Feel like I'm missing out... Alot

[notsoluckyhorseshoes]

I am not in a situation to own a horse or even able to share so I pretty much volunteer at a Livery yard with around 80 horses on top of that it has a farm, an onsite cafe and equestrian shop. So a bit big

However, I always feel I'm missing out dearly just because I can't ride or can find anywhere to ride or be the only one out of the staff to not have a horse or never able to participate in any shows. I only attended one show jumping clinic and that was the last and only time I actually jumped lol

Is it stupid for me to feel like I'm missing out? Or am I just being petty? I'm 15 right now so I know I've got time to get a job, qualifications and stuff but at the same time I just want my own damn pony?

 

[Ossy2]

Absolutely not stupid to feel like that. I didn’t have my own at your age either. I my day if I was volunteering at a livery yard it was in exchange for riding so used to get to ride twice a week for volunteering on Saturday and Sunday.
Could you look for somewhere who will give you some lessons ect in exchange for your help on the yard?

 

[smolmaus]

I would feel like I was missing out too if I was working for free! I think its much harder these days to work in exchange for lessons or rides, with insurance requirements, but you could ask around for something! Or ask for lessons for Christmas ?

The beauty of horses is you can ride and enjoy them until you're in your 80's god willing. You have all the time in the world ?

 

[notsoluckyhorseshoes]

I would feel like I was missing out too if I was working for free! I think its much harder these days to work in exchange for lessons or rides, with insurance requirements, but you could ask around for something! Or ask for lessons for Christmas ?

The beauty of horses is you can ride and enjoy them until you're in your 80's god willing. You have all the time in the world ?

Yeah sadly the yard I was working for riding wasn't holding up there end and was spreading some nasty comments about their riders to other yards or amongst Facebook which made me really uncomfortable so I left that yard and now at this massive livery yard where I can't ride or anything and sadly we don't have many riding schools around here anymore or the places haven't replied in months ? I don't know it's just starting to get quite upsetting I can't do much with horses haha

 

[notsoluckyhorseshoes]

Absolutely not stupid to feel like that. I didn’t have my own at your age either. I my day if I was volunteering at a livery yard it was in exchange for riding so used to get to ride twice a week for volunteering on Saturday and Sunday.
Could you look for somewhere who will give you some lessons ect in exchange for your help on the yard?

I've tried already and most places didn't respond or the ones I attempted to ride at made me really uncomfortable and kept on giving me snarky comments on anything I did ? I'm really not sure at this point it is quite hard and this is my 3rd work I've helped at this year. It is nice to be around horses and look after them but at the same time I'd love to do more stuff with em sorry for the little rant it's just hard I guess lol

 

[Winters100]

It is not stupid to feel this way, but remember that every day you spend at the yard you are learning. These skills will stay with you, and one day you will be glad of them.

I would also suggest that you might look around for a share with someone who just wants jobs in return. It won't be a flashy competition horse, but there are plenty of adults who own nice safe hacks but don't have enough time to ride. As you are not yet 18 it may be more complicated, particularly in the UK, but if you have the support of your parents it might be do-able.

Good luck, and remember that you have years to enjoy this hobby, so just learn as much as you can in the meantime.

 

[naomibmck]

Not sure I can offer much advice, just wanted to drop in and say that I also relate and you're not the only one. I'm 20 now and spent my early to mid teens around riding schools/ livery yards working for free. It's tough going working for free, especially at a livery yard surrounded by people with their own horses, while you can't get your own! It's hard you want something like a horse as much as I'm sure you do, but it just shows how dedicated you are to your passion. Within a year or two you should be able to get a paying job, even if it's not one with horses, it can help fund your hobby.

Also, well done for leaving yards when they don't feel right. A lot of people would just stick it out for the free riding, but it sounds like you've done the right thing.

When you say you volunteer at a livery yard, do you get anything at all in exchange? It seems unfair if you're not being repaid with either money or lessons, considering they are a business.

