Every day...

Queenbee

Queenbee

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This year has been a pile of poo, I watched my beautiful mare waste away before my eyes, helpless to change things and only able to make that final decision for her, I watched my baby boy Ben, grieve for her something awful. I got offered my dream job, then lost it because my manager is an idiot who doesn't know how to write a factually correct reference, so I also lost the house I was going to get with the mortgage I could afford with the new job:rolleyes:. I walked away from a five year relationship and kept trying to put my life together and start a fresh, only to keep getting knock after knock in this cr appy year. And now I'm suing my employers over the reference thing. I saved up after paying off 2k of vets bills for a lovely relaxing holiday somewhere hot and five star only to have the holiday ruined when I received the call about the job offer being retracted and my ex knowing I was away decided to bombard me with texts which has cost me a flipping fortune in phone bills... And at the end of the holiday I got so frustrated and in a flap I got drunk and dropped the phone down the loo... So yeah, all in all a seriously cra ppy year...

But every day, I get to the yard and as I get out of the car I hear the most warming of welcomes a proper low throaty rumbling Whinney, and see my boy running across the field to greet me his mommy at the gate. I feed him, and brush him, we share some days a wonderful 1/2 hour exploring together, no one around, no phone calls or texts, just us, the roads and bridle ways and nature, I put him to bed, feed hay and water and finish off my chores... And everyday just before I turn the yard light off and go home leaving him all snuggled up for the night I walk up to his stable and say 'can I have a kiss please?' And everyday he dutifully walks up to the door and proffers his muzzle for me to kiss.

God, he's never going to know just how much of a lifeline he has been because I can't tell him, but my New Years resolution is to make sure I show him every single day...
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Feel free to share your 2012 grumbles, and those little 'every day' moments that you share with your horse that makes the bad times bearable and the good times great
 
If I wrote all that's happened and still happening, I think I'd have myself sectioned if I saw it in print..

However, I know how you are feeling and just wanted to say how lovely I think your photo is and I'm glad you have your lad to focus on.. I know I'd be lost without mine :)

xxx
 
So sorry to hear that you have had such a rough year!!

I'm not going to start preaching :D but you should try reading "excuse me your life is waiting" pm me if you want the Authors name... Worth a try x:)
 
Sorry you have had such a horrible year, sometimes horses can make such an impact on your life and they have a knack of always being there for you when you need them and no they dont even know it which makes it even more special.

Lovely picture:)
 
2012 has been better than 2011 when on 2nd of January I lost my beautiful boy to cancer, then my new horse was PTS on the 11th Nov due to crippling ringbone :( In February this year I found Tinker, I went and tried him but my confidence had been knocked so I walked away. I saw him still looking for a home and the owner was desperate to find him one so much so that she offered him to me on a 3 month trial. From the moment he loaded straight onto the trailer from getting home he was perfect. And he still Is to this day. He passed with a glowing report from the vet, he is good in every way. He is the perfect horse for me. And to think I was going to pass him up.
 
So sorry to hear about your awful year but thank goodness that you have your lovely boy to get you through it.

This year has been very up and down for me horsewise. I lost my beautiful old boy in May - I still miss him but it is getting easier and I have to remember that we thought all hope was gone in 2009 but he pulled through and I had 3 years longer with him than I could have done. My lovely little mare surpassed all of my expectations as we did better and better at local RC dressage finally coming 2nd but then she went lame suddenly and has been out of work ever since. I went back to basics with my young gelding and he was doing brilliantly until a few weeks ago but I now have an explanation so we have a plan and will just start again next spring.
But overall I'd say I've been lucky because I've been the owner of 3 amazing and beautiful horses who are a pleasure to own and the 2 I still have have helped me to get over the loss of the other.
 
What a horrible and lovely post at the same time! Ben is absolutely gorgeous :)

2012 seems to be the year of loss.
I lost my beautiful cat Holly, my Nan, Archie, Bracken, Mel and at this time last year I lost 3 friends, all very close together :(

My time with Ned has been fab though, he's the one (and my doggie) who's kept me going. Even when he turned into a nasty little monster for a month or so, every little break through made me so happy! I refused to leave the yard until he'd done something good.
 
The end of my 2011 and most of 2012 was crappy. The end of this year has been the best yet and can see the light for next year being even better. I hope yours follows suit, you have a great reason for it to be a good year :)
He's gorgeous (and has an eye for the camera!)
 
