I prepared to dismount, horse moved whilst I was mid slide, my top got hooked on the saddle, this went over my head along with my bra snapping and I shamefully gave my male riding instructor a full frontal flash. Actually broke my bra and had to spend the whole day with more freedom than wanted as my new horse was being delivered imminently so couldn't go home to change !
Captain Bridget
Well-Known Member
On an XC fun ride, got my brave pants on and cantering toward a decent size jump (for us). It was a flower box type thing except it was mostly dirt with a bit of grass on it instead. Horse canters towards it, takes off and then in mid air goes 'OH 5^&*^%£' and for some unknown reason decides to land on the middle of the fence and then take off again in one swift move! I have no idea how I didn't come off! The embarrassing part was the photographer and a couple of other people were stood on the other side whilst she took photos of the whole thing. She promptly made me go and do it again!
He has also got caught in a fence before and basically castrated himself despite already being a gelding, when the vet came she said it was in the exact place for gelding! Thankfully we didn't have to treat it at all..
The other day he randomly decided whilst I was untacking to take off into the field with his bridle and breastplate still on. I'd left the gate open and normally he'd stand like a doll but the wind was up his tail that day! (Our field attaches straight onto the yard.) He's also taken off down the drive when his owner left the gate open whilst half tacked up.
His owner was lunging her other horse in the field last week and he decided it would be entertaining to join in, followed the other horse around for a while like he was attached and then when he realised he wasn't, took off bucking and farting up the field, causing other horse to try and follow and owner to ski after them!
Also, you cannot wear anything fluffy/furry near him, fur trimmed hoods etc go straight in his mouth.
Our farrier is minimal on the hair on head side of things and horse likes to lick his head!
He has also got caught in a fence before and basically castrated himself despite already being a gelding, when the vet came she said it was in the exact place for gelding! Thankfully we didn't have to treat it at all..
The other day he randomly decided whilst I was untacking to take off into the field with his bridle and breastplate still on. I'd left the gate open and normally he'd stand like a doll but the wind was up his tail that day! (Our field attaches straight onto the yard.) He's also taken off down the drive when his owner left the gate open whilst half tacked up.
His owner was lunging her other horse in the field last week and he decided it would be entertaining to join in, followed the other horse around for a while like he was attached and then when he realised he wasn't, took off bucking and farting up the field, causing other horse to try and follow and owner to ski after them!
Also, you cannot wear anything fluffy/furry near him, fur trimmed hoods etc go straight in his mouth.
Our farrier is minimal on the hair on head side of things and horse likes to lick his head!
stormclouds
Well-Known Member
Out hacking with a new horse for the first time, and he promptly took one look at the sheep on the other side of the fence and decided to start walking backwards. This carried on until a giant 6ft-something Polish man walked past him, patted him on the neck saying "I love ponies". The Polish guy carried on walking, and horse suddenly started trotting after him. The Polish guy was laughing as my 13hh New Forest had his nose almost in his pockets. He then asked for a photo of the both of us to show his friends at the pub later
looknohorse
New User
I have owned my horse for 16 years so as you can imagine numerous embarrassing moments too many to mention. Whilst out hacking got off to go the shop realised i couldnt get my fat a...e back up so crossed at a zebra crossing into the bus shelter and used the bench to remount followed by a round of applause from the traffic that had stopped to let me cross. Another time out hacking alongside a narrow pavement a small child eating crisps walking along was promptly assaulted and mugged for the Quavers at mine, the mothers and the childs sheer horror. After reassuring a friends daughter who was a novice jumper that he would take her over no problem. He sure did but sent her alone I am sure i saw him smirk. These are just a few oh and if he poos out hacking he has to do it in the middle of the road and stop traffic.
Emma_H
Well-Known Member
My old boy had a wee on a picnic blanket. The people were playing ball near by. I was mortified!!
Serianas
Well-Known Member
Share horse was being admired by about 30 ramblers as they passed and as they were walking away let out the loudest fart I have ever heard...
