Family, friends and horses- ranty rant rant!

Meowy Catkin

Meowy Catkin

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I know that this has been mentioned on here before...

...but WHY do family members and friends think that it is perfectly within their rights to almost demand to have a 'horsey ride' when they visit? :confused:

Grrrrrr! :mad: I am not being horrible or selfish when I say 'no'. One of my cousins is a lovely boy and very keen on horses but he is very large and has never ridden before. My horses are a TB (retired), AA (injured) and an Arab (unbacked). I was quite happy for him to groom, bath and do some simple in-hand stuff with the two sound ones and he did this with great enjoyment.

However his Dad (my uncle, who I have always been frightened of) made it clear to me as they were leaving that next time they came, he expected his son to be able to ride. I said that I couldn't guarantee that that would happen.

Even if she was sound, I couldn't put someone that heavy on a 15.3hh (on her tippy-toes) lightweight horse (and why on Earth do they think that it would be fine anyway?), plus she isn't suitable for a novice off the leadrein.

It's happened to me several times before. Why is this? Family and friends never expect to be able to take my little Morris Minor for a spin, but I'm made to feel like **** for not letting them ride my horses.

Thanks for reading my vent. :)

PS. Maybe I should get a Ferrari and blind them with it's shiny redness! ;)
 
A very pushy friend - whom was a bit of a nasty rider, was insisting that she took one of mine to a show when hers was lame.... i said yes by all means, but when can i have a ride on your husband :) - that shut her up and she never asked again
 
Gingerwitch said:
A very pushy friend - whom was a bit of a nasty rider, was insisting that she took one of mine to a show when hers was lame.... i said yes by all means, but when can i have a ride on your husband :) - that shut her up and she never asked again
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PMSL! THat is the funniest comment I have ever read on here..!

If you don't want someone to ride the horse make up some strange illness - or ringworm!!!
 
Rant away dear - and join the club. When I first got my horse I would see red if anyone went near him, let alone ask to ride him (which they did). He was so badly treated and I've worked incredibly hard to get him where he is today - How? By not letting anyone near him! So why do they expect that they can freeking interfere when I'm grooming or riding him. During the first year I had real battles with my OH about this who thought I was being brattish. Now he knows better. My horse has never been lame, I got him as a 4 year old and now (after 4 years) he rides in a snaffle bit. He jumps, boxes and hacks and can do a pretty impressive dressage too.Not bad for a Anglo Arab stallion who couldn't turn right in trot or canter! I now have a reputation as someone who is deadly serious when it comes to my horses and they now leave me alone (on the most part). OMG, just realised I've hijacked your rant with my own rant!!!
 
A friend I hadn't seen for years asked me to teach her to ride on my boy! She hasn't seen him, doesn't know his size or anything about him. She was hoping to save money by not having to pay at local riding school. She would have been far too heavy for him.

Bl**dy cheek.

Jane
 
You are perfectly within your rights to tell them to stuff off, family &/0r overweight or not!! It's your horse, it's you who would have to foot the bills..

I would sit your uncle down and explain to him in a civil matter why you have concerns. if that does not work, I would suggest that you tell him he can pay any resulting bills, and if he wants his son to ride that badly then buy him his own blooming horse.

Of course, I'm always told I react to quickly... If they come often, maybe you could have a discreet chat with your cousin about his weight? I don't know. Families are flipping awkward!! :D
 
someone recently said to me, can I ride your horse, and I said, looking at you, I think it highly unlikely.

I would get your uncle to sign a disclaimer against his son getting injured/killed and an undertaking to pay any resulting vets fees for the horse. And then say you're just going to phone your insurance company to get his name put on the policy (well he wont' know, will he?) and obviously he'll have to pay the admin charge, and the increased premium. Ooooh? For a beginner? (sucks teeth) Maybe £150 - £200...
 
skewbald_again said:
someone recently said to me, can I ride your horse, and I said, looking at you, I think it highly unlikely.

I would get your uncle to sign a disclaimer against his son getting injured/killed and an undertaking to pay any resulting vets fees for the horse. And then say you're just going to phone your insurance company to get his name put on the policy (well he wont' know, will he?) and obviously he'll have to pay the admin charge, and the increased premium. Ooooh? For a beginner? (sucks teeth) Maybe £150 - £200...
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Haha that's brilliant! :D
 
I would get your uncle to sign a disclaimer against his son getting injured/killed and an undertaking to pay any resulting vets fees for the horse. And then say you're just going to phone your insurance company to get his name put on the policy (well he wont' know, will he?) and obviously he'll have to pay the admin charge, and the increased premium. Ooooh? For a beginner? (sucks teeth) Maybe £150 - £200...
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Good idea SA. :)

I have just mentioned to my Dad how I've always felt uneasy around my uncle and he's just told me that he used to hit my Mum when they were children and he also beat up his first wife.

