Feeling demotivated after lesson

[nato]

Anyone else feel like this?

Expectation: "Yeah, we've been putting loads of work in, can't wait to show off to the instructor!".
Reality: What I thought was "doing well" actually wasn't, and we worked our little butts off in the lesson to a major improvement by the end.

But I couldn't help but feel a little demotivated as what I thought was going so well actually wasn't, and feel like a bit of a crap rider now, despite the improvement!

 

[cobgoblin]

Sounds like quite a good lesson really. Imagine what you would have felt like if there was no improvement by the end.

 

[nato]

True - definitely feeling positive about how well she went by the end! Was just feeling bad as I'd worked SO hard the last few weeks and thought I was on the right track, but this evening we had to essentially start at the bottom again.

Glad to have something to work on though!

 

[Geek]

What about having a couple of extra lessons so that it's not a couple of weeks before the next lesson? Sometimes it can be hard to remember the lesson over time and so you end up not achieving what you're aiming for even though you're really trying, especially if i's a new concept/ instructor.

 

[nato]

What about having a couple of extra lessons so that it's not a couple of weeks before the next lesson? Sometimes it can be hard to remember the lesson over time and so you end up not achieving what you're aiming for even though you're really trying, especially if i's a new concept/ instructor.

I usually have them once a week or every fortnight at least, unfortunately my mare has been headshaking all summer and we only just got a handle on it now! So I guess I was probably expecting more from her than I should have been too. She's not been working much all summer as a result of the headshaking and so is quite tight in herself, preventing her from working through correctly. I guess I'm just having a bit of a pointless blubber and rant really

 

[Bernster]

I know. We riders seem to be so critical of ourselves. I'm terrible for focussing on what's not right rather than the good points. At least you did get improvement over the lesson. If you feel you were practising the wrong stuff in the interim, maybe ask your instructor for some tips on that, or work on getting a better feel on the horse in your lessons, to help when you're on your own. I always ride so much better in a lesson, but that's why we pay for em eh? And I wonder whether it was really all that bad, or you're just being hard on yourself?

Another thought, how about videoing your schooling sessions?

 

[nato]

I know. We riders seem to be so critical of ourselves. I'm terrible for focussing on what's not right rather than the good points. At least you did get improvement over the lesson. If you feel you were practising the wrong stuff in the interim, maybe ask your instructor for some tips on that, or work on getting a better feel on the horse in your lessons, to help when you're on your own. I always ride so much better in a lesson, but that's why we pay for em eh? And I wonder whether it was really all that bad, or you're just being hard on yourself?

Another thought, how about videoing your schooling sessions?

I am definitely being hard on myself. My coach was a bit hard on us too, in particular my horse - haven't seen them in a while and they were quite critical of how my horse has been going, but with her headshaking it's been hard to make any real progress

That's a good idea to record my schooling sessions - I also think next week I will box her up and go to the beach to let her have a burn and just have some fun

 

[Cortez]

True - definitely feeling positive about how well she went by the end! Was just feeling bad as I'd worked SO hard the last few weeks and thought I was on the right track, but this evening we had to essentially start at the bottom again.

Glad to have something to work on though!

But surely that's why you have an instructor? To help you know when what you "feel" is right, or wrong? After all, if it was all good you wouldn't need an instructor.

 

[Bernster]

But surely that's why you have an instructor? To help you know when what you "feel" is right, or wrong? After all, if it was all good you wouldn't need an instructor.

Tis true, and that's why we pay profs to help us. I try not to get too hung up with how much better I ride in lessons, or how much better everyone else rides my horse than me, but it doesn't stop me being blue at times if things don't go well. I do find that it's not always a straight line in improvements, as sometimes you'll have better sessions and others not so much, but as long as the general direction is good, that's ok with me.

But OP if you're feeling like it's not quite working, you could maybe try a lesson with another ins just to get a different perspective.

 

[nato]

But surely that's why you have an instructor? To help you know when what you "feel" is right, or wrong? After all, if it was all good you wouldn't need an instructor.

Very true! Think I was hoping that it would be a case that we could start refining or improving what we've done rather than go back to the start again which was what happened. And was probably a bit sensitive as my instructor was a bit harsh about my horse!

But I take your point - we're not having lessons to be told we're great!

 

[wkiwi]

If you want to look at it in a more positive light: maybe the work you did in between did help towards ending up with a good result at the end of the lesson?
I have been helping someone with their horse and did a bit of work to get it going nicely at walk/trot (its history was gangly youngster that had had its head tied down and not taught the aids). The owner had it back for a month or so but for various reasons didn't think she was doing well on it and it wasn't going so well. Owner had health probs so i rode it again this week and despite whatever was going wrong its balance has improved heaps since I last rode it.

So, don't think of your efforts as having been wasted. Yes, someone else may have made faster progress than you but what you were doing probably did help both of you to make progress during the lesson itself and lots of people have lessons without making progress at all and others don't even try to improve!
A burn on the beach sounds fun though

 

[Piaffe123]

I won't repeat what the others have said, but if you've been left feeling deflated like this then is your instructor right for you? The right instructor shouldn't leave you feeling that way, they're not necessarily a bad instructor just maybe not right for you and your horse.

 

[nato]

Thanks wkiwi - that's a great way to look at it. I've been working hard on long and low the last few weeks which she has struggled with in the past so it set us up for the exercises we worked on last night. I like that outlook

Piaffe123 - this is exactly what I would say reading this thread too I have worked with my instructor for a number of years and this was out of character and the first time I've ever felt like this after a lesson, so I thought it might have been an off day. I haven't worked with them in over 6months however due to one thing and another, so maybe it was a bit of annoyance on their part that I haven't been giving them my custom for a while. I plan to try once more and if I run into the same issue I may look elsewhere.