I lost my husband 6 weeks ago, and the only thing getting me through each day is because I have to go to see to the horses, and also walk my dog. Animals are wonderful arent they for getting you through the bad times, you can have a good cry into the horses manes and not feel embarassed because no one else is seeing it. It would be easy to stay in bed all day if it wasnt for them. I hope everyone can have a better year next year.
 
What a cr*ppy time you've been having! I really hope things get better for you soon. Lovely picture. What a stunning animal he is!
 
You know it's funny you mention the whinny. My mare Abba greats me every evening at the gate with a whinny. It's just a greeting to say come on I want in! But it warms my heart. Ears up happy and greets me with head in chest. 2 seconds after she's in her stable, she's quite over me! LOL!

I'm really sorry about your crappy year. Mine hasn't been great. Lots of things I wanted to do but money was tight and so that was frustrating but things could be worse. I have much to be thankful for.

Thanks so much for the pic! I had you and Ben pictured completely different! Beautiful boy.

Hoping everyone who has had a tough year gets better in 2013.

Terri
 
Whilst I haven't had as bad a year as others have had, 2012 has definitely brought my lowest lows and I have really struggled as it's been the worst year of my life (I just try to remind myself that I'm still very lucky compared to others)
However the bond with my horse just grows stronger every day, she trusts me more and lets me get away with more ******* ups than she'll ever tolerate from anyone else. She neighs at me nearly every day, which she never used to. I set foot on the yard and her head is over her door watching me. She is my life.
 
alma said:
I lost my husband 6 weeks ago, and the only thing getting me through each day is because I have to go to see to the horses, and also walk my dog. Animals are wonderful arent they for getting you through the bad times, you can have a good cry into the horses manes and not feel embarassed because no one else is seeing it. It would be easy to stay in bed all day if it wasnt for them. I hope everyone can have a better year next year.
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Alma, I'm so sorry to hear this :( my thoughts, cyber hugs and best wishes go out to you xx
Wagtail said:
What a cr*ppy time you've been having! I really hope things get better for you soon. Lovely picture. What a stunning animal he is!
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Yep, but it is what it is, and I'm actually incredibly proud of myself, the days watching ebony and fighting to save her were seriously tough and now I've got a court battle with work and I'd give anything for this year to have not thrown such a shi tty dice my way, but it did, and as I said I'm very proud of myself, because I look back and I see the strength that I have shown throughout. And thank you...he is a stunner for a mud monster :)

Equilibrium Ireland said:
You know it's funny you mention the whinny. My mare Abba greats me every evening at the gate with a whinny. It's just a greeting to say come on I want in! But it warms my heart. Ears up happy and greets me with head in chest. 2 seconds after she's in her stable, she's quite over me! LOL!

I'm really sorry about your crappy year. Mine hasn't been great. Lots of things I wanted to do but money was tight and so that was frustrating but things could be worse. I have much to be thankful for.

Thanks so much for the pic! I had you and Ben pictured completely different! Beautiful boy.

Hoping everyone who has had a tough year gets better in 2013.

Terri
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Yes, it is warming... Translated it absolutely means... 'Gawds sake mum, get me in and warm and fed, god damn you what took you so long' but to me it's... 'Oh it's you, I love you and I'm so glad to see you' tonight we had a proper conversation as I walked up with the lead rope, he whinnied, I whinnied back, he replied... This went on for about 6 exchanges of me trying to speak horse! Lol:rolleyes::p


Anyway, yes it was crappy and yes it was tough, and I got absolutely floored by ebony her illness and her loss, but I'm proud of my strength, that I fought and I let go and she had her dignity, and I thank god I had Ben or I'd be sat at home never to ride again!

I hope everyone has a fantastic Christmas and a bloody good 2013 xx
 
Forgot to say, thank you all, for your lovely comments about Ben, and the picture... It was taken by Twizzle on here, she is an excellent photographer and has through her lens provided me with some fabulous memories of my horses.
 
alma said:
I lost my husband 6 weeks ago, and the only thing getting me through each day is because I have to go to see to the horses, and also walk my dog. Animals are wonderful arent they for getting you through the bad times, you can have a good cry into the horses manes and not feel embarassed because no one else is seeing it. It would be easy to stay in bed all day if it wasnt for them. I hope everyone can have a better year next year.
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So very sorry for your loss, Alma. Glad your animals are helping to keep you strong. xx


QB/Snow_Queen, your post is very moving. I watched Ebony's story unfold over the months I've been here, and was heart-broken for you when you lost her.

