Feeling deflated

[Gypley]

Feeling rather deflated after yesterdays planned ride was a non starter.

Short back story, horse ended up having about 3yrs off work. I had a baby and ended up moving him to a yard where I was unable to bring him back in to work with baby in tow. Although I was desperate to ride, life got in the way.
I then became pregnant again and decided that I would need help if I was to ever get him going again so I sent him to a lovely lady to slowly bring him back in to work while I was pregnant, with the plan being he would be ready to go once baby arrived.

Baby came and I moved horse closer to home about 6 weeks ago. Since having so long off my confidence is shot. Ridiculously, if weather conditions are right, I’ll happily get on on my own and WTC around like I’d never had time out the saddle. So I know I can still do it!

I’m having weekly lessons and really enjoying them and also having him schooled weekly too.

This week I bought a new dressage saddle - the first I’ve ever owner.
Went straight to the tack shop after and bought a new girth and saddlecloth to go with it and was really excited about going up the next day to ride in my new saddle.

Turns out horse had other ideas. I (as I always do at the moment for my confidence) walked him round the school in hand on both reins before getting on but he was an absolute cockwomble. Spooking at everything and nothing and gave me absolutely no desire to get on.

I quickly realised that this was the first time since moving to this yard that I’d ridden (or attempted to ride!) of an evening when all the horses were in and he couldn’t see any of his friends. I’ve been on a yard previously where he was unable to see his friends from the arena of an evening and it wasn’t a problem. I’m going to book a lesson for one evening to tackle this with my instructor but I just feel so deflated and rubbish.

All I want is to get on and enjoy my horse like I used to, but my stupid brain is ruining it for me, and when he acts like he did yesterday, it’s difficult to see a point where I’ll ever feel as confident as I used to and I can’t help but feel cross with him for not helping me out.

Has anyone felt the same after time off and managed to get back to the place you were at before your break?

 

[Barton Bounty]

Its very natural to feel like that after a baby. I had a couple of years off before children and after my second and last, I was offered a horse, baby was 6 weeks old I had just had a section as well so was feeling very apprehensive. Husband was fearing the worst if I fell off and my inside fell out after the first week, It was just natural again. Be consistent in your workload just now, to work him back in, I would stick to the same things for a few weeks to build your confidence. You will get there though. Do not tell yourself you cannot do it… because you can

 

[PinkvSantaboots]

I find when your confidence goes you have scale everything back don't expect to do things at the stage you were before, even if you get on walk about for 5 minutes and get off set your self small doable goals and don't put pressure on yourself.

Have a look at Karl Greenwood confidence page on Facebook it's brilliant he posts really helpful things on how to tackle things, I did a course at his yard and it really helped me.

 

[Gypley]

I find when your confidence goes you have scale everything back don't expect to do things at the stage you were before, even if you get on walk about for 5 minutes and get off set your self small doable goals and don't put pressure on yourself.

Have a look at Karl Greenwood confidence page on Facebook it's brilliant he posts really helpful things on how to tackle things, I did a course at his yard and it really helped me.

Thank you, I’ll take a look. I have thought about doing some sort of confidence course. Jason Webb is close to me and I think he runs something like that too

 

[Gypley]

Its very natural to feel like that after a baby. I had a couple of years off before children and after my second and last, I was offered a horse, baby was 6 weeks old I had just had a section as well so was feeling very apprehensive. Husband was fearing the worst if I fell off and my inside fell out after the first week, It was just natural again. Be consistent in your workload just now, to work him back in, I would stick to the same things for a few weeks to build your confidence. You will get there though. Do not tell yourself you cannot do it… because you can

Thank you. I know it will come back in time, I’m just being impatient. I want to have fun NOW

 

[Barton Bounty]

Thank you. I know it will come back in time, I’m just being impatient. I want to have fun NOW

Tell yourself you have done it before NO problem, and take a deep breath and get on

 

[Landcruiser]

Could it have been the new saddle??

