Feeling blue

I feel for you too, could you not sell the youngster, settle into your married/family life and then consider getting a horse/pony later on once your settled financial wise and in the meantime ride the other horses you can, or get lessons?
 
Ticky one this....
I notice having read the other posts that you are on a livery yard.
I can understand the drain on the old finances, but is your YO open to a different type of livery whilst you are producing small people?
While your beastie is 3, how about 24/7 turn out? Go all natural and keep the costs down. You can then 'do' your beastie when time allows and even if you don't ride her for 3 years, if she is backed before you have children, you will be able to get back on.
Reading between the lines, I can almost hear your heart breaking at having to de horse. No disrespect but if you get £3,000 for her it 'aint gonna go far and then you fall in to the 'I can't afford a new horse' spiral.
Just take your time...you will make the right decision.
Best of luck
Bryndu
 
Bryndu - thank you so much for your post. And everyone else. Full turnout isn't an option where I am,limited grazing and shelter means they have to come in at night over the winter. I'm reluctant to move as the yard is at the back of my house and as you have seen my best friend is there.

I am really touched by everyone's replies. It is good to know I'm not the only one in this position and to hear from people who have been there.

My mind is in a turmoil at the moment. Every post I read I change it! Keep them coming, thank you.
 
The fact that you are feeling sad about not having a horse is telling you what the answer is. Don't sell it! You will need to be able to escape to see your horse when the going gets tough (I am told children are hard work :-))
 
I read this because I just searched on "family" as I was thinking of starting a thread in along similar lines....

I have a very non-horsey (can't even tie up a haynet) but VERY supportive DH, and two children aged two and four. I have four horses at home, my 26 yr old retired one, a 16h hunter and a welshie and shetland for the children.

Particularly in the winter, it is hard going! I have everything as easy as it could be - horses at home, enough money, and supportive husband. But still, it is really hard to find the time to ride - I have no family nearby so I beg childcare from friends, take the children to the school or gallops with me, or ride at the crack of dawn if DH leaves for work a little bit later (like 8am, he's usually out at 6.30 or 7). I leave the children in front of the telly to do the horses, which I feel guilty about, or get up at silly o'clock to do them before they wake up, or after they are asleep when I'm knackered. All I do is feed things and clean up ****! And when they were babies it meant I often did horses with a screaming child in a buggy next to me. Not fun. These last few weekends when the weather has meant no riding or hunting, we have had really really lovely family weekends just mooching about, and we have both commented on how maybe we should give up our hobbies and stop rushing about so much.

BUT when it is good it is great! The children are obsessed, so I now have little friends to take with me to watch eventing in the summer (and DD1 can recognise A LOT of the event riders now!). In the summer we are outside playing ponies all the time. And when I manage to ride, it is some peace and quiet and an escape from domesticity. The above sounds like a bit of a sob story, but it's only what a million mothers do every day - juggle children, jobs, animals, outside interests. And it is possible, but only if you are willing to put the work in - it is a lot of effort to do anything else outside looking after children, they drain everything out of you! Obviously you also have to be very careful with money too, and make sure you do a budget and know that you can afford it.

If you want to keep your horse you can, but it will be a juggle and your OH does need to understand that you need to do it, and never ever niggle or moan! It helps if he has his own interests. Our lives work as he does his own thing (cars) and is away a lot, and neither of us niggles the other (mostly!) as I think the balance is fair (although we don't see much of each other!)

Sorry for the ramble!
 
Thank you tootsietoo. It is very interesting to hear how other people cope. Our lives need to change drastically before we are ready for children, and that's not even thinking about the horse! I think we need to get ourselves into a different routine that would allow children in before making a decision about the horse. I dream of being able to give my children the childhood you are giving yours.
 
Definitely - it's all about prioritising. Decide what is really important to you both and spend your time and money on that. TBH we don't go on holidays, we don't have smart cars and we don't have a big mortgage (we rent). We would rather spend money on horses/racing car.

You've got to feel the same way about your priorities though. It's hard if one of you has an expensive time consuming interest and the other hasn't - I see that with my friends.

If you do sell your horse, it might be worth trying to put the money away in its own bank account and not touch it, so that it is there in 5 years when/if you feel ready to buy another.
 
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