Embarrassing/naughtiest/stupidest etc thing your horse has done?

[3OldPonies]

Was picking out the oldies back feet one morning, before going on to work, and while doing so he pooed on my head.

Needless to say I had to go back home and start the morning all over again and was pretty late for work that day. I couldn't tell them what had happened so invented a dentists appointment first thing as my excuse.

 

[Savkins]

And did that have a generally positive or negative effect? Sorry, but that is too funny!

Well the man banged his head on the roof in shock, turned round then saw my daffy mare looking at him with her big green eyes, she then whinnied at him in a knowing way. I apologised, he apologised and we carried on our hack. He came into my work later that week with his wife who was definately not the woman in the car. I kept quiet and then went to the back of the store for a good laugh.

Its impossible to stay mad at my mare for long, she is unbelieveably funny and almost has a human sense of humour.

 

[Savkins]

I probably should add some of what my mothers eldest gelding has done.

Pulled up a 50 metre line of electric fencing in the 15 minutes it took me to walk to the little ponies paddock, sort them out and come back. He detatched the tape from the posts and then he pulled to post out of the ground. I switch the fencing on before I go anywhere now.

We give them sprout branches at christmas, he held one end, swung it round his head and hit our oldest mare in the face with a sprout. She bit him.

Bit into an apple that was in a bag and swung it round, spooking everytime it went past his face. Would he let go, would he hell as!

Picked up the vet by her pants, she bobbed down to write something on a passport and he decided to lift her to her feet by her underwear.

He whinnies whenever he has a wee. He had a urine infection years ago and now he likes to make sure we know when he's done a tiddle.

The only way to tell him off is to blow gently in his face. He did something naughty, I blew in his face turned around and he kicked me up the bum with a front leg.

My mum won't sell naughty ponies so he's here for life

Fortunately the other six we have are really well behaved.

 

[PolarSkye]

Kali used to be in a corner stable, with a very big horse stabled in the other corner . . . Kali didn't like said horse much, so used to put his head through his window (which he broke . . . another story) and would drag the other horse's rugs (kept neatly over his stable door) into his own stable and wee and poo all over them.

When cross country schooling at Boomerang, he broke the bailer twine with which he was tied to lorry and headed back out onto the course - running smack into Sarah Stretton (who was parked up next to us) and one of her very posh event horses - she was very kind to let us use her horse's bottom in this way.

At his very first eventer's challenge (with us) he refused the first fence in the SJ'ing nearly unseating his jockey (the fence was about 1'6" - he can jump 1.30M) and then proceeded to nearly sit on a fence judge's car out on the cross country course because he was rearing and spinning in front of a fence and generally being a nappy so-and-so.

At his very first dressage competition (with us) he broke away from the lorry and tried to leg it up the drive, it took three of us to get a saddle on him because he was so wired and when he went into the arena to do his test the steward said in a wry tone "ahhh, the escapee!" . . . he then proceeded to do most of the test (Intro A) in canter and backwards, leading the judge to ask me if he was a 3-year-old OTTB . . . erm, no, he's a 13-year-old WB cross .

At East Soley, he was so naughty next to the lorry that the venue owners asked us to put him back on the lorry because he was a danger to those around him/was cutting up their surface . . . I think they were very close to asking us to leave . . . to be fair to him, the mechanic had changed the partitions in the lorry and (being the quirky soul he is) it had really upset him . . . we boxed him up, took him home, worked out what the problem was, re-set the partitions and he was back to his usual self . . . but I don't think I dare ever take him back to East Soley again .

I have to say, that despite all of the above, once he got the idea of competing, standing nicely next to the lorry, etc., he was an angel to take out . . . but those first few times were exciting, to say the least . . .

P

 

[Ladyinred]

Disclaimer: This is NOT one of mine and I do NOT live in this area

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-29550834

And we thought our horses were cheeky!!

 

[RhaLoulou]

These are so funny they could go in a book!
My old mare has always behave her worse when away from home, she scrapped her way to the top of the field pecking order at a horse job I had, which wasn't bad going for a two year welshie amongst a load of warm bloods! When she went to stud she smashed every bucket on the place and kicked the stable door keeping the owners awake, the only thing behaved for was being covered, when we took her back to be tested by the stallion she kicked out and the whole of the door jamb and stable door fell off, thank goodness she was in foal!

 

[LeannePip]

For most of my horses stabled life she has been in american barns with varius forms of horse proof boor bolts - she is now in and outside court yard with a horse proof bolt, unfortunatly the horse in the stable next to hers whose door is directly next to hers just has a normal sliding bolt and on occasions when the yard havent done his bottom bolt or put a clip on his door, she has kindly let him out to have a nibble at the grass in the court yard!

As she gets older i find my self saying 'well she hasnt done that before' more and more!!

