Feel you are rushing all the time when you're with your horse?

Yes yes yes! I'm so glad I'm not the only one.
I work full time, 9-5.30pm and work is 30 mins from home and the yard. Yard is 15 mins from home. My pony is on a livery where I don't have to go every day, but when I do go I do jobs for my pony and yard owners horses too. On weeknights I rush. Even if I have time I rush. Pony senses I am rushing and won't be as good as when I am relaxed.
I feel guilty for getting home later than 8pm. My husband makes the odd comment too. He works in London now and then so on those nights I make the most of it, but I also have my dog so I need to fetch her first then go to the yard.
I don't rush at the weekends, well not usually. But I do everything at speed in general, I don't walk, I march.
 
Sometimes I do sometimes I don't...it depends what I have on. When I am not time restricted (one weekend day when OH watches football) and Thursday's when he plays football usually are my slow days. The other days I wouldn't say I rushed (except winter AM when I have to muck out etc before work at 8/9am but horse gets bought in for me PM!)
I currently have a 2yo so he's considerably less work (for now!) than a ridden horse so I think that helps.
 
I openly admit I rush everything! but pretty much always have time for dinner and catch up with OH.
It's true sometimes when I have a bit more time (which basically only happens on Sunday!) I occasionally have to remind myself I can take it slowly, as I am just so quick out of habit. I work 6 days and 2 evenings a week, and do a friends horses up to 3 days a week (just 2, down the road from mine). I have to work enough to make enough money for my 4 horses (they live out very cheap, but I am on low wages as a support assistant & charity play worker)

In the summer mine live out so I have more time to ride normally- last summer I backed my 2 ponies and was riding the other 2 as well. but this summer I am now over 7 months pregnant so they are just eating grass!

I want to make the most of my horses, so they are worth the effort! but actually sometimes it is nice to just see them happily eating and leave them too it! Sometimes when I could ride I decided not to as I simply felt I 'should' when I didn't really feel like i wanted to.
 
Yes all the time!
I work from 8:30-4:30 or 5 dependent on my hours, takes me 20-25 mins to get from work to the yard. Muck out the stable, ride (if I'm riding)
If I don't rush I find myself still at the yard at 7pm, then I still have to go home and cook dinner for me and OH, then do house chores etc.
I wish I had more time to faff and take my time with my horse, but sadly I don't :(
 
I do in the week. I work 8-4 most of them time but sometimes until 5. It's those days that feel a rush. To get to the yard, and ride and then get home and cook and run or go to the gym. It feels like such a rush.

I love weekends when I can potter round the yard at my own pace and spend more time with my pony!
 
I used to, then I lost 35lbs in 3 weeks and had a major health scare.

Now I don't do rushing, lI bimble.
Fortunately I work from home, and I am lucky enough to keep my horses at home so no commute to work or yard for me.

Also, with humidex it is 40C right now at almost 4pm, nobody rushes, anywhere, on days like this :D
 
Nope, as I am only have one horse at the moment, we spend a lot of time together pottering around.
I have a very full on job and I think if my hobby was rushed as well, I'd burn out!
It is much easier without an OH now, I must admit! No-one to complain if I leave the house at 7am and get back in at 9pm
 
millitiger said:
Nope, as I am only have one horse at the moment, we spend a lot of time together pottering around.
I have a very full on job and I think if my hobby was rushed as well, I'd burn out!
It is much easier without an OH now, I must admit! No-one to complain if I leave the house at 7am and get back in at 9pm
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This is one reason I do rush so much. I am also secretary for a riding club and equine show secretary for a large agricultural show and so constantly find myself rushing to spend some time with the husband. This is the first weeknight I haven't had anything on in a week. Does anyone else find themselves always feeling guilty for everything? I feel guilty for my horses,guilty for my husband and guilty for my family as I never get to spend much quality time with them :(

My own fault maybe? I am unfortunately a yes person and can't say no to other people. I am so pleased I am not on my own with the rushing thing.
 
Im also always in a rush, stressful job with long hours and commute means I share a horse at weekends ( no time in the week. This week; hour each way to/from work, start a half eight, finish, come home, eat tea, do more work until 9/10pm, got to sleep, then do it all again!).
Due to long hours during the week I have everything to do at the weekends, everything is time limited, my life is governed by the clock, never enough hours in the day etc
However, i always look forward to having nothing to do, but on the odd occasion that happens, I always struggle with having nothing to do!!! Can't please some people!!
 
Life is a constant rush, I am always feeling guilty, either for the horses or for family and friends. the house just get the quickest of flicks to keep things ticking over. The dog just has to come and wander around at the yard for exercise.
Thank God my partner is understanding, mostly! He has had to learn to cook and shop for himself.
Since having the horses, everything else is sort of neglected.
Timing at the yard is difficult, something has to give, to fit in riding and training, something has to give, so some days their grooming isn't perfect or there stables are dirty (24/7 out)until The next day. I could sleep on my nose and am getting poorer by the week. Still the best part of my life and the rewards out way the guilt and the chasing my tale.
 
