Ever wondered what a horse would say on Facebook?

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kittyb

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So I have set Matty up a Facebook page so he can have his own fan club

He is feeling a little lonely with only 7 friends at the moment so if you'd like to read daily updates and see pictures from Berkshire's most vain equine search for him on Facebook under "Mateus Rose Blackler"

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I know what mine would say, a picci of us both and his comment would be.. seen the state of her, this is what i have to put up with!:D
 
nix123 said:
I know what mine would say, a picci of us both and his comment would be.. seen the state of her, this is what i have to put up with!:D
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Today he is mainly complaining that he feels violated - we started clipping him but he got all wriggly so we had to stop for the day before it was done. It has left him looking rather "interesting!"
 
"I get told off for banging the door but I only do it for 1) to get breakfast 2) to tell her I have finished breakfast. I don't see the problem personally, I thought human horse communication was what they wanted....."
 
My 21 would say 'I want to be alone, don't bother me', the four year old would say 'Are we going for a ride today, I'd really like that, I just want to spend all my time with you and I don't really want to share you either', and the two year old isn't that bright, he'd probably just say 'D'oh!'
 
PENNY ''Had a lovely roll in the mud, well plastered, and then SHE came and groomed me, so I can do it again! #feelingveryclever and still naked!!''
MEG ''Thankgod SHE was dealing with the little horror, a few moments peace while I select the best bits of hay from both piles - bargain''.
 
My mare "Food? Has she got food? She's got a headcollar, alright everyone, walk away slowly so she doesn't start running... Damn she knows I like being scratched, gets me everytime!"
 
"Does she think I need this rug? Doesn't she know that if I roll in this it won't cover my coat? Okay, new plan, rip it off, then roll before she sees!" Or, "You would not believe this, silly cow thought i would enjoy a spot of lunging this afternoon. Doesn't she know that I am perfectly capable of a canter, I just prefer gallop okay!!" :D
 
This is what my horse had to say for himself yesterday:

"Before trying out my newly stuffed saddle, the saddler asked whether I always stood like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. For a brief moment I thought someone had finally fallen for my vain attempt at impersonating an over worked carriage horse, but she saw through it like all the rest of them do.

She said she's going to take a picture of me and post it on here. I don't get the problem myself - my head is heavy as it is full of brains, so naturally when I am relaxing it is more comfortable for it to be lower than my knees. :/"

He has his own FB page too! http://www.facebook.com/MrCamHorse

We are also in Berkshire - perhaps they could join forces as a stand up double act. :p
 
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My friends pony has Facebook page where gloats about all the destruction he has wreaked and how often he has managed to ditch her. He looks so sweet and innocent but that butter wouldn't melt face is hiding a black heart :D
 
Mine would be something along the lines of: "I can never decide whether to go over to her or not... she could have food, but she could be about to make me work. But, I better check just in case she has food."
"I don't think she realises that Falabellas hunt in packs of three. I keep trying to tell her but she just laughs. It's down to me to protect us both."
"I don't understand dressage. Let's just canter."
"She says I'm needy. I just think I'm charmingly talkative. And alert. And handsome."
 
I think you might compete at the yard where my boy lives looking at Cam's FB page...

nikicb said:
This is what my horse had to say for himself yesterday:

"Before trying out my newly stuffed saddle, the saddler asked whether I always stood like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. For a brief moment I thought someone had finally fallen for my vain attempt at impersonating an over worked carriage horse, but she saw through it like all the rest of them do.

She said she's going to take a picture of me and post it on here. I don't get the problem myself - my head is heavy as it is full of brains, so naturally when I am relaxing it is more comfortable for it to be lower than my knees. :/"

He has his own FB page too! http://www.facebook.com/MrCamHorse

We are also in Berkshire - perhaps they could join forces as a stand up double act. :p
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Haha what a great idea!

Mine would say 'Y U NO WANT JUMP????' or 'I CAN HAZ JUMP?'. In her opinion, any time spent doing anything else (work wise) is wasted.

She is very, very cool and down with the kids. I'm not cool. If I were her friend on facebook she'd block me from seeing or commenting on most of her posts and pretend she didn't know me.
 