Hoping for a happy 2013 for you and your beautiful ben. xx
 
Sad but inspiring post QB, Im another who wont put things into print as Id probably push myself over the edge :o

Your boy is gorgeous and I also know how much these horses are a life line to our sanity, dont know what I would do without my boy to cuddle into and cry when things get too much. Just proves that animals are so much better than our fellow man, they never judge and certainly dont mind being sobbed at :)

I dont think 2012 has been a great year for many on here and other forums, certainly hasnt for me anyways :( I cant wait until 2013 to bring this sad year to an end and hopefully start another better one and I have a perfect NY resolution to start it off.
 
Just try and live each day as if it may be your last. May sound melodramatic, but believe me, life can be *****e and you never know when the rug is going to be pulled from under your feet.

I'm in my sixties and lost a very good friend nearly 40 years ago; he was in his early twenties. Since then, I've lost many dear friends before their time.
Life can throw a lot at us......redundancy, divorce, death, illness etc etc.

I made the resolution early on to find something good and positive and beautiful about each and EVERY day no matter what was going on. It works for me!

Take heart all of you and enjoy life....it is VERY transient.

PS Reading that back it sounds really 'kitsch' (a german word, not sure what I mean in english )
 
gunnergundog said:
Just try and live each day as if it may be your last. May sound melodramatic, but believe me, life can be *****e and you never know when the rug is going to be pulled from under your feet.

I'm in my sixties and lost a very good friend nearly 40 years ago; he was in his early twenties. Since then, I've lost many dear friends before their time.
Life can throw a lot at us......redundancy, divorce, death, illness etc etc.

I made the resolution early on to find something good and positive and beautiful about each and EVERY day no matter what was going on. It works for me!

Take heart all of you and enjoy life....it is VERY transient.

PS Reading that back it sounds really 'kitsch' (a german word, not sure what I mean in english )
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Gunnerdog, it doesn't matter what it sounds like... It's absolutely true... Life is to be cherished
 
TSQ, lovely post, can feel your pain through it, and I totally understand. I hate that Seren has gone, I miss her and want her back, its been almost 14months now, how the time passes. Nell has helped keep me sane, having a horse is excellent therapy, and i think animals on the whole are wonderful therapy. Here is to a better 2013 for you


alma said:
I lost my husband 6 weeks ago, and the only thing getting me through each day is because I have to go to see to the horses
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Alma, I am so sorry to read this, I just cannot even imagine, *big hugs* to you, horses are truly wonderful and do force you to keep going and getting out in the fresh air, such good therapy, take care x
 
To everyone who has had a *****ty year, HUGE HUGS but all of you have shown how strong you are (with a little help from our friends)
I was devastated when I lost my TB in Feb to colic, but even while stroking his star trying to keep him calm, my other lad touched my hand through the stable bars ever so gently, as much to say I'm here mam, that memory still has me in tears.
I hope everyone has a 2013 that makes dreams come true
 
Which year was it the Queen had her "annus horribilus"?? Yes this year would have to be her "annus fantasticus"!!! And so it goes for all of us. We are only given what we can bear and remember what doesn't kill us makes us stronger....so op....you are best off without him, and there is much good in store for you when you start to look forward positively!! And that goes for all of us.....my hubby and I are approaching our 70s and we cannot retire yet (and I cannot spend all day with my ponies as I would like!) as we still have a mortgage to service and land to sell...I just thank goodness/god/allah/jehova that we are still able to work and have jobs to keep us afloat!!! Let's hope that 2013 brings all of us health, wealth and retirement!!!
 
Massive ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) Life can be a B***h most of the time but thank god for our horses :) I truly hope next year is better for you. You deserve some happyness for a while after all you've been through this year. That picture is deff one to treasure. :) xx
 
alma said:
I lost my husband 6 weeks ago, and the only thing getting me through each day is because I have to go to see to the horses, and also walk my dog. Animals are wonderful arent they for getting you through the bad times, you can have a good cry into the horses manes and not feel embarassed because no one else is seeing it. It would be easy to stay in bed all day if it wasnt for them. I hope everyone can have a better year next year.
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I'm so sorry, I hope you have all the support you need to help you at this time. You're right about the animals though, they are wonderful in so many ways when life throws sad times at you.



The _Snow _Queen love the photo of you and your boy. That's one for the album.
 
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