Feeling completely and utterly let down!!!

[SpottyTB]

Sorry need to vent and sort of ask a question at the same time...
Bit of a long one, so bare with me please.

2 years ago, i decided to find a rider for my lovely little spotty mare. I'd literally just finished the season on a high, having competed in several hunter trials coming in the top 3 every time and competed at our local county show in the inter-hunt relay and doing amazing (stuff i never dreamt i'd get to do on her!)

It was an incredibly hard decision, but i felt like i couldn't do anymore and with my warmblood coming up to ridden age and my husbands hunter needing riding - i decided that spotty needed someone else. Too precious to sell - a bit to scatty (although a wonderful talent) to sell .. so i put an advert out for loan to stay at present yard. I hard so many enquiries, all wanting her to jump - i didn't want her to be used as a complete machine for a pot hunter - so decided to go with a local girl, who mainly wanted to hack, hunt with the occasional lesson or show (perfect!!).

So skip on a year, said woman had had spotty on loan with me successfully for the year - had picked up the routine, helped out - lovely job! We moved yards for several reasons, and i made the decision - because i liked and trusted said girl - to let my beloved spotty pony go away from me to another yard (on loan still).

I visited several times - all was fine - a few little things that niggled me (mainly her letting said pony be cheeky and get away with murder at times)! Last April, i wanted to borrow pony for the inter hunt again, went to pick her up to take her to a trial - and literally took her rug off to find not much more than skin and bones under her rug - put it this way, she could not lose much more. So i gave loaner a firm talking too (advice given really), and i decided to give her a chance because it was the first year of managing pony in the winter without any help from me and i did wander if pony was a bit glum about the yard moves (x2) and maybe leaving me - i'm pretty much all she knows.

Anyway, pony put on a bit of weight over the summer - not really enough to completely satisfy me, but enough to give me hope that she was on top of it. Loaner recently asked me about hunt cards - as she wants to get out hunting etc etc... been riding her every weekend, this sunday she went for a 1.5hr ride ... we were due to meet her after her ride as other half was going to shoe her. Went to the yard, pony was brought up to van for shoeing. Loaner says to me "urgh she's got a couple of little knicks on her hinds"... so i go and have a look, well my god... said knicks were about 2inches wide/tall, one was REALLY hot and swollen and the other (obviously the older wound) had sand/grit/mud in it! She was sound, not moving 100% how i'd like but was sound - but not sure i'd have ridden her to be honest...

Then i took her rug off.... again, skin and bone. Really tiny version of the horse i loaned in the first place. I'm absolutely gutted. Loaner has only just put her in a heavyweight (she's a TBxKnabstrupper - so not exactly a heavy fat hairy cob)... also living out 24/7 on a field of 1ft mud and they were throwing out 1.5 small bales of hay a day - between 2 large horses and my 15hh mare. Needless to say, loaner and i had words - i was very nice, but it was agreed that i was going to take spotty pony back. Picked her up the next day and she's out on a long holiday with my gran in a field full of grass and NICE non bullying/kicking company!!

I feel so sad that it went that far and AGAIN having offered so much advice.. I feel like the bad person for removing pony but i'm really not sure i'd have had a pony left by the end of the winter...

So my question is, do decent knowledgeable people exist that want to ride horses like mine?! She's amazing, 15hh whizzy pony - a bit quirky... but my god, she'll jump anything you point her at out hunting (5 bar gates, banks, hedges, ditches etc)... competed successfully in open HT's (always in top 3)... clear and placed 1m show jumping... 100% in traffic, sometimes jogs out but settles with more work. You can do anything with her on the ground!

Obviously said pony will be on holiday until she is fat and happy - and back to the horse i know her as, i will then start riding her again and then consider someone riding her from my grans... i don't think i'm confident enough to let her go again so sad this has happened!

 

[Chinchilla]

This is awful: poor you, poor mare! Honestly the horse sounds a stunner too; a perfect horse for someone, ( though I'm quite partial to a spotty mare and more than a little bias lol) .
If it's any help I think there are some sites out there where you can advertise horses for loan but the loanee have to sign a contract with the loaner? I think horses4homes is one, and rehomemyhorse is another ( I think!), so if you do decide to loan her out again (though tbh if I were you I probably wouldn't) then maybe that, or something like it, would be worth trying to prevent this horrible occurrence happening again?

 

[FHC1612]

I haven't been in the exact same position, but my friend has. She had a 17hh Thoroughbred X, who was loaned out and then came back pure bone, in the end he couldn't walk out of his stable and had to be put down. It's just a shame really that some people do that, especially without realising.

