Feel so down, can I have a hug please

Are you sure you can't get a sharer for her? I used to ride a mare who was on-off lame due to pedal bone rotation who had 3 sharers plus owner riding her! and all bar the odd spell of lameness when the ground was hard or we hadn't quite got on top of her feeding regime and she was (and still is) absolutely fine - that was 3 years ago...
 
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Even if there was someone at the yard your at to give you some support.I think it may make your decision easier as you may then progress and realise that you do want to work through the problem or you will decide that if your still not progressing with help it too much of a problem and its time to retire her. sorry if thats a bit rambling.
Joe.

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Thanks joe, I will chat with my mate, heading up yard soon now so will be seeing her to get lift for last leg of the journey as my car wont get back up the lane from the yard as its too icy, car just wont do it, not rambling at all, you should see me in action, I am the worlds worst rambler!
 
hugs to you hun. i don't have a horse, but i've not ridden for 3 years due to rotated pelvis when preg, then when my daughter was born i had post natal depression. I went to a councelling/help group, but i still have days when i am very down about things. my OH always seems to pick up on when i'm feeling down on myself cos that's when he treats me like i'm an idiot.
I try to think ahead to the summer when everyone's cheerful cos of the sun!
hope you feel better soon, def try having a chat with your OH. he might not realise he's upsetting you x
 
Lots of hugs coming your way hun...
Sounds like such a heart breaking decision but as other have said it is an awful lot of time,work and money to put in if you're not enjoying it... Lots of hugs and vibes though xxxx
 
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hugs to you hun. i don't have a horse, but i've not ridden for 3 years due to rotated pelvis when preg, then when my daughter was born i had post natal depression. I went to a councelling/help group, but i still have days when i am very down about things. my OH always seems to pick up on when i'm feeling down on myself cos that's when he treats me like i'm an idiot.
I try to think ahead to the summer when everyone's cheerful cos of the sun!
hope you feel better soon, def try having a chat with your OH. he might not realise he's upsetting you x

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Thanks hun, I really appreciate that, sorry to hear of your PND, I think perhaps everything is getting me down, like you say, perhaps when the sun is shining things wont seem so bleak.
These OH's are good for kicking you when your down, no empathy whatsoever.
 
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Are you sure you can't get a sharer for her? I used to ride a mare who was on-off lame due to pedal bone rotation who had 3 sharers plus owner riding her! and all bar the odd spell of lameness when the ground was hard or we hadn't quite got on top of her feeding regime and she was (and still is) absolutely fine - that was 3 years ago...

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Thanks, perhaps I could consider this, I just thought that perhaps I would never have a chance with her limitations.
 
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Lots of hugs coming your way hun...
Sounds like such a heart breaking decision but as other have said it is an awful lot of time,work and money to put in if you're not enjoying it... Lots of hugs and vibes though xxxx

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Thanks, really appreciate all the support here, just bought myself some chocolate on the way home from the yard now and tucking into that also, diet, what diet, right now I dont care.
 
I am sorry to hear that you're having a bad time at the minute. I understand how you feel not being able to talk about horse matters as my bf just switches off when I start.

It sounds like it may be best to let her retire. Have you been able to spend time with her just grooming in the stall? I know you've had her for 16 years but that may help to build your confidence slowly and can be really relaxing.
 
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I am sorry to hear that you're having a bad time at the minute. I understand how you feel not being able to talk about horse matters as my bf just switches off when I start.

It sounds like it may be best to let her retire. Have you been able to spend time with her just grooming in the stall? I know you've had her for 16 years but that may help to build your confidence slowly and can be really relaxing.

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Thanks laurenm01, everyone has been so supportive on here, I just felt so terrible earlier. I am going to get her eyes checked and try over come this. I am seriously considering retirement livery for her. Today is just one of those days where everything seems to crumble down around you and get you down.
She only does very light work anyway, so I will see, I want to trust her again, I feel sad that I do not trust her just now.
Thanks again x
 
That's what we're all here for!

I know you won't rush into any decision but like others have said, don't be too hard on yourself and take each day as it comes!
 
We can all loose our nerve at some point with the horses we handle - even if the horse has never done anything physically to us. My old girl has fell on me twice when riding her - and i will tell you now the first 12 months of being even near her used to terrify me. I felt sick when i used to pick her feet out incase she fell on me and the first time i rode her after the fall (i could not walk for almost a year) talk about the fatal crouch position - poor thing could not breath let alone move i was holding the reins that tight !

Give it time - honestly one day you will just do something and only in the car on the way home will you suddenly stop and think - i did that !

OH's are usually an arse at this time of year - its a man mood - they are like big silly kids and play up for attention - as we are usually fussing too much over our four legged things. Give him a tenner and tell him you love him and will pick him up from the pub later - that can sometimes work or tell him how grateful you are for all his support etc......

