Feel like I should be happy, but...

[benson21]

really weird feelings tonight. have had a call from my solicitor, they have had my settlement cheque through from our accident. So its over. Everything has been settled which I feel I should be relieved about. But I just feel so sad. Its a lot of money, but how can you put a price on it all. I just feel, is that all he was worth, is that all the heartache is worth. like I say, its a lot of money, alot more than I could ever imagine, but I would give every single penny, and more back, to have just a minute more with benson, and for him, and us not to have gone through it all.
edited to say...I dont mean that I wanted more, far from it, I didnt want any of it.

 

[trickivicki]

that is such a genuine response rather than the horrid money grabbing most people seem to express. You deserve every penny, spens it frivolously and enjoy yourself! x

 

[eggs]

Thinking of you. Hopefully now you will be able to put it all behind you now and have more good memories of Benson.

 

[mightymammoth]

gosh I feel for you so so much, I just don't know what else to say xx

 

[Hedwards]

I can't imagine how you feel after everything you've been through, so ill just send some virtual hugs, thinking of you xxx

 

[EllenJay]

The money is like a full stop on the incident (incident is the wrong word but not sure what else to use) and now you can move forward.

Think of something positive to use the money for - it could be something for you (like a holiday) or if it makes you feel better, what about giving away flourescent armbands to riding clubs to encourage riders to be safer on the roads.

Whatever you decide, you need to start looking forward xx

 

[AmyMay]

Money can never absolve that person from what they did, and the devastating consequences. And I absolutely understand your feelings.

Have you thought about using the money to make a donation to charity? It may help with closure.

 

[HorsesHavingFun]

Feel for you and sending hugs, can't imagine how hard it has been for you.

 

[JFTDWS]

No, it's not all he was worth. It's an arbitary sum with no relation to his value, worth or the suffering you've been through.

 

[showpony]

no amount of money is going to replace your terrible loss. Could you do something like get a painting done of him or something like - something that could be a permanent fixture in your house.

 

[Flibble]

Bless you. I think you have hit that dull grey void in life don't worry just let it float on for a bit till you catch up with yourself.

 

[tessybear]

Money will never replace the hole in your heart and the horrible experience, cannot begin to think what you have been through and just how blooming brave you have been throughout it all.

 

[kinnygirl1]

So sorry for what you have been through. Of course no money could make it right. How you feel is very understandable. Second the persons who suggested maybe using some of the money to get a painting done of Benson as a fitting memorial..... ((hugs))

 

[Shantara]

*hugs*
I'm sure all the money in the world couldn't make up for what happened. I can't imagine what you must have been through. Hell and back I guess is a fitting statement. I really don't know what to say, apart from I hope you're ok! x