 

[Poppy+MrDarcy]

I too had about 5 years off riding while I had my two children, and I found it very difficult to get back into riding. My advice is to take it slow, like very slow, even if you just lunge or long line, even if it doesn't profit the horse, it will profit you, as you'll have a somewhat piece of mind before getting on x

 

[Poppy+MrDarcy]

Maybe ride on the old saddle (if there wasn't any problems with it) just for the first few rides

 

[Peglo]

I know you’re upset with yourself for not getting on but if he was unsettled because everyone was in then your walk around in hand was a good confidence building session for him without any pressure. I also think there’s a lot of chat of “oh my horse knew I needed him and he saved me” “he did this because he knew that’s what I needed” but that’s not even how humans work in real life often so don’t expect it from an animal.

I don’t have children so I can’t comment on that but even without that new enormous responsibility, a lot of people realise they have lost confidence after time off. Don’t put pressure on yourself and do things you enjoy doing with your horse that makes you both feel good.

 

[Gypley]

Could it have been the new saddle??

I did wonder. Old saddle was not a good fit so I can’t go back to that for the time being. I did think if old saddle made him sore but he was “used to it” new saddle could now be pushing on areas that are uncomfortable. I booked a physio appointment last night for him to check.

 

[Gypley]

Maybe ride on the old saddle (if there wasn't any problems with it) just for the first few rides

It was a bad fit so not an option. It’s my comfort blanket though as I could jam my leg forward. Knee blocks on new saddle don’t allow for that

 

[VRIN]

Totally agree about Karl Greenwood. He has a facebook page 'Enjoy your horse' - its is a subscription of £4.99 but I have found it really good for gaining confidence, There are also a couple of videos online which are free to view which are worth a look.

 

[black and brown]

Maybe a silly question but did you ride during the saddle fitting for your new dressage saddle, I know some fitters don't seem to ask for a ridden analysis? If you did ride, then maybe the saddle can be discounted as an issue. Try not to be too hard on yourself, the weather at the moment hasn't inspired me to do anything and others on my yard haven't ridden due to the wind/rain and on edge horses.

 

[Gypley]

Maybe a silly question but did you ride during the saddle fitting for your new dressage saddle, I know some fitters don't seem to ask for a ridden analysis? If you did ride, then maybe the saddle can be discounted as an issue. Try not to be too hard on yourself, the weather at the moment hasn't inspired me to do anything and others on my yard haven't ridden due to the wind/rain and on edge horses.

Yes, both me and my instructor rode in it. I lunged him in it tonight and he was fine, so I’m pretty confident now the silly behaviour was down to being away from his mates
Yes, this weathers certainly not helping things! I’m almost looking forward to it being roasting hot so he’s too sluggish to be daft

 

[Gypley]

Thank you all for your replies. I think for now I’m going to park riding in the big school on my own when horses are in. I’ll stick to the 20x40 that’s overlooked by a few horses until my confidence is at a point where we can tackle this daft separation anxiety that he’s managed to develop one thing at a time aye!

Any magic confidence pills or potion recommendations would be highly appreciated though

 

[quiteniceforacob]

Thank you all for your replies. I think for now I’m going to park riding in the big school on my own when horses are in. I’ll stick to the 20x40 that’s overlooked by a few horses until my confidence is at a point where we can tackle this daft separation anxiety that he’s managed to develop one thing at a time aye!

Any magic confidence pills or potion recommendations would be highly appreciated though

Gin?

 

[Cloball]

My new pony was an absolute banana our first lesson after being an angel for a month plunging about and bucking I ended up just getting off. Perfect storm of snow and less turn out plus her friends going in. We've been working on ground work and reducing anxiety in the school and her last lesson was fab! Different pony. My confidence is a bit rubbish after a break and trying horses to buy. I do wonder if I was a bit mad to buy a pony at all. So I understand a bit. Do you have someone on the ground to help at all. I find it much easier with a calming person on the ground to talk to me
Set yourselves up to succeed and build things up confidence wise for both of you.