She was being a complete PITA the week before we went to a residential camp to the point i wasnt sure i'd enjoy it, when i arrived i was pretty down about the horse didnt know what was wrong with her she was being a complete witch, told my friend how awful she was being and that this weekend could get exciting - the horse then decided to prove me compleetly wrong all weekend by being a complete paragon of virtue, being an absolute swot and being good at everything! Until during the weekend a Reiki/ communicator lady came to speak to her and told me that she felt very un loved and hard done by and pretty much insinuated that she was jealous because i had got a new car!

She will also randomly decide on occasion that she cannot possibly go into her stable for no apparant reason which can very very very embarassing when she just plants her self outside the door!

 

[ktj1891]

Fallen down a 10ft drop into a ditch from wood chip turnout pens. Was the most frightening thing ever, she came out covered in black stingy sewage and thorns all stuck in her. It boggles the mind how it happen but i'm not surprised it happened to her!

 

[Annagain]

Some of these are hilarious.
My first pony was a bit of a character to say the least. When I started riding him I was naiive 12 yr old and he was a newly broken 5 yr old with strong opinions - not the best mix, but we muddled through. The first time I took him to pony club he was a saint, hacked nicely along the main road, jumped the clear round (about 9"high!) and generally behaved beautifully. On the way home (with me bursting with pride) there was a rugby match on the common, complete with about 100 specatators, so rather than our normal canter, we just walked. He was most disgruntled at this so bronced until I fell off and then legged it, right onto the middle of the rugby pitch where he promptly stuck his head down and ate.

I recently took my boy to do dressage for the first time in 2 years as my share horse went lame after I entered. He's never been a fan of going out competing and he gets very tense, but he had been going well at home and it was a very low key riding club evening thing, so we thought why not. First test, he was a bit unsettled but very good for him. Second test, he was a star - foot perfect. My friend calling for me looked on incredulously, I was grinning in disbelief and pride.
Then, the last move but one involved cantering across the diagonal and trotting at X before we went up the centre line. I could feel it brewing as we went round the corner and as soon as he was on the diagonal there was a massive fart and he was OFF. He'd just used up all his goodness and couldn't do it any more! I managed to keep him in the arena somehow, but I had to do an entire circuit (on the wrong leg) before I could stop him and turn up the centre line, which he then did perfectly and we got an 8 for our halt! My caller was howling laughing, I was howling, I could see the judge and writer (both friends who know him well and know how volatile he can be) shaking in their car laughing. My dressage sheet afterwards just had a 3 and "hahahaha" in the comments. Even with that, it was the best test we've ever done, would have been over 70% without that 3.

 

[Sologirl]

My mare stopped a funeral procession by having a wee in the middle of a narrow country road outside a church. There was no way they could get round her and my god she was peeing for a good minute, I was beetroot red by the time she finished, grunted and carried on her merry way whilst I apologised profusely. I had no choice but to go back past the church and the widow came out of the wake to give my mare a carrot as she thought it was hilarious and her husband would have though so as well.

She licked the bum of someone having sex in a car, to be fair they had left the window open and I was avoiding looking.

She crapped on the vicars dog whilst he was sat behind her.

Only farts going past the local primary school, and its not one puff, oh no she's like a sodding one man band!

I keep her for the entertainment value. Fortunately my gelding is much more reserved.

I am HOWLING here!!!

 

[KidnapMoss]

My husband had sprayed off our paddocks and a very kind and lovely friend allowed us to graze our ponies for a week or two on their land as their daughters pony was at school. I noticed a beautiful hand made sign, on the field shelter, all personalised with the little girls pony and colours and ponies name, it was a work of art. My pony then ate it until there was nothing left but a soggy bit of wood I had to source the company it came from and luckily they still had the order details and it cost £39!!!!!!!!! For a stable sign! It was beautiful though, and I was mortified! Luckily our friends saw the funny side ( I hope!) as we replaced it with one exactly the same.

As if that wasn't enough on the morning we were going home he somehow uprooted the gate post. Which was set in concrete. My husband and one of his employees then spent a morning putting that right

We are still friends and their pony stays with us when they go away!! He is very polite though

 

[lottiepony]

I had to take out all the middle partitions of a borrowed trailer at a show so my mare would load to come home. Once she was in we then had to refit partitions as had taken someone else and their horse (Not that she battered an eyelid at that!)
Quite recently our drain to the septic tank got blocked so cue me in wellies, marigolds etc in the horses field trying to clear it with rods, when I'm down by the tank naughty pony investigates bag of drain rods left by the drain cover, starts pawing at them so I shout so he goes to run away but takes bag with him caught on his foot scattering rods all over the field!

 

[Tern]

oh and probably most embarrassingly at the end of a riding lesson I prepared to dismount, horse moved whilst I was mid slide, my top got hooked on the saddle, this went over my head along with my bra snapping and I shamefully gave my male riding instructor a full frontal flash. Actually broke my bra and had to spend the whole day with more freedom than wanted as my new horse was being delivered imminently so couldn't go home to change !

I am peeing myself here.. We need to know what happened after...

