Falling out with a friend over horse's wellfare

M

muffinmunsh

Well-Known Member
Joined
21 December 2009
Messages
374
Visit site
I have just had a massive falling out with an old friend over her horse. It was her dream horse but unfortunately got injured last year and snapped a tendon (I understand the Achilles tendon). The vet suggested to put him down as in his opinion the horse would not recover fully. Second vet confirmed. Natural healer (for lack of better description) put horse on 6 months boxrest with some arnica pills and other stuff. Then another few months of short walk exercise. Now they are lunging the poor thing so he can build up muscle to support the leg!
I haven't seen him fir a long time but have been told he is still very lame, over a year later. And they are lunging him. I am going there next week and will probably have to give her a piece of my mind. It'll probably spell the end of our friendship. What would you do? Put up or shut up?
 
Its hard to fall out with your friends i know none of mine are talking to me at the moment. I wouldnt stand by and watch a horse being badly treated though just couldnt. Friend or no friend i would have to say something. And make sure your facts are right and the vet hasnt told her to do this though.
 
If the tendon was snapped and not just a little torn, it would need an operation. I sliced through all the tendons in my leg when i was 14. Nearly was missed, but doctors realised before leg sewn up again, it works ok, but is not 100%. I do not have full movement, and my foot tends to flop to the ground a little when I walk. I cannot imagine how much more difficult this kind of op for a horse would be, even if addressed at the time. To continue with a horse like this is pretty foolish.
 
sometimes it takes a good friend to say something that might hurt but its for the greater good. i think when it comes to our animals we get a bit wishy washy if that makes sense. Its a hard thing to do :o
 
I know we love our horses but xometimes that 'love' goes too far. If the horse is still lame after a year - it is in pain and if that pain cannot be controlled with medication then it is the right thing to do and PTS.

I damaged my Achelles Tendon many years ago in a bad skydiving landing - it still hurts at times and some days will cause me to limp significantly.

Findin anything to relieve the pain is impossible.
 
I've had a similar scenario with my friend... Well old friend now!

We were sharing the workload between her horse and mine, all was going well enough until mine was put on box rest. The agreement was that she'd put a net in, top up water and skip out (once a day) instead of the usual turnout/feed... It soon transpired that he wasn't getting fresh water, being skipped out and left until 12:00pm before she came down. Where as I'd be down early hours sorting her horse.

Long story short, horses and friends can create problems. The welfare of my horse wasn't being met and I'm very protective of him so I moved him and we havent spoke since.

I'd say something as politely but bluntly as you can but be prepared for a fall out and being ignored. The next step would maybe be to report it officially.
 
It's a difficult one.

I lost a very good friend through a similar thing and I'd say think very carefully before saying anything.

My friend was perhaps not looking after her horses like I would & another friend ( let's call him friend number 3 ) was getting very upset about this. One day we were all together and my friend was talking about something that had happened to her horses as a result of her routine and number 3 finally called WHW.

He told me he had done this & it put me in a difficult position so I told my friend, it ended in a huge row during which she asked me if I thought she looked after her horses well. I said that I felt she didn't but I didn't think to the extent that WHW should be involved. Clearly she either took offence at this or thought I had been involved with calling WHW and we have not spoken from that day to this.

The thing is I was damned if I did & damned if I didn't. I told her because it gave her a chance to warn her YO and also because it wouldn't be a shock to her when they turned up. If I hadn't told her she would have come to me upset when it all happened and I would have had to tell her I knew they had been called but not said anything. I couldn't pretend not to know because she would have sussed me out straight away and also it would have come out at some point in the future that I was aware of it.

Looking back I don't think I would change what I did but I do regret how it all turned out. Just think everything through before you say anything and ask yourself how you would feel if it meant the end of a friendship.
 
Achilles tendons in human athletes can and do make full recoveries, and exercise is a recognised treatment protocol, as it promotes blood supply to the affected area. They can take years to heal fully and often hurt while doing so, that is not to say the pain is unbearable and limping can often be caused more by inflamation than pain. But exercise can help them heal more effectively, and tendon injuries are often not that painful as the blood supply to them can be poor - often the sensation is more of stiffness and not working properly.

I think you would have to be very sure of the exact nature of the injury and how much pain the horse is in before criticising. If the horse has been on box rest, then lunging would seem to be a way of increasing blood supply by exercise at an initial stage in a controlled environment.

