Feeling down - confidence issues and to sell or not to sell? :(

ShadowFlame

ShadowFlame

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Bit of a rant, and this might be long so I apologise - I would appreciate some opinions though. I bought my 4 year old cob unbroken 9 months ago. He's the first youngster I've broken myself (having helped friends out with their youngsters), and I bought him as a blank canvas. I got him used to tack, riding out, and we were doing really well. Hacking alone and in company, roadwork, bridleways, open fields, heavy traffic, walk, trot, canter, opening and closing gates, backing up, all light and responsive and we were doing really well. We had a couple of blips along the way, but nothing major and we got past them without a problem.

Now in May, we had an incident out on the roads while hacking alone. It was just one of those things, he'd done brilliantly the whole way round (half hour hack, nothing major), gone past lorries, skip trucks, and was an absolute star. We did a bit of trotting on the way home, he was busy looking around and he got a little too close to a drain on the road. He spooked out, but there was another drain the other side of the road. He spooked back, spooked again at the original drain, had a bit of a fit, threw in a big buck and took off. I ended up on the road, skinned arm, shredded trousers, what turned out to be damaged ligaments in my knee, and a fair bit of blood. Thankfully we weren't too far from the yard, and pone only went as far as his field, which you can see from the road. I collected pone and went back to the yard. I couldn't get back on because of the pain in my knee - big mistake.

I had a few weeks off riding due to injuries, and pone wasn't ridden in the meantime. Another big mistake. It came to getting back on, I took him round the same block but this time with a schoolmaster in the lead. He was spooky the whole way round, bunny hopping and surging forward when there was nothing there. It came to the home stretch where the incident happened, and he took off again. This time for no real reason, he overtook the horse in front and it took 6 or 8 strides of canter to pull him back up. It was around about here that I realised how much it had knocked my own confidence, as I got back to the yard shaking from head to toe.

Since then I've tried riding him myself, and had other more confident people ride him. He seems to pull the same things over and over again: clamping his tail and back end down, his back coming up, and him surging forward for a few strides; spooking out with his legs all over the place; "bouncing" on the spot when there's nothing there (when there genuinely is something to spook at, 9 times out of 10 he's fine); and spooking when he feels his rider either lean forward (e.g. to check girth) or lose a stirrup. I don't know what to do - he's lost confidence, I've lost confidence, and it feels like the trust between us ridden-wise has just disintegrated. I'm having others ride him, and I'm riding a friend's confidence giver to try and improve things, but we just seem to be stuck in a bit of a rut? My hours at work have been cut and I can't afford to send him away for schooling, I'm now debating whether he needs to go on to a more confident home?

Cookies to anyone who's made it this far, any advice would be appreciated. I just don't know what to do :(
 
Maybe put him out to grass livery for a bit, and start from the ground up again once you feel he's had a chance to defrazzle his brain? Not exactly turn him away, but just give both him and you a holiday. Should ease the financial side too. In the meantime, you could work on rebuilding your nerves - maybe ride something older and quieter for a while?

It sounds like you were both doing really well, and it would be a shame to give up too soon. Youngsters are tricky: be patient and give it another while before you decide:)

Also, his spooking when his rider leans forward, could it be that he isn't fully used to the rider shifting their weight like that? Affecting his own balance maybe?
 
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Sorry you're having confidence issues, having been there myself I can empathise.

Is he spooking at the same spot every time even with someone else riding him?
 
It sounds as though your confidence and your horse's has taken a real bashing! Its so hard sometimes. Have you got someone that could walk out with you? Someone that your horse likes and trusts? You would know that there is someone on the ground that will help you if you need it and your pony will know that if there is a monster lurking in the bushes, it will eat the human first. You could start with a small circuit that builds up your faith in each other, then go further and further and then take in the place where you had your accident. It's not a high tech answer, but it worked for us:rolleyes:
 
Poor u, my youngster had me off on the road and it really shook me up, luckily a farmer caught him and helped me straight back on so I didn't have time to think. We just worked through it as I was on my own with no school but if you do have access to a school I would go back to basics, lunge with tack on then lots of ridden work in school and poss leading out or long reining on roads. Also worth checking there are no under lying issues such as back, teeth, saddle fit. May also help giving him a light calmer even if it helps you to think he has had it. Soo easy to say and hard to do but most importantly try to stay relaxed at all times, chat away to him. I hope it all turns out ok, it is worth it in the end.
 
