Fed up rant :(

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Araboo27

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Friends....who'd have them? Non horsey ones of course. My best friend is getting married and has got her millionth wedding dress appointment on Saturday at 1pm. No one else will go with her so yet again it's falling on me, not that I mind but you know - I have a busy life, three homeschooled kids, I'm at uni and have got the two ponies. I've got a show on Sunday so could do with spending all sat at the yard! Yes I could cancel going to the appt but I can't let her go alone.

Fed up of trying to balance everything and my friends not understanding my pony commitments :(
 
Why can't you let her go alone? She's a grown-up yes? You have enough on your plate by the sound of it. Put yourself first for a change. Or at least promise yourself that if you do go with her this is the last time.
 
I know it's a pain but she's your friend and you could just go for the appointment and head back. It's what friends do for each other, it's a very important time for her. It won't take that long.
 
Why do you need to go though if it's just another fitting? Understandable if she was choosing a dress but not if its just checking the alterations are ok and it fits well. That's what the seamstress is for imo.
 
Sukistokes2 said:
I know it's a pain but she's your friend and you could just go for the appointment and head back. It's what friends do for each other, it's a very important time for her. It won't take that long.
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I've made it clear this time (in a nice way!) that I can only come to the appointment and will need to leave straight after. The other times it's been an all day thing with lunch/tea and drinks :(

It's not a dress fitting unfortunately, this is about the 8th shop she's been to and still can't decide on a dress! I know if it were me getting married then she'd support me as much as possible, that's what good friends do isn't it. I'm not happy with the other bridesmaids for their lack of help, I've got the busiest life and the most commitments yet it's all falling on me :(

Kezzabell2 - I've had a break and only got the ponies this year, I'll let you know if I have any friends after another couple of years, lol
 
I've realised recently that my non horsey friends are falling by the wayside, bit petty of me but I haven't contacted my "best" friend since July, I usually try and meet up with her every couple of weeks, I hoped she would contact me, but as yet she hasn't. :(

Enjoy your friend's big day as much as you can!
 
I think I only have horsey friends right now! They're the only ones who seem to understand that, generally, I don't have the time to go out and get drunk every other night. Plus I'm definitely getting too old for it ;)
 
But if she is your "best friend" you should be able to say that your time is precious too and you can't just drop everything to go dress shopping with her. Can't she take her mother?
 
your BEST friend is preparing for the biggest day of her life (as far as she/we know) and you begrudge attending an appointment to support her-being horsey has nothing to do with it and to be honest you don't sound like much of a friend at all-you sound sultry and selfish to me.

why would you not want to support your friend? you could be the person who shares the amazing moment that she first sees the dress that makes her feel like a million dollars.

for the record; for my wedding I bought a dress from next I went on my own and it was not a big event for me but I would support a friend all the way with choosing one if it was important to THEM.
 
Maybe suggest that as you are coming to help her find a dress, she might like to come & help you at the show the next day! I wonder what her answer will be?

I've never got my head around taking people to help you find a wedding dress. For me it was about finding the dress that I loved & I felt amazing in. I didn't need 'help' or anyone else's opinion.
Also on the wedding day it felt very special knowing that NO-ONE was going to know how I looked 😊
 
OP she's all wrapped up in the wedding. Talk to her and ask her next time she wants to go dress shopping with your help, to sort out a suitable day/time with you and not just book an appointment to suit herself then expect everyone else to fit in. And I'd be giving the rest of the bridesmaids a serious kick up the butt about supporting the bride, who cares if they don't like you after, it sounds like you already don't like them much so what's to lose.
 
twiggy2 said:
your BEST friend is preparing for the biggest day of her life (as far as she/we know) and you begrudge attending an appointment to support her-being horsey has nothing to do with it and to be honest you don't sound like much of a friend at all-you sound sultry and selfish to me.

why would you not want to support your friend? you could be the person who shares the amazing moment that she first sees the dress that makes her feel like a million dollars.

for the record; for my wedding I bought a dress from next I went on my own and it was not a big event for me but I would support a friend all the way with choosing one if it was important to THEM.
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How dare you insult me like that, I'm totally gobsmacked - what world do you live in? Read the previous comments? Are you suggesting that I sacrifice my own life and commitments? I've done EVERYTHING with her so far when no one else will, even her sister.

You know what, this isn't even about my capabilities as a friend, it was about maintaining friendships when non horsey friends don't understand. Please refrain from posting again, I can only assume it would be more of the same rude and insulting garbage.
 