The worst I've had was when my 19yo 14hh nutty pony went out on loan. It was a perfect PC home, that utterly adored him and I couldn't be happier, so we then sold him to them as we needed the money, due to family circumstances.

Then a year after the girl had a growth spurt and they said he was on loan to their friend. I hate his new owners so bad, the boy is a spoilt brat, I despise his attitude. He has 3 ponies already who he hardly does anything with. We told the owners to avoid hunting him because he's extremely sharp and can get quite dangerous if not handled in a strong way. The tiny boy took him out hunting and my pony chucked him off (we haven't been told the full details, but from what I've pieced together he just bombed off as soon as the pack went and he somehow came off, as Jason (pony) was galloping so fast and the rider couldn't pull him up, Jason couldn't pick his legs up in time and crashed though the wooden fence)

I get upset about this as he's now 20/21 and should be having a quieter life teaching children the ropes, but instead he gets wasted doing nothing and when he does do something, the way the boy rides makes me wince. When he jumps, which is all he does, he pulls hard on the reins and stays vertical, its painful to see.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

OP, I'm glad you got your spotty back. Tbh I think I would have taken her back the first time. Should you decide to loan her again, I suggest that you make sure that she stays where you can see her daily.

As for those who think they should have a say over a horse they have sold ......... If you want to be able to have a say in its future - don't sell!

 

[SpottyTB]

Thanks for the reply Chinchilla! It's been a bit of a nightmare - and i feel extremely guilty - feel like i should have visited her more than i did! I just thought that after she'd had her for the year with me - she'd be a little more switched on. If i do part with her again, i will be extremely firm about where and who, maybe i am better off with someone who wants to compete her! Will see..

FHC1612 - oh that's very sad about your pony, and sadly, that is the exact same reason why i will never part with her (sell). I've been offered good money for her in the past, and i've turned it down... i feel because of her natural talent over a fence and how foot sure she is - she'd be used as a machine to wine rosettes. She'd love it for a while but she'd soon get fed up!!!

Pearlsacarolsinger - I know, i think you are right .. i guess i wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. I was also promised a lot - ie; feeding throughout the summer to get her ready for winter, coming in at night in the winter, ab lib hay in the field and only 2 horses (spotty and 1 other) on the field - so she had more grass .... all of which she's failed to do .

A complete nightmare...

Picture of said horse with me...

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[Pearlsasinger]

she is lovely. Very similar to our Appy x Welsh mare

 

[Elf On A Shelf]

One of mine was the other way round. I told the loaner 3 times over 2 years to get loads of weight off of the pony as she was lucky he didn't have lammi yet. She promised me she was, she went on holiday and came back to him with lammi so I brought him home. He is now out in the most fantastic loan home, has been for the last 4 years but he will probably be coming back next summer.

 

[Snowfilly]

Nothing useful to add but I recognise your mare from The inter hunt relay a couple of years ago at Royal Cornwall! Always good to see a spotty out and about

 

[The Fuzzy Furry]

There are folk who would love her (shame you are not nearer). But having got fingers v burnt, I bet you'll be very very picky in the future! Really hope she comes right soon, poor lass xx

 

[SpottyTB]

Pearlsacarolsinger - she is lovely and a lovely temperament too - very comical!!
EKW - Oh god, that's awful. That must have been so frustrating for you!! Sounds like taking him back paid off though, what with his new home.
Snowfilly - ahh yes that's the problem with spottys like mine... not too many around, so we're easily spotted ;p!

The Xmas Furry - thank you, hopefully so.. i think i might be a nightmare in future!! To be honest, she's 11 and has had a VERY busy few years - so i'm not too fussed if she sits in the field for a year - i owe it to her i think!!!

 

[Bernster]

What a shame. Sounds like your pony is one of those rare loan ponies and has so much to offer. Really sad that you've had a bad loan experience. There are good loaners but, like good loan horses, maybe they're pretty rare too! Loaning to a different yard is a risk sadly.

Not sure what size your pony is but I'd be inclined to go for a smaller adult, more experienced in looking after horses, and ideally through personal connections, if you want to loan again.

I ended up selling my gelding to my loaner. She was on the same yard for years, it was me who moved yards with my new horse, and although he didn't do as much work and was more a happy hacker, he was well looked after and had a fab home. So yes they are out there.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Glad you got her back, lovely mare.

I nearly lost a mare who I'd loaned out when I went to uni. Like you, it seemed ok at first, and the gaps between my visits got longer. She was skin and bone and hours from death by dehydration when we picked her up. She did recover.

I said I'd never loan a horse out again, but 35 years later I have , and the current arrangement is working well.