LittleBlackMule
Well-Known Member
Once when out on a previous, rather nutty horse, I was stopped by an elderly couple asking for directions. I was in the middle of a sentence when my horse let out an explosive fart, spooked at it and took off like a rocket, leaving them looking after us in utter bemusement.
More recently at a sponsored ride with my filly, we were at a refreshment stop. I was sat chatting with the reins round her knees, not paying the slightest attention, when she spotted the table loaded with cakes and sandwiches and launched herself at it. Cue much shrieking and flapping from the ladies manning the refreshments, and we had to leave smartish.
More recently at a sponsored ride with my filly, we were at a refreshment stop. I was sat chatting with the reins round her knees, not paying the slightest attention, when she spotted the table loaded with cakes and sandwiches and launched herself at it. Cue much shrieking and flapping from the ladies manning the refreshments, and we had to leave smartish.
WindyStacks
Well-Known Member
"Awful" embarrassing, naughty incident.
I was living abroad in a very, very rural area, so when I went on holiday I checked my nags in with the local farmer as he had horses too. Anyone who's had horses at home and is single will know what a logistical nightmare it can all be.
Arrived back, farm devoid of human life. Grabbed my two and took them home.
The next day I bumped into the feed delivery man who told me his father had died during my holiday. I gave my condolences but did not push further, the man was 90 and my language skills far from emotionally developed or sympathetic.
A few days later I found out the rest. My big girl had taken umbrage to her holiday and gone absolutely batshit. The farmer, his worker (hay delivery guy) and the old man were in the barn trying to figure out what to do with her when she apparently went totally fruito and the old boy had a heart attack there and then.
Given the location a helicopter was scrambled from a neighbouring country to try and get him. He didn't make it sadly.
Tbf nobody ever held it against me (or her), but I could never look the delivery guy in the face again.
(She was always so sweet on the ground with me that it wasn't until I got my latest alleged problem horse that I realised what an utter barm she was. Not easy by any stretch of the imagination - but then you don't learn from the easy ones!).
I was living abroad in a very, very rural area, so when I went on holiday I checked my nags in with the local farmer as he had horses too. Anyone who's had horses at home and is single will know what a logistical nightmare it can all be.
Arrived back, farm devoid of human life. Grabbed my two and took them home.
The next day I bumped into the feed delivery man who told me his father had died during my holiday. I gave my condolences but did not push further, the man was 90 and my language skills far from emotionally developed or sympathetic.
A few days later I found out the rest. My big girl had taken umbrage to her holiday and gone absolutely batshit. The farmer, his worker (hay delivery guy) and the old man were in the barn trying to figure out what to do with her when she apparently went totally fruito and the old boy had a heart attack there and then.
Given the location a helicopter was scrambled from a neighbouring country to try and get him. He didn't make it sadly.
Tbf nobody ever held it against me (or her), but I could never look the delivery guy in the face again.
(She was always so sweet on the ground with me that it wasn't until I got my latest alleged problem horse that I realised what an utter barm she was. Not easy by any stretch of the imagination - but then you don't learn from the easy ones!).
Pippity
Well-Known Member
She's generally very well-behaved, other than being a bit strong in company, but, oh, good lord, the FARTING. She's known around the yard as the jet-propelled horse because of it.
A previous horse once knocked the dentist over the stable door.
A previous horse once knocked the dentist over the stable door.
Illusion100
Well-Known Member
Stupidest thing....
You know the tiny gap in between the wheelbarrow tyre and the metal bar that loops around the front of it? Horse got his LF stuck it in and of course panicked, dragging the wheelbarrow into the stable with us. Fun times.
You know the tiny gap in between the wheelbarrow tyre and the metal bar that loops around the front of it? Horse got his LF stuck it in and of course panicked, dragging the wheelbarrow into the stable with us. Fun times.
PollyP99
Well-Known Member
Elvis
Well-Known Member
Both of our horses reserve their most embarrassing behaviour for the farrier.
Our pony who used to be awful to shoe, in as much as he wouldn't stand still, has now found a new way of being a hassle- by trying to pee on the farrier, it's amazing how much pee he can store up, and even if he misses, the farrier has to keep stopping to sweep away the torrent of wee.
