feel guilty for putting my pony up for sale, is it the right thing to do?

S

skye01

Active Member
Joined
16 April 2018
Messages
45
Visit site
So last night i put my pony up for sale and i feel extremely guilty and always finding myself holding back tears.
I have had him for the past four years. He is the sweetest pony going, my mum isn't horsey ( but always helps me out down the yard) and even she cried when we discussed selling him. He is like our little child.
I'm selling him due to the fact we brought him to do showjumping on and he is very spooky, everyone told me to keep going out and do a lot of training but that gradually brought us to fours years forward and no change. Funnily he always jumps training but not at shows, so i hold on to hope that things might change, which i think is why i am feeling so guilty. Sadly jumping is what i really want to do which is why he is up for sale but i honestly feel awful and it just doesn't feel right. Am i doing the right thing to sell him?
 
Sometimes selling them to a home that is more suitable is best for the pony as well as the rider, if he does not enjoy showjumping and you are not going to give up on your ambitions then it probably is best for him as long as you are totally honest and find him a home that will want him to do what he is good at then there is no reason to feel guilty for selling him.
Some just do not want to do the job they were bought for so you either change their job or move them on to someone who will appreciate them for what they can do, it is your decision but you will probably both be happier if he finds a more suitable home and you find a more suitable pony that will enjoy showjumping.
 
If he's not the pony for you there is nothing to feel guilty about.
I am a believer in trying to work through a problem rather than just giving up at the first hurdle, but four years is definitely long enough to say you've tried! Maybe he just isn't a "jumping pony" - sometimes they don't enjoy the same things we do. Even horses with excellent showjumping bloodlines, produced by professional riders etc don't always make showjumpers!
What does he do at shows? Have you asked anyone else to compete him for you (an instructor maybe) and if so do they have the same issues?
 
Its perfectly natural to feel guilty, weepy and conflicted. These are more than tools which are not quite right for the job - they are pets. But BP is also right - if he isn't a right fit for you then he too might be happier elsewhere. I have sold on (or returned leased) ponies for ages during DD's junior BS career. But when it came to her last 148 who was a massive pet we kept him and tried to re-set him for hunting and eventing. We had 2 years of it really not working, doing everything we could but he was a sensitive soul with a really difficult history and we wanted to do everything we could to avoid selling him on. Fast forward 2 more years - he is happily in Sweden (of all places!) on their FEI Junior team. He is far happier doing what he was good at - rather than what we wanted to do. (And DD has a lovely hunter and a baby connie and is perfectly happy doing what she does.) In hindsight I should have sold two years before and not put us all through that - but you live and learn.

Upshot - it is really tough. And I suspect more so when you are young. But you are making the right decisions. And a really mature one. Yes you will feel rotten about it from time to time. You don't need to - but you will. Its natural. Just keep reminding yourself you are doing the right thing for both pony and you. It will come out OK in the end!
 
Depends how much you want to jump. Horses are an awful lot of work and money if you aren't really enjoying what your doing. I think its really important the horse enjoys the same stuff as you. I like drag hunting and also endurance, i bought a horse that hasn't done either. She has been great hunting but I don't know yet if endurance will be her thing. If it's not we'll do something else as I'm not too fussed. But I would have been fussed if I couldn't hunt her. If jumpings what you like makes sense to have a horse that wants to do it and equally a horse to be doing things it likes
 
joosie said:
If he's not the pony for you there is nothing to feel guilty about.
I am a believer in trying to work through a problem rather than just giving up at the first hurdle, but four years is definitely long enough to say you've tried! Maybe he just isn't a "jumping pony" - sometimes they don't enjoy the same things we do. Even horses with excellent showjumping bloodlines, produced by professional riders etc don't always make showjumpers!
What does he do at shows? Have you asked anyone else to compete him for you (an instructor maybe) and if so do they have the same issues?
Click to expand...

He is such a sweetheart and loves a good jump at home and at training which is what i find the most annoying :( i can train him up to 1.05 at home, with fillers but if i go out and do 70cm i struggle to get him around, he just shoves a good stop in. We have had physio lady, back checked, teeth and saddle etc all done. We had my frieidn riding who competes bsja and doing europeans and he did shove a stop in for her. Just feel a little heart broken as he is my little baby really.
 
Peter7917 said:
Absolutely the right thing to do. Nothing beats that feeling when you both enjoy it and feel like a partnership.
Click to expand...

My riding teacher said the exact thing. We have such a partnership on the floor and flat work but when jumps go up we definitely change and that probably where the problem lays.
 
huskydamage said:
Depends how much you want to jump. Horses are an awful lot of work and money if you aren't really enjoying what your doing. I think its really important the horse enjoys the same stuff as you. I like drag hunting and also endurance, i bought a horse that hasn't done either. She has been great hunting but I don't know yet if endurance will be her thing. If it's not we'll do something else as I'm not too fussed. But I would have been fussed if I couldn't hunt her. If jumpings what you like makes sense to have a horse that wants to do it and equally a horse to be doing things it likes
Click to expand...

My mum said that as she really wants me to enjoy it. My problem is he loves to jump and it's only at show which seems to be the issue. We brought him to go BSJA as that's always what i have wanted to do but for some reason it just hasn't worked out. He loves his flat work which is what we are selling him as :(
 
Shay said:
Its perfectly natural to feel guilty, weepy and conflicted. These are more than tools which are not quite right for the job - they are pets. But BP is also right - if he isn't a right fit for you then he too might be happier elsewhere. I have sold on (or returned leased) ponies for ages during DD's junior BS career. But when it came to her last 148 who was a massive pet we kept him and tried to re-set him for hunting and eventing. We had 2 years of it really not working, doing everything we could but he was a sensitive soul with a really difficult history and we wanted to do everything we could to avoid selling him on. Fast forward 2 more years - he is happily in Sweden (of all places!) on their FEI Junior team. He is far happier doing what he was good at - rather than what we wanted to do. (And DD has a lovely hunter and a baby connie and is perfectly happy doing what she does.) In hindsight I should have sold two years before and not put us all through that - but you live and learn.

Upshot - it is really tough. And I suspect more so when you are young. But you are making the right decisions. And a really mature one. Yes you will feel rotten about it from time to time. You don't need to - but you will. Its natural. Just keep reminding yourself you are doing the right thing for both pony and you. It will come out OK in the end!
Click to expand...

Thank you! Just what i needed to hear really. He is fabulous at flat work and just come 5th at champions with me last weekend. Sadly as much as i do love dressage i love my jumping. He does love his jumping i think he would suit someone who would just jump for fun or at a lower level. I think i am also finding it harder as my family adores him, my mum doesn't usually do a lot but muck out and maybe help me tack up but she will now go down in the evenings if im ever ill or at work and do him. I just want whats best for him and hope he goes to a lovely home!
 
Its so hard isn't it, when I was young we had jumping ponies and as I grew up and moved out of their heights they had to be sold, its heart-breaking but every horse I have ever sold had gone on to amazing homes that suited their new owners purposes, if you want to compete and you cant afford to collect pets along the way it just has to be done.
Last year I sold an absolutely beautiful horse, I cried for 3 days but it was the right thing to do as I was swamped time wise and I have not once regretted it, she is so so loved now and hopefully in a forever home which I couldn't give her.
 
If show jumping is really your aim then best to sell on. However, if you really love him could you not find what he is really good at? Dressage goes very well with some thing like long distance and you can build up a wonderful partnership getting out and about.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top