Feel let down by dealer/friend

beeswax

beeswax

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Can i have a rant, cos if i don't i am likely to send a text instead and it could upset someone whom i don't want to fall out with but feel they have let me down. I bought a horse through a dealer/friend but have also been in contact with its owner and included in the sale was the horses bits and bobs e.g. tack, blankets, etc. I got given the saddle by the dealer/friend which was bare with no stirrups or leathers or girth or numnah, when i asked the dealer/friend about these i was told it didnt come with anything and she hasnt used the horses tack. I was then given some really shitty old torn blankets. When i got in touch with the owner they advised me that the leathers were brand new and the stirrups not too old either and that the horse also had travel boots, well i got the travel boots which have seen better days and this morning there was a set of leathers i wouldnt trust using for a week in fear of them breaking and some irons which were rusted and even dented on the side by the stable where the horse is also a numnah which i have seen being used on the dealer/friends other tack. Going by the quality of the saddle and what the horse has done in its life it is pretty clear that the other goodies wouldnt be in such poor condition. I just feel annoyed because i have paid for this stuff and i know what i have been given is not the right stuff but i dont want to make waves esp as i continue to keep the horse at the livery where the dealer is - so i have had my rant thanks for listening and sadly a friend/dealer i will now be very wary of in future. You should have seen her face when i gave her the bill of sale agreement to sign, i thought it was a common thing that was done today.
 
maybe soemone else at the yard saw the nice stuff being brought in and just helped themselves thinking it didn't matter as the horse was being sold on.
If the leathers don't look like they will last a week, then please don't use them at all!! Go and treat yourself to some new ones :D
My horse came from a 'friend/wannabe dealer' . I would have settled for the worst thing being tatty tack, I got a scatty horse lol. Still with me 7 years on and fine now though.
Might be worth saying that you spoke to previous owner and she said about the nice rugs etc and did she have any idea where they were.

I must say that I think now that friends and business don't go well together!
Hope you and your new horsey do great.
 
Thanks he is a lovely boy so i hope i am going to have a good time with him, and i am sure you are right about the other stuff being attractive and i wont use the leathers if i do not feel they are safe they are not that bad i guess what has got me down is the principal in it all, does no one have values anymore the good old fashioned kind, if you know what i mean. Look the blankets are useable dont get me wrong but they are torn and like i say the fact that when i asked about it and i got this answer which is truly wrong about how the tack was never used, i have spoken with the owner who told me what i should get but then it is friends and friends so dont want to stir. I might be stiring just making this post but i had to let it out before i exploded. Wanted to also hear if i was being unreasonable in all of this, at the end of the day i have paid to get the correct stuff.
 
What was the arrangement did your friend negotiate the sale for you or was it that they bought the horse then later sold it to you? If it was the second I think it was up to you to negotaite the terms with your friend as I don't thnk you are entitled to them just because they came with the horse originally.
 
the horse was at the dealer/livery yard and i negotiated the sale with the owner but the dealer did the transaction on her behalf. I only agreed to the sale because the owner incl all the trimmings and if it wasnt due to me then i wouldnt have got anything at all, no sadly it is a case of the trimmings looked bright and have been used elsewhere and i am going to have to live with that but dammit when you know it is wrong.
 
I would be p* off also and it sounds like you are in a sticky relationship with your friend/dealer.
If I were you I would ask for a small amount of refun to buy new equipment as she has not given you the stuff that was agreed in the sale. Saying that when I got my boy from a dealer he promised he would come with a headcollar and the tight B* didn't even give me a headcollar he dropped him off and he went home with his headcollar, luckily I had loads anyway but still!
 
yup you hit the nail right on the head, well may all those who are not so honest suffer in some way later on in their lives for the unnecessary upsets they cause others. The refund i do not think will happen but the world goes around. Thanks all for reading, i feel a bit better now. Gonna have a stiff one later
 
skolliecrubycben said:
the horse was at the dealer/livery yard and i negotiated the sale with the owner but the dealer did the transaction on her behalf. I only agreed to the sale because the owner incl all the trimmings and if it wasnt due to me then i wouldnt have got anything at all, no sadly it is a case of the trimmings looked bright and have been used elsewhere and i am going to have to live with that but dammit when you know it is wrong.
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I would ask her directly for the stuff straight away. If you don't you are just going to dwell on it, better to get it out in the open straight away.
 
If i were you I would tackle them over it. If you are kkeping the horse at that yard and they have done you out of gear how can you trust them not to rip you off for other things. If a "friend" treats you this way then I am afraid they are not a friend. If the previous owner will put in writing what she gave with the horse then I would tackle the dealer with that and get what is rightfully yours!
 
I too would ask the original owner for a list of what the horse came with, rug makes and size colour etc so you can try to identify it. It does stink when people try to pull a fast one friends or not. I have always tried to sell mine with good stuff that fits well for the horses comfort as much as for the convenience to Good luck x
 
***** isn't it when you think you know someone and think them as a friend. Sorry when it comes to selling horses there is no friendship. She's a dealer and she will get every penny she can, as new and decent tack gets good money. If the horse is a good one cut your loses tackwise move else where and stay clear of so called friend the DEALER.
 
oh right, I didn't understand the deal. I thought she had bought the horse and sold him on to you. If you have paid for all the kit, then you should have all the kit. I think i would say that there must have been some mistake and that the rugsetc must have been mixed up somewhere along the way. If she doesn't come up with the goods, i don't suppose there is a lot you can do. But no, you're not being unreasonable.
I agree with the poster who said that is they are a true friend they wouldn't rip you off. The one i bought my horse from, i was at her yard for a while and she thought it was ok to use my feed or head collar and leave it out in a muddy field etc.
Familiarity breeds contempt imho.
 
