Fed up of being blamed for things I haven't done

Polos

Polos

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I am so annoyed, tonight I got blamed for something else I hadn't done again by a particular fellow livery. Someone keeps forgetting to lock the tack room and main gate and tonight has been the third time she has blamed it on me and told the other liveries that it was me.Luckily, the other liveries have told her it wasn't me as they saw me locking up when I had finished. My YM believes me and the other liveries.
She is a teacher and I am 17 and she tries to use her teacher tactics on me. For example she always waits until my mum has gone and I am alone before coming up to me and speaking down to me in a patronizing tone. I try to always be polite to others and I do the same for her but she doesn't seem to return it. I have recently been having a hard time with my horse and I am sick of the endless snide comments about my horse and my ability and then the constant boasting about how fabulous her and her horse is. I know I am not perfect and I don't claim to be but I always ask for help if I need it.

I just don't know what to do as I am sick of this.
 
I'm a teacher, and frequently use my teacher voice in inappropriate places - it's so much a part of me. My now grown up daughter used to look down her nose at me and say in an exaggeratedly polite voice 'please don't treat me like one of your pupils, Mother'. Might be worth a try - without the mother bit obviously!
 
Tell your mum, what has been happening as this is a form of bullying and as a teacher she knows this. Also could be a little jealous and remember you can just ignore her, start taking photos on your phone when you lock up as that not only shows that you have done is but also time and date.:D
 
I know how this is!! I was blamed for 3 ponies coming in with cuts (well, Ned was) I tried to tell them I had seen others chasing and Ned was actually in another field at the time, but they didn't want any of it!
No one saw him do it, so I don't understand why he was blamed! He doesn't really fight either :(
It feels rubbish being blamed! I don't know what to suggest, but good luck and I hope she stops!
 
Oh hun this is bullying. talk to your mum BUT most of all be the bigger person. Having been bullied both as a youngster and adult its so so hard but ignore her comments. smile politly and just ignore. think of other things your beautiful horse for example. that will make you smile. explain to a few choice people at yard whats happening so they will support you. bullying is awful but you can rise above it. pm me if you wosh but remember think of your horse and smile :) x
 
Some teaching friends of mine can't turn off "teaching mode", even with friends. I frequently feel as if I am being addressed as a 6 year old! So maybe she can't help it/doesn't realise she is coming across like that. I am also a teacher and I hope I don't do it too much (although my husband pulls me up and does it back - but 10 times worse if he catches me!).

If you feel she is targeting you though, I agree - either have a word with her yourself or ask a parent to if you don't feel confident.
 
Ugh, how horrible for you! I know how the "teacher tactics" feel, I get that from a couple of older people at my yard who always have snide comments to say to me as long as my mum is out of earshot, it's maddening! I know it's difficult but I would just ignore, ignore, ignore whilst everyone else at your yard and especially your YM believe you rather than her. Good luck! :)
 
swilliam said:
I'm a teacher, and frequently use my teacher voice in inappropriate places - it's so much a part of me. My now grown up daughter used to look down her nose at me and say in an exaggeratedly polite voice 'please don't treat me like one of your pupils, Mother'. Might be worth a try - without the mother bit obviously!
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Thank you, I think I'll try that.

I'll start taking pictures on my phone to prove I have locked up. My YM lives right by the main gate so she can see when the gate is being locked.

My mum knows what's going on as I have told her what has happened. My YM is a really good friend of ours and has warned her not to do it again.

I quite often try to go to the yard straight after school when I know she won't be there but today I missed my bus so was later getting there. When I first got there there was no one else there so I set up some poles in the school to do some polework. I had been in there about 15 minutes before she arrived, tacked up and came into the school tutting and glaring at me. She stayed for about 10 minutes before leaving and saying she didn't want to be in the school with an unpredictable horse (he only bucked once going into canter!). I know the school is for everyone to use but if I am doing things like this I try to come up when no one else will be up and I try to set it up so there is plenty of room for another horse to work. Unfortunately you can't book the school unless you are having a lesson so I try to work around everyone else.

There is another girl who is a couple of years younger than me that has been at the yard for about 7 years and she doesn't seem to do it to her. I have been at the yard almost a year now so I don't know whether it's because I am one of the newest liveries there.
 
amymay said:
Why isnt the ym locking up??
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It's just a yard rule that the last one out locks the main gate and you have to lock the tack room after you have used it regardless of anyone else is still on the yard. She has just had an operation so it is hard for her to do it at the moment.
 
Lol at her comment re unpredictable horse. how does she cope at shows in collecting rings. seriously hun you sound like a nice young lady who is thinking about others . dont let one grumpy mare spoil your time at yard . please. YO knows you well so come on put a smile on your face. ok a bit vulgar im sorry but some advice told to me many many years ago was "if some one upsets you just think of them sat on toilet" yes vulgar but sure as made me laugh many many times over years :) smile :)
 
Please talk to your YO/YM about this, one of them needs to speak to the livery and ask her if she has a problem that she tells them about it and they will sort it out. Obviously if she tells them that you have left the gate unlocked and they know that you haven't, they will say so, which should put her back in her box.
I am a teacher and 'the voice' is very useful on occasions but completely inappropriate in this situation. As others have said, the fact that she waits until your Mum has gone makes this sound like bullying.
 
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