Embarrassment

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mickey

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What is the most embarrassing faux-pas you have had with a horse?
Off the top of my head I can remember being smartly dressed for pony club one day, lovely clean beige breeches and white shirt; Unfortunately, Peggy, the coloured cob I used to ride used to 'bog-off' as we called it, in hand. So there I was trying to load her into the lorry, when she took off towards the paddock, me in tow, dragged me through the gate entrance, and charged off. Because I held onto her until the last moment I ended up face down in the foot of mud at the paddock entrance, closely watched by the 2 boys I used to ride with, cracking up with laughter. (I was about 14 at the time, as were they). It took me a while to live that down.
 
Went for a sj lesson & my bra broke, luckily I'm hardly built like Jordan & had quite a loose t shirt on, was torn between asking Paul to knot the strap back on, or carrying on with one boob flying about, decided on the latter & he kept saying "just canter over this, again" OMG!! Either he hadn't noticed as he was so intent on the brilliance of my riding (unlikely), or he hadn't noticed as I am not due on page 3 anytime soon, or he had, & is a sadist!!! After I had untacked while having a conversation with him at the end, realised that half my bra strap was dangling out of my t shirt sleeve, definately think he was too polite too mention it!!!
 
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Went for a sj lesson & my bra broke, luckily I'm hardly built like Jordan & had quite a loose t shirt on, was torn between asking Paul to knot the strap back on, or carrying on with one boob flying about, decided on the latter & he kept saying "just canter over this, again" OMG!! Either he hadn't noticed as he was so intent on the brilliance of my riding (unlikely), or he hadn't noticed as I am not due on page 3 anytime soon, or he had, & is a sadist!!! After I had untacked while having a conversation with him at the end, realised that half my bra strap was dangling out of my t shirt sleeve, definately think he was too polite too mention it!!!

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Lol
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PLEASE can people give prior warnings about posts that are going to cause LOL episodes, had to grab my nose and duck down behind my monitor then!!
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When I was at college I got on a horse that I usually got on very well with, but just as I was swinging my leg over something spooked him and I ended up sitting behind the saddle! Lecturer came and caught horse, who fortunately was quite calm after initial spook and I clambered back on, so ungracefully! Everyone was sniggering at me!
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lol mine is similar but not as embarrassing I don't think. I was having a flatwork lesson with a male instructor and the zip on my flies broke about 5 mins in...I had white pants on with black jods so there was no way you couldn't notice! Again he was too polite to mention anything at the time but at the yard xmas party he was severely intoxicated & took great joy in telling me that he couldn't stop staring at my crotch area the whole lesson! Shame lol
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When I was teaching, I took out a hack to the beach (all fairly experienced riders) when we got to the beach entrance (lovely soft sand) I halted and turned in the saddle to tell everyone what we were going to do and to warn them not to let their horses put their noses right down on the sand and to ride them on if they did, without warning Iwas on the floor
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my mare decided she wanted to roll, everyone was crying laughing ... I wasn't amused but did see the funny side after, also when doing, my Stage 3 my bra popped open going over the first fence
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Well my most embarrasing moment was when I was looking for a new horse after taking about 5 year break.I was running late and after a 2 hour car journey without sat nav, to say i was flustered was an understatement.
having arrived I jumped out of the car put boots and chaps on, got hat and whip and apologised for being late, I was met with a couple of sniggers and strange looks.
Hmm looked down, I'd only got my chaps on the wrong legs, I laughed at myseld while cringing with horror inside, ran to the loo and chanhed came back out feeling a right numpty, couldn't wait to get back into my car, oh the shame of it!
 
I was hacking my (usually unflappable) horse on a really long rein when a couple came around the corner of the path pushing a pushchair. The incredibly calm neddy spun round like greased lightening, dumped me in a bush and strolled off to eat the grass. The couple came to pull me out of the bush and it turned out to be my incredibly gorgeous Osteopath and his wife!
 