I don't know enough about the veterinary science behind tendon injuries in horses but I would think it unlikely that a clean snapping of a tendon would heal without surgery. Is it possible it was a partial tear? In horses of course you also have the complication of them having to stand on it while it heals, but I wouldn't have thought it was impossible to heal in all cases.
 
Rather than saying you don't agree with what she is doing, she is not being fair to her horse etc. if the situation warrants it could you just say you are worried that the horse might be suffering....I would only say that if I had actually been there while the horse was being lunged and I could see that it was very lame, just in case it has been exaggerated. I certainly wouldn't rely on hearsay if it was going to risk losing a friend.

Good friends are really precious....I would be honest but gentle and let her know you are there to help her.......rather than criticise her.
 
I think there are ways to deal with things like this.
Ask her open questions when you see the horse worked, and get her to examine and look at any lameness in relation to pain and and any perceived recovery, through these questions.
The strong feelings you have about what shes doing, may be matched by the ones she has, to try everything to help her horse, in her eyes a good friend would support her. ( im not saying shes right, ive not seen the horse )
Best approached in a non confrontational way imo.
Sometimes its a cant see the wood for the trees job, and its not till you really start looking at it, and discussing what you are actually seeing in a clinical way when its right in front of you, that you really see whats happening.
 
I would shut up. My friend's can do what they like with their horses, if she has ignored two vet's opinions and has decided the route she has, I doubt she will thank you at all for your input.
 
Thank you all for your support. We already had a little tiff over it but I think you are right, I really ought to find out more and speak to her before making a judgement!
 
I wouldn't say anything, no. Firstly, do you know the full details of the injury and the amount of pain her horse is in? Secondly, your friend obviously loves her horse, or she would have had him PTS. Obviously, if he is suffering, he should have been, but I am assuming that he is comfortable or else the vet would have insisted on PTS for humane reasons, not just because he had a poor prognosis for return to work.

I have just started lunging my 17 year old mare who had a catestrophic Biceps brachii tendon injury two years ago. I am doing it for her sanity, not so I can ride her. But now that the turnout is restricted to 3 hours in the all weather a day, then it is not much of a life for a retired horse who really loves to work. It has taken two years for her to recover enough to cope with lunging in the pessoa, and she absolutely loves it. She bangs her door as soon as she sees the tack coming out. Now she is retired due to injury, but the way she has stood up to the lunging has completely surprised me. Her prognosis was so poor at one stage that she may not have even been sound enough to retire. I am taking it one day at a time and VERY gently, but it's looking promising. Who knows?
 
Personally I'd see for myself and know all the fact before coming to any conclusions. You say yourself you haven't seen the horse.

I have seen enough horses come sound after being written off by a vet, some even go on to lead productive lives.

Go see your friend with no pre conceived ideas and take along an open mind! :D
 
MrsD123 said:
Lame horses should not be lunged
Click to expand...

Not always so. It depends whether the lameness iss pain related or mechanical. If a horse is in pain then it should not be lunged. However, there is even exceptions to this if it is on vets orders. I am having to lunge my gelding right now because the vet wants his condition to show up on the bone scan he is having in a couple of weeks. Not what I like to do, and I take it very easy on him, but it is for his own sake and accuracy of his diagnosis.
 
My husband snapped his achille tendon and opted not to have surgery but was in plaster for 12 weeks. Not sure how this can be compared to box rest (!) as the plaster route works on the basis of plastering with toes pointed so that ends of tendon meet to "knit" and each week it is plastered so that it is slightly less pointed until foot is back in a normal position. He then exercised A LOT to get back to normal, this has taken about a year to get reasonable strength.

Exercise helped enormously and physio could not believe his progress. So in relation to a horse on / after box rest I don't know what the best course of action is.

Tread carefully or you could lose a friendship.
 
Wagtail said:
Not always so. It depends whether the lameness iss pain related or mechanical. If a horse is in pain then it should not be lunged. However, there is even exceptions to this if it is on vets orders. I am having to lunge my gelding right now because the vet wants his condition to show up on the bone scan he is having in a couple of weeks. Not what I like to do, and I take it very easy on him, but it is for his own sake and accuracy of his diagnosis.
Click to expand...
OK "lame horses will not come sound if lunged""
your vet wants to aggravate the condition by lungeing.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top