 

[Muddy unicorn]

How much experience with riding and stable management do you have? How long have you been having riding lessons for? And how long have you stayed at any one place? It sounds like you’d be better off at a riding school rather than a livery yard - at a riding school you’d probably be one of several horse-mad teens and there’s generally more understanding from the staff that you’d be learning and wouldn’t be expected to do everything perfectly. I know you’ve said you can’t find anywhere else but there will be somewhere you can go - you might need to be patient though.

It’s good to have goals but it’s important to be able to break them down into realistic, manageable chunks. So your goal is to have your own pony - you need to think about all the things you need to have in place to make that a reality. You don’t need to be worrying about the cost of hay bales right now - that kind of detail belongs in the future.


Have you talked to your parents about what you want to do? Would they be able to help you get some riding and stable management lessons? The more experience you can get, the more you’ll have to offer.

If you stick around at one place for long enough, opportunities will come up, but often people want to see that you’re committed first - there are a lot of flakey horsey teenagers around and you need to show that you’re reliable and hardworking.

Yes, it probably seems very unfair that some 15 year olds have their own pony and you don’t. You could either wallow in misery and feel worse or think what you can do to change the situation. Good luck!

 

[blitznbobs]

How good is your riding? If you are a beginner very few owners are going to take the risk of putting you on their horse, the risks to them of putting a minor on board are huge tbh im a little suprised the livery yard let you volunteer… the world is a different place than if was even 20 years ago and rising insurance premiums have made it almost impossible to let kids ‘have a go’ . My advice would be to get a saturday job doing anything (not necessarily with horses) and pay for some riding lessons- the better you can ride the more likely you are to be offered free rides on a yard.

 

[stangs]

Volunteering can go two ways. You either get free rides, or have some time to spend with friends, or you get a lot of valuable experience with horse handling (by valuable, I mean more than just grooming). If you’re getting none, it’s time to think about a new place.

The benefit of not having your own is that you have the time to spend with lots of different horses. And gain experience with more horses than you would, if you just had the one.

Have you considered spending the summer at a trekking centre next year? You’d get lots of riding hours, a wage, and lots of time around horses.

Or, while you’re at school and can’t move around - you can volunteer with RCs to get to know more people, you can spectate at shows, you can find a place to occasionally fence judge or dressage write at, etc. And I appreciate that it can be painful to see people living your dream, but use this time as a time to gain more knowledge and experience. Think of it as a kind of investment for the time when you’ll have your own horse.

 

[Red-1]

I would stick at the same yard, as long as they are nice people. Once the owners get to know you, they may well offer rides in summer. In winter, myself and many others simply go 'do' the horses and then go inside again! I would consider a ride when the living is easy, so to speak, but only with someone I have grown to trust. It sounds like you haven't been anywhere long enough to build that trust yet.

Maybe hang round when people are schooling, so you can move jump poles? Offer to film or take photos? Offer to help at a show? Even if just to hold horses or take photos.

It is all good experience.

 

[AntiPuck]

I can empathise; it's tough being a horse mad teenager/any age person and not feeling like you can ever get enough horse time. It sounds like you have much more exposure, through your volunteering, than many would get, though, so that is something to try to feel grateful for in the meantime, and to use to your advantage to learn as much as possible from.

I was in a similar situation to you at your age, and I turned the longing into a desire to excel at school/college/uni and now work, to ensure I'd be able to comfortably afford to own a horse in the future. It sounds like you realise that this is what you will need to do as well, so try to keep focused on that, and in the meantime look for shares or part loans in your area to try and fill the gap. I'd also try to get out to as many horsey events as possible, things like Hickstead, the Longines tour events, etc. or even small, local shows, to again get that horse fix in.

The longer you spend at a place, whether a riding school or a livery yard, the more people will get to know you, and then more horse time opportunities are likely to come up.

ETA: once you turn 16, it may be worth looking for a paying part-time job so that you can afford lessons or hacks every now and then.