The first sj lesson I had with Pauls predecessor, I took Kizzy along & explained all my (many) problems, he decided in his great wisdom that she didn't need a flash & a martingale, so removed them & leapt on. Warmed her up a bit, jumped her round a bit & said "I can't see what the problem is here", turned towards the double, wearing his mirror shades & no hat with the famous words "ok ladies, this is how you do it" to us admiring females, cantered towards the first part, whereupon she picked up in front, span right & dropped her shoulder, he flew off, climbed out from amongst the poles & said, "oh yes, I see, she does have a bit of a stop doesn't she" while I cringed with embarassment, & the other admirers wet themselves laughing, the pony then preceeded to nap, spin, rear & tank off round the arena, as I had previously warned him prior to tack removal. OMG!! We went to him for a while, before departing to the lovely Paul Crago of the bra story previously posted.
 
On junket with work, went pony trekking. Another lady and I were more experienced and asked if we could go off for something a bit faster.
After a lovely gallop on a long beach we were paddling in the sea to cool off when my mount stopped, dropped and rolled.
I jumped off in the nick of time but when I returned everyone was sitting on the coach ready to leave and saw me sopping back from the yard leaving a trail of puddles.
Had to sit on a newspaper on the way back to the B&B...everyone sniggering at the 'experienced' rider.
Also has given me a bit of a fear of riding in water, for some strange reason....
 
Plenty of times, its F's main past time!

Most recently his owner and someone we used to be on a yard with were talking about his unflappable attitude, it was a very windy day and we were warming up at dressage. F took his cue to start spooking and spinning at EVERYTHING in sight.

Also showing off to a particularly nice looking man I'd been chatting to out hacking, said goodbye and went to jump a log... F took it at at least 6 ft and I adopted the typical thelwell pony rider stance - half way up his neck, bum in the air! OH the shame!
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I decided to hack to my house one christmas morning, wasnt feeling too great (due to lots of alcohol!
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) but thought a nice hack would make me feel much better before christmas dinner.
On the way back to they yard, spied a nice canter with a log to pop so off we set. As pony landed he span and dropped his shoulder with the skill of a shetland (hes 16.3hh of carthorse!)
and i continued cantering without him as he disappeared in the opposite direction!
He stopped at the bottom of the field so i jumped up and ran to catch him, as i closed in on him he took off, galloping through the village. I chased after him but was stopped by a policeman to ask if i owned the loose horse to which i replied yes, bloody man took off in his car after pony leaving me to run! By the time i caught up with him, he was in the middle of a cricket pitch (:o) with a large gathering of noisey villagers plus said policeman keeping everyone away from the "mad, loose horse".
Hen was happy munching on nicely manicured grass and refused to let any one near him, bloody animal, id of refused all knowledge of him if i could!!
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Most humiliating thing i have ever had to do was get back on that animal in front of all those people! He proceeded to try and dump me several more times that morning, i was not in the christmas spirit by the time i arrived home!
He knows exactly when to act up! Usually when as many people as possible are watching! My first year at uni he would constantly try and dump me in front of the rugby pitch when everyone was training!
Cant exactly miss 3/4 of a ton of patchy carthorse rearing and farting around!
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Ohh most of these have alot to do with boobs!!lol so does mine.... i cringe when i think of it!!
It was a hot day and myself and my friend decided to hack round the woods bareback, we both had shorts on and I had a crop top on (you know the type you dont wear a bra with) well had a lovely ride and on the way back we have a track that runs towards the yard everyone was in the yard so could see us so we started a little trot which went into canter which went into horses racing each other i had one hand on my reins one on my top, I had to make a decision try and pull up or lose my top!! I chose pulling up!! the yard manager was a bloke in his 60's and boy did he get an eyefull!!! I think i made his year!!
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Oh - I have sooooooooo many to tell!! I will save you all the cringes and keep it to the most recent one!

