Feeling a bit foolish!

_jetset_

_jetset_

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This morning I took Grace over to Spencer for a lesson... I have not seen him for absolutely ages due to the weather etc. so was interested to see what he thought of Grace in the new bit.

It didn't start well as I had forgotten my stirrups (I know... what a dope!) so had to borrow some of a lovely lady who runs the saddlery
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Huge thanks to her as didn't fancy doing the lesson without them
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Anyway, she warmed up okish, a bit arsey about some things but no where near as horrid as she was a few weeks ago. Spencer worked on our straightness because I still feel this is an issue, and this is when I started to realise that it is not the bloody horse, it is me
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Spencer shouted at me because I have fallen into some bad habits, including shortening my inside rein and asking her round the circle on that rather than really insisting on her bringing the shoulder around. I honestly thought I had been doing this and felt as though I had been quite strict with her, but mid lesson her said that she is simply walking all over me
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I have been feeling as though we are getting a bit more of a partnership again, but today has made me realise that she is still only offering me 50% of what she should be. Spencer made me really bring her shoulders around (albeit with a few shouts and encouraging her forwards in the middle of the school) and I have to say the quality of the right canter improved 80% and the left canter came really up in her shoulder and she started sitting more on her hocks.

I feel a bit foolish because I have been thinking we are getting it right, when in fact, we are actually not
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Spencer also said that really we should not have to be going through this at this stage (again, my fault not Grace's) and I have tonnes of homework to get done now before the next lesson with him
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I am now umming and ahhing about whether I should go to Manor Grange this weekend... she did really well there a few weeks ago, but I now feel as though we shouldn't really be thinking about going out, instead we should be at home training and getting this shoulder issue sorted.
 
don't feel foolish you fool everyone does this!! I have this cycle very very regularly!!

At least you have had a lesson and KNOW what you need to work on - if it was feeling alright even she was "only giving you 50%" then is will be SUPER when you get the full shebang from her!!

Chin up and don't worry
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(Im not very good at helping talk lol)
 
But thats why we have lessons so we can find out the things we are doing wrong
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. Also lets face it very few of us have a knowledgeable eye on the ground during normal schooling, so what feels good from on top can turn out not to be!!!

Go anyway though - and enjoy!!

Fiona
 
Blame it on forgetting your stirrups
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and do the comp! Try and implement what you had to do in the lesson in the test, as you've paid your money you may as well get something from it!
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Thing is, B, you will never, ever, have every movement perfect!! Go to Manor Grange and do the best you can, it can't be THAT bad or you wouldn't have done so well last time!! At least you are getting your problems pointed out so you can try to fix them! Go, and enjoy!
 
None of us are perfect - don't be so hard on yourself (easier said than done as I am my harshest critic too!)

You and grace have come such a long way and sometimes we need to step back to move forwards.

Chin up chicken - go out and compete and do what I do - have fun, enjoy riding a lovely horse and meeting people while doing what is your hobby!
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[ QUOTE ]
You are much too hard on yourself , if we were any good at riding we would all be pros. Just go and enjoy yourself

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Exactly ! We cant all be Anky or Ulla. Just do what makes you happy - whether that be staying at home doing your 'homework', or going out to compete
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Edited to add : Spencer sounds quite strict
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Thank you for all the replies, and apologies for not replying to them all individually.

I know that this is the reason we have lessons, but I just feel as though I have been letting her down. How on earth is she supposed to work straight when I am confusing the issue completely
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I just feel so annoyed with myself to be honest at the moment and am getting frustrated with me, not Grace! When I asked yesterday the way he was getting me to ask, it all worked pretty well
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He is strict, but he is also bloody right too and not without justification. I think he was more disappointed than anything else
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He said that really we should be starting to work on other things like some half pass etc. at this stage, but I have felt she is not ready... It looks like it is me who is not ready
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I can't understand it because I don't do any of these things on Han and I am really strict with her because you have to be. I don't know why I am letting Grace 'walk all over me' as Spencer put it. I just don't!
 
So what that you're not learning half pass etc at this point in time?! I'm sure there are lots of things we "should" be doing at any particular stage in time, but most of the time we're not where we "should" be as we are only human and they are only horses
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Relax hon, enjoy your horse and stop putting pressure on yourself when its completely unnecessary. You're income doesnt rely on you doing well, your life isnt going to drastically change if you dont get over 65% in a dr test
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So just relax, enjoy the ride and be proud of the improvements you have made and the many morethat will continue to happen!!
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Thanks KatB... the difficult thing is that I have taught Han halfpass and pirouttes etc etc without any second thoughts, and I really do not let Han get away with anything at all because once she does you have a long battle on your hands to get it back.

