Ever felt like giving up?? Ever felt like you weren't good enough?

Firewell

Firewell

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I'm feeling like this right now.

I feel like i've dedicated my whole life to horses, all my hopes and dreams are pinned on them. They are what I think of when I first wake up and the last thing i think of at night... and i'm pretty much getting sick of it, i'm getting sick of the wasted money and dreams just to end up exactly in the same place.
Im frightened i'm going to look back on my life when i'm 80 and see lots of experiences/opportuinites I *missed* due to being too involved with my horse. Lets face it, if you want to compete, no matter what level, you have to give all your spare time to it. Horses are a way of life aren't they.

However how can I give up something that i've spent every cell of my body obsessing over for the past 28 years?? Sometimes I think loving horses is a curse.

I can't afford a 'ready made horse'. I don't really want one... everyone elses 'ready made' horse isn't mine is it.. it will still do things that I would have trained MY horse to do differently. However training MY horse is not easy. I don't want a plaicid hairy cob, I want a quality, classy, competiton horse.. these come with 'spirit and personality', lets face it, something that i'm not going to be frustrated by is not a dullard. However i'm coming to the conclusion that maybe I do not have the skill to handle andd train the sort of horse I want. Therefore I may as well give up... because I dont want to hack round the lanes on a hairy.. I want to do the most perfect clear round on the sort of quality horse that makes people stop and stare. I don't neccessarily want to win.. I want it to be PERFECT and I want respect. I'd rather lose on the perfect double clear then win on 4 faults anyday.

I had a crap day at work today. I got to the yard and my horse was spooked before I even got him in by a hot air ballon near his field. I led him in and he was all spooky and jumpy. The combination of his field mate galloping around, loose dogs and people shouting made him rear up (not very big rear). Insead of being calm I pretty much got angry and made him 100% worse and he really panicked. I ended up dumping him in the stable and leaving before I made anything worse. I feel like i'm an idiot, I can't have a classy horse. I obviously do not have the patience or skill. I'm ruining him and I obviously need to sell him before his life is ruined by me. I'm never going to Badminton i'm a joke.

Spoke to my OH and he said if you haven't achieved what you want and you have tried for a while sometimes you have to face the fact... that maybe you are just not good enough.

Have you ever thought that? Ever wondered why everyone else has the better horse? Why does it always go wrong for you? Maybe it doesnt go wrong... maybe postive thinking breeds positive experiences and maybe I'm rubbish because I think I am, not because I actually am??? Or maybe I'm conning myself!

What makes you carry on when everything seems so rubbish???? Does anyone else have low points where you wonder what the hell you are doing?? How do you pick yourself up and carry on??
 
absolutely, im sure iv missed out on tons of life experiences due to being tied to the horses, but i just cant imagine life without them.

dont beat yourself up for losing it, you did the right thing by giving him a night of and not pushing the envelope when you were both already upset and tense.

you said it yourself-car day at work, tense horse in field, everything was against it being a relaxing evening so write it off and dont dwell on it.

you've turned a green ex racer in to a superb and very classy horse, id call that sucess :)


hugs xx
 
Thats rubbish, there would be lots of things we would give up if the was the case.
The beauty of having a horse and training it up yourself is putting the work in and you can't expect a horse to be perfect, nothing else is!
If a horse knocks a jump down at a competition you go home and school it over a similar jump etc etc and then give it another go and hope that your efforts have paid off.
I live and breathe horses and want to get out there and do so many things but i dont have the money and my horse is inexperienced and needs more work.
I keep thinking what is winter going to be like and will i be able to do anything with my horse if we get weather like we did last year but i intend to put in a lot of work, keep up regular lessons and then go and whoop some a*s next year.
I think the key is set the hurdles low and then work your way up.
it sounds as if you are having a bad day!
would you not wonder why you wasted all these years with horses if you gave up now? You only get one life and you have to make yourself happy.
just remember there are people out there that would love to be in your position but cant afford horses or don't have the time/experience etc.
think yourself lucky, chin up :-)
 
Poor old you, you've had a really bad day haven't you?! I can relate to most of what you have said, I have dedicated my life to horses and lost lots of other opportunities, have no real social life, no holidays, no nice new clothes and when things are going badly with your horse, you do wonder what the hell you are doing!
Yoiu have admitted you want a competition horse and the spark that comes with that; when you have a bad day at work, don't try and do anything with him apart from the basics, I have learned that through experience.......Try and find any bit of progress or good thing out of your time with him, even if it seems really insignificant.
Don't be so hard on yourself, you sound like a perfectionist? You have a young TB and you know that you have come a long way already.

