emotional meltdown - i might lose my lovely old boy this week

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abracadabra

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dont know if i will want to carry on without him if the worst comes to the worst

he is having xrays on monday on his jaw and i will find out what can/cant be done

his jaw has swollen, got the vet out and he's been on bute and a course of I.M. antibiotics which doesnt seem to have done anything

dentist has also been out and several lower teeth are loosening with an infection. dentist and 2 vets have all spoken to one another and apparently its 'an interesting case'

hopefully its an abcess, hopefully the infection is not into the bone, and hopefully its not a tumour (all mentioned)

im in a desperate state about the poor bugger and dont know if i want to carry on without him, ive barely looked at the other horses since the vet was out first time and ive not eaten since tuesday.

OH has been looking for another horse ive told him i might not want a new horse around for a while if the old boy goes, but he thinks im over-reacting. maybe i am but ive had this horse 20 odd years since i was a kid
 
Aw hun. Hugs to you. To be of any use to your lad you must be strong, you must eat. The other horses need you.

Life can be and is cr*p at times, but you get through it, even if you're on your knees. Your lad would not want you on your knees.
 
i know exactly how you feel , the horse i've had for 15 yrs is slowly getting older and older and before i know it she may be gone. words will not describe how i will feel, i cry every time i think of it.

does a tumour mean the end??? how bad is he at the mo?
 
Fingers, paws and hooves crossed that they get to the bottom of it and he is mended really soon.

Hugs for you both
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I'm sorry to hear of your problems with your boy.Of course you are not over reacting,he has been a big part of your life for such a long time.
I hope your vet can get to the bottom of his problems and sort him out
Hugs to you(((((((((((((()))))))))))) and vibes for your horse{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
 
Oh hugs, poor you and horsey, I hope he's gonna be ok, and fingers crossed its just a nasty infection that can be cleared up quickly.
Unfortunately when we've had horses a very long time you do have to come around to the idea they will go before us, i lost my old cob after 13 years very suddenly, theres not a day that goes by that I dont think of him and that was 4 years ago now, I thought id have him for much longer.
Be strong for him and dont make your self ill by not eating hun.
 
I know how you feel my old mare is having xrays on monday too, due to laminitis and abcesses. fingers crossed for both of them
 
I know how you are feeling I lost my old boy in feb this year I had only had him 21 years, and we had been though so much together! I havent replaced him and slowing slipping out of the horse world, I still miss him especially when Im haveing a bad day, I dont have a yard to sweep or able to sit in his field telling him all my worries, with his soft nose looking down on me telling me it will be ok, but I take comfort from knowing I did the best thing for him.
Lets hope your boy is mendable and it all works out good in the end.
Big hugs for you both. Stay brave for both of you, he will need you to be strong for him.
 
thank you everyone for your kind words

if its anything they can fix...if it is a tumor that will be that, and the dentist (very good dentist) was doing the sucking-air-between-teeth thing mechanics do, he said if the infection is into the bone/too far in..(sentence unfinished by dentist...

however, he said if the lower teeth need to be remved on that side he'll do fine with management, but vet2 says not...he relies on those teeth. which of course he does but i can modify his diet to suit.

my insurance on this horse lapsed while i was away at uni and i couldnt gt him reinsured for vets fees, so i can pay what i can pay/OH can pay/mother can pay, but if it comes into thousands and thousands and thousands i just cant
 
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he can have my last penny and my overdraft etc. but if it comes down to silly money i just havent got it.

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Please don't feel bad! You have given your horse the best life he could have had and all the love you could have given. He is a very lucky horse whatever happens. Hope it turns out to be fixable, but if not then no amount of money could have helped and sometimes you just have to do the kindest thing for your boy and not try to prolong the inevitable. <<<<<<<<HUGS FOR YOU BOTH>>>>>>>>>
 
Chin up time and if you can, make plans for every scenario - including and especially the worst one.

I had all my plans made ages before they were needed and thankfully they all went ahead smoothly when the time came. This made everything a little less stressful for all and didn't add to the absolute devastation and sadness of losing a big part of my life.

Oddly, though, it wasn't due to the grave prognosis illness which the vet was sure would be the end - she had another three years after that. So all the crying and worrying over it was a bit premature.

I'm a carrier-on, though and although I cry freely and regularly by her grave (yeah, well, part of my promise was that she would never leave her home and I had that luxury) I still have lots of fun and happiness with the rest of our herd. And I only had Pol for eight years - she was my kids' first pony. My first pony is also buried in the field and I moved on from him to a wonderful horse who will also break my heart one day.

You need to keep strong and get into the mindset that if you do everything in your power to avoid them suffering unnecessarily, within reason and without losing sight of what is realistic, then you should only regret not being able to do the impossible, when that's what it comes to.

It sounds like he's your world and I know only too well how you feel. Awful beyond description. You do need to be there for him and help him not to suffer any more - if that's what he needs.

I have my fingers crossed for you.

x
 
HUGE Peddy hugs to you.... your boy is very lucky to have you, and you obviously are devoted to him... the £££ is the hardest, I'm still paying off several a HUGE 4-digit vets bill for P's 3 ops so I totally understand.. and echo Mrs M's sentiments... he wouldn't want you on your knees, you've given him a fanTABulous life, and what will be will be... if it's something that you all can manage, then you will, if not, then PLEASE know what a hugely wonderful life he has had with you, you'll know what to do when the results are through... OH sounds like he's trying to keep your 'happy-gene' flowing looking round for another friend for you, but only you know what you will and won't want to happen - I think I would be the same - you can't replace 'friends', but you can make new ones when the time is right - so nope, not over-reacting in any way! HUGE good luck hugs from Derbyshire xxx
 
good luck for monday hope all goes well i know how you feel that you dont want to go on i didnt want to be on this earth when i knew i was losing my girl but the only think that i kept on telling myself was that all my other animals need me as well!x
 
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