My ex-racer would make a status like this.. "Got breakfast in my pink bucket today, that was so cool! Then my haynet was refilled,that was so cool! Mum cleaned the wound on my leg that I got from walking up and down the fence in the field because that is just so cool! Then we went for a hack the way we usually go except we turned around halfway as I'm not allowed to do too much yet-that was so cool! Mum told me off for headbanging but it was just because I wanted my dinner, then she gave me my dinner in my OTHER pink bucket-that was so cool! " You get the idea...
 
Mine would mostly post those "please talk to me and love me and adore me" type posts!

He is also a little bit like that "a day in the life of a dog (and cat)" post that does the rounds every now and then...
7am.. people arriving at the yard, my favourite thing!
7.30am... breakfast, my favourite thing!
8am... going out in the field, my favourite thing!
8.30am... played with my new fieldmate, my favourite thing!
9am... ate grass, my favourite thing!
And on and on, until
5pm.. brought back to stable, my favourite thing!
5.30pm... grooming, my favourite thing!
6pm, hay, my favourite thing!

You get the picture ;)
 
chestnut cob said:
Mine would mostly post those "please talk to me and love me and adore me" type posts!

He is also a little bit like that "a day in the life of a dog (and cat)" post that does the rounds every now and then...
7am.. people arriving at the yard, my favourite thing!
7.30am... breakfast, my favourite thing!
8am... going out in the field, my favourite thing!
8.30am... played with my new fieldmate, my favourite thing!
9am... ate grass, my favourite thing!
And on and on, until
5pm.. brought back to stable, my favourite thing!
5.30pm... grooming, my favourite thing!
6pm, hay, my favourite thing!

You get the picture ;)
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We have 5 (yes, FIVE) with exactly the same philosophy. Any attention is good attention and a visit from the farrier/vet is a red letter day.. that really is their favourite thing, one to one extended attention.
 
Ladyinred said:
We have 5 (yes, FIVE) with exactly the same philosophy. Any attention is good attention and a visit from the farrier/vet is a red letter day.. that really is their favourite thing, one to one extended attention.
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Ooo no, mine is much less convinced about the vet and farrier. He is inherently suspicious of anyone who looks vaguely professional... he tolerates the farrier but likes to pretend he has shivers or some sort of neurological problem that means he might collapse and die at ANY MINUTE (he doesn't, and won't). He also likes to pretend I never pick out his feet and he doesn't know what it means... he also does this when my YO picks out his feet. Re the vet... he always does his very best RSPCA-case-face... pretending he needs immediate rescue and rehoming because I am so incredibly cruel to him. And then there is the physio. He HATES, and I mean HATES, my physio. This is a horse who works well, nicely on the bit, secure in the contact, works over his back well, tracks up, is sound, does nice lateral work... when the physio comes, he immediately glares at me, dips his back, inverts his neck (he has pretty good muscle development and topline), sticks out his belly, camps his back legs out behind him and pretends he has never been schooled in his life... *rolls eyes*

And you know it's all put on because when he thinks no one is watching, he will nibble and nose at the farrier, then when he realises you are watching, metaphorically whistles and pretends to be fiddling with something ;)

Thankfully his rather naive and usually cheerful philosophy does extend to work...
Flatwork... not quite my favourite thing but OK
Cantering... WOOOOO my MOST favourite thing....
Jumps... my favourite thing... let's go really fast... why has it fallen down?!
Cross country... my favourite thing, bring it on, I am the man, let me show you all how it's done ;)
 
Yet more insights from my Matty:

"
I don't understand mum sometimes. She comes into MY stable and gets upset when I squash her against the door just a little bit, there wasn't even much squashing. In my defence:
1) Mum has plenty of padding so its not like squashing hurts and its not like I put my whole weight into it
2) There were REALLY interesting noises coming from the yard and I had to see what was going on
3) I could see treats in the top of my tack box just outside of the door...I can almost reach them if I stretch my neck out enough and mum was very insensitively in the way
4) It was past time for my slaves to come in an change my bed and I was wondering where they had got to. You just can't get the same standard of service nowadays

She got so cross that she kept making me move back about 20 times and wasn't even impressed when I worked out that I could go around behind her to the back of the box and then forwards to get a few seconds at the door the other side of her before she noticed and moved me back again.

What a mean mum, anyone want to adopt me?"
 
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