Etiquette for people viewing/showing a horse for purchase.

[Rachel_M]

It is quite clear that sellers and buyers often bang heads over what is correct, or suitable, when viewing or selling your horse.

As we saw with the "phrases that you hate" thread, sellers and buyers can do nothing right by some and forever tripping themselves up and not realising it.

So, here is a chance to lay out from both sides what you feel is the best way things should be done from the moment you pick up the phone to ring the seller, to going to view the horse to honouring gentlemen's agreements, etc.

Say what has irritated you before, when either selling or buying, but try to offer explanation why you didn't appreciate someones actions, etc.


I'll start the ball rolling.


I travelled all the way down from Lancs to the Cotswolds to view a horse. I had previously arranged the meeting in good time and hoped to make the most of the time down there. When I arrived, the seller had also asked another set of buyers there at the same time, which I personally thought was very rude, so I spent most of my time trying to jostle for attention to get my questions answered. Prior to coming down, I told the seller clearly that I would not put an offer in whilst I am down there but would call her the very next day, as I step back and weigh up the pros and cons and avoid making a snap decision. She understood this. So, after I manage to have a quick hack on the horse, I tell her that I do like her and I will call her tomorrow with my decision and sorting out vetting, etc which she agreed and I departed.

Even before I got back home, she had sold the horse to the other people. That really pissed me off, excuse the language. She understood I wouldn't say yeah or nay that day, I was first to arrange to meet the horse before those other people and she had been nothing but agreeable before I left to come back home. The thing that really got my goat was that I only found out that she had sold her when I had rung her the next day, to tell her I wanted her, and she hadn't even bothered to try and get in touch.

People will, undoubtedly, have different opinions on that but it left such a horrid taste in my mouth. Call me old school but where has standing by your word gone? As much as I understand wanting to sell your horse, at least have the decency to be upfront that you are not going to uphold your end.

I travelled all the way down there under this understanding and to show I was serious. Ah, well. Live and learn hey.

 

[itsme123]

I travelled almost 200 miles to see a pony, only to be phoned about 5 miles from destination to be told she'd just sold it. She'd said she had no-one else viewing it when I'd phoned before we left. She sold it to a couple in Wales, I'm in the midlands and she was on the east coast! !

as an ex seller (because i've sworn NEVER to do it again), all i ask is that you blummin well turn up and only arrange to come if you actually have the money to buy a horse! I *do not* do loans, or 'pay monthlies'. It's advertised at a price because I want REAL money for it.

 

[pixiebee]

tell me about it, I was going with my sister in law to look at a pony for her daughter, all excited that she may have finally found the right one! We waited nearly a week to go and look, then on the day the seller rung and asked if she could change the time to an hour later as she was running late. So off we went at agreed time, with sister in laws daughter all excited, only to find out she had just literally sold the pony as we got to the location! She had only gone and changed the time as she had viewers there!! We were told we would be the first to see it, needless to say one heartbroken child, one angry sister in law and one peed off me!

 

[Chestnut_filly14]

I've only ever viewed one horse and that went okay, didnt get it but not a "bad experience" thank goodness.

What annoys me about sellers is when they moan about buyers alot - it would defintely make me nervous to see a potential buy, and also VERY nervous at buying a horse I knew would be a challenge - even if I could cope with it, I would panic that the owner/seller would bitch about me later.

That I really hate. Yes I understand that some buyers are stupidly optimistic about their riding, but lots of people then buy/view horses that are maybe more suited to a novicey rider because they are worried about taking on a horse that would be more of a challenge.

I put that terribly, but I've having an argument with my mother so multi tasking.

Em
x

 

[Nepenthe]

I've bought a few horses, without trouble.
What I really hate, though, are adverts which say 'No timewasters'.
Do the vendors seriously expect me to commit to buying their animal unseen? And if I don't, regardless of it having three legs, one eye or whatever, then I am forever to be labelled a 'timewaster'?