He got a fright, you got a fright; you getting a fright has given him a fright. Give him time, he'll get over it but he'll need you to show him the way. Horses take their confidence from the rider, so you have to be courageous. Perhaps leave the "scary" place alone for a bit and work on other things until he's concentarting on the new work, then take him back to the scene of the crime and ride him through it. Falling off young horses should be avoided when possible!
 
Re-read your first paragraph. You took on a blank canvas and did an amazing job. You can do it again. Go back to basics and start over building up your and his confidence. Enjoy him, he sounds a lovely sort. See it as a blip - we all have them!
 
Arizahn said:
Maybe put him out to grass livery for a bit, and start from the ground up again once you feel he's had a chance to defrazzle his brain? Not exactly turn him away, but just give both him and you a holiday. Should ease the financial side too. In the meantime, you could work on rebuilding your nerves - maybe ride something older and quieter for a while?
Also, his spooking when his rider leans forward, could it be that he isn't fully used to the rider shifting their weight like that? Affecting his own balance maybe?
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He's on grass livery at the moment, but I wasn't sure if turning him away would help or hinder things? He turned 5 a couple of weeks ago, and I just feel he's starting to go to waste? I'm riding a 16yo at the minute and I'm enjoying riding her which I feel is a step forward - a couple of weeks ago I was considering giving up altogether. As for balance, he didn't used to have a problem with it. Maybe you're right, or maybe the feeling of his rider shifting just worries him after that, perhaps he feels they're falling off? I don't know.

Tiffany said:
Is he spooking at the same spot every time even with someone else riding him?
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Regardless of rider, he's giving every drain a wide berth and spooking regularly. He doesn't always spook down that stretch of road (though he does more often than not), but he does always try to rush down it. If we come home the opposite direction, the rushing isn't so bad.

muckingoutmum said:
Have you got someone that could walk out with you?
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I've tried having someone else walk with us and it didn't make an awful lot of difference. He had a small aircraft take off not far from him with no problem at all (we have an airstrip at the back of our yard), yet he couldn't walk past a bush. I'm now trying to do it the other way round and have someone else ride while I'm on the ground. He's a lot better, but he does seem to rely on and look for me a lot. He still spooks a fair bit even then.

meesha said:
We just worked through it as I was on my own with no school but if you do have access to a school I would go back to basics, lunge with tack on then lots of ridden work in school and poss leading out or long reining on roads. Also worth checking there are no under lying issues such as back, teeth, saddle fit.
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We don't have a school, but a friend tried taking him in a small field for schooling this week. He threw her off. His teeth were done in Feb, his saddle was only fitted last month and he was in a HM treeless before that. He doesn't seem to be in any pain. His behaviour is exactly the same when long reined.

Cortez said:
Perhaps leave the "scary" place alone for a bit and work on other things until he's concentarting on the new work, then take him back to the scene of the crime and ride him through it.
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I'd love to be able to leave that place alone, but it's the main road on the way back to the yard which we can't really avoid! The behaviour also extends past that piece of road, he's fairly relaxed when lunged but seems to tense as soon as tack is put on him. I'm going to have his back checked, but I'm not sure if it's just him anticipating work, and not liking it.
 
Would it be safe for you to walk him out in hand a few times, if you're able to walk with your injured knee. He could genuinely be frightened of the drains or he's letting it become a habit.

Only other things I can think of are:

- put a drain cover in school or on yard and keep walking him up to it and passed it or, ride with two other riders with schoolmasters, one in front and one at side.

You've brought him this far so I'm sure you'll regain your confidence in time, don't beat yourself up, just takes things slowly.
 
I would walk him past the drains in hand yourself to try and get his confidence back following another horse and treating each time he does it calmly. Need to be calm yourself and be his leader sounds like he has just had a nasty experience and scared himself. Small bucket of feed on the drain if possible? Basically make good things happen near the drain!
 
I apologise if youve been asked this already (im skim reading as getting ready for work) but have u long reined him past the drains and worked on drains from the ground since the incident? seems like he needs to get over this and turning him away may only make this worse later on x
 
