Feel like my horse isnt my own

I can only echo all that's already been said and I see that your looking to move now anyway, so what can I add?.......just a well done you and welcome to the forum;)
 
I don't agree with other posters that the YO is a loony or a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I think it is quite a common problem on very small yards. I can understand her point regarding other people coming with their horses to pick yours up. We are very careful here and discourage too many visitors for security reasons. Also, if there was a strangles outbreak, I would be reluctant to let other horses on the yard. However, I do think the YO is a bit OTT. She probably just thinks she is being helpful and treating the OP like more of a novice than she is. I also know many YOs that do not allow others to come and clip or plait people's horses for them as they want the business themselves. That is completely understandable. It is their premises, and why should someone else profit from doing a job on their yard that they could do themselves. However, I personally would not mind. I hate plaiting and clipping so would be more than happy for my liveries to get someone else. They don't though.

OP, I would have a chat with the yard owner. You need to be careful how you word things. Concentrate on how it makes you FEEL rather than going to her with a list of objections. Tell her you are feeling upset that she is not allowing you to treat your horse as your own. Ask if there is anyway around her problems with your friend picking you up. It may just be because she does not want other horses on the yard, in which case, would she allow your friend to pick you up and then go back for her own horse? Explain that you are not paying your friend to plait your horse and cannot afford extras. But in case it goes pear shaped, make sure you have an alternative yard lined up.
 
Burmilla said:
I think I would have had a major tantrum by now! :eek: YOs and YMs have a difficult job and one which I would never undertake. It requires interpersonal skills and tact and diplomacy, to levels far beyond me! However, although your YO is doing her best, as she sees it, for the horses in her care, you sound perfectly competent to look after your own animal. My advice is to look at all the other yards round you and review your options. Good luck, and keep us posted - and also, pics please of new horse!
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Yes, and just touching on the farrier issue, take my yard for example. You and I think everyone else uses one farrier, I have kept my farrier for 11 years and he is late most days but I love him for the work he does and I trust him completely. I have seen and heard great things about their farrier, and should I decide to shoe ben and my farrier was unable to see to him, I would have absolutely no problem with their farrier doing him, neither would I have a problem with Aunty G handling him for the farrier, but only if it was my choice and not forced upon me. To be dictated to in such a way over the care of my own horse would incense me. Luckily, I am not made to change farriers, my wishes are respected, and I know if I need help it is there when I ask, now that the difference between a good YO and a terrible one.
 
Thanks for your input Wagtail - I appreciate it. I have discussed the travelling situation with her and its simply a case of her not wanting my horse in a trailer/lorry with a horse from another yard - I did think she didnt want other horses on the yard and offered to have my friend pick me up at the bottom of the road - but she said no :( I have mentioned that my friend does not charge me for plaiting but this is not allowed apparantly. Shes a very nice lady, she never raised her voice and always speaks very sweetly so its difficult to be mad at her for putting rules in place on her own yard. Having said that, the rules are rather restricting for me and as I cant afford a 4x4 or a trailer while Im studying for my degree, I am effectively grounded :(
 
Wagtail said:
I don't agree with other posters that the YO is a loony or a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I think it is quite a common problem on very small yards. I can understand her point regarding other people coming with their horses to pick yours up. We are very careful here and discourage too many visitors for security reasons. Also, if there was a strangles outbreak, I would be reluctant to let other horses on the yard. However, I do think the YO is a bit OTT. She probably just thinks she is being helpful and treating the OP like more of a novice than she is. I also know many YOs that do not allow others to come and clip or plait people's horses for them as they want the business themselves. That is completely understandable. It is their premises, and why should someone else profit from doing a job on their yard that they could do themselves. However, I personally would not mind. I hate plaiting and clipping so would be more than happy for my liveries to get someone else. They don't though.

OP, I would have a chat with the yard owner. You need to be careful how you word things. Concentrate on how it makes you FEEL rather than going to her with a list of objections. Tell her you are feeling upset that she is not allowing you to treat your horse as your own. Ask if there is anyway around her problems with your friend picking you up. It may just be because she does not want other horses on the yard, in which case, would she allow your friend to pick you up and then go back for her own horse? Explain that you are not paying your friend to plait your horse and cannot afford extras. But in case it goes pear shaped, make sure you have an alternative yard lined up.
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Playing devils advocate here (and I am in no way saying this is the case in this situation) but the description of OP's YO sounds bang on the description I was given about 5 years ago of my current YO Aunty G, but the reality, now I am at her yard is very very different. She is not controlling, an example is that I was told she wouldn't let you ask your friend (even if it was another livery owner) to turn your horse out as she would be losing business and would want paying for it, in reality people share the tasks between themselves, as liveries normally do, one livery turns 2 horses out and the other brings them in later, they also share the mucking out. I pay YO to do ben in the morning, but it certainly is not the way that people had described they yard to me. Sometimes, people have one view, where in reality it is something completely different. I am a bit miffed still at the other people for muddying Aunty G's name like that, but then they were YO's themselves, I suppose they saw her as competition :(