Do you have lessons? I was completely stuck with my horse a few months ago so reluctantly changed instructors; it was a breath of fresh air and I felt I could ride again!

Don't despair, those 10% good times far outweigh the 90% difficult times, honestly!
 
Because if you dont believe in yourself you cant expect anyone else too!

Seriously though i feel like you nearly everyday at the moment, i dont know if you remember me losing my mare a few months ago when she had a tragic accident and stood on a nail while jumping in an arena but it was all just coming together for us after 3 and a half hard years work it was taken in an instant. It left me thinking would i do it all again if i had known what would happen?? yes yes yes!! and i would have done it better! i did at first think i am giving up i am not supposed to be able to do this but then i had a few months with out a horse and rode others perfect horses and do you know what? i wantedmy mare even more even her on a bad day because she was mine and i loved her.

Think about what you would do if someone came and told you you werent allowed your horse? i would fight to the death for mine. I have only had my new boy for a month and a day and he injured his leg the day after his first BS outing with me where we nearly got placed but were on a ticket, i was on a high and planning our next outings when i came up on monday night to find a huge slash out of his back leg, nearly to the bone. He is just home from horsepital and i am sick with worry (not to mention £1000 worse off!) and i am just praying he gets better and OH doesnt get it, he thinks i care too much and its all a wierd thing to be so involved with something that doesnt talk!

But do you know what i think i think tis all part of owning a horse, highs and lows. Sure the lows are really pissing me off at the moment but hopefully some highs will be on there way soon and for you too :)

Soooo heres a big hand up back onto your feet, a big huge bar of chocolate and a glass of wine! Put today behind you and do something easy and fun with your horse tomorrow, be thankful he is fit and well and take a bit longer to spend time just enjoying him, i think we all put ourselves under too much pressure. oh and one last thing pick you idol and kid on you are them everytime you enter the yard! cheesy but helps me!

Sorry if all that is lot of rubbish, hope you feel better soon, love your pony i think he is gorgeous and you have done well with him! :)
 
Yep! all the time! I bought my lad as a 5yr old hes now 11, everytime we get to the stage of moving up a level (ok we're still at prelim/novice dressage and 80cm event, hoped to move up to elementary and 90s end of this season, working elem/med at home) he gets sick or injured and unfortunately has a brain that when he comes back into work after a few months off has to go right back to basics as everything is just too exciting!
Our last comp was 7wks ago he was brilliant, got a 1st and 2nd hoped to event him wk after and he now has bronchiolitis, but problems started day after last comp :( (nothing contagious!) just feel like i keep getting kicked in the teeth!

So rant over *hugs* its sh** but thats why we do it, because when we do achieve things its so much better! :D

ETA sorry for ranting on on your post! I'm sure you're not rubbish, and I had a friend who sold her youngster who was excitable for a dressage schoolmaster, depressing but when my walk pirrouettes are better than hers I have this little dance inside!! :D because some days it works out!!!!!

Remember the days that it does work out! Not the write offs!!!!
xxx
 
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I think you have to love the journey. You have to be able say "I love my life with horses, I love every second I spend with them, a shitty day with the horses is better than a good day doing anything else" kind of thing.
expecting it to be perfect... Impossible. sorry, you're setting the bar waaay too high for anything involving an animal! also, perfectionists tend to give up... because they can't take the disappointments. i know of a few who used to event, who were better than me, but gave up. Look at some of the performances we've seen. I saw WFP win a 4* (i think it was Burghley, could have been Badders) on Tam one year on a very ropey sj round, somehow he held it together but it was not a perfect round in anyone's book!
i think you have to be able to enjoy all the little victories. your boy was daft today but he DIDN'T try to jump on your head, he didn't try to kick you.
This bit's very memememe but I hope it illustrates how I cope with the gutting disappointments!
I get a real kick out of a tiny improvement. I got a huge kick out of hearing that a 4 yr old pony I helped train this summer is going beautifully for her owner near here, that the rider is amazed at the way the mare leg yields beautifully and listens to the leg aids immediately "like a real dressage horse". that is as good as a red rosette in my rather pathetic little world at the moment!
Yep, it's a really really tough game. It's an addiction, in a way. For every rider at top level, I bet there are literally thousands of us sitting there thinking "if I could find a horse that good..."
hope that helps a bit. you're not alone in feeling like this sometimes.
 