 

[windand rain]

Work hard at school get good qualifications for a non horsey career and buy your own once you can afford it. In the meantime it might be worth putting a wanted ad up earlier for a working share there are quite a few private owners who will let you ride subject to your skill level and your own insurance even more so if you are small enough and good enough to ride/school small ponies. I often have people riding but they must have insurance and parental support

 

[Marigold4]

Work hard at school get good qualifications for a non horsey career and buy your own once you can afford it. In the meantime it might be worth putting a wanted ad up earlier for a working share there are quite a few private owners who will let you ride subject to your skill level and your own insurance even more so if you are small enough and good enough to ride/school small ponies. I often have people riding but they must have insurance and parental support

I agree with windandrain about getting in a non-horsey job. Working with horses is so poorly paid and the very good riders started very young. Work hard at school and get a well-paid job. Then you can pay for your own lessons and one day your own horse. I did both and working for free with horses was just taken for advantage of. It's better to earn your own money and be in control of your riding ambitions.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

If you can find a yard to does RDA near you, volunteering for some sessions there might help you to reallise that you are in a fortunate position compared to some other riders, as well as giving you valuable horse and people experience.

 

[PeterNatt]

Why not share a horse where you don't have to make a financial contribution? I used to have two sharers when I kept my horse in London and they would ride my horse during the day when I was at work and I paid all the bills! This kept my horse excercised and occupied so it worked both ways. (My horse was very safe and could be trundled by himself through central London and would not react to anything!).

 

[Widgeon]

If you can find a yard to does RDA near you, volunteering for some sessions there might help you to reallise that you are in a fortunate position compared to some other riders, as well as giving you valuable horse and people experience.

I didn't think the OP came accross as ungrateful at all? It's just hard when you're a teenager and don't have your own money. OP, I think free rides in return for work are getting harder to find now, what with insurance and H&S requirements, so agree that paying for some lessons with the money from a non-horsey part time job might be the best way of getting actual riding time. Once you're 18 (which I appreciate probably feels like an age away) you may find things get a bit easier and more shares are available to you. I don't know what the RDA policy is on teenagers but I think at a lot of centres the volunteers also hack the horses to keep their lives interesting, so would definitely be worth investigating getting involved with them. It might also be useful experience that you could transfer to another RDA group if you move for university when you're 18. Just some thoughts.

 

[Pearlsacarolsinger]

I didn't think the OP came accross as ungrateful at all? It's just hard when you're a teenager and don't have your own money. OP, I think free rides in return for work are getting harder to find now, what with insurance and H&S requirements, so agree that paying for some lessons with the money from a non-horsey part time job might be the best way of getting actual riding time. Once you're 18 (which I appreciate probably feels like an age away) you may find things get a bit easier and more shares are available to you. I don't know what the RDA policy is on teenagers but I think at a lot of centres the volunteers also hack the horses to keep their lives interesting, so would definitely be worth investigating getting involved with them. It might also be useful experience that you could transfer to another RDA group if you move for university when you're 18. Just some thoughts.

I didn't say that she was ungrateful. IME RDA centres welcome teenage volunteers with open arms but not all are licensed RS,so volunteer riding arrangements willbe individual to each centre.

 

[Deltofe2493]

I agree with windandrain and marigold. Please please get a non horsey career! I fell out of love with horses when I was 17, after having helped at yards on and off since I was 11. I shared one of the school ponies for a little while (very cheaply).

I'm 28 now, and after sharing for 8 months I took the plunge to buy my own earlier this year. A non-horsey, well paid career means I have the pleasure of having my horse on full livery. This means I can dedicate more time in doing other bits and bobs, i.e. learning how to plait, bathing, stretches after rides etc. I look back at where I came from and where I am now. Honestly, 15 year old me absolutely cannot believe it.

Then I see the people who work on my yard, who are amazing at what they do but they eat, sleep and breathe horses. Rarely get a day off, and as someone else said, don't get paid very much. (Although I have little funds to actually go out socialising, I am ok with this).

I promise you, this will not last forever. When you turn 16, get a part time job at weekends, save to learn to drive as this will help you access more yards freely, have riding lessons when you can and then build this up to eventually get share. Not everyone charges extortionate amounts, plus if it is just in return of jobs think about all the experience you have already.