Even so, there are I am sure, many liveries who would be happy with the set up that OP's YO has, and would actually see it as a bonus, not a negative. Unfortunately it is not everyones cup of tea and I certainly hope OP finds somewhere more suitable to her needs and wishes :D
 
Pawpads said:
Thanks for your input Wagtail - I appreciate it. I have discussed the travelling situation with her and its simply a case of her not wanting my horse in a trailer/lorry with a horse from another yard - I did think she didnt want other horses on the yard and offered to have my friend pick me up at the bottom of the road - but she said no :( I have mentioned that my friend does not charge me for plaiting but this is not allowed apparantly. Shes a very nice lady, she never raised her voice and always speaks very sweetly so its difficult to be mad at her for putting rules in place on her own yard. Having said that, the rules are rather restricting for me and as I cant afford a 4x4 or a trailer while Im studying for my degree, I am effectively grounded :(
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Just a quick question OP, when you moved to your yard was your horse put in isolation to begin with, and when YO or other liveries go and compete, are their horses then allowed straight back on the yard?

I personally would always use my YO in preference transport wise, but then they run a transport business and I would think it insulting not to use them when they are efficient and competitive in price, I like them and would rather they have my custom, but they would never stop me sharing with someone else if that was my choice.

As I said in my other post it may suit some, but it wouldn't suit me, and it doesn't suit you, you certainly need some more freedom. Good luck and let us know when you find somewhere :D
 
I spent 5 years on a yard with a diva YO. Couldn't do a thing and i mean a thing without her permission/knowledge. I had no previous experience of owning a horse so that must have been why I put up with all the s... for so long. In the end did move cause it just got so ridiculous and it was the best thing i ever did. She was a complete control freak. Sad really how so many YO are, and their second in command, (they can be even worse) I would move. The longer you leave it the harder it will be.
 
Yes my girly was put in isolation when she first arrived at the yard. She was not allowed to be turned out for 3 weeks but she was in the same stable block as 5 other horses so not sure how "isolated" she actually was to be honest. The yard I work on isolates new horses in a seperate block away from the main stables.

No, the other liveries and the YO do not isolate their horses after shows or attending clinics - the horses are just straight back on the yard and turned out.
 
I wad in the same situation with my old yard,OP. I worked there part time as an assistant instructor and bought my first horse from the YO who turned out to be a nightmare control freak. I was even told I was not allowed to be there when the vet gave vaccinations! I felt just like you, that I did'nt own my mare and was constantly being watched and judged. It got really bad when I was 8 months pregnant and she more than doubled the board to a level I could not afford, told me I was not allowed a sharer unless they paid her a monthly sum too and when I found a new place and had arranged transport told me she did'nt want strangers on the yard so moved my horse herself, without me there.
My new place is really laid back and I at last feel like my girl is mine. The YO is genuinely helpful and friendly but it is up to me to organize vet, farrier and feed. Bliss!
 
If you are having niggling thoughts now, it is your gut instinct trying to tell you that it isn't right, you don't sound happy. Many years ago we were at a small livery yard where we were on 'full livery' because that is all the YO did. However, we had to muck out every morning before she turned out, we were not allowed to lead our own pony in or out of the field if we were there at the time when she did that and we were not allowed to change his rugs. She stuck him on his own in a small flooded paddock at the bottom of a field while her own were moved onto higher ground. We stayed 4 weeks and then moved. Horses are to be enjoyed not to be a daily stress on your shoulders due to others. Good luck with your move.
 
Pawpads said:
Yes my girly was put in isolation when she first arrived at the yard. She was not allowed to be turned out for 3 weeks but she was in the same stable block as 5 other horses so not sure how "isolated" she actually was to be honest. The yard I work on isolates new horses in a seperate block away from the main stables.

No, the other liveries and the YO do not isolate their horses after shows or attending clinics - the horses are just straight back on the yard and turned out.
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So they stand the biggest risk with regards to strangles or other contagious diseases being bought into the yard:rolleyes:

Got to love some peoples logic:rolleyes: Not saying isolation should happen after competition but you certainly not be persecuted when YO and other Liveries are currently presenting the biggest risk, and you sharing transport with your friend would pose no bigger risk.