Yep sounds like you've just had a bad day to me, have a choccy or wine or something you like and have an early night.
Everyone has days like that. BUT you learned something new today about yourself/your horse. You just need to work out what you have learned from your negative experience and that way you turn it into a positive one.
You need to take your focus off the big picture and focus on the steps you need to take to get there, and then celebrate each little step as a personal success. You'll reach your goal feeling positive and having enjoyed yourself along the way.

One thing my horse has taught me is that this is ALL about the journey!
 
You've had a bad day hun - we've all been there.

I think kerillis right about perfection - i dont think it happens with horses. Ever. Badminton is rarely won on perfect rounds, its won on grit and determination. You have to enjoy the progress and the little milestones as much as the big days out.

Hope you feel better about things soon.
 
kerilli said:
I think you have to love the journey. You have to be able say "I love my life with horses, I love every second I spend with them, a shitty day with the horses is better than a good day doing anything else" kind of thing.
expecting it to be perfect... Impossible. sorry, you're setting the bar waaay too high for anything involving an animal! also, perfectionists tend to give up... because they can't take the disappointments. i know of a few who used to event, who were better than me, but gave up. Look at some of the performances we've seen. I saw WFP win a 4* (i think it was Burghley, could have been Badders) on Tam one year on a very ropey sj round, somehow he held it together but it was not a perfect round in anyone's book!
i think you have to be able to enjoy all the little victories. your boy was daft today but he DIDN'T try to jump on your head, he didn't try to kick you.
This bit's very memememe but I hope it illustrates how I cope with the gutting disappointments!
I get a real kick out of a tiny improvement. I got a huge kick out of hearing that a 4 yr old pony I helped train this summer is going beautifully for her owner near here, that the rider is amazed at the way the mare leg yields beautifully and listens to the leg aids immediately "like a real dressage horse". that is as good as a red rosette in my rather pathetic little world at the moment!
Yep, it's a really really tough game. It's an addiction, in a way. For every rider at top level, I bet there are literally thousands of us sitting there thinking "if I could find a horse that good..."
hope that helps a bit. you're not alone in feeling like this sometimes.
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Agree with everything above. I have had some real lows with my old horse - ex-racehorse who found dressage either boring or stressful, showjumping sometimes stressful, and xc the best thing ever all the time. Unfortunately we regularly didn't make it to xc because he blew his brain in the sj but I kept going because he had all the ability and one a good day made it all worthwhile.

Last year a new horse came my way (I wasn't looking, and he wasn't my type, but....) so accidently bought a 'ready made' horse.

Weirdly the day I had a double clear at intro on my old horse meant more to me than winning our section (at our second horse trial) on my new horse!! He is not perfect - has dumped me twice this year at ditches when we were well up (leading our section by 6 points at one event - grrrr). However, have had a brilliant season and it has meant that I can now hopefully go up to novice or more eventually. I'm really enjoying pushing myself further than I thought I could go, because up til now I felt I wasn't good enough.

Would love to bring another one on from scratch (old ex-racehorse was 11 when I got him so rather set in his ways) but need to look at it for future as I keep my horses at home and have no school so things are not as easy as they could be.

Bad days at work tend to spill over into our personal lives - we either have to put it to the back of our minds and enjoy our horses or give them the day off if we feel really hacked off. Luckily my new horse is a bit too confident for his own good and doesn't really pick up on my moods (guess what, he's not a TB!!) while my old horse is far too sensitive. If I've had a shitty day I either don't ride or go for a chilled out hack - it cheers me up and horse is happy (he likes the easy life!!)
 
