Fed up of life and horses atm...

C

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Right, so just need a whinge, I've just about had enough today.

Situation - I'm currently working part time, with the odd full day, but working hours can change at short notice (ie swap over to morning or afternoons). Horse on basic yard on grass livery, as it's all I can afford. Horse and I are both on rehab programmes for old injuries.

I haven't slept properly for a while. Finished work today and all I wanted to do was get into bed and sleep. Finish most days tierd from work, and it's not overly stressful. Forced myself to the yard. Took horses tack thinking I will force myself to lunge him.

Get there and it starts tipping it down. A basic feed and pick feet out left me soaked to the skin and plastered in mud from head to toe, and no work done with horse. (Really couldn't be bothered by the time I was sodden. I also have no access to stables so horse would have a tantrum by the time rugs taken off, tack put on and taken to the school, and wouldn't have resulted in anything productive whatsoever.)

This horse has literally done 20 minutes of work since the start of December. Not helping the rehab, and literally making me mad as its a waste of time (not to mention money). Been one thing after another, abscesses, bad back, bad teeth, shoes dropping off, rubbish weather, work changing at the last minute. To be quite frank I've had more than enough of it.

Added on top of that my own rehab has gone to pot, I just can't be bothered as I'm so tierd all the time. I am going to have to book an appointment with the doctor; I eat healthy, don't drink much caffeine or booze, and don't stare at my phone before I go to bed.

Clearly it would also help if I could move yards to facilities that are more suitable for what I want, but I simply can't afford it :(
 
Do you think you might be vitamin D/B12/iron deficient? They can make a huge difference not only to fatigue but also mood, worth getting them checked out. Do your own research, the NHS isn't that good when it comes to optimum levels, some of the Facebook groups are knowledgeable and helpful.
And rehab apart, horses and work really don't go together at this time of year - I accept the inevitable and give mine a break until spring really does spring. Could you do that?
 
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Can definitely empathise, have been there a few times this winter when it's all just no fun at all. And I frickin hate part time jobs that switch the Rota around constantly, it just isn't fair cos you can't plan anything! Might as well work full time and get benefit of being paid for not to be able to plan anything.

I would definitely go and speak to a doctor about bring tired and not sleeping. It's good to rule out anything physical. I would also give the horse another month completely off before worrying about starting his rehab. Another month just being in the field won't do any harm and it takes the pressure off you. Then all you have to do is check, feed and pick feet. Then you'll maybe have more energy when you get home to concentrate on getting yourself fixed.
 
Does your Horse have to be in work right now? Obviously I don't know what his injuries were but could he just be left for a month or so? takes pressure from you then as you don't have to ride. I would also get yourself to the doctors for blood tests just in case you are deficient as the above poster has also mentioned. Winter is certainly a hard time to own a Horse but please keep in mind we are over the worst of it and spring is just around the corner.
 
I know the feeling. I am constantly knackered and really cant be bothered to get on and ride but I force myself too as i am desperate to get out and show our novice hunter this year. it is a real struggle and I dont think this forever changing weather helps. Sick to death of being freezing cold and covered in mud/ice/snow/s**t. But hang in there....spring/summer is just around the corner (apparently) and winter will all be forgotten about. then we can all set about complaining about flies ;)
 
You probably have a bit of SAD thrown in on top. To be honest, it sounds grim, I'd halt any thoughts of rehab for horse and tick over till Spring when things will get easier all round. And don't beat yourself up, horse won't mind, and you need some "me" time....
 
Nearly spring! Hang in there. Your horse will do fine and will enjoy living out if he is anything like mine. Nearly spring!
 
Agree about SAD, winter always makes me feel very down. I hate being cold and hate being wet. Think we mind the weather much more than the horses. Mine prefers being out in the rain over rugs/stables anyday. Have a nice hot bath and glass of wine :-). Soon the bluebells will come up and spring will arrive and then you’ll forget how awful this time of year is again!
 
Sorry you are having a tough time.
As others have said, take pressure off yourself by not feeling you have to do something with your horse. Wait until the weather is a bit better and there are more hours of daylight.
Take yourself to the Dr, maybe a short course of sleeping pills would help. Not sleeping can be a bit of a habit, you expect not to sleep, get more tired and more stressed.
Hope things get better for you soon.
 
Hey - you're only human, you should give yourself a break.

Winter is incredibly hard in the UK and we've had a pretty cr*ppy one at that, let's face it. If you're feeling sad and down that's just going to tire you out more. I can COMPLETELY empathise with you as I don't have any drive to ride at all at the moment and that doesn't mean that I don't love my horse or that I've lost my love for riding it just means after a long day at work (which is mentally exhausting) I don't always want to go to the yard and ride. It doesn't make me a bad person or a bad horse owner, it makes me a hard working human.

You need to remember that you're working, you're working through rehab and you have a horse - you're doing remarkably well! It's winter and the weather has been rubbish, so give yourself a break and get a chocolate bar. We judge ourselves too much and as long as your horse is loved and looked after to the best of your ability, you're doing the best you can - so stop critiquing yourself :)
 
Don't beat yourself up about it. The weather really has been pants and even though I've got an indoor school it is hard some days to get up the motivation to ride. I work full time in a demanding job which entails me being away from home two days a week so with that plus the slog of mucking out four stables I am starting to wonder why I do it. In fact one of my horses has been out of work since May last year - she is happy as larry - as I just don't have the commitment to keep so many in work.

Spring is not far away - or so I keep telling myself - so things should start to get better.
 
It’s the worse time of year to own a horse it a long haul through winter and and lots of people are running on empty by now .
Spring and easier times are just round the corner .
 
Just to add, add as an insomniacs and SAD sufferer, what helps me the most is aerobic exercise to burn off stress and help me sleep (perhaps not possible with your injury?) Also I have a (Lumie) SAD lamp, which I use for at least an hour as early as possible in the morning to reset my circadian rhythm and help my SAD.
When my sleep is really disrupted I take Nytol for a couple of nights to reset it.
As others have said, try and take the pressure off and remember spring is around the corner.
 
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Thankj. You for all the kind wordsz. Been asleep since five and I feel a lot better.
Horse ideally needs the rehab in order for me to decide if I'm going to keeps or sell, and it will also help him straight away as very weak in certain areas
 
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