 

[SpottyTB]

Bernster - Sorry - just re read my post... it does sound like she's a child... pony was on loan to an adult... she's owned/ridden horses for last 10 years... so thought she'd be ok to have her at her own yard - oh how i was wrong!

Gem's great, but she does need someone - a small adult - i don't think i could risk putting a child on her - who will RIDE her and tell her whats what when she tries it... she's a fantastic competition/hunting small horse, but too much for a child i think.

Tiddlypom - yes she is super duper, and i do have to say.. i think she was happy to be home with me. She wouldn't leave me alone bless her! Glad i'm not the only one and it's happened to other people.. i just can't help but feel like i've let her down...

 

[shirl62]

It beggars belief that the loaner could not see your poor spotty getting thinner and thinner. Even someone like me who as a mature lady who started riding about a year ago and has never owned/loaned a horse would recognise emaciation/neglect as that what it boils down to.

Glad she is back home with her mum...Big hugs and carrots for Spotty ( is she allowed carrots )

Shirl

 

[SpottyTB]

Well she's not quite emaciated - but half the horse she was....
Just for a comparison...

BEFORE


AFTER

 

[AShetlandBitMeOnce]

I am so sorry that this has happened, that photo is quite shocking to me. Not skin and bone no, but far beyond the realms of unacceptable. It's a real shame that this has happened as now you will be, understandably, not willing to risk it again.

On the side of loaners though, there are good ones out there! I went and saw Jake, who had been turned out in the field for a long while, took his rug off and made sure he had 4 legs and took him home. Cured the mud fever/cellulitis, brought him back into work, muscled him up and we qualified for the sunshine tour. I loved the absolute bones off him. Before and after photos below, just to show the good side of loaning!

The day I got him

6 months later at a local show

He was unfortunately PTS due to advanced navicular, makes me upset to think about him still but please try not to loose faith. It can be a mutually beneficial arrangement!

 

[SpottyTB]

AShetlandBitMeOnce - Wowee, wasn't he gorgeous!! So sorry you lost him. Thanks for your response, i think i'll try again but will only allow them to loan from my grans field - unless i know them/have mutual friends.. won't be doing anything for a minute though, i think she's going to have 6months to a year off... and by then my situation at my yard may be different and i could have her back with me to compete again!

 

[JJS]

What a horrible experience for you and your spotty, but as AShetlandBitMeOnce said, there are lots of lovely loaners out there, so don't lose hope. My first horse began as a loan, and was then gifted to me and cherished to the end of her days. My old gelding is also officially a loan, though he's now been with me for six years and will hopefully live out his life here. Despite now being retired and on daily medication, he is every bit as cherished as the three I do own, and means just as much to me as if he were mine on paper. Someone wonderful will come along for your girl too, I'm sure, and love her just as well as I've loved my loan ponies.

 

[Dave's Mam]

Glad she is home with you.

 

[honetpot]

I have loaned my children's ponies out several times, including a 14.2 schoolmaster who as an old pony was worth a fair amount of money and to be honest the majority do not spend the time or the money on them that they should.

I do not understand it. They get a good animal with no problems, full tack and rugs and they still can not buy the extra bag or feed, bale of hay or shoe them properly. Its a bit like a rented flat, no one wants to fix the dripping tap before it overflows and floods downstairs.
I have no understanding of this phenoninum, so please someone explain. And this is even with a written contract.

When I was a child I was lucky I rode other peoples ponies, I spent what little pocket money I had on them, cleaned tack and did anything to have the chance to look after and ride a pony. Now adults do not care, I get filthy tack back, ponies that have no seen a farrier for months. They are not even ashamed, no apology.
I have now decided I would rather leave them in the field than loan them out.

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

I have loaned my children's ponies out several times, including a 14.2 schoolmaster who as an old pony was worth a fair amount of money and to be honest the majority do not spend the time or the money on them that they should.

I do not understand it. They get a good animal with no problems, full tack and rugs and they still can not buy the extra bag or feed, bale of hay or shoe them properly. Its a bit like a rented flat, no one wants to fix the dripping tap before it overflows and floods downstairs.
I have no understanding of this phenoninum, so please someone explain. And this is even with a written contract.

When I was a child I was lucky I rode other peoples ponies, I spent what little pocket money I had on them, cleaned tack and did anything to have the chance to look after and ride a pony. Now adults do not care, I get filthy tack back, ponies that have no seen a farrier for months. They are not even ashamed, no apology.
I have now decided I would rather leave them in the field than loan them out.

This, unfortunately.

Your loaner doesn't sound as though she didn't notice OP, but as though she doesn't care, and once you weren't keeping an eye on her daily the standards slipped :mad3: . I'm not surprised you're cross.