A wise old bird once said to me that 'unhappiness comes from having unrealistic expectations'. You've had a bad day, you have a young horse - if it isn't perfect, then that's ok, you know ;) Don't make yourself miserable by wanting everything perfect immediately and don't invest a lot of your sense of self in how other people see your horse - that way lies disappointment. Write it off as a bad day, we all have them.
 
I think horses are either in your life/ blood or not.
My sister and I both rode from being tiny tots with the same opportunities.
I have barely had a time in my life without horses since - she sold her last horse when she went to Uni and never had another.
I have not missed out on anything through having horses. I went to college, got a professional qualification and career, married, had children. You can still fit it all in :)
Still it comes with sacrifices - I have missed many a night out (or stayed sober:eek:) so I can get up to compete first thing. Sometimes they took a back seat - I did not compete for 9 years but still had at least 2 horses to ride.
And yes sometimes I have had utterly awful days :( but the truly awful ones have been when I lost a horse not a competition or a bad day.
I have adored tricky ex racers that other people might have shot but for me when I had a good day they more than made up for that and I will treasure it for ever. My horse that cost peanuts stood in Newcomers or Foxhunter line up with a horse on the market for 100 grand :cool: and just the feeling he gave me when it all went right :D
I could not be without them in one way or another!
 
Thank you all so much, every reply I found worthwhile, and I do feel a lot more reflective and better about everything (nothing to do with the bottle of wine and 6 kitkats lol!!)

I suppose I just felt rubbish because I couldn't even bring my horse in from the field without ****ing it up, let alone competing. On Sat I went to a RC SJ clinic, it went really well and horse jumped everything, he was SO bold, despite being a bit over enthusiastic and throwing in a few leaps!! Old PC DC said 'well done, its a big thing bringing on a young horse like that'. I guess it just made me feel a bit rubbish because mine wasn't the only young horse... there were 2 other young horses in my group.. yet of course the crazy one that everyone notices is my horse..... why is mine the crazy one??? He's not 'crazy', he has no issues, i'ts just me.... the horse I have is always the one leaping around :( It's always me hanging on to 'ooohs and ahhh's'.. therefore it must be me making my horses this way :(.

Then when he spaked out leading in today and I told him off and he got worse and worse, I just feel its me :(

Maybe I am just too much of a perfectionist and I take everyuthing that happens too much too heart and blow it our of proportion. Poor horse... imagine having to cope with neurotic me!!!

I think I need to remember 'he who dares wins'... not 'he who trys but worrys about everything' lol.
 
DarkHorseB said:
My horse that cost peanuts stood in Newcomers or Foxhunter line up with a horse on the market for 100 grand :cool: and just the feeling he gave me when it all went right :D
I could not be without them in one way or another!
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See thats wonderful, thats what I want :) x
 
Meant to say I have a full time job, starting up a small business and have 3 horses - probably trying to do too much but if I didn't have the horses I would be bored, and probably about 4 stone heavier!! One is 18yo and semi retired (but still bouncing), one 9yo and full retired due to injury and one 9yo eventing at PN.

I love having them at home and don't know what I would do without them - agree with DHB in that it's either there or it's not. You have to take pleasure in the small things - that's what I was trying to say about the double clear on my old horse as he was quirky. Also he cost me £300 so owes me nowt, and taught me loads!! Many people thought he was a 5yo when he was 13, and told me he would go dvanced (and he would have if a good rider had got him a few years earlier - he had so much scope).

I do love competing but as I've had a busy eventing season this summer I'm enjoying a few weeks of hacking/lazy time before we buckle down to serious winter BD/BS/training regime.

Maybe you just need to take a step back and appreciate what you've got, and take the pressure off - your horse is young and you have so much time to improve and compete successfully.
 
firewell said:
Have you ever thought that? Ever wondered why everyone else has the better horse? Why does it always go wrong for you? Maybe it doesnt go wrong... maybe postive thinking breeds positive experiences and maybe I'm rubbish because I think I am, not because I actually am??? Or maybe I'm conning myself!