Sprat said:
Then take into account cleaning the house (which seems to ALWAYS be a tip) do the shopping, make dinner and then try and find time to relax.
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I blame family for that. When I lived with my ex I spent 1/2hr per day clearing up in the morning, his mess from the night before. Then on a weekend a whole day was given over to spending 4hrs cleaning the house (he never did housework and was forever tramping through the house in muddy or oily boots) and food shopping. That was 8hrs a week I spent dealing with what was largely someone elses mess. I moved out and there was no mess in the morning because I tidied away after myself, shoes off at the door and dirty clothes changed once home and the flat took only 1hr a week to clean. What a difference. Kick your family up the butt and get them doing their share.

OP for the first 6mths of trying to combine work/horses I rushed, then when daydreaming one day about my horse, I realised I couldn't quite picture his face. I'd forgotten what my own horse looked like, because I never had time to stop "doing" and look at him. I changed my ways after that.
 
I used to rush! Two horses on DIY, full time job 8am till 4.30pm. Awkward YO meant I went up there at 5am to turn out, muck out, ride and be off the yard before she came out - even at weekends. My horses were well looked after but I didn't spend quality time with them - it was just a case of getting the job done.

Not anymore though. Now have one horse only on full livery. I'm self employed and working from home and horse is 5 minutes drive away - sometimes I cycle or walk there. All I have to worry about is what time I want to ride - some days I just go up and fuss/groom/watch her in the field while I drink tea and chat to the YO who is lovely. My horse is no much more relaxed and is becoming very affectionate towards me - whickering when she sees me approaching.
 
The wife said:
This is one reason I do rush so much. I am also secretary for a riding club and equine show secretary for a large agricultural show and so constantly find myself rushing to spend some time with the husband. This is the first weeknight I haven't had anything on in a week. Does anyone else find themselves always feeling guilty for everything? I feel guilty for my horses,guilty for my husband and guilty for my family as I never get to spend much quality time with them :(

My own fault maybe? I am unfortunately a yes person and can't say no to other people. I am so pleased I am not on my own with the rushing thing.
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Yes, I feel guilty all the time!! This is a big thing for me I think. I rush at the horse as I feel I am neglecting my OH, but when I am with OH I feel like I am neglecting the horse! Just end up feeling guilty either way and the only days I don't are Sat's and Sun's which he works and I don't so I don't feel so torn! He doesn't mind me being with Bilbo at all, but if I finish work at 5 and get to the horse around 5:30 and then poop-scoop, groom, ride, untack and put away e.t.c I won't get home until 8:30/9pm! Then its cook dinner and eat and go to sleep! I spend so much time feeling guilty, and trying to divide my time as evenly as I can. I will poop-scoop and groom, but won't ride for instance to save a bit of time!
 
Lots of responses that mirror my experience. Glad its not just me! I wouldn't mind but I get to the yard between 4.30 - 4.45pm and depending on what I want to do with the horse (he is fed at 4pm with the rest of the yard) I either ride quickly (hack) or muck out/hay/do feeds and then ride if schooling. So you would think I'd get done quickly.

So I could really get done for 6pm if I was to limit my hack to 40 mins and not pooh pick the paddock but the problem is that there's no point leaving the yard much before 6.30pm as the traffic is horrendous driving home until that time. So I can't really change my circumstances.

I do think the temptation to chill out whilst eating tea in front of Emmerdale and Coronation Street is a big pull too if I'm honest! And sometimes I wil drive to the park and walk the dog which I enjoy especially now I'm on my weight loss regime! :)
 
applecart14 said:
I do think the temptation to chill out whilst eating tea in front of Emmerdale and Coronation Street is a big pull too if I'm honest! And sometimes I wil drive to the park and walk the dog which I enjoy especially now I'm on my weight loss regime! :)
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I think this is my issue too, the temptation to get home and chill out in front of the TV is a big pull for me!
I am not currently riding as my mare has been off injured, but she's now coming back into work (with another braver rider) and I will then have to start getting back into riding again after work, and getting into the routine of not getting home before 7pm.

I tend to ride on the days when I finish at 4 or 4:30 as I find I just rush too much if I ride at 5pm and I'm sure my horse feels it and behaves worse!
 
So you want to be home in time for Emmerdale? That makes a difference as you're limiting your time rather than rushing.
 
Getting to the yard to ride before 6pm sounds blissful! I work until 5.30 and have an hour's commute so I am never onboard before 7. That sounds amazing haha!
 