 

[Abbeygale]

Talaith - I think the no timewasters really just with regards to people who arrange to go and see a horse when they have absolutely no intention of even being interested in it - i.e. too big / too small / out of price range / too young / too old etc. When I was selling my mare earlier this year I had several of these - and while of course I was happy to show them my mare and tell them all about her (I was after all wanting to sell her) it is a bit frustrating that after spending an hour or so with me showing them my mare's lovely paces / lovely temprement etc they turn around and say oh she's too small - when how big she is is on the bloody advert!!! Now I do also appreciate that there is a big 15.2 and a small 15.2 for example - but come on - my mare was 15.2hh TB - and it said that in the advert!!!!

(sorry rant over...

)

 

[Flame_]

It was rude of the sellers to arrange other viewers at the same time as you. I'm afraid I don't agree that she should have waited for you to make your mind up. If you want to dither/ride again/come back with instructors thats fine, but you have to accept that the horse could be snapped up by someone more decisive. Unless a deposit is down, possibly subject to vet, the horse is on the general market IMO.

I'm annoyed at the amount of miles I travelled to view unsound horses. One even had an infected leg and couldn't weight-bear. Apart from that one, and another woman who really annoyed me, you can't tell them. You have to say "erm, its not really what I'm looking for", when you mean "another that's bl**dy unlevel", knowing lots of other people are going to have their time and money wasted viewing it and that some less experienced person will end up buying the lame horse. Some of the sellers know but are hoping you don't, and some don't have a clue themselves.

 

[Flame_]

I'm always put off by ads that say "re-advertised due to time-wasters". It makes me think they spent a good amount of time trying it and found out what was wrong with it.

The "no time-wasters" comment also puts me off just because it screams attitude. If a shop advertised a product for sale but called all browsers "time-wasters" and told them to go away, they wouldn't stay open very long!

 

[Matafleur]

I have learnt from bitter experience about the horse being on the market until the deposit is down. In the past I have been too soft when I have liked people and they have told me they like the horse and taken it off the market only for the people to pull out. Fantastic

The thing that really annoys me is people bitching about my horse in my earshot! I recently showed my horse to someone and he went fabulously for me. The other perosn then got on and yacked him in the teeth a few times, flapped her legs and when my horse did a passable impression of a camel she told me he was very badly schooled!

I don't expect people to be able to ride him perfectly in five minutes but I'd like them to give him a chance!

 

[Abbeygale]

I do understand your comments about the timewasters - but from a sellers point of view - I keep my horses for fun for myself - and I work full time to keep them. When someone has arranged to come and view my horse and I have specifically left work early to get to the yard to show them the horse - and then they clearly have absolutly no interest in the horse - it is frustrating.

Surely only the most dumb sellers would expect that everyone that view the horse will want to buy it - but I don't think it is unreasonable for the horse you go to see to be at least in the price range / size / age for what you want.

Maybe I am just unreasonable for expecting other people to be reasonable??

 

[piaffe]

My biggest hate are people who read your advert which clearly states "Not suitable for a novice" then phone up wasting my time because they clearly ARE novices.

Or people who arrange to visit your horse and don't turn up.

That has happened to me TWICE in the past 2 weeks.

And, the people who comeand ride my horse and think they have the god given right to sock him in mouth, kick him in the ribs and haul him around the school when he is the lightest, most responsive ride in the whole world.....

 

[Rachel_M]

[ QUOTE ]
It was rude of the sellers to arrange other viewers at the same time as you. I'm afraid I don't agree that she should have waited for you to make your mind up. If you want to dither/ride again/come back with instructors thats fine, but you have to accept that the horse could be snapped up by someone more decisive. Unless a deposit is down, possibly subject to vet, the horse is on the general market IMO.


[/ QUOTE ]

Whilst I agree that sellers have the sell the horse, I am very honest that I will not be taken in by a snap decision and would not buy a horse of the cuff. I call it common sense. This case, I understand her wanting to sell her horse but the decent thing to do was to inform me if it had been sold or that other people were coming down as well. Then I might have organised to come down earlier for the weekend and made my decision earlier.

