Ever had a horse you just didn't 'click' with for no apparent reason?

I once had the most beautiful dressage schoolmistress on loan for a short period of time as I really wanted to expand my dressage knowledge and training.

Trialling her at her owner's yard went wonderfully - her owner even said that I had her going beautifully and how lovely she was moving. Signed all the paperwork, got everything sorted at my end and got her home a week later.
Gave her a few days to settle as she was at a new yard and then had a lesson with my instructor. I'd spent the last week telling my instructor how I rode my first extended walk and extended trot when trialling her, how light in the bridle she was and how in general she will be the horse to really set my dressage training on fire.
You guessed it - lesson went absolutely rubbish and every single ride after that went rubbish. I put the month of rubbish lessons/rides down to the fact that we were still gelling and all partnerships have issues, but sadly I just never really clicked with the mare and she returned to her owner just shy of 2 months. Proper broke my heart as I adored the bones of her and truly thought I'd found my partner but it appears it wasn't to be. Her owner got on board when she returned home and she schooled beautifully, and her owner popped a friend on and the mare again schooled beautifully. Her owner was so lovely and made it abundantly clear that my riding was nothing to do with the issue - just that some horses don't click with the rider for whatever reason.
 
I'm still trying to figure out if I click with one of my shares. He's a one-in-a-million unicorn, who will carry a beginner with exquisite care, and offer a bit more for someone experienced, etc, but... I've always found him a very boring ride when I did the occasional ride on him over the past few years, and now have started riding him regularly this year. He's a naturally very laid back/"lazy" horse who would prefer not to work (he literally whickers his thanks when you get off), and his owner has him VERY well trained in the western "shut down" style of slow gaits and never moving a foot without the handler's permission... while I strongly prefer a horse with a motor and his own opinions!

I think it's to soon to tell if we click, though - he was just starting to open up a bit with me, when we hit the snag of his pasturemate getting incredibly herdbound, and we haven't really been able to do much more than go up and down the driveway in a couple of months. We're slowly starting to do more again, and I finally feel like we're starting to work "together" a bit more.

Not sure I'll ever really love him, though, even if we end up working together ok: he's a slightly-too-tall-for-my-taste coloured quarter horse, and I don't like colour or even a lot of white. And he's prone to niggling skin issues, and has tender soles, and he's just... too willing to please. I really prefer a horse where I have to prove myself before they're willing to work with me!
 
In contrast I think not every person is for every horse! My gelding who is usually very person oriented - best friend if you’ve got food. Will give anyone cuddles. Yet he just doesn’t really much bother with my sister, he all but rolls his eyes when he sees her “ oh her AGAIN” and it’s not for lack of trying with food etc and he’s never nasty or objectionable for her just disinterested in her.
Yet she has an excellent bond with the horses she volunteers with so it’s not her.
My husband has the opposite issue - my mare has decided she loves him. He doesn’t come to the yard very often, and isn’t a horse person. He started getting lessons when I got Mary because he used to be really frightened of horses and he wanted to get over the fear in case I needed help. He’s certainly done that!

But for some reason, whenever he’s there she just attaches herself to him. If he accompanies us on a hack on a bike, she will treat him like another horse in front and want to stay close, and the head goes down and ears back like he’s the leader. When I do it for him riding her, she doesn’t give a shit about me.

Equally if he’s milling about whilst I’m grooming her or something in the stable, she’s at the door watching him and whinnies for him if she can’t see him or whickers at him when he comes back.

I do not get this if he’s in the stable with her.

We’re good pals and she goes well for me and everything, and I adore her, but she made it quite clear she likes him better.
I once tried a horse who didn’t gel with me. He went nicely for the dealer on the flat and over jumps. I got on and he wouldn’t move. I don’t think I’m the best rider ever but I’ve never failed to get a horse into walk before. He did nothing nasty - he just wouldn’t move. I only used my legs and voice, I wasn’t going to beat him. After a couple of minutes I had to laugh, give him a pat and say, he thinks I’m not for him.

I’ve had a few of those! Two or three horses I tried out in my younger years but one I tried when looking for Mary - went nicely for the owner, and I got on and it was just trying to run out from underneath me. Nothing I did settled this horse. It was so bizarre.
 
