Ever had to give up on your horsey ambitions because of your hor

BillyBob-Sleigh

BillyBob-Sleigh

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Afternoon all,

So my question is, have any of you ever had to choose between your horsey ambition and your horse? I have just come back from another jumping lesson with bruised calves, hip and a big bump to the head ( yes it hurt even though I had a hat on!). I've had my boy coming up to 3 years this May and he will be 7, I bought him to SJ and event but as the years go on this is seeming less and less likely to happen. He is just too unpredictable and ungenuine with his jumping and now my body (and ego) have taken an absolute battering trying to sort this out. I have arranged for my trainer to jump him once a week and giving me a lesson once a week in the hope that this will sort him out once and for all.

BUT, what if he never comes right? I'm left with my beautiful boy doing something he enjoys (Dressage) but that I hate (no offence DR peeps). He is great to hack and take places so I could try endurance - but this isn't my love, my ambition is to register him to BSJA and see how far we can go. I'm now left in a dilemma, do I keep him and change what I want to do so that I don't have to sell him (would break my heart) or would you sell and get something that means you could fill out your dreams?

Would love to hear other people's stories/opinions.

Thanks x
 
I'd give him fair chance to 'come good' with consistent work from your trainer and see how he goes. However no I wouldn't keep a horse that didn't want to do what I did because I would end up resenting him/ her when they could give pleasure/ create a new partnership with someone who wants to do what they do. I had one very similar to what you desrcibe above, bought to event but really didn't have the heart for it, was clearly worried/ unhappy about jumping was unpredictable and had a nasty stop, but moved very nicely and liked DR & hacking, I sold him to a dressage home where he could carry on doing what he enjoyed. Exceptions to selling on would be horses I didn't think I could find a suitable home for, as they are my responsibility, or for eg a horse that has been competing etc with me but is getting a bit long in the tooth and now needs a quieter life I would feel I owed them that and would find a sharer/ loaner if appropriate but horse would stay in his/her home.
 
I have sort of, I really want to event/ show jump my old horse was too nutty to xc so we show jumped which I loved. My current horse is a wimp and although he jumps and has loads of scope one day he'll jump a DC fastest and other days he won't go over the first fence and goes green as grass.

He does however do a nice dressage test, is cheeky enough that he isn't boring but not too much of a handful. He hacks like a dream and is so easy around the stable with probably the best personality I have ever come across in a horse, he makes me smile on a daily basis and because of this I'm happy not to jump competitively and really that is what I need in a horse right now.

However, if he didn't have these redeeming qualities I'd probably end up selling him and getting something that is more suited to what I want to do. I do also enjoy dressage unlike you OP. In your situation I would definitely consider selling, maybe wait until spring get out competing dressage for a bit and get a decent record and the sell when the market isn't so awful.

Good luck in making your mind up OP, it's such a difficult position to be in and I do feel for you.
 
Yes. I didn't really have high ambitions, just to be able to hack alone and enjoy some local shows with some jumping, but I'm not sure it will ever be possible with my mare. I thought for a time about selling her as it would be easy to find another horse which would be suited to my needs, but I bought her and I love her so I'll keep her and live with it. She's of a nervous disposition and I can't bear the thought of selling her on to someone who might be heavy-handed with her (or sending her away to be re-schooled as I don't think she'd cope well being taken from home).

Now we just hack in company. We might try to take her down a friend's menage and do a bit more with her again this year, but I think that will be it.
 
My horse had an injury and so with his diagnosis I removed all traces of ambition. He is so easy to do (bar clipping and the dentist) that I would never find another like him so I adjusted my expectations to fall in line with his capability (which was going to be light hack/dressage if I was v lucky). He has now returned to full work so my ambitions have returned and we shall see what the future brings but I'd never sell him regardless.

However, your situation is different and it sounds like you just aren't suited in what you want to do so I'd think seriously about selling. It doesn't sound like you're happy just dressaging and just having him around - and there is nothing wrong with that at all - and the perfect owner could be waiting for something like him as not all riders want to jump.
 
My last horse had a minor injury that made him move a little unevenly when it "went", although he would then come sound again, but it was recurrent when eventing, so it did not seem fair to keep eventing....

I tried a change of lifestyle, went shoeless, had him hairy, had 4 months off and brought him back for dressage (as he had been quite high scoring in his events). We did just one BD comp, he got points and placed both Novice and Elementary.... and I was board!

I sold my boy for £1 and that was 3 years ago. I carefully chose the home, and he is used for dressage and hacking. He does also jump, but not to the degree required for Novice BE. It was not about the money as he had behavioural issues in the past, and although he was going well he was still on the sharp side, and he was not 100% sound if worked too hard jumping.

