Extreme separation anxiety

[Caitlinr27]

Hi everyone,
I am in the pits of despair this evening after losing my late Grandad’s dog today and having an absolutely awful day with my horses, I could really use some advice.
I have three horses total, mare and five month foal plus ex racer mare Belle.
I got Belle a year ago off the track and she now lives with me on a private yard, just our horses and I am experiencing extreme separation anxiety with her at the moment towards both my horses but particularly my older mare. Even to get Lady out of the field into adjacent field, means Belle will cry out for her and charge full speed up and down the field. Today, I took Lady for a five minute maximum hack up our lane and back as she is just coming back into work now. My partner was at the field to keep an eye and Belle flipped out only this time would not calm down and almost ran over our foal dream and my partner when he tried to catch her. I am now very concerned with the safety of our foal. Stabling her makes her even worse. When ridden she has started to become nappy and is always desperate to return to the others. Hacking her alone right now is impossible.
our two other horses could not care less when they leave belle,and dream (foal) is quite happy to be separated from mum, but does obviously get worked up when Belle is charging about the field. I’m at the point now where I cannot get Lady/dream out of the field alone now because there would be no one around to watch the other two.
It wasn’t always like this, when we first got belle, we were on a livery yard and belle was quite happy to be left with the company of a larger herd for lady to come out and work etc and visa versa. I am starting to think that the complete flip of lifestyle change, from being in a busy racing yard to quiet life with no other horses has had a detrimental effect on her and she is not suited to our way of life. Moving yards is not an option as we have a long term agreement and have built our stables from scratch. We also cannot afford another horse to act as second companion as we can barely keep up with current three given cost of living increases. I am at a loss with what to do, my partner has suggested we think about selling Belle to someone who can offer a more 1-1 relationship on a busier yard with more company and more opportunities for her. I know I will have to get another horse still if this is the case and risk going through this again if next horse developed severe attachment and I would hate to part with her, but I fear I cannot offer her what she needs right now. I also am growing increasingly worried for our foal and cannot risk her getting hurt or picking up on this stress when her gradual weaning is going so well. Belle is such a lovely horse, wouldn’t hurt a fly and is generally a pleasure to be around otherwise. Could someone please offer any opinions in the matter? What would you do in this situation?

 

[L&M]

I am so sorry to hear about your situation.

I was in a similar boat with a horse I bought, it was a saint to do anything with company, but if asked to do anything on its own it became a nervous wreck, to the point of being dangerous.

I couldn't hack it out on its own as would panic and try to bolt back to the yard. If travelled alone it would go over the breast bar, and if asked to come out of the field and even stand on the yard on its own, it would become a quivering mess and screaming its head off.

An 'old fashioned horseman' told me that the horse needed to 'get over itself', and advised I bought it down to the yard, tied it up with a net, and walk off and leave it until it settled. I was that despaarate I tried it - suffice to say after a few hrs it had not settled and dug a hole in the yard pawing with anxiety........poor sod and I will never forgive myself for trying it.

In the end sadly I did sell it on, making sure any prospective purchaser was aware of his issues. Although I lost money, I found him the perfect home where he was always handled, ridden and travelled with company - they still have him now and adore him.

Sadly I think ex racers have a reputation for separation issues as are rarely asked to do anything on their own......i know of at least 2 that won't hack alone because of their separation anxiety.

Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear......

 

[Caitlinr27]

Thank you for sharing your story. I am trying to not make any rash decisions but I just cannot see the issue getting any better at this point, only worse and more dangerous for everyone as time goes on. I would hate for her to injure herself with her shenanigans or even dream but I cannot be confined to a life where I cannot take my other horses out of the field. I also am not in a position financially/time wise to have her at another yard which may be better suited for her.

 

[kathantoinette]

Can you not stable her and the foal (separately) when you hack out? Might be safer for everyone.

 

[Palindrome]

I think selling her sounds the right decision. If finances are a bit tight, I would wait before getting a 3rd as the foal might be ok alone while you ride your mare, or get a shetland, they get a bad rep but mine is fabulous for staying calm in most circumstances, she won't waste any energy running around for nothing and she is super cheap to keep (doesn't need rugs or hard feed).

 

[Barton Bounty]

Dont give up on her just yet, seperate the field, she needs her own space, my boy was an absolute nightmare initially, got attached to his next door neighbours even though all our horses at the yard are single grazed.
start by taking her away for five minutes and do the same with your others, then build from there, she does need to get over herself in a sense, and learn that they will always come back. At my new yard BB is absolutely fine of someone goes away , he might have a run around for five minutes but he gets over it pretty quickly.

 

[Hallo2012]

so i only have 2 at home and have had to work through this twice now.

i have one pony who couldn't care less, you can do anything with him alone and leave him anywhere alone and he just eats, the other 2 i have had, have both been prone to extreme anxiety like Belle.

you need to go back several steps. separate Belle in to her own paddock, as much as its ideal for them to live in a herd situation having them in separate paddocks stops them getting so reliant.

then you need to literally start by catching mare and foal, first and walking them to the gate and getting your OH to catch Belle second and walk her to the gate just fractionally later but not yet out of sight,and build that up over weeks until you can catch mare and foal and get them outside the gate(but again not out of sight) before OH catches Belle.

once she's 100% ok with that, get mare/foal walking towards the yard (but not out of sight) before catching belle and over weeks build up to them being out of sight for like 30 seconds before you catch her and then over weeks build up to actually getting them in first then going back for her.

and doing the same in reverse going out, start with 30 seconds out of sight and build up to 5/10 minutes.

and then you can gradually increase it in 5 min blocks.

my 2 tricky ones both used to scream and run and now will wait patiently and only get a bit wound up if the weather is dreadful but still nothing like as stressy as they used to be.

this is a 3/4 month plan not a 3/4 week plan but stick with the tiny increments and it should work