What makes you carry on when everything seems so rubbish???? Does anyone else have low points where you wonder what the hell you are doing?? How do you pick yourself up and carry on??
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I am the worlds worse at putting myself down. I can find holes in everything i do and never feel im good enough or as good as others. I think that my horse is wasted, that we are never going to jump the height he is so capable of and i should be doing this that and the other with him BUT i still carry on. I have had days when i thought enough is enough but my oh said to me that wasnt the same person with out a horse. It is just who i am.
No matter how crap it gets and how bad i think i am i will keep working on it so i can turn around and say i did it. I am not content to be a happy hacker, its not for me, i live to compete not because i want to win or even be perfect but because i like the focus, its what i enjoy doing.

Dont think you have missed out, look at what you have gained, i have some fab friends that i prob wouldnt know if it wasnt for horses. I have travelled, had some very good nights out but i have also budgeted to within an inch of my life, gone with out luxuries and had the most special bond with my old mare and i wouldnt change a thing.

It really isnt rubbish, you need to take a step back and look at everything you have done so far and feel proud of it. You boy goes better than mine so thats a start! :D I know you want to be perfect but horses very rearly allow us the opitunity and as much as its hard you really can beat yourself up over it. I worry to much about what other people think and it will hold you back, i have just started to get over this and it really does make a difference to the way i ride and my attitude towards it all.

Right it off as a bad day and start again tomorrow. Besides perfection takes a very, very long time dont right yourself off yet ;)
 
Firewall so many things you have said ring true to me :( I suffer a lot with low confidence in my ability. So much so that I very nearly didn't buy my new horse at the weekend as I was riding him for the first few minutes thinking 'this horse is far too good for me and I would ruin him if i took him on'. I said all this to the guy showing the horse and he told me to stop being so ridiculous and just enjoy him. He was very complimentary about my riding and I'll be honest that the video looks far better than it felt (but no way would I post it on here for fear of being slated).

I've really ranted a bit there but what I'm trying to say is that you aren't as bad as you think you are, you're doing a great job but you've had a crap day.. These things happen. But chin up - virtual kick up the bum delivered : D
 
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a quote that keeps me going through the rough days is this
'success means NEVER giving up' - isabell werth!
i too am a perfectionist and let everyting get to me. But i love my horses and love learning and doing everything better and bigger and improving all the time.
Im in a professional job and it does not push nor excite me in any way shape or form as much as my riding does.
Horses are my life and they give me a lot more pleasure than most things thats for sure and I know your the same. We ALL HAVE **** DAYS!!!
Look at phillippe le jeune the new sj world champ at weg- i actually cried. he represents never giving up for me even though you dont have the horse at that time, too much work, horse taking longer to school than originally thought etc etc. just never give up because that is when you have failed.
xx:D
 
firewell said:
On Sat I went to a RC SJ clinic, it went really well and horse jumped everything, he was SO bold, despite being a bit over enthusiastic and throwing in a few leaps!! Old PC DC said 'well done, its a big thing bringing on a young horse like that'. I guess it just made me feel a bit rubbish because mine wasn't the only young horse... there were 2 other young horses in my group.. yet of course the crazy one that everyone notices is my horse..... why is mine the crazy one??? He's not 'crazy', he has no issues, i'ts just me.... the horse I have is always the one leaping around :( It's always me hanging on to 'ooohs and ahhh's'.. therefore it must be me making my horses this way
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In the winter I used to take my old horse to a local riding school mid week and fitted in with whatever lesson was going just so he would get ridden - it's amazing how many people think your horse is a psycho!! He was a bit exuberant about jumping because he loved it (and jumps were a bit on the small side sometimes considering he had jumped over Gold Cup steeplechase fences) but he was never unsafe. Unfortunately he got a bit of a reputation (this school doesn't like TB's but owner did like my old boy's attitude and as he'd evented to a decent level knew he was OK). I used to find it really funny because I knew he was the safest horse I've ever sat on.

You just need to not take these peoples comments personally - they don't know your horse so they don't know what they are talking about! I remember telling one of the staff that I'd taking him hunting and her response was 'OMG, You've only just found your brakes!'
 