Cortez said:
He got a fright, you got a fright; you getting a fright has given him a fright. Give him time, he'll get over it but he'll need you to show him the way. Horses take their confidence from the rider, so you have to be courageous. Perhaps leave the "scary" place alone for a bit and work on other things until he's concentarting on the new work, then take him back to the scene of the crime and ride him through it. Falling off young horses should be avoided when possible!
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This - but would just work with him in a large arena or paddock at very basic walk and trot, til you get his and your confidence back, then slowly start to reintroduce some more things, like bigger arenas /fields and safe off the road hacking with others (very short to start with)_, your confidence is what you need to work on now and little steps, then build on it will get you there
 
muckingoutmum said:
It sounds as though your confidence and your horse's has taken a real bashing! Its so hard sometimes. Have you got someone that could walk out with you? Someone that your horse likes and trusts? You would know that there is someone on the ground that will help you if you need it and your pony will know that if there is a monster lurking in the bushes, it will eat the human first. You could start with a small circuit that builds up your faith in each other, then go further and further and then take in the place where you had your accident. It's not a high tech answer, but it worked for us:rolleyes:
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What approach are you taking with him when he spooks do you do the good boy good boy there's nothing wrong think or are you firm don't you dare to that.?
Of course it depends on the riders you have and the facilities but if that was my young horse I would work it twice a day seven days a week and keep it on a bare paddock I would forget hacking alone for the forseeable future my experiance you must nip these issues in the bud I would even consider a change of yard as sometimes that's the quickest way to settle them I would use "easy hacks though until he's sorted.
I have a horse at the mo who got a fright t a drain cover it was nothing on the day the next day he was a nightmare I cured I inthe end by making him stand by each one for fifteen minutes it took me hours to get round my ride but he got the message it was unacceptable .
Does he know the shoulder in / leg yield that's the best way to get past something they are looking at into shoulder in head away from the spooky thing good luck with him .
 
I read your description as just one of those things. You understandably fell off when he spooked, he was scared, partly because you fell off & partly because he ran home and the whole things was just a great shame.

I had something very similar happen at a puddle when breaking my current youngster and he still spooks at the spot of road where the puddle was, every single time he goes past it 2 years later. One thing we do know is that they have very long memories.

In your place the first thing I would do is be happy that you have done a good job with him. This is just a glitch and can be overcome.
You need to restore his confidence - both in you and in himself. and that can be done on the ground by rebacking him. Moving around once on board and getting him comfortable again with you shifting your weight etc. Lots of good experiences are needed to counterract the one bad thing. If neccessary stick to schooling for a while till you have really sorted any control issues brought about by greeness. Get someone to give you more lessons in a nice controlled environment. Polework will really help if he is spooking when you move your weight.
Secondly I would start long reining him past the spots where he spooks. He will always probs be tense at that spot but get him to graze there if possible & get him going past the scary spot repeatedly. If you think he will get away from you then, use a controller headcollar or similar, I would also see if a patient horsey friend will come and stand with you on a steady horsey companion.

I am sure you will sort it, definitely don't feel down - could have happened to anyone.
 
I think you need to send to a professional to get this sorted out. If you think about what has happened , your thoughts/tensions/upset is immediately being picked up by him. These things happen with every young horse - somewhere along the line theres an incident . Its how we respond that makes the difference. Its why professionals seem to have nerves of steel!
My only advise would be to lead him off a safe 100% neddy at walk for weeks , so that he and you get past the incident. But if you are tense even doing this , your horse cannot recover and get used to his outside environment. TBH ,backing horses is a difficult task , and best left to the professionals, because this stuff happens , and to reschool/reback/retrain is a long and expensive process.
 
Have you had his back checked recently. Maybe worth getting his teeth looked at again too - Feb is a fair few months ago.

If he is throwing people off, something is wrong. Weather or not its pain related, or confidence related, you need to find out.
 
Is there a local professional you could send him to for a few weeks? I've done that with mine and the difference is amazing. I went and rode her there lots before bringing her home to get my confidence back and now she's home we're really coming on together. Best money I've ever spent because tbh I'm not sure I'd have got there otherwise. My nerves were feeding hers.
 
siennamum said:
I read your description as just one of those things. You understandably fell off when he spooked, he was scared, partly because you fell off & partly because he ran home and the whole things was just a great shame.

I had something very similar happen at a puddle when breaking my current youngster and he still spooks at the spot of road where the puddle was, every single time he goes past it 2 years later. One thing we do know is that they have very long memories.

In your place the first thing I would do is be happy that you have done a good job with him. This is just a glitch and can be overcome.
You need to restore his confidence - both in you and in himself. and that can be done on the ground by rebacking him. Moving around once on board and getting him comfortable again with you shifting your weight etc. Lots of good experiences are needed to counterract the one bad thing. If neccessary stick to schooling for a while till you have really sorted any control issues brought about by greeness. Get someone to give you more lessons in a nice controlled environment. Polework will really help if he is spooking when you move your weight.
Secondly I would start long reining him past the spots where he spooks. He will always probs be tense at that spot but get him to graze there if possible & get him going past the scary spot repeatedly. If you think he will get away from you then, use a controller headcollar or similar, I would also see if a patient horsey friend will come and stand with you on a steady horsey companion.