Our horse is brilliant for the farrier, but a little too interested in what's going on, he loves nothing more than turning his head round and licking, sniffing and nibbling the farriers bum! One farrier remarked that if the horse was allowed to nibble his bum he should be allowed to do the same to the owner!
Our pony who used to be awful to shoe, in as much as he wouldn't stand still, has now found a new way of being a hassle- by trying to pee on the farrier, it's amazing how much pee he can store up, and even if he misses, the farrier has to keep stopping to sweep away the torrent of wee.
Our horse is brilliant for the farrier, but a little too interested in what's going on, he loves nothing more than turning his head round and licking, sniffing and nibbling the farriers bum! One farrier remarked that if the horse was allowed to nibble his bum he should be allowed to do the same to the owner!
Ceriann
Well-Known Member
He sounds brilliant! Laughed out loud!
samleigh
Well-Known Member
Recently purchased new mare, after a hard decision to move on my sharp TB, told saddler/friend all about her calm nature, good as gold, came for second fitting of saddle, mounted, asked mare to stand for saddler where she promptly had a foot stamping, head snaking paddy, I can only put it down to good autumn grass and light work while we were without..but did she embarrass me!
Gloi
Too little time, too much to read.
An old pony of mine got into trouble years ago. He got out of the field and for some reason went in through the open back door of the livery owners large, rambling house and had a stroll around eventually ending up in the front room where someone was watching TV.
Savkins
Well-Known Member
My mare stopped a funeral procession by having a wee in the middle of a narrow country road outside a church. There was no way they could get round her and my god she was peeing for a good minute, I was beetroot red by the time she finished, grunted and carried on her merry way whilst I apologised profusely. I had no choice but to go back past the church and the widow came out of the wake to give my mare a carrot as she thought it was hilarious and her husband would have though so as well.
She licked the bum of someone having sex in a car, to be fair they had left the window open and I was avoiding looking.
She crapped on the vicars dog whilst he was sat behind her.
Only farts going past the local primary school, and its not one puff, oh no she's like a sodding one man band!
I keep her for the entertainment value. Fortunately my gelding is much more reserved.
She licked the bum of someone having sex in a car, to be fair they had left the window open and I was avoiding looking.
She crapped on the vicars dog whilst he was sat behind her.
Only farts going past the local primary school, and its not one puff, oh no she's like a sodding one man band!
I keep her for the entertainment value. Fortunately my gelding is much more reserved.
Floxie
Well-Known Member
As a young teen, only just 'graduated' from years of uninspired riding school onto a 'real' horse, the yard owner took us hunting. I was SO excited - dressed in my shiny boots and show jacket (closest thing I had!) we headed away from the meet into the first, ploughed field - and the horse rolled. I've never sat on a rolling horse before so I had not the foggiest idea what he was up to until it was too late. My shame was multiplied 1000 fold because I was just a kid and didn't know how to laugh it off - it was such an important day! But at least I wasn't worried about getting muddy for the rest of it.
My horse later took himself hunting one Wednesday when they made an unexpected detour past his field (normally they would have been stabled if they were hunting locally). Apparently he was recognised and returned Boy did like his hunting.
He also followed me into the shop once. I'd gone for milk and left him tied outside, but he'd become used to getting treats from the shop lady, and decided to join me. It is a lot easier for a horse to get himself up a step into a doorway than it is to make him do the opposite...
My horse later took himself hunting one Wednesday when they made an unexpected detour past his field (normally they would have been stabled if they were hunting locally). Apparently he was recognised and returned
Boy did like his hunting.He also followed me into the shop once. I'd gone for milk and left him tied outside, but he'd become used to getting treats from the shop lady, and decided to join me. It is a lot easier for a horse to get himself up a step into a doorway than it is to make him do the opposite...
exmoorponyprincess1
Well-Known Member
My ridden Exie is very beautiful and my goodness she knows it...she literally turns her nose up at things that displease her, tosses her mane if she is cross (in true shampoo advert style!) and if you have really annoyed her (by taking a few minutes too long with the haynet or something or similar importance) she turns her back on you and ignores you completely (well I say completely, she keeps an eye on you to check if you are bringing said haynet or whatever and as soon as she sees it, all is right with the world again!). She is a total diva, a complete princess pony...but...like a previous post above, is jet-propelled by the farting!! It totally doesn't go with her looks - she looks far too pretty to fart but she does it in the field, in the stable, out hacking, at shows...and seems to particularly enjoy it if someone is stood around behind her!!!