I had a Grade B SJ as my first 'real' horse, he was amazing, I could jump anything on him, the confidence I got was amazing. He was 14 when he was PTS after suffering an appalling accident on a fun ride. So it was always going to be hard to find something like him again.

I went onto to have an ISH and I had issues with him almost straight away. Mikki was the total opposite of the first horse. He was moody, used to pin me against the wall. He was lazy, uncooperative and used to spin most of the time. Got all the usual checks done, nothing found.

He was a very dominant type and hated SJ and dressage or schooling, but came alive on a XC course. Best ride I've ever had on a horse in my life was on him at Offchurch doing a fun ride, he just ate the XC fences, just jumped them all out of his stride, he was incredible. He just had no interest in anything else unless it involved galloping or jumping fixed obstacles. Interestingly his Mum was a hunter and his Dad a famous racehorse called Senang Haiti. So I guess a lot of it was nature not nurture.

I wanted to sell him, Mum told me to wait until the spring and then he lost his life with a broken leg in the November. Very sad.

Shame, he was a nice horse for someone, but it wasn't me and we just never gelled. There's nothing wrong with admitting defeat. Life's too short and horses cost too much to stick with something you really dont gell with.
 

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I don’t tend to get that instant “click” that a lot of people get tbh so it’s a weird one.

I tend to realise a few years down the line 😂😂

The Irish coblet was a “you must have either one or the other of theses ponies & btw the other one is on the verge of being too small” situation which isn’t the ideal starting point! (I preferred the other pony!) We did get there in the end despite some teething issues due to him being far more forward than anything else I’d ever sat on and a tendency to get strong when jumping.

It took me a while to click with the ginger Welshie because he didn’t behave in the most endearing manner to begin with as he was massively not coping with the change of owner and then went lame. When he realised he couldn’t live in pony paradise at Rockley with Nic forever he begrudgingly decided that I’d do as second best and that we could bond over his rehab. My stubbornness was eventually rewarded and once properly on side he was an awesome little horse.

As for the Fuzzball whilst I’ve always clicked on the ground with him (apart from the broken finger & concussion incidents!) I never fully clicked ridden with him, possibly due to how stop start everything was / possibly due to me not enjoying having to use stronger aids than I really wanted to a fair amount of the time. (In hindsight I think even when he appeared “good” / “ok” he was still struggling to some degree and a lot of things I put down to him being young / unbalanced weren’t normal).
 
Yes- I've found generally I have a 'type'- most Welsh/ Welsh X I get on with, most TB/TB X I don't. Not that there's anything wrong with either breed/type, but I can read welshies and not tbs.
I've had some good lessons from the ones I can't read, as I have to work more academically rather than relying on instinct, but I wouldn't choose one for a long-term riding horse.
The Welsh sec D I immediately felt "at home" when I sat on her, small pony on the other hand was a bit of a closed book. Both I backed, TBH small pony offered less dramatics when ridden, but she's not one I would have chosen to keep riding, even if keeping my weight down wasn't an issue. She is, on the other hand, a cracking pony for a neighbour's child- good as gold ridden and far more rapport there and on the ground than I've ever had with her.
Perhaps interestingly, I wouldn't have bought small pony if I'd met her beforehand (lockdown purchase), but she's taught me a great deal that I had previously been able to ignore as I didn't need to really know the theory before- I could go on feel alone.
ETA obviously Welsh/TB aren't the only options, but they're the only breeds I have enough experience of to have formed a strong opinion on!
 
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Yes, just about every one I've had since my heart horse died (which was 8 years ago now) for various reasons. The best fits were a couple of loans that went back, one the owner wanted back after her other horse died, the other I stupidly handed back when I bought something I thought would suit better but turned out to be a git. Have tried to get this boy back but have failed, when he was available I didn't have space, when I did, he wasn't available. He can be tricky so his loans have often not worked out but he seemed to like it with us and I had learned to manage his quirks. The other one I clicked with was the horse belonging to the person I shared the yard with for a couple of years, huge but I felt totally safe on him. Current horse is a sweet pet and a darling to do but not what I want under saddle and I'm sick of losing money on them, just trying to find something that should suit me on paper would take stumping up several grand and I'm just not prepared to risk that, I'd be better off spending it on a new kitchen!
 
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