Mongoose11
Well-Known Member
Having a crap time at the minute. To try and give some context to my thoughts...
Feel like I can only focus on a few things in my life at once
Really busy job with long hours in the week and some weekend work
Really need to push on with weight loss before fertility doctor discharges me
Feel like I haven't got time for everything
Dont want to do anything unless it is perfect so sometimes I don't even try
So, I feel like I should be focussing all of my time and energy on trying to get myself into a position where I can have fertility treatment, but I'm not doing it. Even though it is what I want. Why? Surely, at 33 and with four years of infertility behind me I should be making it an absolute priority? It's like I can only really push myself in one or two areas at a time, anything more and I go into melt down and give up on everything (this week has been a perfect example of that).
I don't know what the answer is here, but I am back to feeling like I should do something with Olive. Another sharer perhaps. She dominates my time and my thinking and I think I need other things to come to the fore, I leave for work at 6.45am and I usually get to the yard at about 6pm, by the time I then get home I have work to prep and it's a quick dog walk, cook tea and go to bed. I already have a sharer who does 2 day in the week.
Perhaps I'm kidding myself that I'm too busy and I'm just lazy? I just feel like it's the brain space I need to find not necessarily physical energy...
Something HAS to give, but I don't know how or what.
Anybody? I am sorry for the themed posts from me of late, but I do feel at a bit of a crisis point...
Feel like I can only focus on a few things in my life at once
Really busy job with long hours in the week and some weekend work
Really need to push on with weight loss before fertility doctor discharges me
Feel like I haven't got time for everything
Dont want to do anything unless it is perfect so sometimes I don't even try
So, I feel like I should be focussing all of my time and energy on trying to get myself into a position where I can have fertility treatment, but I'm not doing it. Even though it is what I want. Why? Surely, at 33 and with four years of infertility behind me I should be making it an absolute priority? It's like I can only really push myself in one or two areas at a time, anything more and I go into melt down and give up on everything (this week has been a perfect example of that).
I don't know what the answer is here, but I am back to feeling like I should do something with Olive. Another sharer perhaps. She dominates my time and my thinking and I think I need other things to come to the fore, I leave for work at 6.45am and I usually get to the yard at about 6pm, by the time I then get home I have work to prep and it's a quick dog walk, cook tea and go to bed. I already have a sharer who does 2 day in the week.
Perhaps I'm kidding myself that I'm too busy and I'm just lazy? I just feel like it's the brain space I need to find not necessarily physical energy...
Something HAS to give, but I don't know how or what.
Anybody? I am sorry for the themed posts from me of late, but I do feel at a bit of a crisis point...
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