I used to rush when I was on DIY. Since being on full livery, all I have to concentrate on is spending time with my horse.

I work 7.30-4pm, go straight to yard and get there between 4.30-5pm depending on traffic. I can easily spend 3 hours a day there, not getting home till 8pm some nights! The yard is like a time vaccuum for me! Definitely no rushing lol
 
I find I rush everywhere and with everything too. I think that's the accepted norm for a life with horses, dogs an having to keep a full time job to pay for it. It's not the rushing so much that's a problem for me (I'm used to that) but the guilt.

When I'm doing one thing, I feel guilty that' I'm not doing another (which makes the rushing worse as I try to cram it all in) I'm on the committee of my riding club. When I'm organising, I feel guilty that my horses are missing out and I'm not riding. When I'm riding, I feel guilty that others are doing the jobs I 'should' be doing. I ride one and feel guilty the other's in the field (I never intended to have two - one's a share but circumstances mean I've got the two more or less to myself at the moment).

All the time I'm either rising or organising riding club, I feel guilty that I'm not spending time with my OH (he works shifts so isn't often around at weekends so I feel I should be with him when he is) and when I'm with him, I feel guilty that the horses are being neglected (in relative terms, they're obviously fine!). I feel guilty that I don't see enough of my nieces or that I don't do enough to help my parents look after my 94 year-old grandma. To top it off my FiL has been in hospital 120 miles away for the last 5 weeks. My MiL is not an easy woman and refuses to drive the 25 miles (she can drive but hasn't for the last year) to the hospital or even get a taxi so OH and I are having to do a 290 mile round trip to take her to visit him. Work have been fab and I'm doing full time hours in 4 days at the moment so I can have one day to take her and still have a weekend. OH goes up twice a week in between working 10 hour shifts for 6 days solid and still that's not enough for her.

The horses are usually the first thing to give if I really have to do something else - in that I'll get up extra early to ride or won't ride one weekend day so I can see my OH / nieces / grandma / inlaws. I rarely compete any more because it takes all day and I haven't got that time. I really enjoy clinics and lessons though so focus on those for now....and then feel guilty because the boys are both 20 and I know I'm going to regret not doing more with them when I can't...and so it starts again!

I should add, nobody tries to make me feel guilty (well MiL tries but I refuse to give in to her) It's just me!
 
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Bilbo_Baggins said:
I should add, nobody tries to make me feel guilty (well MiL tries but I refuse to give in to her) It's just me!
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Same here. I have never been made to feel guilty for the time I spend with Bilbo by anyone (though sometimes Bilbo makes me feel more guilty when he sees me, yells his head off like I haven't seen him for a year, and gallops madly over!), that I don't spend with OH, but I do anyway! I need to work it out in my own mind. I was getting really worried about it, so I am glad I found this thread and realised I am not the only one who feels "torn" between family, OH, and horses! I am trying to slow down and enjoy the time with Bilbo. Tonight I finish work at 5pm. I will go hang out with Bilbo, poop-scoop and take him for a wee hack and then cycle home when I am finished. No rush it will take as long as it takes and mostly I intend to ENJOY MYSELF! :)
 
Sugar_and_Spice said:
I blame family for that. When I lived with my ex I spent 1/2hr per day clearing up in the morning, his mess from the night before. Then on a weekend a whole day was given over to spending 4hrs cleaning the house (he never did housework and was forever tramping through the house in muddy or oily boots) and food shopping. That was 8hrs a week I spent dealing with what was largely someone elses mess. I moved out and there was no mess in the morning because I tidied away after myself, shoes off at the door and dirty clothes changed once home and the flat took only 1hr a week to clean. What a difference. Kick your family up the butt and get them doing their share.
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^THIS^
 
EBHouse said:
Getting to the yard to ride before 6pm sounds blissful! I work until 5.30 and have an hour's commute so I am never onboard before 7. That sounds amazing haha!
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I'm like EBHouse - I get to the yard around 4.40-4.45pm. Its great. I temp so I can pick and choose my hours, and I've never been out of work in between contracts more than a couple of weeks because of the hours I am so insistent that I do. I've not worked later than 4.15pm since about 2006! :) I know I'm lucky but then I don't have the benefits of permanent contract, so it does have its disadvantages too!
 
I feel like I rush around everywhere at the moment but without even realizing it, until I read this, I slow down when i'm at the yard! my stable neighbor commented last night about how long it takes me to tack up! I always give myself at least 40 mins to groom and tack up, where as others chuck tack on in 5 mins and are off immediately!
 