 

[B&J]

I'd love to say I styled it out and strutted my stuff back to the stables nochalently but alas no! I did a human impression of a tomato, located one of the bra cups somewhere near my ear and tried to at least get most of my body under some kind of modesty. Couldn't face the instructor whilst he practically rolled around on the floor roaring. I shuffled off and hid shamefully in the stables on the pretense of untacking :-/ I still haven't lived it down!!!

 

[Mike007]

Led my old horse through the farmyard to his stable. He spotted a bucket ,just off to the left, waited for the opportune moment to take a dive for it and grab a mouthfull.................of cold sump oil from the combine harvester. His face was a picture, He stood up and stared fixedly at his stable door and marched off ,with all about him falling over laughing. I have never seen a horse come close to bursting into tears as then!

 

[Tern]

I'd love to say I styled it out and strutted my stuff back to the stables nochalently but alas no! I did a human impression of a tomato, located one of the bra cups somewhere near my ear and tried to at least get most of my body under some kind of modesty. Couldn't face the instructor whilst he practically rolled around on the floor roaring. I shuffled off and hid shamefully in the stables on the pretense of untacking :-/ I still haven't lived it down!!!

BAHAHAHA.. Do you still have lessons with this instructor? XD

 

[B&J]

Occasionally lol

 

[MagicMelon]

The only 3 things which pop into my mind was my Welsh Cob I had a few years ago - he was pretty stupid, he jumped over the breast bar in the trailer once (he did get his front legs over several times) so his entire body was squished into the front bit. He just stood there looking sheepish while we let him out whereupon he fell down the side ramp, but merrily trotted round and straight back up the ramp and in again. Same horse also exploded one day at a horse show, I'd just got on beside the trailer and he did some spectacular leap into the air which sent me straight into the side of the trailer, down the side of it and into a heap - scratched my brand new GPA so wasn't best pleased. Very odd for him though, think he must have been stung. That was pretty embarassing though, as after that he refused to let me get back on him so we gave up and went home, next day he acted as though nothing had happened. My Luso embarassed me at a BE event a few years back by prancing through his dressage test (windy day and trees lining one side of arena...) and then just as I lifted one hand off the rein to salute at the end he leapt dramatically sideways dumping me at G and galloped off back to my mother in the warm-up!

 

[cbmcts]

Pony

Through a proper paddy in the middle of the road, all four hooves drumming on the tarmac because there was an ice cream van and I didn't buy him a cone (I didn't have any money on me!). We were right by a kids playground one side and a pub garden the other...so I couldn't even swear at him.

Untied himself from the trailer at a show and was found in someone elses lorry. Well, they had haylage which fatty ponies aren't given. I had to drag him off the lorry.

When driven, he was very strict on the rules of the road (he was a cracking driving pony who really, really knew his job). If a car didn't move off quick enough at a green light he'd try and overtake it, didn't like being overtaken so would 'race' cars and would face off any vehicle who didn't pull over/reverse on narrow lanes.

He used to pull up electric fencing poles and very carefully tip toe over the now shorted out tape. Sadly, his fellow fatties weren't as careful not to entangle themselves so I had to put in about wooden 50 fence posts in various patterns to have restricted paddocks. He could open any gate or door and when he untied himself/got loose would carry his leadrope in his mouth and walk very quietly and carefully over concrete so you didn't here a 'clip clop' usually on his way to rob food.

He looked so angelic but really wasn't. I miss him.

Cob

Left a dressage arena at speed - got a comment of MOT failure (no breaks or steering) on score sheet

Sat on the bonnet of a van because he saw a burger box blowing in the wind on the road.

Refused point blank to unload at a show but scampered off the lorry the second we got home. Next time, refused to load at the show and had to be hacked 5 miles home. 10 years later, trots on and off the lorry every single time!

Pulled the back wiper off a car while at a junction. Also attacked an aerial on a car. Both times I had to jump off and forcibly remove the car parts from his mouth.

As a yearling, laid down in the ring and wouldn't get up - he was even snoring.

His best one ever, napping at something stupid was backing into roadworks - he hit the plastic red and white barriers which I thought would make him jump forward but no. He kept going and I remember seeing the blokes that were working jump out of the hole in the road and grab equipment and start (noisily) dragging it out of the way. Still going backwards despite me doing everything I could to stop him, turn him, move him forwards until his back legs went into the hole at which point I jumped off. I was convinced he'd really hurt himself and was saying call the vet, thinking he was going to be shot on the road and so on and I'm not normally a panicker. Anyway, I shouted at him and hauled on his bridle and he pops out of the hole - all he had were a few scrapes on his stifles, he wasn't even stiff. Once again, we walked home.

 

[windand rain]

Highland pony at a local show wandered past the burger van and neatly nicked the burgers off the hot plate as she walked passed. Says something about the burgers as much as anything

 

[Dave's Mam]

The willy fly slapping image has cheered up my morning no end

It was his party piece. Very embarressing.
Oh weeing all over my friend's driveway too.