Such a shame that someone could be so awkward, really hope you get it sorted OP
 
My yard operates the same rule - I am not allowed to transport my horse to shows or clinics in a box or trailer with my friends horses from other yards. YO spoke to the vet who advised her that there was a high risk of any contagion being passed between horses in such an enclosed space. Its not idea and does mean I cant go anywhere as I have no other means of transport but I just bought a 4x4 and hopefully will be getting a trailer after Xmas which will free me up a bit.

Our YO also buys in hay and shavings which suits me as I dont have to go get it, and she will stand with my boy while he gets shod - again she arranges this I just leave the money (unless I forget which happened this week *oops*) Saves me having to be there - but she doesnt insist I use her farrier or vet - it just so happens we used the same vet and farrier anyway - I wouldnt allow any YO to dictate to me which vet or farrier I could use, or saddler for that matter. Whilst I know my YO likes things a certain way, there is such a thing as taking it too far IMO. A controlling YO to the extent you have described would not be one I would be able to put up with.

Every yard has rules that suit one but dont suit someone else so I suppose its down to the individual. It doesnt sound like the arrangement suits you and I would look for another yard if I felt that way about it. Hope you find something suitable soon :)
 
I think you've got the message by now so i won't insist on the fact that moving seems to be the way forward. Good luck in finding a new suitable yard. I used this forum to find a new place for my horse and i really appreciated the recommendations. I have found a really nice place, maybe not the best facilities but a very welcoming place where i can enjoy my horse and get support if needed. There are enough people from around guildford here who can advise on yards near you. It is all supposed to be fun so i hope you find the right place to enjoy your mare.
 
Sorry on phone- posted early by accident!
Moving seems to be your best bet, she seems too controlling and I wouldn't like this either :( hope you get it sorted :)
 
Like Wagtail, I can see this from YO's pov. It's a small yard, I assume she lives on the premises and she wants to control who comes onto her yard.
But as a livery customer, I would not have wanted to be dictated to about which vet/farrier/saddler etc I could have to work with my horse.
This is why we do not have liveries on our own private yard and perhaps your YO would be better not doing so either.
 
Chichi said:
I think you've got the message by now so i won't insist on the fact that moving seems to be the way forward. Good luck in finding a new suitable yard. I used this forum to find a new place for my horse and i really appreciated the recommendations. I have found a really nice place, maybe not the best facilities but a very welcoming place where i can enjoy my horse and get support if needed. There are enough people from around guildford here who can advise on yards near you. It is all supposed to be fun so i hope you find the right place to enjoy your mare.
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Thank you and yes I have had some very nice and helpful PM's from various members of the community with suggestions on a few yards in my area. Went to see one this afternoon, and will visit a few during the week before making a decision.

I would like to thank everyone who has contributed to this thread for their advice and kind words and for taking the time to respond to me :) I will update you all once I decide on a new yard for me and Snoops:)
 
joeanne said:
She sounds like a fruit loop. Find another yard.
Sharing transport to shows is the norm.....if your horse was going to catch anything it could come from literally anywahere.
And no bu**er would tell me what farrier I had to use...or saddler....or vet.....
Control freak. Move!
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I second this. I wouldn't dream of telling my liveries who they could or couldn't use. I recommend my farrier, and it does make my life a lot easier if all horses are booked in at once with the same person, but if someone wants to use their own farrier, dentist, whoever, I would definitely let them. It's not my horse, so why should I dictate to them?

I also think she's being ridiculous about not letting you share transport. Would she let you compete if you had your own transport? If she would then she's completely crackers. You're more likely to encounter strangles at a show with numerous unknown horses than you are sharing a lift with a friend, who I assume is sensible enough to know when not to travel her horse.

I can understand her not wanting you to have a friend clip or plait your horse - a lot of yards do this (including me, but then I don't offer DIY so clipping etc. is included in the price of full livery) as it's a service she offers and is taking money away from her.

BUT she sounds bonkers. Get out!
 
Starzaan said:
I second this. I wouldn't dream of telling my liveries who they could or couldn't use. I recommend my farrier, and it does make my life a lot easier if all horses are booked in at once with the same person, but if someone wants to use their own farrier, dentist, whoever, I would definitely let them. It's not my horse, so why should I dictate to them?

I also think she's being ridiculous about not letting you share transport. Would she let you compete if you had your own transport? If she would then she's completely crackers. You're more likely to encounter strangles at a show with numerous unknown horses than you are sharing a lift with a friend, who I assume is sensible enough to know when not to travel her horse.

I can understand her not wanting you to have a friend clip or plait your horse - a lot of yards do this (including me, but then I don't offer DIY so clipping etc. is included in the price of full livery) as it's a service she offers and is taking money away from her.

BUT she sounds bonkers. Get out!
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No you wouldn't, doesn't mean youre not a fruitloop though me old duck :D:D:D
 
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