In his new home he is loved like no horse could be loved more. He is competing dressage, has cleaned up red rosettes Novice and Elementary, and is about to be brought out at Medium. He is worshipped for who he is, quirks and all, as well as for what he can do.

If he had stayed with me he would have merely been resented.

For my part I have for the past 3 years had a wonderful ginger one, and we play and dressage, and jump, and event. I worship him and all his quirks, for who he is as well as what he does.

I enjoy my horse time with no resentment.

No guilt.

Trying to jump a horse which is not reliable is no fun. I think it is excellent to have your trainer jump him to see if he comes good. If so I would look to see if you can change something with your riding. If your horse does not go well for your trainer I think it would be fairer to agree that jumping as a career is not for him, and find him a home where he can be happy.

There are reliable saints of horses, like my husband's Charlie Horse, who would jump for anyone, whatever mistakes were made. Having said that we over-saw to see that any nervous riders had a neck strap, and he was not over faced, over jumped or otherwise pulled around. Wouldn't it be nicer to own one of those? To know that as long as you play fair the horse will come through for you?
 
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Kind of. I bought my first horse as a teenager to event. It's what I always dreamed of doing. But my horse napped on cross country. On the way out every fence was hard work and often had a stop - on the way home ( he had a great sense of direction!) he flew every fence with a mile to spare - v frustrating BUT he always finished in the top 3 after the dressage phase. I kept the horse but changed my ambition and have ridden dressage ever since - that pony went to the nationals at elementary (6th) and started my love affair with dressage. If you can't face dressage then sell the horse to a dressage home and get something that loves jumping...
 
blitznbobs said:
If you can't face dressage then sell the horse to a dressage home and get something that loves jumping...
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^^^This. It sounds like your horse will be much happier if he doesn't have to jump, and you will only be happy if you CAN jump.

He sounds like he has a lot to offer to the right rider. There are plenty of riders who don't jump at all (like me nowadays!) who would give him a great home. You can then look, without any guilt, for something better suited to your needs.
 
I've been in that situation a couple of times and my ambitions have always won.
I want to event so bought a nice horse who looked like he could do it all. He was quite big and loved his dressage but used to nap with me at xc. He basically took the p*** out of me and I ended up hating him. I did a bit of dressage on him, were he would usually win ever time, but I still hated dressage. I sold him as a dressage horse to a girl who was alot taller than me and he is in a home for life. She did showing hunters on him and won alot and says he is 'her horse of a lifetime'.
My next horse was a great jumper but ended up not being the bravest so was great SJ but got worse and worse at XC and started to figure out that if he stopped enough xc, he could just walk home, which was just soul destroying as he would jump anything if you went for a practise :( I did some BS on him and won a fare bit of money, but my heart belonged to eventing. It was hard to part with him as although he wasn't great xc, I loved him. I ended up putting him on loan for a few years to a family who just wanted to do low level SJ/PC/RC stuff, which suited him great, they ended up buying him and again he's in a home for life.
My present horse is 'my horse of a lifetime' although she to is a big horse for me, she has loved eventing as much as me and has taken me up to 1* BE which is all I've ever wanted to do.
I think life is too short to try and get your horse to like what you love to do. If you've struggled for 3 years and they're still not liking it, I know it may be heartbreaking to sell him but I would, because once you get that horse that loves doing what you love doing, you'll wish you'd done it sooner. The horses I've sold have ended up loving what they were doing but that's because it wasn't eventing.
Good luck with your decision!
 
Gosh, I wouldn't take five minutes to solve this particular problem: sell the horse to someone who appreciates what he does well and go and buy yourself one which does what you want to do. I presume you bought the horse because you thought he would do the job, he doesn't, so go get one that does.
 
Thanks all - I really appreciate your comments.

My battle with myself is because I love the bones of this horse. Our personalities work well together and we've done a lot of other non jumping related activities and had a ball so I feel like I owe it to him and myself to give it one last shot. It has been 3 years but it's been very stop start with breaking my leg in 3 places (jumping related) and various other annoying life commitments getting in the way. Plus my confidence has taken a beating so I've concentrated on more fun things to not put any pressure on us. My instructor is quite hopeful because he is actually begging to finally grow up now (very babyish Warmblood) so we are hoping his attitude may change. However, I will not force him to carry on - one day he'll be amazing another day he's a ***** so if over the next few months nothing changes then I think I will either have to find a love for Dressage (may be possible...) or sell (don't know how I will manage that, I cried my eyes out leaving him at my instructors yard last month for a week - ridiculous, I know!!).

