Ever had a horsey 'frenemy'?

Grumpy Herbert said:
I agree with all of the above! It's amazing how many people take delight in knocking down everyone else's confidence. Ignore her and get on with enjoying your horse - if the horse is well behaved for you, that's all that matters. Maybe she's better behaved for you because you are a better, more sensitive rider than your 'friend'?!?
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I agree with this, your horse goes well for you, yet this other woman (who is supposed to be better rider) can't get her go for her at all as she tries to take off, buck & rear - all things that she doesn't do with you!
I think you need to keep this person at arms length from now on & don't let her get on your horse as she clearly can't ride one side of her.
 
I don't get her at all - friends help you build confidence, not destroy it. It happens though and most of it due to jealousy - at my old yard I would ride with a friend who would always point out to everyone how well behaved her horse was compared to mine. Granted my older mare got excited in company and was easier to be cantered first but she was never unsafe. When I got my new mare (a v easy going girl), when she behaved like a dream, not only cantering last but waiting to be asked to canter whilst the others tanked off, she told I'd be bored with her! It doesn't matter whether she's jealous of you, the new horse or your growing independence - good friends don't act on it.
 
I had a 'friend' like this, always boasting about how great she was (she couldn't even tack up properly and upset 2 of my horses with her rough treatment) constant veiled critisism and attempts to undermine my confidence. Binned her off last year, but I've hardly ridden since, I need to boot myself up the backside :D
 
3OldPonies said:
It's easy to say this, not being actually involved. but I think you need to get away from your 'friend' proper friends just don't behave like this! Having read your message twice I'm starting to think that she might a) want your pony for herself so is slagging it off (which lets face is exactly what she did in front of the potential sharer) or b) prefers you as a nervous nelly and doesn't want you to get your confidence back (the bit about the bombroof comment makes me think that). Also the fact that she says one thing to your face and another in front of others would make me wary - there could be some jealously hovering in the background, she's trying to make herself look good at your expense.

For what it's worth, I would be starting to look around for another yard and sharer, if this friend carries on like this it's not going to do too much for your confidence building, especially if others on the yard start believing her.
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+100000000000
 
Do not let this person knock your confidence, I agree they like it when you appear nervous and dependent on them. Now you have got your lovely bombproof horse enjoy her, you are not that same nervous rider anymore. Your horse hasn't done anything wrong with you, trust her not your so called friend.
 
Next time she comes up with a negative comment about your horse's behaviour I would smile sweetly and say something along the lines of "Since she never does any of these things with me, but does with you there is obviously a problem, so it would be best if you do not ride or handle her - I'd hate her to develop bad habits!". Carry on as you are doing and enjoy her. In your own way. At your own speed. And B******S to her!!!
 
Believe your lovely mare, and not your frenemy.
I've never come across a horse that lied.
People, on the other hand. ....
 
STRIKER said:
Reread your thread and you will get the picture, there are bo friends where jealousy is concerned and i dont believe the horse pratted about with her, morelike she was a star and your friend couldnt stand that.

I dont understand though why you have a horse yet dont appear to have the time to keep it so resulting on others doing him and now looking for a sharer. Just seems a bit strange to me.
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I agree with the first paragraph...personally I'd move my horse back to the yard you were at before...

However, I also agree with the second too
 
I spent the best part of 8 years in a friendship like this...it never ends well.
Use some of that new found confidence to stand up for yourself and don't allow her to spoil it for you xx
 
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