Why should I be rushed/pressured to buy a horse at first sight? I always insist people viewing the horses I have go away and think about it then come back to me.

I would feel awful if someone took on a 6 hour round trip to see my horse and I did that.

 

[hellspells]

I quite agree with you and will never be forced into a descion although I do generally know within a few mins of trying one whether I like it or not. On paper I fell in love with one and tried him last week - I rode like a muppet (I'd been a V all weekend and not on top form) but I knew that even if I had ridden properly I couldn't have done him justice, having two others that still need time. The seller understood this straight away.
Selling is a nightmare I try to avoid at all costs if I can too - it seems that for every one genuine buyer there are 2 'joy riders' and shifting through who is genuine and who isn't is so difficult. Generally the joy riders know exactly what the sellers want to hear - no wonder sellers can appear hostile at first.

 

[pinktiger]

[quote.

Even before I got back home, she had sold the horse to the other people. That really pissed me off, excuse the language. She understood I wouldn't say yeah or nay that day, I was first to arrange to meet the horse before those other people and she had been nothing but agreeable before I left to come back home. The thing that really got my goat was that I only found out that she had sold her when I had rung her the next day, to tell her I wanted her, and she hadn't even bothered to try and get in touch.



why should the seller wait for you to make a choice!!! Shes gonna sell to the first decent offer/rider that she feels is right!! not really sure what you Xpected her to do!!IMO,, like you said you live and learn!!

 

[Rachel_M]

I expect people to keep their word. She had the opportunity to tell me in good time the horse was sold but she didn't, that is the crux of it. I understand wanting to sell your horse but don't let me come all the way down to see the horse and not even bother to be able to phone me.

 

[Chestnut_filly14]

I agree with MHB that the lady should have rung you up or at least TRIED to make contact to inform you of the sale.

Em
x

 

[tye_bo]

[ QUOTE ]
I expect people to keep their word. She had the opportunity to tell me in good time the horse was sold but she didn't, that is the crux of it. I understand wanting to sell your horse but don't let me come all the way down to see the horse and not even bother to be able to phone me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry I tend to agree with the others on this - yes it was rude that she arranged other viewers to be there at the same time but I don't see how she broke her word to you? Yes she could have rung you but for all she knew she may have never heard from you again so I think you are taking it a bit personally? You are also right you can take a step back to make your decision but you can't expect her to hold off a sale. A bit different

but when we sold the car a few months ago the amount of people who arranged to come and view it then never turned up or viewed it, loved it and said they'd ring back when they'd had a think about then never did was tons!! I'm afraid I tend to take the view "you snooze you loose" in these matters.

 

[badgerdog]

I like to take my time when deciding to buy a horse (I took a few weeks over my last one!) but if someone came in the meantime and bought him I would have thought 'fair enough'. You can't expect people to wait for you to decide when they have someone waiting to hand over the money!
As for 'No timewasters', I think it's such a redundant statement. It's obvious that no one wants timewasters and I don't think by putting it in the advert would put timewasters off!
Also, people have different definitions of timewasters. I would think it would be someone who came and tried a horse out who had little intention of buying it, but someone accused me of being a timewaster because after trying a horse out a second time I decided I didn't want it. I don't buy horses very often, so when I do I take it seriously. I take my time over it as I want to make sure it's the right one. I would hate to buy a horse only to find after a few weeks it wasn't the one for me and then have to re-sell it.

 

[Rachel_M]

[ QUOTE ]


Sorry I tend to agree with the others on this - yes it was rude that she arranged other viewers to be there at the same time but I don't see how she broke her word to you? Yes she could have rung you but for all she knew she may have never heard from you again so I think you are taking it a bit personally? You are also right you can take a step back to make your decision but you can't expect her to hold off a sale.

[/ QUOTE ]


Her word was that she understood and knew I would not put a deposit and was prepared for that. There was 12 hours, about half a day in between the time I left her to when I called. Is that too much to ask from you?

