Feeling a bit meh...

Kat_Bath

Kat_Bath

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I've been wondering whether to post this now for a couple of days as 1) I'm a bit of a lurker and 2) I think I just need to man up. But I really need some horsey understanding so I wonder if you'd be so kind as to read on?

In short, I rode a lot in the summer thanks to a kind friend who leant me a horse and who lifted me after my car went to car heaven too. Then I moved to Bristol and I've ridden twice in 3 and 1/2 months; once in September and once last Sunday.

I rode a friends horse on Sunday and left the ground for the first time in a year and a bit. Nothing too high, about 2 ft 3. I felt like I needed to jump to keep my confidence up as I've never been great but I'm a trier and one day, I'd just like to be able to go to a few clear rounds. I don't want to go to Olympia or anything like that!

Anyway, I fell, twice. We ended up doing grid work and I got left behind in the middle but kind horsey kept going and I plopped heavily out the side door. The first thing I said to my friend when asked if I was ok was 'I just want to get back on'!! Then went down the grid again and was fine, then again and he came out and turned sharply and I fell out the same door again. Oops! My fault on both occasions.

I am fine, I have been checked as I did hit my head and pulled what seemed like every muscle in my neck! All is good.

I said to friend that in a way, I'm glad it wasn't all perfect as I haven't fallen for a long time and I think it gave me a useful reality check. I took 2 days off work and for the last 2 days have been experiencing possible delayed shock, crying for a couple of seconds when I remember I fell and also feeling disappointed despite the fact I got back on twice and jumped afterwards, twice.

I am now lying in bed, feeling really pants and unable to sleep. At minimum I am used to riding once a week. Or at least seeing a horse! But currently, my addiction is going unfed. I have ambitions but I just don't feel I'll ever achieve them. I don't had a car or enough money to buy/insure one. Luckily, my girlfriend is a saint and enjoys staying in bed on a Sunday morning and also put me on her car insurance which is how I managed to get out at the weekend but she doesn't live locally and I only see her on the weekends.

I'm just moaping I know. I should count myself lucky I know. But when you can't do something that makes you so happy, it's frustrating.

I feel bad for coming here unannounced and posting such a lot of rubbish but I guess I just want reassurance that there's plenty of time left to do everything I want to, right?

You deserve a prize if you got this far. Thank you for reading my post of utter mindless drivel.

Kat x
 
Take it from me, I know exactly how you feel, bless you.

I broke myself quite badly about 6 years ago and due to my injuries could not get back on straight away.

Various tests after showed I was pregnant!!!!!!! Not planned or indeed ever in gods own planet ment to happen!!

I now am a nervous wreck ( have ridden since was 3 and evented and broke myself worse than that day!)

Don't beat yourself up, I am slowly getting back into it, am I totally relaxed? No, .. Most of the time I hate it :( but...,,, when I have been successful and had a good experience, all of my success before my break means nothing, the joy of getting off and knowing I did good means much more :)

Hope this makes sense, In short, take small steps and don't do more than you want to do, no matter how much you think you should do :) xxxx
 
I agree with the above, falls are nasty horrible things and even worse when you haven't been able to ride regularly. I'd suggest riding as often as you can but taking it slowly and not being too scared to ask for help. I had a bad fall years ago and almost ended up selling my horse because I was too scared to ride in more than a walk. With the right instructor and an awful lot of determination I still have him, and another and am taking things slowly day by day.

Don't stress about things you're not comfortable doing, just try to challenge yourself a little more each time, even in tiny steps, it's so worth it as I'm sure you already know.

Good luck.
 
Thank you very, very much for your replies. They are very much appreciated.

Im not afraid to ask for help. If it were up to me, I'd have a lesson every day. I know I can improve and I know i can do it. It's just frustrating not having a means to an end, both car-wise and facilities-wise.

I'm lying here playing over and over again how I could've done it better and what my bad habits are. I'm itching to get back on and try again.

I need to be patient, I know.

I'm going to try and sleep... Thank you again. I should also apologise for typos; I'm using my iPod and it automatically thinks it knows what I want to type which, sometimes is useful, others times not!
 
Dont beat yourself up about it, you were jumping for the first time in ages and you didnt know the horse very well, didnt understand him or have a feel for him like a regular rider would

You got back on after you fell, that counts for a lot and if you get the chance to ride the same horse again I would put money on you being better next time round

The bus service in Bristol is good (if expensive) are there riding schools you can get to easily that may provide you with a more regular source of riding? there always used to be a couple on bus routes in and around Bath certainly

Sit back and relax for a few days - you have many things to be glad of, your girlfriend sounds like a poppet for instance

Just remember getting upset about things that have already happened is a waste of your emotions x x
 
I have always ridden my mum has always since a kid my dad later as his faimily couldnt afford, my mum was very ill in her late fifties nearly died more than once.
She never said at the time but later told us even though we knew she had months of physio when she got home she was afraid to walk on her own lost her confidence she started to ride again did not tell us she was afraid at first.

This lady has ridden since she was a child dont beat yourself up do what you feel comfortable with unfortunatly she is now riding my dads pointers in her sixties and he is in his seventies so we the children are the ones biting our finger nails, so you can get it back.

One day at a time and dont do too much just enjoy.
 
WelshD, thank you. Jo, my gf is very good too me-far too good! Luckily, she understands that it's a love as well as a hobby. But she doesn't really understand why I get so meh when I don't ride, hence my post on here.
There is a place that a bus goes to in Bristol so I am going to enquite about evening lessons. Finger crossed. Having spent 3 years at uni in Bath, my experience of schools is that they are few and far between and buses are a bit pants but Bristol seems better so I'll give it a go.

TF, you're right, I know. Thank you for your replies.

And than you MW and BC1 for your replies last night too. I was just wallowing and feeling a bit helpess. I will send an email to a prospective riding school now :)

Thank you again, it's very much appreciated :)

Kat x
 
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