Ah, young horses. I remember my horse as a 3/4 year old. Once I was at the yard alone at night and he was on fire with misbehaving. He broke the cross ties a million times, kept spinning around and pinning me to the wall. Real never-in-a-million-years-is-this-ok type stuff. He then spooked at the wall (yup, proud mother moment there :rolleyes: ) and smacked me so hard. I thought I was going to kill him, so I left him in the cross ties, closed the door to the barn and sat on a rock and cried and cried and cried. Came back into the barn to find him loose and eating the stabled horses' breakfasts :mad: . Fast forward to today and he's actually quite ok to manage and he is just the most fun horse to ride. He turned 7 and somebody flipped the switch in his brain and he became a horse. Literally, one day he was a monster, the next day he was just stupid :p. Nothing to do with me being a bad handler/rider, it was just that he grew up.

What got me through the tough times? I had a taste of success with my last horse and I want that again. I'm not talented, by any means, I can't even see a stride naturally, but through hard work and obviously my parents' financial and emotional backing for which I'll be forever grateful I went from being scared of cavalettis to competing 1.20m classes well. And I'm also a perfectionist, so for me to be happy with the way I was riding is a big thing. I'm glad I stuck with my horse too, because I've had the opportunity to see him grow up to be that wow horse. People smile when they see him jump, even those gruff old men ;) , and you can bet that I have a grin on my face too. I'm now being held back by my financial limitations. I'm watching my horses growing older every day and I know they'll be well into their teens before I can afford to compete the way I want to. :( But they've already given me a wealth of experience which I can use with the next generation of horses.

I'm not a believer that a ready made horse necessarily lessens the satisfaction. But having that memory of sitting on that rock crying makes my worst of days now seem like a walk in the park. I think back to that night and I laugh. And you'll think back to having a hot air balloon near the paddock and that baby rear and it'll give you a chuckle too one day.
 
Firewell, I can completely sympathise, as I used to go through stages like this ALL the time. I am going through a bit of a "wheres my life going" thing at the moment, but tbh know I could never be without horses...

The main thing (and I think what is the underlying thing in this) is STOP worrying what everyone else thinks. SO WHAT if he was a bit exhuberant in a RC session, you were pleased with how he went, and will carry on going over and above what the other horses in the group will do, I will bet!

My instructor said to me on Sunday "Don't get disheartened by the small things, focus on the whole journey. The horses that are easy all the way from the beginning will more than likely fall by the wayside and hit their limit a lot quicker than the more talented ones. The ones which have a bit of a spirit will always be the ones that people notice when they're older, but never envy when they're younger!" She should know, having had a horse she has just won a big championship on, but who hasn't been without her quirks :D

Appearances aren't always what they seem, so don't get bogged down by what everyone else seems to be doing :D Enjoy what you;ve got, and the progress you make :) If you no longer enjoy it, then maybe it is time to take time out... but I don't think thats what you really want ;)
 
I know exactly how you feel. Write it off as a bad day and allow yourself that. Have a big glass of wine or maybe even two and go easy on yourself for a few days. You are allowed to feel like this, it's fine!

Once horses are in your system, however bad it gets, it is very hard to walk away. I tried! Life just wasn't the same. You will feel totally different in a few days
 
Hi Firewell... maybe we could get together, I know you live quite near to me! Honestly riding out with me and my nutter, you will feel like Mary King on Apache Sauce!! Its such a hard journey, I have been exactly where you are on several occassions and still have them! I have been offered a lift to Quob for the uaff sj on Sunday but Ijust dont think Ill be able to face it due to crap me and crap training of nutty pony :( But I will get over it :D I love her and I love having a horse that is a challenge. Step back and look how far you have come. I watched your videos the other day and I was very very jealous :) Please can we swap? x
 
Chin up love, you had a bad day yesterday, and a bad day coupled with a youngster is not a good combination. We all get them, we just have to grit our teeth and get on with it. I suspect today wont be anything like as bad - trust me, I am considerabley older than your 28 years, I do know!

The trouble is we are all obssessed with 'Perfection' and I've been through that hard lesson with horses and am now pretty content with my lot. (well in the horsey sense of the word) They are animals at the end of the day and unpredictable as well. Its all too easy to look at others and think they are having a better time of it - if you ever meet Mini TX she will tell you all about her experiences and those of a good friend in their quest for 'Perfection'.