Sigh...
 
I have been in your shoes and finally decided to sell on though I found it deeply upsetting. However, having a young horse who does not want to do what you want to do is hard on both of you and mine went to a home that thought he was great rather than wish he could more than he was capable of.
 
If he is not right for you, then you are not right for him. It is no good trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. If he enjoys dressage then sell him to someone who wants to do dressage. He is young enough to find a good hem, and then you will be fee to find your jumping horse.
 
I had 2 horsy ambitions - to go out with the bloodhounds and to do a 2ft 6 xc course. So far, through over horsing myself for the best part of the last 8 years, I have managed both a grand total of once, with my lovely mare who I then had to sell as she proved to have a back problem that meant I was too heavy. Now starting again with new boy who is helping my confidence no end.... So yes but still hopeful!
 
When I moved up to horses I wanted something to event & I bought mare she had more jump than ive seen in a 15.2 In a long time !! But her brain was blown... sadly I didnt know this when I bought her
She had been battered as a youngster so was dangerous & had also been pushed too hard as a youngster & wasnt the type to be able to cope with that

This resulted in her sometimes having meltdowns dressage she couldnt handle so eventing was sadly out

Showjumping she would jump a 1.30 course at home but when we went out she would either win or refuse to go over a pole on the floor! This lead to a few confused people if they were there the week before !

But xc she was a machine! I never had a stop on her xc in the 4 years I owned her! We jumped be intermediate courses schooling

So whilst I put my eventing dreams on hold she taught me more than I would have thought possible from 1 horse!

I now have my event prospect, I have done it the hard way & bought her as a 2 year old & have done everything myself! Shes never going to go to the level I would love to get to but she will hopefully be competitive at 100 which I would love! She has a home for life , I am getting my own land so she will stay forever & I will either have her as my fun horse or I will loan her to someone for the lower ranks

I love her to much to sell her & she owes me nothing !
 
[QUOTE

I love her to much to sell her & she owes me nothing ![/QUOTE]

This here is exactly my problem. I love him too much to sell but I just feel so sad that even though he has the potential in bucket loads his head isn't in the right place. I would feel unbelievably selfish selling him just because he didn't enjoy what I wanted to do! Hence me thinking that maybe I should just suck it up and get into what he is good at. I suppose it depends on how competitive I want to be? If I'm happy to just enjoy his company (which i love - he's such a character) and just forget about any competitive aspirations in the SJ world. Sorry, I appreciate it's not an answer anyone could give me, it will have to be my own judgement, but helps to hear what others in my situation have done.
 
the only problem then would be if he came back there is no way I could afford 2 horses. However, my mum has offered for me to start jumping her ex racer to get my "fix", so this may be a possibility to keep everyone happy...
 
Yes, twice, both times due to injury/unsoundness. I retired my gelding from endurance at the top of his game, but he is having a great second career as my dressage horse, which is something I always wanted to do.

I have retired from endurance, but still do CTR (still 40 -70 km, but set speed of 10/12 km/hr) on my little part bred mare, but have just made the decision to miss the rest of the season (both championship rides) because of unsoundness. I will turn her out for several months and re-assess next season, but am not sure she will be suitable for what I want to do. So there maybe some hard decisions coming up in the next 12 months. But it can wait until then.
 
am currently in this situation however mine is far more complicated as my horse is very attached to me and went out on trial only to come back as he proved too much for his potential new owner. I want to get back into showjumping and unfortunately he just doesn't have the ability to take me there. He's a fantastic horse and loves going low level cross country and could do a good dressage test as well. I'm currently debating whether to find something for me on loan to showjump and find a sharer for him or possibly loan with a view to buy from our current yard. I don't resent him as it's not his fault he can't do bigger jumps. He has an abused past and took a long time to learn to trust me and refuses point blank to be ridden or handled other than in the short term by other people.
 
No, I found something we both loved doing instead! I originally wanted to Show Jump and Dressage my Appy but due to lack of transport I was unable to get to many competitions. So I decided to have a go at Hunting as he loves hacking, has great stamina and enjoys jumping cross country fences. It was the best thing we ever did and being situated in a great part of the country for Hunting means we can hack to and from plenty of meets. :) I wouldn't sell him even if he didn't fulfil my ambitions though as I've had him for eight years and he is my horse of a lifetime!
 
yes i desperatly wanted to start Dressage with my old boy. but after a while i realised that A. he didnt enjoy it and B. really struggled to do anything but straight lines. he was an ex racehorse and set in his ways. so i kinda gave up on flatwork except the basics and mainly hacked/hunted/fun rides and did the occasional cross country schooling or show jumping. i never competed on him as i didnt really have transport of my own. i am so glad i didnt push him to do something he hated and also didnt get rid of him as we still had so much fun together and he taught me so much.

but each case is different. maybe you could loan him out and still jump the ex racehorse. if you are happy being without him then sell and get something that would live up to expectations?
 