 

[hairycob]

I've never sold but as a buyer I hate ads that are factually wrong e.g
Travelling miles to see a horse that is way smaller/taller than advertised.
We saw loads when we were looking earlier this year and we saw "ideal dressage/showing" that dished badly, "ideal for showing" with a humungous scar on it's bum.
I understand that horses will react/ride differently with different people so a lot of what you can put in an ad is subjective. And height can be measured differently at different times, but not over a whole hand. I'm 15.2 tall to the top of my head & we went to see a 16h that only came up to the tip of my nose! Travelled 100 miles to see that one.
I did learn to read between the lives & spot the killer question (the one that prompts the evasive answer) that saved quite a few wasted journeys. And I loved the few people who would ask me a lot about what we wanted to do & what stage son was at before saying that they thought horse was not right because he i kept stopping jumping/might be too slow/too whizzy. Funnily enough all of those were within 25 miles.
We decided a rule of thumb was the worse the journey to see a horse, the quicker we would realise it wasn't the one - until we did find "the one" after 3 hours stuck on a stationary motorway! The he failed vetting, but we still bought him anyway after long conversations with the vet & renegotiating the price.

 

[mintaka04]

Buying and selling horses is a nightmare, no doubt about that.
Unfortunately, the main thing that irritates me is almost impossible to prevent.
Namely, that people are dishonest/deluded/downright blind when it comes to their own horse/riding ability.

I found it best when buying to ask plenty questions and get a good photograph. Video was preferrable if the horse was a distance away.
Even at that, a lot of horses I saw were much smaller than stated and some younger/older than stated too.
It's a minefield, really.

I took weeks over deciding to buy the one that I've got. Thank God the vendor was genuine and didn't sell her out under my nose, which I know he would have been entitled to do.

It's a very difficult process. No easy answers, but I would agree with one of the OP main points. It was wrong of the vendor to arrange two people to view at the same time.

 

[Nic74]

Oh I could go on forever on this subject, having bought and sold several over the past 3 years.

As a buyer, I have arrived at yards to find the horse lame/shoe hanging on by one nail, no appropriate tack (horse ridden by very small person, stirrups way too narrow for my average size boot to fit through), I've turned up to find that the seller isn't even there and has left instructions for the yard to show me the horse ie get it out of the stable, but it is not to be ridden whilst she wasn't there!!

I've had people ring me about horses for sale or loan, and expect that as they are the first ones coming that they will get first refusal - no, it doesn't work like that, the ones who get my horses are the ones who are best matched, I don't take cash off the first people to throw it at me.
I advertised one horse as a hack, and explained to people who rang that he was quite stiff behind and I wouldn't like him to go to a home that would do alot of schooling or jumping etc, so why did people still come 200 miles when they knew they were looking for a serious event horse? For £1000 lol, don't make me laugh.
I've had people say 'too small' and I've had people say 'too big' which part of 16hh and 17hh did they not understand?
I had some people ring me and say they'd be with me in an hour. Fine. 3 hours later no show, so we went out. Half an hour later I get a call 'we're here, where are you?' since they had my number could they not have called and said they were running later than expected, no of course not. I told them to get lost.

I could go on and on.....

 

[Acolyte]

I am obviously an expert at describing my horses accurately when selling them

- I have only ever sold three horses, and they have all gone to the first person to come and try them

However to answer your question MHB - I would NEVER arrange for two lots of people to view a horse at the same time, that is bang out of order and is totally inappropriate.

If I had been the vendor though I would have accepted your point of view that you did not want to rush into making an offer etc, but I would have pointed out that I had others coming to view the horse and whoever made me an offer first would be given 'first refusal' for the purchase. At the end of the day they are looking to sell their horse, and cash in the hand is worth more than a possible offer the next day...