I also took her on a fun ride recently - it was 10miles and I finally got a few strides of walk out of her at mile 9. There were some people on their big eventy/hunter types who couldn't believe the speed of her as we flew past them on some of the gallops...reaching somewhere near their horses knees in terms of height given all 12hh of exmoor had flattened like a bl00dy racehorse!!! Yep, that was embarrassing!
I also took her on a fun ride recently - it was 10miles and I finally got a few strides of walk out of her at mile 9. There were some people on their big eventy/hunter types who couldn't believe the speed of her as we flew past them on some of the gallops...reaching somewhere near their horses knees in terms of height given all 12hh of exmoor had flattened like a bl00dy racehorse!!! Yep, that was embarrassing!
Madam Min
Well-Known Member
Out hacking and to get into the wooden/parkland area horses have to step over some sleepers, cue Chloe throwing a strop and refusing to walk over them, after some encouragement from my OH she cat leaped them. So we wander on until we come to the next sleepers which open onto a layby which we need to cross to get into the next bit of wooden/parkland area, cue Chloe again throwing another hissy fit but by this time my OH has walked home and its just me and another livery, so with lots of pony club kicking I manage to get her into said layby only now we're stuck in the lay by between both sets of hacking area oh and next to a fairly busy country lane! On this particular Sunday, a man had kindly decided to park his new Audi in the layby reading the morning papers, so Chloe starts doing a 2 step backing closer and closer into his bonnet doing her own version of Strictly Come Dancing, if I turned her the other way she was dancing into the middle of the road! We tried ponying her over with the other horse but nope she refused to go, a lady who walks her dog there and use to ride at our yard tried to bribe her with mints but nope! In the end I had to get off and lead her over, jumping out the way of her whilst she again cat leaped over them! And the man in the Audi seemed oblivious to it all!!!!! Coming home she had gotten over herself and walked over the sleepers no trouble!
misskk88
Well-Known Member
Yard dogs are as bad too.... I use to get changed at the yard straight from work. Car door open whilst I packed my stuff away getting ready to leave. Go to reverse out the yard and I see the dog trotting around happy as larry with bra and pants in mouth, with male YO standing at the door calling his dog.... He had promptly raided my car without me knowing!
JJS
Well-Known Member
I love this one!
JJS
Well-Known Member
This mare sounds hilarious too! There are far too many funny stories on here. I'm at work but I still keep having to have a little chuckle.
fburton
Well-Known Member
And did that have a generally positive or negative effect? Sorry, but that is too funny!
Caol Ila
Well-Known Member
I'm introducing my greenbroke take-everything-in-stride youngster to side reins. As nothing about the whole breaking-in process has phased him, I don't think this will be a big deal, either. They're loose, on the last hole. He takes exception and bolts on the lunge line and rips it out of my hands. Then he gallops out of the indoor arena, and I'm thinking he'll run for the paddock his buddies live in, but he goes the opposite way. The barn is up a long drive, maybe like half a mile up a hill, and the drive comes off a main highway. Horse takes off down this drive, and by now other boarders have seen what's going on and one of them tells me to jump in her car, and we follow the horse, who has a head start, down the drive. Horse has run to the highway and taken a right, towards town. I am thinking of every swear word known to man. We get to the bottom of the drive to find a passing motorist holding the horse on the verge of the highway, who now seems no longer bothered by the side reins and looks calm and quite pleased with himself. He walks quietly, side reins and all, back up the drive to the barn.