I bought my mare out of racing to reschool for dressage. She moved beautifully and should have been a wonderful dressage horse. Unfortunately she was diagnosed with navicular, hind limb PSLD, bilateral spavin and arthritis of the fetlock - all diagnosed on one day at horsepital after varying lameness issues and only about a year after I got her. She is now a light hack and does some very low level unaffiliated dressage but will never get to any decent level as the vets have advised only low level schooling and not ask for too much collection as she will find it too strenuous on her hind limbs. But even if she was sellable I would never consider selling her. Probably different for professional riders whose livelihood depends on their horses, but different for me as my horses are my hobby. My ambitions lie in the job that pays me money that allows me to have the horses, not the horses themselves.
 
spotty_pony said:
No, I found something we both loved doing instead! I originally wanted to Show Jump and Dressage my Appy but due to lack of transport I was unable to get to many competitions. So I decided to have a go at Hunting as he loves hacking, has great stamina and enjoys jumping cross country fences. It was the best thing we ever did and being situated in a great part of the country for Hunting means we can hack to and from plenty of meets. :) I wouldn't sell him even if he didn't fulfil my ambitions though as I've had him for eight years and he is my horse of a lifetime!
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This is great! Finding a happy medium :). My trainer reckons a season's hunting will do him the world of good so that's penciled in for next season now, problem is that he's not that brave XC either lol. We did a le Trec year before last and whilst I didn't particularly enjoy the obstacle part we both loved the long distance aspect - he was amazing. I think I'm going to try a few things this year - get trainer to help with his jumping, make an effort to do more DR and see if I can find a love for it :), enter a couple of showing classes and low level endurance and just see if there's something we really can get our teeth stuck into together. I'm taking him to a local SJ comp this Sunday just for a little 2'6 and see how we get on!
 
Dreamer515 said:
but each case is different. maybe you could loan him out and still jump the ex racehorse. if you are happy being without him then sell and get something that would live up to expectations?
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I realise that my original post didn't quite bring across how much I love this horse. I would do anything to keep him around but just seems so unfair that he may not be able to fulfil his potential jumping wise. If I jumped my mum's ex racer and found something that both me and Billy could enjoy competing in together then that would be amazing. I definitely would not be happy without him, just wondering how other people have dealt with similar situations :).
 
BillyBob-Sleigh said:
[QUOTE

I love her to much to sell her & she owes me nothing !
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This here is exactly my problem. I love him too much to sell but I just feel so sad that even though he has the potential in bucket loads his head isn't in the right place. I would feel unbelievably selfish selling him just because he didn't enjoy what I wanted to do! Hence me thinking that maybe I should just suck it up and get into what he is good at. I suppose it depends on how competitive I want to be? If I'm happy to just enjoy his company (which i love - he's such a character) and just forget about any competitive aspirations in the SJ world. Sorry, I appreciate it's not an answer anyone could give me, it will have to be my own judgement, but helps to hear what others in my situation have done.[/QUOTE]

I think it depends on how you keep him, if it's your own land then its not so bad as you can keep him how you want :)

When I said I will keep her as I owe her nothing I will have my own land & be able to get another to further my admissions should I wish

Could you afford to loan him out & get another?
 
Not on my own land unfortunately :( he's on a livery yard. I don't even think I could loan him...the thought of him being with somebody else who may not understand him (he is a very complicated, sensitive soul) and them being too rough with him just bring a lump to my throat.

God, I'm not making this easy.
 
It sounds to me like you really dont want to let him go ! Despite him being unsuitable for your dreams however dreams can change :)

Have you tried hunting him ? Quite often it helps the wimpy jumper :)
 
i have.
i bought a pony to break in and sell so that i could buy a horse to compete on. i was just about to sell him when he went lame, he was diagnosed in bilateral hind PSD and navicular, i have rehabbed him but will never sell. i dont really regret it though, i love him dearly and i have many years to achieve my dreams but for now life and money means i can only have him and i am content with that.
 
Iv got a problem my horse is to much talent for me years ago maybe. Im a happy hacker now the horse iv got lives to compete so got to try and do it all over again and hate it. But cant sell him He was not bought to compete but would not be happy as a hacker.
 
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