chotty
Well-Known Member
As title suggests really...
I have a friend - who I would honestly class as a friend, at my yard. We moved there together over a year ago, she helped me out a lot with my old horse when I had exams and dissertation and didn't have the time to go see to him every day, so I am truly grateful to have her.
I have recently (January) bought a new horse, who is my lovely little confidence giving mare. I am an extremely nervous rider due to many reasons, and now I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere, albeit slowly, with this new horse (started on lead rein, now walking trotting round school on my own, out for a little stroll down the drive with another horse/someone on foot). There was no space for my horse at the yard my friend is at when I first bought her, so for the first 3months I had her at another yard and didn't see my friend much, although we kept in contact. I've recently moved back to the yard my friend is at.
Since moving back I've ridden a few times, although not as much as I would like due to work/trying to sort out my horse's sweet itch and make her more comfortable. I was away for a few days visiting my boyfriend's parents and my friend was keeping an eye on my pony for me. I told her she could ride her out if she wanted, so that her and her boyfriend each had a horse to hack.
When I got back from my break away, she said that she had hacked my horse out and she was 'not as bombproof as I think' as she spooked and 'tried to take off' with her. She also said she tried to rear and buck! This does NOT sound like my pony at all, and I understand that she may have acted like this as she doesn't really know my friend/hasn't been on yard very long/spring grass/itchy etc... But my horse hasn't done this with me/last owner and I honestly wouldn't have bought her if she was going to be 'bad' to hack!
But now I am overthinking things when it comes to me riding her. My friend knows how nervous I am and it's sort of feels like she is exaggerating things to make it worse? I have a really sore shoulder at the moment, so picking out my horse's feet is a bit of a chore at the moment if she decides to be a pain. Friend then said to me 'oh your 'good' horse is turning out to be not so good isn't she!?' which made me annoyed as horse wasn't actually being bad, just impatient because im slow due to my shoulder and she wanted her haynet, so was trying to put her foot down. She didn't try and kick or anything, just waved her foot a tiny bit to try and get me to drop it. She soon stopped.
I then had a girl come up to view my horse to share her a couple days a week due to me now working 10 hour days. Asked friend to ride my horse once or twice round the school to show potential sharer what she was like as I know I'm very nervous and not the best example. Friend said that she would happily do it, but came out with things like 'oh I hate riding this horse..' etc when getting on in front of potential sharer - quite embarrassing for me when friend said previously that she liked riding my horse in the school!
The most recent 'comment' she has made is when a few other women at the yard, my friend and I were all talking about my nervousness, and thinking of things I can do to improve, and I was explaining that yes I'm still nervous, but im not half as nervous as I once was and I'm actually starting to enjoy riding again. I turned to my friend and said something along the lines of 'I'm a lot better than I used to be amen't I? I've come on a fair bit since my new horse' and all she could reply was 'ehh... A bit I suppose'. That hurt quite a lot as it was infront of others and this was after a conversation my friend and I had the other day about how much I had improved!
It's all getting me a bit down really. She is my friend as I say, and I really am grateful for her help, but I just think that she is sometimes a bit insensitive with her comments and either doesn't know that it is making me feel this way, or if she is deliberately doing it.
I feel like I always support her and am really enthusiastic when she talks about her plans with her horse, but now feel like its all one sided.
Sorry that was really long! Just feel like a bit of a moan today!
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I have a friend - who I would honestly class as a friend, at my yard. We moved there together over a year ago, she helped me out a lot with my old horse when I had exams and dissertation and didn't have the time to go see to him every day, so I am truly grateful to have her.
I have recently (January) bought a new horse, who is my lovely little confidence giving mare. I am an extremely nervous rider due to many reasons, and now I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere, albeit slowly, with this new horse (started on lead rein, now walking trotting round school on my own, out for a little stroll down the drive with another horse/someone on foot). There was no space for my horse at the yard my friend is at when I first bought her, so for the first 3months I had her at another yard and didn't see my friend much, although we kept in contact. I've recently moved back to the yard my friend is at.
Since moving back I've ridden a few times, although not as much as I would like due to work/trying to sort out my horse's sweet itch and make her more comfortable. I was away for a few days visiting my boyfriend's parents and my friend was keeping an eye on my pony for me. I told her she could ride her out if she wanted, so that her and her boyfriend each had a horse to hack.
When I got back from my break away, she said that she had hacked my horse out and she was 'not as bombproof as I think' as she spooked and 'tried to take off' with her. She also said she tried to rear and buck! This does NOT sound like my pony at all, and I understand that she may have acted like this as she doesn't really know my friend/hasn't been on yard very long/spring grass/itchy etc... But my horse hasn't done this with me/last owner and I honestly wouldn't have bought her if she was going to be 'bad' to hack!
But now I am overthinking things when it comes to me riding her. My friend knows how nervous I am and it's sort of feels like she is exaggerating things to make it worse? I have a really sore shoulder at the moment, so picking out my horse's feet is a bit of a chore at the moment if she decides to be a pain. Friend then said to me 'oh your 'good' horse is turning out to be not so good isn't she!?' which made me annoyed as horse wasn't actually being bad, just impatient because im slow due to my shoulder and she wanted her haynet, so was trying to put her foot down. She didn't try and kick or anything, just waved her foot a tiny bit to try and get me to drop it. She soon stopped.
I then had a girl come up to view my horse to share her a couple days a week due to me now working 10 hour days. Asked friend to ride my horse once or twice round the school to show potential sharer what she was like as I know I'm very nervous and not the best example. Friend said that she would happily do it, but came out with things like 'oh I hate riding this horse..' etc when getting on in front of potential sharer - quite embarrassing for me when friend said previously that she liked riding my horse in the school!
The most recent 'comment' she has made is when a few other women at the yard, my friend and I were all talking about my nervousness, and thinking of things I can do to improve, and I was explaining that yes I'm still nervous, but im not half as nervous as I once was and I'm actually starting to enjoy riding again. I turned to my friend and said something along the lines of 'I'm a lot better than I used to be amen't I? I've come on a fair bit since my new horse' and all she could reply was 'ehh... A bit I suppose'. That hurt quite a lot as it was infront of others and this was after a conversation my friend and I had the other day about how much I had improved!
It's all getting me a bit down really. She is my friend as I say, and I really am grateful for her help, but I just think that she is sometimes a bit insensitive with her comments and either doesn't know that it is making me feel this way, or if she is deliberately doing it.
I feel like I always support her and am really enthusiastic when she talks about her plans with her horse, but now feel like its all one sided.
Sorry that was really long! Just feel like a bit of a moan today!
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