 

[rascal]

There are good loan homes, our pony was loved and looked after for his last few years, in a great home, our Shetland also has a really good home.
But our other pony has been neglected twice, this is why we bought her back. In her first loan home, they let her get really fat, so we found her a new home. It was great for several years, but she came back, with bald patches and according to our farrier, had not had a trim for at least 8 months. She is not going anywhere else. If there came a time when we could not keep her, she would either be pts or we would ask a reputable sanctuary to take her, she is only 12.2 but not really suitable for a child, we would never sell her.
There are good homes, hope you have better luck next time.

 

[OldieButGoodie]

I loaned a pony for a year - during which he was kept at home with my other horse. He turned up nervous, underweight with half a mane, a staring coat, mud rash, overgrown feet, windgalls and a sore back. He left a year later, after chiro, new saddle, regular schooling, proper feeding, haylage when I realised he wasn't eating hay, with a gleaming coat, full mane, proper top line and properly trimmed feet. Sadly he left to go back to the yard which (apparently) had got him into that state in the first place. He was then put into working livery (bearing in mind this pony was the most unsuitable animal for a riding school due to his spookiness and abject terror of poles) and subsequently sold onto a little girl. I dread to think what state he is in now.

I think I might be slightly unusual in that I'm a mature adult with my own stables. But even if I was younger on a livery yard I'd still make sure the pony/horse was cared for properly - I would simply treat him as if he was mine.

 

[scats]

What a nightmare, glad the horse is back with you. I can't see any of the pictures, but sounds like the horse was in a bad way.

 

[meleeka]

Before and after photos are awful, no wonder you feel down about it. X

 

[SpottyTB]

Thanks everyone for your replies, I actually think I am getting crosser and crosser about it - Didnt think that was possible.. I keep remembering things said that were just ridiculous. She was going to hunt her in this state!!!

She’s loving it up at my grans, completely chilled out with plenty of grass and forage available so hopefully she will perk up now. Will keep you all updated as to how she’s getting on... really hope loaner just drops stuff off quietly into my trailer and I don’t have to see her because I’m not sure I will be able to bite my tongue! I can’t believe I was actually worried about upsetting the girl!

Oh and all of my brand new weatherbeeta and fal pro rugs have been ripped apparently ... I am yet to get these back, not worried, I know her and Her family and where she lives but I’m dreading seeing my poor rugs ☹️

 

[DD]

glad the spotty is back with you. my experience of loaning is a similar one to yours. everything seemed great then a huge let down and poor horse suffering. i'll never loan again no matter how good they seem. people just donrt care especially if they don't own the animal.

 

[Dancing_Diva]

Your poor girly

Don’t feel bad at all about taking her back, you needed to do what was right for your horse.

A good few years ago I loaned out a mare I owned, 8yr old TB x WB. She’d only been with the loaners about four months when I popped down when she had a vaccination to find my mare looking totally dull and ribs/spine starting to become very visible. I too the horse back a few days later! They cut my rugs to peace’s upon my collection of the horse and kept other items!!
When she went out on loan she was a good weight, and 100% health wise as she was vet checked/chiro checked by me before I let her go.

On the other end of the scale I loaned my new forest to what I thought was a friend for her daughter. Pony ended up so obese that I had to remove her the same day on vets advice! And that was middle of winter!

I now have two ponies out on loan and couldn’t be happier where they are, and how their looked after. I know bad experiences can seriously put you off but I wouldn’t let it put me off loaning again as there’s some very good people out there, it’s just a case of finding them and any severe drop of condition/doupts I think you need to remove the horse straight away rather then give second chances if there’s no veterinary reason for said weight loss!

Hopefully your mare is back to the horse you know in no time with some good food and care x

 

[MuddyTB]

Glad you have her back and she's being well cared for again. Can only imagine how upsetting it was to see her in such a state.

In answer to your original question, yes there are good people out there. She looks like an amazing horse, I for one would love the opportunity to ride something like her, (shame you're in Cornwall!) But I suspect there are many good people around who like me can't do much on their own horses, (ex-racer with hock arthritis so just a happy hacker), but would love the option of a part loan at least to do some schooling and jumping. I'm sure someone will turn up, but agree keep her where you can see her all the time.

 

[SpottyTB]

Where do I find these people though lol! Not that it’s an issue for now anyway!
Y
Another thought, is it possible for a horse to not settle with anyone other than it’s original owners? I bought her at 3 and was her first real one to one owner.. we did loads together and had so much fun... said loaner told me that gem was always miserasble and grumpy around her... well on Monday I couldn’t get away from her, she was all over me like a rash... wanting constant fuss!! She is 11 now