Good luck - dont give up, kick the OH up the arse and put your shoulders back and say to yourself "today is another day" - "cant change yesterday but today I will not be afraid" - if you start to feel nervy take in a "fag breath" you know a big intake of air - puff your chest out - the extra rush of oxygen will help
 
Oh hun.

Have a huge hug and a handful spare for later, and a hot choccy.

I haven't read all the replies, but I saw a wee bit about your OH being scared/worried for you. My OH is very supportive of all that I do, but when I came off Dizz, and afterwards, well, let's just say we had some discussions...
 
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We can all loose our nerve at some point with the horses we handle - even if the horse has never done anything physically to us. My old girl has fell on me twice when riding her - and i will tell you now the first 12 months of being even near her used to terrify me. I felt sick when i used to pick her feet out incase she fell on me and the first time i rode her after the fall (i could not walk for almost a year) talk about the fatal crouch position - poor thing could not breath let alone move i was holding the reins that tight !

Give it time - honestly one day you will just do something and only in the car on the way home will you suddenly stop and think - i did that !

OH's are usually an arse at this time of year - its a man mood - they are like big silly kids and play up for attention - as we are usually fussing too much over our four legged things. Give him a tenner and tell him you love him and will pick him up from the pub later - that can sometimes work or tell him how grateful you are for all his support etc......

Good luck - dont give up, kick the OH up the arse and put your shoulders back and say to yourself "today is another day" - "cant change yesterday but today I will not be afraid" - if you start to feel nervy take in a "fag breath" you know a big intake of air - puff your chest out - the extra rush of oxygen will help

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Thanks GW, thats a great pep talk, am feeling rather [****] just now after 'talking' to OH as he always goes on about me only keeping my head above water by owning my horse. I think your so right, I need to pick myself up and sort myself out, I feel a bit like a silly wreck today. I will try get on and address my lack of confidence, I want to crack this x
 
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Oh hun.

Have a huge hug and a handful spare for later, and a hot choccy.

I haven't read all the replies, but I saw a wee bit about your OH being scared/worried for you. My OH is very supportive of all that I do, but when I came off Dizz, and afterwards, well, let's just say we had some discussions...

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Thanks hun, really appreciate it, OH ca be a nightmare, just cant work him out sometimes or anything else just now. I think this damn snow is messing with my brain.

Thank you to you all, you really have all been a god send, I feel such a pitiful being today and silly for making such a fuss.
I just hope I can do the right thing, I will try xx
 
I felt like you on monday after my man tried to kick the sh*t out of me and like you if its horse related my oh dont give a monkeys so i felt really low,most people where quite supportive but some not quite so much,I have persivered all week living on my nerves but as he is only 5 i really need to work through this. I really feel for you as you prob think its the end of the world but its not it WILL get better,If you do send him to retirement there is nothing wrong with that as he will live out his days happy and you can rest easy knowing you did the best for him throughout his life.
Good luck and dont feel bad whatever you decide x
 
PIB/MM, both of you
grin.gif


Have huge hugs from me, having forum known you for a while I know you are one of the nicest people going and don't deserve to be feeling crap. Could a sharer help? A helper, so you can ride when you feel like it but not at the other times?

As for your OH I cannot really comment but hope you can sort that out too, hugs and chocs and wine too
grin.gif


Kitty
 
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I felt like you on monday after my man tried to kick the sh*t out of me and like you if its horse related my oh dont give a monkeys so i felt really low,most people where quite supportive but some not quite so much,I have persivered all week living on my nerves but as he is only 5 i really need to work through this. I really feel for you as you prob think its the end of the world but its not it WILL get better,If you do send him to retirement there is nothing wrong with that as he will live out his days happy and you can rest easy knowing you did the best for him throughout his life.
Good luck and dont feel bad whatever you decide x

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Thanks hun, really appreciate that, I think you are right, it may not be the end and if she does go to retirement its not an awful option for her either. Will be talking to vet and checking a few things and having a bloody good think about it all, I dont want to jump the gun.
 
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PIB/MM, both of you
grin.gif


Have huge hugs from me, having forum known you for a while I know you are one of the nicest people going and don't deserve to be feeling crap. Could a sharer help? A helper, so you can ride when you feel like it but not at the other times?

As for your OH I cannot really comment but hope you can sort that out too, hugs and chocs and wine too
grin.gif


Kitty

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Thanks kitty, that is really sweet of you to say. I feel stronger today, not sure what I am going to do as yet. Retirement of Seren does make me feel very sad but it could be best. I am going to speak with my vet and see what they say, and also get her eyes checked to make sure there are no problems there to explain the spookiness.

Will keep all you guys posted, you have been such a fabulous bunch with all you wise and kind words, thank you to you all xx
 
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