I am sure you will sort it, definitely don't feel down - could have happened to anyone.
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I would not advise you to long rien a misbehaving horse on a public road unless you are very confident long riening and take two assistants with you.
Thinking about it one way I have helped issues like this is to teach the horse to lead from a horse that is ridden I do this a lot with my young ones it helps because they copy the other horses and don't pick up tension from the rider I would if I had a problem horse have me riding and lead the problem horse and two other ridden helpers until all was settled then one other ridden helper. You need a bridle on the horse for this, and of course you must make sure he understands what going on in the school and about the yard before you go onto the road.
These things happen with young horses you just have to find a way though IMO doing nothing just stores up the issue for the future I might back off a three year old and say go back to lunging riding in the school for a little while but not a five year old.
 
Thanks guys, I appreciate the positive response. The thing that concerns me is that I had someone else ride him yesterday and he threw her off. I took him out long reining today and he's the worst I've known him. We hit a wall and were getting no better or worse for a number of weeks, and suddenly he's gone downhill. He's started napping, spinning and tried to leap a drain earlier - none of which I've ever known him do. The girl who's been riding him has only ridden in the field, she hasn't taken him on the road at all and I'm not sure what's upset him. He was fine going out, but started napping around a third of the way round and spinning out into the road. He was also napping on the way BACK to the yard, and spinning away from home?

The odd thing is that he seems to follow a pattern in that he'll be perfect for the first 20, maybe 30 minutes of work. It's then almost like he hits a switch, and it all goes down the drain (no pun intended... hah). I'm confused. He doesn't seem to dislike work, he doesn't evade, he's happy to go out and he'll behave initially, up to a certain point. I'm looking into moving yards and possibly sending him off or having someone come to him, depending on finances. Horses... who'd have them?!
 
Nicnac said:
Re-read your first paragraph. You took on a blank canvas and did an amazing job. You can do it again. Go back to basics and start over building up your and his confidence. Enjoy him, he sounds a lovely sort. See it as a blip - we all have them!
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Lovely reply.




Regardless of rider, he's giving every drain a wide berth and spooking regularly. He doesn't always spook down that stretch of road (though he does more often than not), but he does always try to rush down it. If we come home the opposite direction, the rushing isn't so bad.

I would start with this - avoid putting him in the worst situation until you feel more confident... Same for when you were saying that he is ok for 20-30 minutes and then starts being naughty - try and keep rides short and ending on a positive note - let you all finish on a high, then in a few weeks build up..


We don't have a school, but a friend tried taking him in a small field for schooling this week. He threw her off. His teeth were done in Feb, his saddle was only fitted last month and he was in a HM treeless before that. He doesn't seem to be in any pain. His behaviour is exactly the same when long reined.

Do you have a lot of grass after this rain? Could it be partly excess energy?


I'd love to be able to leave that place alone, but it's the main road on the way back to the yard which we can't really avoid! The behaviour also extends past that piece of road, he's fairly relaxed when lunged but seems to tense as soon as tack is put on him. I'm going to have his back checked, but I'm not sure if it's just him anticipating work, and not liking it.[/QUOTE]

I initially wondered if he was just using it as an avoidance...?

Ideally you sound like you could do with being at a yard where there is a school, or at the least quiet hacking for when you set off..

Could you find a local instructor to give you the odd lesson? I know that you said money is tight, and understand, but it would be a great help if you could. Even if you had the first lesson on the older horse..

Finally, if money is too tight to have lessons/help, I would think about turning him away until next year - it won't do him any harm, much less than nervously attempting to solve it yourself...

Good luck.x
 
Hi I'm sorry to hear of your plight, I too have a youngster but having had her most of her life I can read whether she is scared or just taking the mick?? Firstly I would take the pressure of you both, remember why you bought her and start from the ground. Plenty of grooming, playing, groundwork ie: moving feet, leading forward and moving back, through poles over different items inc false drains. Make sure shes listening to you, be firm but fair and insist she does as you ask. Once you are happy and confident doing that (and it might take months) move on to walking out in hand, short distances first then build up gradually, walk out with a trusted companion and so on....... These thing wont happen overnight but if you are willing to put in the time they can be resolved. I look back now and most things I've had problems with are sorted, they just needed time, patience and understanding. I wish you the best of luck xx:D
 
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