I had wondered about finding out about my local RS's and seeing if they had any nice weight carriers sutable for novices. Then if the subject comes up next time, I could book a lesson at the RS and say that my mare would be too naughty (therefore not upsetting my nice cousin) and that I didn't want him to get hurt.
 
Teach horse to roll or lay down on command. Put him on, let him get thrown straight off and then he probably won't want to ride any more. Other wise just explain that your horses aren't for beginners and it would be a bit dangerous. How annoying. Grr
 
Faracat said:
Good idea SA. :)

I have just mentioned to my Dad how I've always felt uneasy around my uncle and he's just told me that he used to hit my Mum when they were children and he also beat up his first wife.

I had wondered about finding out about my local RS's and seeing if they had any nice weight carriers sutable for novices. Then if the subject comes up next time, I could book a lesson at the RS and say that my mare would be too naughty (therefore not upsetting my nice cousin) and that I didn't want him to get hurt.
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He sounds like a handful... But that sounds sensible to me! :D
 
I think its a great idea to take him to an RS for a lesson rather than be pushed around by your uncle. The lad is probably pushed around by his dad too.

Families can suck, and i feel for you. x
 
I find that no family members or friends want to ride either of my horses. Mainly because I curse them both so much that they must come across as complete nightmares :D

I agree with skewbald :)
 
Rant away, I completely feel your frustration!

My boy has just been backed and he will be home next weekend. I have been working on my riding for the last year to make sure I'm good enough for him, really getting my balance and aids down so I can keep everything black and white.

OH keeps bugging me to ride him, and now his mother has joined in, and they cannot understand why I say no! I love my OH but he is a happy go lucky rider, he's been learning for the last year and yes, is coming on well, but he's not so worried about the technical stuff and is all about the fun, which is completely fine on a horse that's been there and done that and understands. Harry is not that type of horse!

No matter how much I try to explain how crucial it is to have the knowledge of how to ride and how it is implemented, it's just not getting through, and I'm being made to feel bad because I won't let him have his way. I love my coblet and I hope to do everything with him, so I don't want him ruined.

I just wish non-horsey people would understand.... *sigh*

*hugs* to you and stay firm, they are your horses, your money and your hobby!
 
Gingerwitch said:
A very pushy friend - whom was a bit of a nasty rider, was insisting that she took one of mine to a show when hers was lame.... i said yes by all means, but when can i have a ride on your husband :) - that shut her up and she never asked again
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Brilliant but what if she said yes ? Is he fit or a minger ?
 
Tell him its fine to ride so long as he doesn't mind his son being splatted :) Ok, so maybe your horse is better behaved than that, but do they know that?

Or tell them she has a really low weight limit due to a previous problem with her back/legs/whatever so it just won't be possible. They can't really argue with that if the care anything about the horse, by the sounds of things your cousin will be ok with that?

Like the idea about finding a suitable RS.
 
don't even own a horse and people do this to me i was helping a lady exercise her horse whilst she couldn't ride and my flat mate who knows nothing about horses riding or otherwise suggested she came to to have a go! i said no as it wasn't my horse obviously but still its not a bike that you can hop on and have a go and nothing will happen
 
I feel your pain. I am lucky to have 2 horses, one of which is suitable for people to have a go on but can take the mickey being lazy with them. I get text's/phone calls like crazy at this time of year from people expecting to be able to come and ride. They just want to turn up, ride the horse and then go home and at a time that suits them, not me or the horse. No offer of help mucking out, poo picking field etc. And when I say no, they get the ar*e with me.

I politely point out that it is me that does all the hard work caring for the horse throughout the year and that maybe I would like to be able to enjoy the nice weather riding my horse myself. Plus I now also have a wonderful sharer. If they would like to come down in the rain/snow/freezing weather in the winter to help, then they can ride then instead.

Think your idea of booking a riding lesson for your nephew is the best idea.
 
I made the mistake once of simply mentioning that I was teaching my mare to lunge and the next thing my mum's friend states that next time her granddaughter (5yo) is down she will ride my mare! Somehow I think an unbacked pony would not be suitable for a 5yo who once had a sit on a shetland at a petting zoo!
 
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