Even more devastated, if thats possible

W

Wan2bEventer

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6 November 2007
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Buckinghamshire
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We took Annie to have her xrays yesterday, and the results are not good. She has damaged her sixth lumbar vertibrae (it is sitting about two inches lower than it should be) which is the last vertibrae before her pelvis. This is putting a lot of pressure on her spinal cord, explaining her lack of correct movement behind and also her slowly decreasing ability to wee properly.

The chances of her ever taking a rider again are slim to none, and depending upon whether we can make her more comfortable or not over the coming days, we may have to make the decision to have her pts.

She is on anti inflamatory drugs and pain killers, in the hope that this could relieve some muscle spasms around the damaged vertibrae, thus releasing some of the pressure on her spinal cord. If this is successful, we may be able to get her to a stage where we can turn her away and see if she can recoup to the point where she could carry a foal. Unfortunately if we don't see any improvement in the next few days, then there is no quality of life to offer her any more and I have to act in her best interests.

I keep going round in circles, feeling just so so sad and crying my eyes out (mostly in public, highly embarrasing) - then cross that I was so ready to event this season and its been taken away from me - then guilty that I feel cross, because I should just be thinking about Annie not me - then just plain confused!

We have claimed loss of use and will be looking to replace my ride with the hope to still event this season. My coaches and instructors think it is important to keep my season plan and my aims for 2008, still aiming for all the events but just with another horse. It all feels so hopeless though, at the moment I don't have any faith that it will all work out.

I took my instructors horse to a riding club show on Sunday, having only sat on him for the first time on Saturday afternoon. We cleared up! Won both our prelim classes with 74.5% and 68.4% (the latter including two course errors - oops!). That has given me confidence that I can ride, and maybe I can still have a season with a different horse.

Sorry for the rambles, am just devastated and there is too much to think about. Am in work but can't concentrate!
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Devastated for you, such bad bad luck.
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I'm glad you are thinking about your horses welfare and you know to do the right thing should it come to it but it doesn't make the situation any easier to bear.
It is also nice that your instructor has let you compete her horse and that you did well, at least you get to ride and compete.
Big hugs for you ((((((((((())))))))))))))
 
I am really sorry that this turned out far worse than you had thought. Dont feel guilty about being cross - its only natural and you are obviously devastated that poor Annie is broken.
 
I am so sorry to hear your sad news... And you are understandably devastated.

I know all about the crying in public... my work computer is now saturated as I try and hide behind it so no one sees me blubbing away!
 
Thanks Folara you are right, I'm not cross at Annie, just at the misfortune of it all. I was so ready to do my first BE season this year, I'd progressed so much with my riding.

I can't believe we've gone from having the world at our fingertips, to losing her. Makes me feel silly for even thinking I could BE this year!
 
[ QUOTE ]
Thanks Folara you are right, I'm not cross at Annie, just at the misfortune of it all. I was so ready to do my first BE season this year, I'd progressed so much with my riding.

I can't believe we've gone from having the world at our fingertips, to losing her. Makes me feel silly for even thinking I could BE this year!

[/ QUOTE ]

And I know this feeling too... The anger at how unfair everything has turned out, the upset of being in this situation and pure confusion at why you ever thought you could achieve your goals!

You are not alone, so please PM me if you need a long moan or even an incoherrent babble.
 
That sounds difficult to know what to do.
I would be guided by your Vet and allow him to decide what quality of life is acceptable for her. I must say I would be wary of breeding from her with an injury such as this, the extra weight and effort of giving birth may be problematic.
Your plan of turning her away for a long period is definitely the best thing if she can become comfortable, it's surprising how really severe injuries do improve given time, most of the retired gang here are insurance wrote offs, yet you should see them on days like yesterday when they get access to the new grass, leaping bucking, yet all are supposed to be "unrideable " now.
I'll keep my fingers crossed and hope the drugs help her.
 
So sorry to hear the news. You are feeling what anyone would feel in the same situation I'm sure. But take small comfort in that you are putting her welfare first and have the strength to follow your feelings (and vet's advice) about her future. I'm sure you will all do what is best for her.
Another small comfort is that you at least have another horse to ride - I know it's not the same as your own.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
 
im so sorry, i know that whatever i say wont help the situation, but just thought i would offer you my thoughts and my fingers are still crossed for her
 
Thanks for all your lovely comments guys, it feels good to share a little bit and you all make me feel like I'm not alone
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The horse I competed on at the Riding Club show was just a one off offering - he's definately too big for me in the long run, and he's only for flatwork so couldn't really be an event ride. It was so very kind of him to lend me the horse though, and it made me realise that it isn't just Annie I can ride, but other horses too! Gave me a little confidence in my own ability I guess.
 
I know how you feel. My mare had an injury last season, now shes retired. We have chosen to keep her on painkillers when she needs them and she'll never be 100% sound. Try all the websites for a new horse and ask around. There wll be one for you!
 
What awful news, I really feel for you.
Know how you are feeling, OH and I were planning to start intro eventing this year, but both our horses have gone lame with serious conditions. Have also been bursting into tears at inopportune times so you're not the only one!
 
OMG - No wonder you are in bits getting such sad news! You are doing your best for Annie but you are bound to feel disappointed and upset. Sending good ((((( vibes))))))
 
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