My mare is a dignified creature who has never done any stupid stuff. Can't think of anything in 16 years of owning her. Savkins' story does remind me that I once encountered people having sex in a car on a hack, and always regretted my decision to hurriedly ride away, rather than approach the car and make my horse stand with her face against the window. It would probably have been a surprise for those people to see a long horse face staring at them.
My mare is a dignified creature who has never done any stupid stuff. Can't think of anything in 16 years of owning her. Savkins' story does remind me that I once encountered people having sex in a car on a hack, and always regretted my decision to hurriedly ride away, rather than approach the car and make my horse stand with her face against the window. It would probably have been a surprise for those people to see a long horse face staring at them.
armchair_rider
Well-Known Member
Some of these are hilarious. Best I can offer is one of teh RDA ponies managing to undo my belt mid-lesson. Luckily I caught my trousers before they fell very far.
SunSeeker
Active Member
Brilliant stories!
There's been sooo many embarrassing moments its hard to know where to begin.
My first pony was almost the "devil incarnate" (12hh dartmoor pony)... he could break out of almost any field and one day took himself on walkabouts. He went to our local village shop/post office, boldly pushed open the door and made his way up to the counter. He proceeded to pick up and rummage through all the post and newspapers that the postmistress had carefully laid out ready for delivery. She had been out the back and when she came in there was shredded papers and chewed mail everywhere.....
But the "piece de resistance" was he had found the huge plastic jar of extra strong mints and had managed to break the lid and was occupied with shaking them loose and scoffing them up like there was no tomorrow. The postmistress was, quite understandably, rather annoyed!
At PCcamp he showed me up by trying to eat everything in the potato race, what a struggle I had trying to get his head out that bucket! All his antics still make me laugh 40 years later!
There's been sooo many embarrassing moments its hard to know where to begin.
My first pony was almost the "devil incarnate" (12hh dartmoor pony)... he could break out of almost any field and one day took himself on walkabouts. He went to our local village shop/post office, boldly pushed open the door and made his way up to the counter. He proceeded to pick up and rummage through all the post and newspapers that the postmistress had carefully laid out ready for delivery. She had been out the back and when she came in there was shredded papers and chewed mail everywhere.....
But the "piece de resistance" was he had found the huge plastic jar of extra strong mints and had managed to break the lid and was occupied with shaking them loose and scoffing them up like there was no tomorrow. The postmistress was, quite understandably, rather annoyed!
At PCcamp he showed me up by trying to eat everything in the potato race, what a struggle I had trying to get his head out that bucket! All his antics still make me laugh 40 years later!
Jango
Well-Known Member
My boy is pretty embarrassing! Most of his naughty stories involve climbing something he's obsessed! Once at an event we were in my instructors lorry eating some lunch, tried to get out the door and couldn't as Jango was standing on the steps trying to force his way in!! He has to be tied at the other side now or he tries to get in!
He escaped from his field one night and broke into someones feed room and ate a whole bag of safe and sound.
He is very well mannered usually, a 10 year old regularly leads him, but one day he barged past a friend who was getting him in and he ran off and climbed up a pile of rubble and stood at the top looking very pleased with himself!
He is really chilled and easy to do and about 3 friends who have never rode in their life have had a go on him and managed to get him to walk/halt/turn in the arena. I had a potential sharer come and try him, apparently she had ridden for a while... and he wouldn't do anything she asked!! In walk he just completely ignored her and kept marching towards me and then the hedge! I was mortified! Love him to bits though!
He escaped from his field one night and broke into someones feed room and ate a whole bag of safe and sound.
He is very well mannered usually, a 10 year old regularly leads him, but one day he barged past a friend who was getting him in and he ran off and climbed up a pile of rubble and stood at the top looking very pleased with himself!
He is really chilled and easy to do and about 3 friends who have never rode in their life have had a go on him and managed to get him to walk/halt/turn in the arena. I had a potential sharer come and try him, apparently she had ridden for a while... and he wouldn't do anything she asked!! In walk he just completely ignored her and kept marching towards me and then the hedge! I was mortified! Love him to bits though!