Feel like giving up...anyone do this and regret it?

[BlackK]

Hi this is my first post and it's going to be a long moan lol..
I've had my mare 3 years and to be honest, she probably wasn't a good purchase as I was getting back into riding after a long break. She was sold to me as a novice ride but she's very very green and was broken late. (Broken at 8, she's now 11) She's not really schooled and was very bolshy.

Fast forward 3 years and she's so much better. I've worked with her (to my capabilities) and I'm actually proud of her. A More experienced rider could have prob sorted her in a lot less time but I never wanted to give up on her. She's still unbalanced etc and I kind of feel my lack of expertise is holding us back. I've had a very highly regarded trainer come for lessons and they didn't really know what to do with her! She doesn't like work and it shows, she was a brood mare previously.

I have this issue and the other is livery. I'm so sick of it...every yard I have moved from has been on good terms as I'm friendly and respectful but I can't find anywhere I love. I can't be restricted to getting in at 3pm as I run my own business. I can't have my mare on her own as she is very anxious. I just moved to a yard I share with my friend and we have fallen out and she has been very spiteful to me.

I feel like giving it all up. I feel I cannot even ride my horse as I'm not capable. I cannot stand horrible horse people and now I'm stuck on a yard where I'm not riding and dodging the other girl so there's not an uncomfortable silence. No spaces in other liveries and if there was, I would not be able to bend to their rules?!?!

Sorry for the long rant but I don't have other horsey mates to talk this over too...

 

[mjcssjw2]

could you manage full livery somewhere until you find somewhere that suits you, or part livery maybe, that might give you a break enough to get your mojo back, and if you chose the right place there might be someone there who could help with your mare and give you some lessons?

 

[Tiffany]

Where are you based? I don't think winter helps because it is harder work and we are usually doing our jobs in the dark. You will find the right yard although, we nearly all have to make slight compromises on a livery yard. Could you get a sharer, that way it would be half the time and money? Even if they only contribute a small amount but are happy to ride and do a few jobs it might help.
Unfortunately, I had to have my are PTS at the end of October so I've decided to have a break over the winter and see how I feel in the spring. I miss my girl every day but if I'm honest I'm not missing having to go to the yard.

 

[BlackK]

Thank you for your reply there is literally nothing around here. I'm on a waiting list for a yard but that could be a long wait. I've had lessons off different trainers and tbh, none of them were a great help. One just said my horse was dangerous :/. The yard I have at the mo has no facilities at all, there's a ménage about 20 mins hack away but since I've fallen out with my friend, I can't hack to it alone. I'm working on that by going out alone bit by bit tho atm. Well when it's not sheet ice!

The gee gee has dust allergies so I keep her out as much as possible, all yards I've been to before want in by 3pm and she hates being in. I could leave her out 24/7 but my ex friend brings hers in so I have to as well. We did have another livery who left hers out 24/7 but the other girl bullied her off.

99 problems....!!

 

[BlackK]

So sorry to hear that Tiffany, how sad it makes me so mad that other people ruin what is meant to be a wonderful hobby. I bet come spring you will have another! Altho nothing will replace your lost horse, I imagine it's difficult to know what to do with your time!

 

[SpringArising]

Could you maybe rent your own field and get a little Shetland to keep your mare company or something?

Where are you? Maybe someone on here could help

 

[BlackK]

Thank you spring arising. I'm in warwickshire and I've spent days looking but cannot find a thing!! I have my name down at a few yards but nothing is coming up. I hate to move as my horse is happy and I refuse to be bullied off but it's not a happy environment to be in :/

 

[PollyP99]

What did you fall out about, is it salvageable ? Give and take is often required as everyone has a different opinion about how things should be done.

 

[JulesRules]

Hi BlackK,

Sorry you are having a difficult time. I agree that it's much harder in winter, mentally as well as physically.

My advise would be not to rush into anything and to take the time to think things through properly. Once you sell a horse you might never get it back so consider a loan or share while you take some time off and think things through.

In terms of finding the right yard, I agree it's hard and for me there is always some element of compromise. I stayed on a livery yard that was too far from home (12 miles and across town) for 10 years becuae I couldn't find anything as nice closer to home, and even then everyone there insisted in bringing their horses in by 4pm in winter which meant I had to pay to get mine brought in as I work until half 5.

Now I'm on a yard 3 miles from home which has the benefits of being much cheaper, closer and of including bring in and turn out in the basic cost, but there is much less grazing and lots more mud.

Before moving I looked at about 8 other yards and phoned even more. It always worth another look on the tack shop noticeboard, or on preloved as you never know when a livery space might come up, or someone might just be looking for someone to share a field.

Keep your chin up and your options open

 

[JulesRules]

I'm in warwickshire

Which end? I'm North Warwickshire and know quite a lot of yards around the Cov and N Warks area. Feel free to PM me

 

[Tern]

Yep, I was sat here slowly watering out of my face p) typing out a post which I ended up not posting as I knew i'd get eaten and attacked. My mare although not broken late is far too green for her age (doesn't know things she really should) old owners had her at 4 and didn't teach her *anything* so when we bought her as just turned 7 she was a project.. doesn't know how to go on the bit/bend/do simple lateral work unlike her 5 year old peers who can do some of this with confidence and some with less confidence but still do it.

 

[BlackK]

Ahhh thx guys! In a dream world, a lottery win would allow an at home equestrian facility with 40 acres and the best trainer money could buy

Julesrules, I will PM you, thanks

I don't think the argument can be fixed...I'm so tired of her. She has been kicked off various yards and she is so explosive. If it isn't her way, your gonna be sorry! The fight was over nothing, which makes it worse. She basically told me I don't care for my horse and she wishes I wasn't there. I spend hours each day with my horse, I never miss a day at the yard and she is very, very well cared for. I'm too old to have people like this is my life :/

 

[BlackK]

Haaa how do I PM??

 

[JulesRules]

I'll PM you then just reply