Weddings have got out of hand - the preparation often lasts longer than the marriage. If she's old enough to get married she's old enough to buy a dress. A good friend of mine was paying off the loan she had to take out for two daughters' fairytale weddings for much longer than either marriage lasted.
I know I'm a cynic, but am I the only person who thinks it's the relationship that matters, not the photos and the frock.
 
twiggy2 said:
your BEST friend is preparing for the biggest day of her life (as far as she/we know) and you begrudge attending an appointment to support her-being horsey has nothing to do with it and to be honest you don't sound like much of a friend at all-you sound sultry and selfish to me.

why would you not want to support your friend? you could be the person who shares the amazing moment that she first sees the dress that makes her feel like a million dollars.

for the record; for my wedding I bought a dress from next I went on my own and it was not a big event for me but I would support a friend all the way with choosing one if it was important to THEM.
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This is so far a fairly short thread so before getting so obnoxious could you not have read all the posts ?

OP said she was happy to support her friend as that was what friends do but was a bit peeved that other friends weren't doing the same. So the rant is more about the friends that won't go than it is about the friend whose wedding it is. To be honest if its 8th time of going I too would be a little miffed.

To OP why not suggest your friend comes and helps you bath and plait your ponies in the morning ready for the show, so that you aren't so pushed for time in the afternoon for wedding dress shopping.
 
Lizzie66 said:
This is so far a fairly short thread so before getting so obnoxious could you not have read all the posts ?
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I read all the posts before posting but maybe my post was a bit sharp, I just never like the whole posting on a forum about something that should be discussed with people involved and don't quite understand the horsey friends verses non horsey friends and wanting to put a pampering pony day ahead of a best friends wedding dress shopping.
OP sorry if you don't like my response but I said 'you sound like...' not you are and I stand by that.
 
twiggy2 said:
I read all the posts before posting but maybe my post was a bit sharp, I just never like the whole posting on a forum about something that should be discussed with people involved and don't quite understand the horsey friends verses non horsey friends and wanting to put a pampering pony day ahead of a best friends wedding dress shopping.
OP sorry if you don't like my response but I said 'you sound like...' not you are and I stand by that.
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...sorry but wedding dress shopping for the '8 th time ' would have me running for the hills!!!!! It's a dress for goodness sake (an important one yes) but still.

I bought mine alone - on eBay - and still felt a million dollars (but that's just me!).

Op .. I feel your pain, yes you want to support, but it should be when you are free and able to go. Or someone else should go. You have things to do too!
 
twiggy2 said:
I read all the posts before posting but maybe my post was a bit sharp, I just never like the whole posting on a forum about something that should be discussed with people involved and don't quite understand the horsey friends verses non horsey friends and wanting to put a pampering pony day ahead of a best friends wedding dress shopping.
OP sorry if you don't like my response but I said 'you sound like...' not you are and I stand by that.
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This. I'd be appalled if my 'best friend' posted it on a public forum too.
 
sarahw123 said:
This. I'd be appalled if my 'best friend' posted it on a public forum too.
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Yes, with hindsight I shouldn't have done that but luckily I know she'll never see it. Initially it was more of a general grumble about friends in general rather than a tirade about the wedding :(
 
Treasure your best friend. I can see how the evident indecision on her part is irritating (when I got married a million years ago, I took no time choosing my dress - but then I dislike clothes shopping a lot!)

But - I lost my best friend 5 years ago when she was 45. She died in her sleep.

So if she really is your best friend, humour her. Imagine how excited she'll be when she does find "the" dress. You'll have been part of that excitement.

Ponies are great, but there will be more pony days; true friends are better, and you never know what's around the corner.
 
mytwofriends said:
Treasure your best friend. I can see how the evident indecision on her part is irritating (when I got married a million years ago, I took no time choosing my dress - but then I dislike clothes shopping a lot!)

But - I lost my best friend 5 years ago when she was 45. She died in her sleep.

So if she really is your best friend, humour her. Imagine how excited she'll be when she does find "the" dress. You'll have been part of that excitement.

Ponies are great, but there will be more pony days; true friends are better, and you never know what's around the corner.
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Well said, that's so true. I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. I love her to bits and it's probably the lack of support from the other bridesmaids that's getting to me as well. I really want the pony to do well on Sunday, she's for sale and I'm keen to get some nice pics and a good result to add to her advert. Conscious that winter is approaching and the pony buying market is dwindling.

Thanks for putting things into perspective, it's much appreciated. X
 
Araboo27 said:
Well said, that's so true. I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. I love her to bits and it's probably the lack of support from the other bridesmaids that's getting to me as well. I really want the pony to do well on Sunday, she's for sale and I'm keen to get some nice pics and a good result to add to her advert. Conscious that winter is approaching and the pony buying market is dwindling.

Thanks for putting things into perspective, it's much appreciated. X
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No problem at all!

I can definitely understand how the lack of help by the bridesmaids must be annoying you.

With any luck it'll be 8th time lucky, your friend will be thrilled with her purchase and you'll be free to be on pony duty. A potential win/win (maybe!)
 
aintgotnohay said:
be a hermit like me SIMPLES and then spend all time with your horse and just have casual buddies! since i did this my life is so simple.
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Your not wrong ! I thought it was just me LOL ! I have given up with trying to fit in with non-horsey friends ! true friends don't mind if they haven't seen you fro 6 months you pick up where you left off !
 
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