I has just set off on a ride one evening recently, and as it was very windy, spooks was a bit tense (ears virtually up my nose, very short choppy stride etc) so i was quite happily chatting away to him which normally helps him to chill out, a car came along the road towards me so i pulled into a layby to let it past, and with that, spooks coughed and at the same time let out the most almighty fart!! Chuckling to myself i glanced behind me to check there weren't any cars coming the other way......only to find a cyclist had pulled into the layby behind me and was stood looking a little shocked about 10 ft behind us!! He said " Bloody hell - I almost ended up in the next village then" The only thing i could think of to say was "Think yourself lucky he didn't follow through!!"
 
LOL - Some of these are so funny! It's almost as embarrassing when your horse does this than if you'd done it yourself!!
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well has anyone been on all fours in a river of cow pat??!!!

I was out hacking, going through a farm and some farmers had put up a makeshift 'gate' which was basically a bar across the lane so i had to get off and open it...
...only problem was the field above had a river of slurry running out of it and into the lane....
...well my lovely boy only decided to pull me over in so i was on all fours.
I bet he was laughing his arse off!!!
Had to wash off with a pressure hose......in the middle of winter!
 
Many years ago show jumping in the large main ring in my lovely new breeches which were a little tight but thought they were fantastic. Rather large course up to hieght, rather fizzy horse, maximum concentration, ripping sound and pants on view for all to see whilst negotiating the combination.
 
LOL this thread is so funny!!! My most embarrassing moment so far is when I was staying with a friend and we decided to go for a ride. I had to borrow a pair of her jods - she was 2 sizes smaller than me and half way on the hack I bent down to do a gate and the jods split!!
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I made sure to keep my bum firmly on teh saddle after that!!!
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well has anyone been on all fours in a river of cow pat??!!!


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Not quite but I have fallen in a river full of cr*p! Decided the thing to do to get the stubbon youngster to cross the stream was to ride F across it and J would pass youngster's lead rope to me, all would follow and she would cross via the footbridge. Helpful mount has already decided the water would look better a different shade of green and pooed in the middle of it.

What's the first rule when attempting this? Always make sure you've done your girth up properly!

This would prevent a situtation where youngster has dug his heels in and taken root, is still refusing to cross, you still hang on for grim life, your mount walks forwards and somethign has to give - you! Cue a slow but certain slide round his belly into the sh*tty stream!

God I stank for ages after that....
 
Trying a horse to buy and after watching it being ridden, hopped on and as I liked the horse (not George!) decided to pop a little 1ft jump, like a complete numpty I fell off and broke my nose and then preceeded to bleed all over the owners pristine white jods - oh the shame!
 
Rode in an event yard, and was riding an ex Burghley young event horse winner. It had been a wet day, and I was resplendent in long wax jacket, complete with leg ties.
Anyway, I finished my ride, returned to the yard, stylishly swung leg over the saddle to dismount, only to be left swinging as my wax had caught over the cantle.
I couldn't get back on, my feet couldn't reach the ground....my WPs had to rescue me.
S
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I swung my leg over my horses neck once and the back of my jacket caught on my cantle, so I was left hanging there... until it ripped straight up the side under my weight!
The moral being, always dismount your equine in the correct manner!
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Another classic, was riding down a track past a load of fly-tipped junk, my silly horse suddenly caught his reflection in a TV screen and leapt up and sideways in one swift, graceful movement, leaving me where I was, quite literally landed on my feet! First thing I did was look 'round to make sure no-one had seen me!!
 
I fell off my horse when it was standing still! We were going to a show and I'd spent ages getting her sock white. We were hacking there as it was only up the road and walking down a path had to negotiate a puddle. I stopped her after the puddle and lent over to check the sock was still clean, girth wasn't tight, saddle slid round, you can guess the rest :-)

I ended up sitting on the floor next to her with her looking down at me with a 'what are you doing?' look on her face!
 
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