So I cannot understand why I do not have this same mentality when it comes to Grace
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Why do I let her walk all over me? And how the hell do I correct it when I have been feeling as though I have got tough with her recently? It clearly has not been enough
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I know what you are saying about just enjoying her, but I am my own harshest critic and I am also striving to get it right too... I can't just sit back and enjoy it when I know I am causing most of the problems that are now occurring. Perhaps I am a bit of a perfectionist, I am in other aspects of life, so I guess it was only a matter of time before it leaked over into my riding.
 
JetSet, Grace is your baby, and you have spent so much money and energy on getting her well that I can quite understand you acting differently with her and letting her get away with things. Maybe you feel that if you move on to more advanced things she will break again? From reading your posts I think that you worry a lot (I can't talk, I'm the world's worst worrier!), especially about Grace.

Of course, I can't help you out with a way to STOP worrying, unfortunately
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All I can say is that you're a great rider, and you have a couple of fantastic and talented horses to ride. Grace has such an amazing amount of potential that YOU can unlock, I hope that you can get on and be stern with her
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Isabelle
 
Try to allow the Lesson to wash over you, take the good bits & the feel from them & try to re-produce them. Don't allow yourself to get dissapointed it's hard but just try. I have had this happen to me so many times as i to am my Harshest critic. So i learned that instead of letting it drag me down to just keep going & trying to re-produce that feel that i had in my lesson. It does work after a while.

I train with Spencer also when i can he doesnt get strict with me he gives up lol he says im difficult lol might be because i get at him
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. I love the perfection that he brings to the lesson.
It does sound like maybe he's been a little hard on you. But then again maybe it's just your more sensitive when it comes to Grace & i can understand that. So forget the words & think about the feel you got when it went right in the lesson. Im sure your next lesson will be great.

Get out there & enjoy competing again.
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[ QUOTE ]
JetSet, Grace is your baby, and you have spent so much money and energy on getting her well that I can quite understand you acting differently with her and letting her get away with things. Maybe you feel that if you move on to more advanced things she will break again? From reading your posts I think that you worry a lot (I can't talk, I'm the world's worst worrier!), especially about Grace.

Of course, I can't help you out with a way to STOP worrying, unfortunately
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All I can say is that you're a great rider, and you have a couple of fantastic and talented horses to ride. Grace has such an amazing amount of potential that YOU can unlock, I hope that you can get on and be stern with her
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Isabelle

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Thanks for the reply Isabelle, but as my farrier said to me last night, enough excuses regarding what has been it is now time to think of the here and now
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Easier said than done I think!

I just wish I could get on and feel emotionally dettached from her and see whether that changes anything, however, we all know that is never going to happen
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But I really need to sort out a way to stop her walking all over me as that is not going to do any of us any good
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[ QUOTE ]
Try to allow the Lesson to wash over you, take the good bits & the feel from them & try to re-produce them. Don't allow yourself to get dissapointed it's hard but just try. I have had this happen to me so many times as i to am my Harshest critic. So i learned that instead of letting it drag me down to just keep going & trying to re-produce that feel that i had in my lesson. It does work after a while.

I train with Spencer also when i can he doesnt get strict with me he gives up lol he says im difficult lol might be because i get at him
blush.gif
. I love the perfection that he brings to the lesson.
It does sound like maybe he's been a little hard on you. But then again maybe it's just your more sensitive when it comes to Grace & i can understand that. So forget the words & think about the feel you got when it went right in the lesson. Im sure your next lesson will be great.

Get out there & enjoy competing again.
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I don't think he has been hard on me at all, I think he has been bloody realistic, said it as he is and he knows I can take it. After all, when I first went I told him I am not one to sugar coat things at all. I find that I respond better to instructors who do actually give be a good bo!!ocking because it seems to stick in my head and yes, although I do mull over things, at least it is fresh in my mind
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I just feel so angry with myself for letting her down, I guess that is the be all and end all of how I am feeling right now
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I have decided to go to Manor Grange on Saturday, but will just see how she feels with regards to how much I ask of her.
 
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