Kezzabell2 said:
I feel like I rush around everywhere at the moment but without even realizing it, until I read this, I slow down when i'm at the yard! my stable neighbor commented last night about how long it takes me to tack up! I always give myself at least 40 mins to groom and tack up, where as others chuck tack on in 5 mins and are off immediately!
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Hah that feels like me too. I don't think I rush around but I am efficient when I'm at the yard as I have a generally tight timeframe to work in. It is a shame as it means I don't get as much time to chew the fat, chat to liveries, play with the pony etc. When I do get that time, I love it, and spend forever there and really appreciate the extra stuff I get to do.

But I def feel like there is never enough time to do all the things I'd like, and you have to compromise to make sure you get time with family and friends as well as horse time. I haven't got the right mix but I realise I'm very lucky to have so much fun stuff in my life.

I do echo people saying we should pause, take a moment to smell the roses (or the horse poo!) and really appreciate our surroundings a bit more.
 
Kezzabell2 said:
I feel like I rush around everywhere at the moment but without even realizing it, until I read this, I slow down when i'm at the yard! my stable neighbor commented last night about how long it takes me to tack up! I always give myself at least 40 mins to groom and tack up, where as others chuck tack on in 5 mins and are off immediately!
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This is actually true for me. I like grooming and I spend a lot of time doing it. Probably why I don't have much time to ride and poop-scoop, as if I am tacking up I am of course grooming before and after and that is where the time goes hahaha. :D
 
I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way! Out of around 20 owners or so at my yard, I'm the one that both lives and works furthest away.
I live 25 minutes from yard, and work is 1 -1.5 hours from home/yard depending on traffic. I have 2 which I try to do on DIY to save money, one is currently on boxrest which necessitates twice daily visits. I work 5-6 days a week, shifts ranging from 5:30-9:00 starts to 1:30-5:00pm finishes. I also have to try and squeeze in family time, time for an OH that I don't live with, care of 1 dog, 2 cats, a few mice and fish, housework (usually falls by the wayside), sleep and a bit of a social life.
It's so hard, I'm usually out of bed before 5:30, don't get home until 8:30ish at night, my house is a tip, I feel guilty that I don't spend time with my OH/cats/dog/family, I survive on about 5 hours sleep a night, caffeine and sugar and always look like hell because of it.
 
Can I ask all the guilty people why you feel the need to do everything every day? I think my OH was a guilty person, he was always rushing here and there, then turning up to see me at gone 10pm, announcing he was tired, then falling asleep shortly after. It started to seriously annoy me so I put a stop to him coming every day. Now I have days I don't ride so I can get home early because we're going out, and days where I totally do my own thing and spend hours at the yard because I'm not seeing him. It's much better.
 
Sugar_and_Spice said:
Can I ask all the guilty people why you feel the need to do everything every day? I think my OH was a guilty person, he was always rushing here and there, then turning up to see me at gone 10pm, announcing he was tired, then falling asleep shortly after. It started to seriously annoy me so I put a stop to him coming every day. Now I have days I don't ride so I can get home early because we're going out, and days where I totally do my own thing and spend hours at the yard because I'm not seeing him. It's much better.
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That is a really good question Sugar_and_Spice and I don't have a good answer! I like your solution though and that is what I have been trying to do so I can have some balance and not feel guilty because I am not at home with OH, or helping family out, or riding my horse. I have done much better this week already by setting aside this evening as "pony time" which I am looking forward too!
 
Sugar_and_Spice said:
Can I ask all the guilty people why you feel the need to do everything every day? I think my OH was a guilty person, he was always rushing here and there, then turning up to see me at gone 10pm, announcing he was tired, then falling asleep shortly after. It started to seriously annoy me so I put a stop to him coming every day. Now I have days I don't ride so I can get home early because we're going out, and days where I totally do my own thing and spend hours at the yard because I'm not seeing him. It's much better.
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I don't. At the moment I'm lucky if I ride twice a week in the evenings - once a week per horse - as I'm in work until 6.30 so by the time I get home, walk the dog and have tea, a quick check in the field is all I can manage.
Some days I do nothing after work if OH has been off so has walked dog and made tea and my friend has checked horses...and then feel guilty about it! I'm just programmed to feel guilty. I blame my mother, she's exactly the same.
 
I am always running around like a headless chicken! Well no, I have everything down to a t in efficency. I feed them at 7am so am at work for 7.30am, luckily I work 5mins away. Back just after 9am to turn out, back at work by 9.30am. On the days that I work in the evening too I muck out over my lunch break, unless work is too busy then I do it after work and don't ride. Back to the work til 4pm-ish then home to ride, hay, feed and water. I need to be back home home for 6.50pm 4-5 nights a week to start work from home at 7pm so everything is pretty much crammed into 2.5 hours. I am glad I am not on a Livery yard with people yapping. I can just tuck my head down and kick on.

On the evenings I don't work I can actually take my time riding and grooming. I still hate mucking out with a passion though lol!

Days off are spent catching up on all of the things I cut corners on when working.

Someone please remind me why I have horses?!?!?
 
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