Friendship is on thing, business is something else, if they are a dealer they are in business to make money, not do favours, if you paid for this tack as part of the sale then you should ask for and get it, if you only paid for the horse then tough, you will have to buy tack yourself, if they are saying the **** stuff came with the horse and lying, then maybe you need to review your friendship.
 
a long time ago before i went into business someone said to me
quote " theres no friends in business and no business in friends"
keep this in mind....you paid for the extras and if i were you i would expect them....
did she get paid or make money on the transaction???
was it a favour???
could it be an honest mistake???
i agree with the others though if you dont say anything it will fester and the friendship will suffer anyway.....
 
Get a list from the original owner and then just say to your friend pleasantly that you think some of the stuff you had paid for had got muddled up as you have the list of what you should have had. Ask her if she is happy for you to have a hunt or get it out herself. If you give her the get out of saying it must have been muddled up, she has the opportunity to save face and there will be no confrontations. Also if you have the list, she can't deny it at that point either. Good luck!
 
Quick question- how do you think dealers manage to rug their horses? lol, its by gaining tack and rugs that come with horses to be sold! Most people want new stuff, not old stuff, and if your buying from a dealer your lucky to get anything at all.
 
Easy. Tell the tdealer that the girl who used to own the horse accidentally gave you some of the wrong stuff and wants to swap a rug and the stirrup irons with another pair.
That ought to do it. Oh - and she wants to see you specifically as there are a few other bits that you want to buy from her.
 
Luci07 said:
Get a list from the original owner and then just say to your friend pleasantly that you think some of the stuff you had paid for had got muddled up as you have the list of what you should have had. Ask her if she is happy for you to have a hunt or get it out herself. If you give her the get out of saying it must have been muddled up, she has the opportunity to save face and there will be no confrontations. Also if you have the list, she can't deny it at that point either. Good luck!
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Agree with this, don't let the dealer get away with it, she is basicly stealing from you.
 
Get a list from the original owner and then just say to your friend pleasantly that you think some of the stuff you had paid for had got muddled up as you have the list of what you should have had. Ask her if she is happy for you to have a hunt or get it out herself. If you give her the get out of saying it must have been muddled up, she has the opportunity to save face and there will be no confrontations. Also if you have the list, she can't deny it at that point either. Good luck!

Exactly what she said, and say if she does not mind you will go have a hunt for all the stuff, as you are sure your friend would not want to see you go without the stuff you have paid for
 
thanks for all your replies and yes there are no friends in business but none of it was a favour the owner wasnt there so said the dealer could take the money but i have the list and description on my mobile and when i said to the dealer that the girth urg was brown and the leathers had holes close to each other and were basically new she told me she couldnt remember what the horse came with and she hasnt used the stuff but yesterday she gave me a numnah which i saw on her other saddle so she had used the stuff. I have text the owner saying i am disappointed as you do not go to Tesco and by a turkey and walk out with a chicken but i will get the stuff i know i can easy go out and buy it but why should i.
 
What a bugger!

I can imagine how you feel, when someone you know treats you like a mug and takes advantage of the situation, if I were you, I would be looking at all my transactions with her very differently, I understand she's the YO where your horse is, how can you now be confident that your horse is getting the feed, suppliments that you are paying for and that the horse is being looked after according to your wishes.

It seems to be a national sport "Biting the hand that feeds" I've had a horse come off a transporter in nothing but a head collar, when I've physically seen it loaded, rugged up, with travelling boots and tailguard 48hrs earlier!

Offer the YO a face saving solution, "There appears to be a mistake etc" but don't ever forget, they have stolen from you/attempted to defraud you and make sure that you keep that in the back of your mind for all further transactions. For me, the trust bubble would have been burst and I would be thinking of moving to another yard
 
Hi Hanno Verian, thanks for your reply, yes am thinking of doing that, but right now do need to stay where i am, luckily i am on DIY so supply all the feed etc myself, but still leaves a bitter taste in ones mouth, i do believe in Karma so we will see, we will see, but my eyes have certainly been opened agaaaaaiiiiiinnnn. Where have all those trust worthy people that our grandparents talked about gone to, lol.
 
skolliecrubycben said:
Hi Hanno Verian, thanks for your reply, yes am thinking of doing that, but right now do need to stay where i am, luckily i am on DIY so supply all the feed etc myself, but still leaves a bitter taste in ones mouth, i do believe in Karma so we will see, we will see, but my eyes have certainly been opened agaaaaaiiiiiinnnn. Where have all those trust worthy people that our grandparents talked about gone to, lol.
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As long as you have your eyes open and your wits about you, then you should be ok in the short term, they've realised that you arent a complete mug and I would imagine will be fairly scrupulous until they think that you've let your guard down. Plan to leave, but on your terms and when you're ready to. With the tack, might be worth photographing what arrived with your horse and going back to the seller, to ask them to identify what did/didn't come with your horse.

I personally hate it when someone I've trusted takes the piss, unfortunately life's like that far too often, but the flip side is there are an awful lot of lovely, decent, generous and straightforward people out there.

Be glad you've seen them for what they are!
 
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