I would, however, have contacted you as soon as someone else had made an offer and would have told you that was the case

 

[Nic74]

Oh there is one other thing I wanted to say. I once went to look at a horse (when I was looking for my first own one) and I was asked to let them know one way or the other when I had made a decision. So as soon as I had decided that she wasn't the horse for me (the next day) I rang and said thanks for showing her to me but she wasn't quite right for me although she was lovely etc, and they were really abusive to me. Since then I haven't bothered ringing back sellers to let them know I am not interested.

 

[Rachel_M]

[ QUOTE ]
I am obviously an expert at describing my horses accurately when selling them

- I have only ever sold three horses, and they have all gone to the first person to come and try them

However to answer your question MHB - I would NEVER arrange for two lots of people to view a horse at the same time, that is bang out of order and is totally inappropriate.

If I had been the vendor though I would have accepted your point of view that you did not want to rush into making an offer etc, but I would have pointed out that I had others coming to view the horse and whoever made me an offer first would be given 'first refusal' for the purchase. At the end of the day they are looking to sell their horse, and cash in the hand is worth more than a possible offer the next day...

I would, however, have contacted you as soon as someone else had made an offer and would have told you that was the case

[/ QUOTE ]

You see, that is all I wanted

Sellers have to sell, you snooze you loose, the early bird catches the worm, I know and accept all that. It doesn't mean that people can't at least have some manners.

 

[Rachel_M]

[ QUOTE ]
So as soon as I had decided that she wasn't the horse for me (the next day) I rang and said thanks for showing her to me but she wasn't quite right for me although she was lovely etc, and they were really abusive to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

How nasty and uncalled for.

The thing is that there is a tendency for sellers to label someone a "time waster" if they come and try the horse and *dare* not like it.

When I have spoken to sellers or seen a horse, I always reply by either phone or email clearly saying whether or not I will continue or, if not, thank them for their time and wish the horse well.

 

[Smash]

[ QUOTE ]
So as soon as I had decided that she wasn't the horse for me (the next day) I rang and said thanks for showing her to me but she wasn't quite right for me although she was lovely etc, and they were really abusive to me. Since then I haven't bothered ringing back sellers to let them know I am not interested.

[/ QUOTE ]

Her reaction was completely uncalled for, but that's no reason to let your manners go out the window permanantly - the other owners of horses haven't done anything wrong, so why spread the lack of manners around? It just makes for more bad feeling between sellers and buyers.

I dislike 'POA' ads, owners who are completely unprepared when you ask to see them ride the horse first, 'snaffle mouth' horses not wearing snaffles and for some reason - not an annoyance as such, but bemusing - 'first to see will buy.'

 

[hollyandivy123]

i have been to see a horse which stated on the advert was a 15.1 hh show cob grey gelding, when i got there was a 16hh tb chestnut mare! work that one out, they had sold the grey in the morning so thought i my like the mare as i cob showing wasn't quite the same.

i went to one viewing transition horse for a friends daughter and ended up suggestion to the seller that they might wont to get a vet as the horse had a temperature and a massive infected shoulder and he had his head on the ground

 

[siennamum]

i had a super pony for sale and had a viewer in the morning who clearly liked the pony & got on very well with him. I also had a list of viewers - one of whom was chafing at the bit to see him, so I told viewer one that there woudl be other viewers in the afternoon.
He nonetheless said he would ring later & make his mind up. The other viewers set off on a 2 hour drive to see me & called when they were 10 minutes away to say so. Viewer no 1 rang back very excited - they definitely wanted pony ( he is q important & would get team vets & various folk involved in the purchase...)

I was in a complete quandry of course. Felt I had no choice though but to tell him that the 2nd set of viewers had to have the chance to see pony & get 1st refusal, simply as I hadn't the heart to have them arrive & be told the pony was sold.

They loved the pony & made and offer within 10 minutes of seeing him so I had to ring back viewer no.1 & say he couldn't have the pony...

He was gracious but obviously peed off. What can you do though!

 

[kerilli]

he faffed around and lost his chance, simple. good for you, being fair to the people who'd driven for 2 hours. i'd have done the same.