Fashion Tips for the Discerning Horsey Woman

I live in skinny jeans, long sleeve tops in winter, various fleeces/hoodies from outlet places so very cheap.

The jeans and fleeces are warn three days unless it's raining or gotten super dirty. Clean tops on everyday. I have my hkm leather long boots too.

I hate looking untiy what ever the place so I always make sure I'm comfy but look nice too.

What does that make me? :D will add the horsey coat gets washed twice a winter
 
I have two looks'....

Equi-skank ensemble involves breeches with busted zip, carrier bags lining my wellies a musto coat with ripped armpits (both so matching really). Plus an eye watering stench that I am immune to but which quite quickly fills the local shop, especially if there's a queue.

I like to look nice when I ride through, cos my horse is handsome and it would be a bit like good looking guy with ugly girlfriend scenario. So my current faves are denim breeches, coniston boots and a Toggi coat.
 
Currently wearing smart black trousers, black patent heels, a cream blouse and a pink cardigan. I'm at work on a Sunday, wishing I was sporting the dirty breeches and smelly jacket look but I no longer have a horse to play with :(
 
I do wonder where all the pristine elegant riders I see out hacking come from then !
I currently have a pair of jods with the zip permanently at half mast, sweatshirt with white dog hair and horse snot down one sleeve.
The piece de resistance is the wellies with asda carrier bags inside to keep my feet dry with the handles flapping out of the top, great talking point in the supermarket.
I do feel that I am ready for meeting the Queen compared with you lot though
 
I walked into the petrol station the other day, it had been raining & had a mud soaked coat on, poo stained joggers & odd socks, then realised when I got back into the car I had mud splatter on my face & hay in my hair !! they guy said have you just finished work... I was like no I think I would be kicked out of work looking like this, I've been to do the horses. He then said oh you have horses you must be posh.
I looked down at myself & thought nope, pretty sure posh people wear matching socks !!
 
Once, when I was a lot younger, I went to do my pony and fell in the mud. I was covered in it and when I went to catch the bus home the driver said "you aren't bringing all that mud on my bus" and wouldn't let me on so I had to walk all the way home :(
 
I do wonder where all the pristine elegant riders I see out hacking come from then !

Those are the teflon girls. Their horses are full clipped even the legs on a TB so no hair to moult and nothing for mud to stick to, not that they turn out in mud anyway only dry days with a full neck turnout and brushing boots so hardly any mud and stabled on shavings beds kept white so not much smell. Feed competition mix and chaff instead of messy mushy feed and haylage instead of soaked hay. And their shiney new clothes fit. Ancient saggy jodhs and baggy fleeces do not make anybody look elegant!
 
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I just popped into my corner shop apres-yard and for once wasn't the worst dressed in there.

Large lady, wearing shocking pink dressing gown, PJ bottoms and leopard print slippers.

That's gotta trump my fleece, breeches and boots.


Although I was probably smellier.......
 
On the subject of fleeces, why do any of you wear them everything sticks to them! I refuse to wear a fleece


And me! I detest them even though they are warm. I only have one and that is because it has reflective print on it so it is useful and it is a good one too that hardly anything sticks to. I much prefer hoodies.
 
All my "best" equi skank pieces (and daughter's) have gone in the washing machine tonight after we got totally soaked and mudded whilst providing the pony's evening meal. As we went to find him the sky turned black and by the time my daughter was leading him in we had full-on sideways rain and large hailstones. The wind/ mini-tornado brought down a small tree and the telephone wire onto the entrance to the yard (luckily there's a track that loops round to the entrance so we all still had access to/from yard). So now I'm wondering if my little washing machine will cope and if future technology could provide a super-deep-cleanse/industrial strength power wash programme especially for equi skank and of course a horsehair proof filter....
 
It all makes sense when you are down the yard but on the supermarket stop off on the way back I suspect that I must look like a vagrant to the other shoppers.
 
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