Be proud of yourself and what you have achieved. I also dont know anyone who is involved with horses who does not feel that because of that involvement and dare I say it obssession that their lives have been unaffected. I know for me personally if I did not have horses and be involved in horsey stuff that although I would be much richer financially, my life as a whole would be so much poorer. You are far too young to have regrets, be proud of yourself and your achievements, keep your chin up and remember it will get better.
 
KatB said:
My instructor said to me on Sunday "Don't get disheartened by the small things, focus on the whole journey. The horses that are easy all the way from the beginning will more than likely fall by the wayside and hit their limit a lot quicker than the more talented ones. The ones which have a bit of a spirit will always be the ones that people notice when they're older, but never envy when they're younger!" She should know, having had a horse she has just won a big championship on, but who hasn't been without her quirks :D
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Ahh pants that me stuffed then ;)

In a way i do agree with this, ive had a couple of shared lessons and felt that i was over looked to a point as mine got on and did without any really fuss. If he didnt know how to do it, he did by the 3rd time of asking, i was making more mistakes than he was :rolleyes:. Im happy with that to a point but you dont always feel like your learning, you need it to go wrong sometimes to learn from it and move on.
 
vam said:
Ahh pants that me stuffed then ;)

In a way i do agree with this, ive had a couple of shared lessons and felt that i was over looked to a point as mine got on and did without any really fuss. If he didnt know how to do it, he did by the 3rd time of asking, i was making more mistakes than he was :rolleyes:. Im happy with that to a point but you dont always feel like your learning, you need it to go wrong sometimes to learn from it and move on.
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The thing is it is so open to interpretation...but on a more broad basis, don't envy what others have got, as you don't know what it's taken to get there, nor are you ever going to know the full story :D
 
Thank you all for your wonderful replies. I feel much better this morning, mainly due to all you lot :)

I know that everyone has bad days with their horses, no horse is ever perfect, even the safest cob can make someone cry. I just felt so awful last night. Its my fault really, my day at work had pretty much made me feel rock bottom.

I do think what would I do if I didnt have horses? I'd have more money to spend on hair and nails and handbags and I would go on more holidays I guess. Maybe I would have a high flying career and be a city woman. In reality I would probably get really fat, depressed and bored!

Indiapony - I'm meant to be going to Merrist Wood this Sunday to do a small unaff class on my young horse. A lady at my yard took great delight in telling me that there are going to be 'hundreds and hundreds' of kids in it, including her 8yr old daughter! I thought great thats' me flying around the warm up arena then hanging on for dear life. I hope these kiddies are quick at moving out the way!!! The class is the last thing on my mind, i'll be fine as soon as i'm out the warm up ;). He's brilliant in dressage warm ups but horses galloping around jumping close to him is still a little much.

I think It doesnt help that I went to hell and back with my old horse when she was a youngster. Last night would have been typical of most nights with her. I had just got her to the lovely age of 8/9 and she was so established and wonderful in every way and then she died :(. So i'm just having to go back through it all again. Im lucky really my young'un can be super sharp but hes generally very straightforward. I just hope i'm good enough for him and can see him through.
 
Firewell - aw glad we can all help. However, you can have a high powered career and horses - for those of you who know what I actually do for a job, it can be done, but yes, there are sacrifices, mainly of the OH variety, as business and horses and Mini TX come a fairly even first all around. You dont have to be a city high flyer to have a great job - mine is rural based and yes, its a high flying job. To make you feel even better my safe cob dumped me last night in the arena. He took great umbridge at the horses in the field next door to the arena actually being there. Took off, bucked for england and dumped me in the middle of the arena. Yes I was wearing a hat and its not far to fall from 14.3hh, but it hurt. I am ok though. He is 17 years old and normally pretty sensible, so they all can turn if they want to.

Reckon a nice big bar of choccie might in order this afternoon, dont you?
 
Sorry you have had a bad day. Horses are pain in the arse and when I meet new people and they say "oh you like horses?" half the time I reply that no I hate the ****s!

Everyday they annoy me! but the thought if giving them up is too much to bear.I wouldn't be without them. I do think I have missed out on some things but after two years of battles with this one horse it has finally started to go right and now I'm injured and out for 3mnths of no riding!!

As one of my friends and mentors says "its character building"
 
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