Feeling down, don't no what to do!

Natz88

Natz88

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Just wanted some horsey people to talk to, so I hope you don't mind me posting. Basically me & mum have 4 horses, 1 of which is out on loan. Anyway I got my hafligner who I have had just over 6yrs & mum has her cob who she has had nearly 5yrs. Well couple of years ago I decided I wanted to get back into competing, so decide to go on the look for another horse who I could compete, but due to falling pregnant that was put on hold until last year, when I got my 4yr old to bring on etc.

Well since losing my job, having baby etc my mum has been paying for the boys & I pay a bit when I can, we also have a sharer that contributes, so the dilema is my mums work has relocated the total opposite direction to the where the boys are, the price of everything is going up & petrol prices are going through the roof & she is starting to struggle with the cost of everything, she has got herself so down she is making herself ill. We have both put an ad for another sharer or would consider loan, but neither of us have had anything apart from people wanting a free ride. So I have told my mum I will sell one of my boys & she keeps telling me off for considering it, but I feel so guilty. She knows it will kill me to sell Chuckie (hafligner) & she keeps telling me if I sell Murphy I won't be able to compete, which is want I really want to get back out doing. The problem is my hafligner is not easy he isn't good in heavy traffic, he is known to bolt & rear (be it he has got loads better) the people I bought him of got him from a market & previous to that been from dealer to dealer & I have come so far with him he has so much trust in me it scares me that he may get passed on, as he can be a difficult ride.

Mum has suggested moving back to a yard that we was at for 10yrs that is on my way to my mums work, but problem is the riding isn't great, but the facilities are good & there is lots of fields you can ride around. The grazing is awful & not allowed shavings only hemp or straw.

Sorry for the long boring post, but when I speak to my OH he just isn't interested & I just wanted someone to talk to :confused:
 
Oh, you do sound down poor thing. Horses are very expensive beasties and if you are struggling at the minute perhaps something has to give? How are you planning to fund a competition horse? Perhaps he is the one that should move on until you are in a position to afford everything.
 
Poor you :( It does sound like moving to the other yard might be a good idea, it might even be easier to find a sharer for your haffie if they're kept somewhere where you don't have to do roadwork? Even if it's not the best long term solution it might do until you are back on your feet?
 
I remember a thread on here quite a while ago where everyone put forward their ideas on cutting costs, both horse related and generally life related. May be worth trying to find that, as if you could cut your costs right back that might give you more time to sort the problem out?

How actively are you advertising for sharers and loaners? I'd put adverts everywhere that is free like Preloved etc and put ads up in all local tack shops, speak to Pony/Riding clubs in the area to see if they have any members looking for a mount. We have a friend that loaned her pony out for a week so the child could attend Pony Club and were paid (I believe) £100!

This is all the ideas that spring to mind, good luck with whatever you decide, it can't be an easy situation.
 
I only do low level competing, it's just nice to be able to go to local shows & as he is only rising 5 I won't be doing loads anyway this year due to his age etc. I have been out of the competing world for about 5yrs & just dying to get out again. We are going to go have a look round the other yard & see what happens, we just so settled where we are.

We have put ads like you say on sites such as preloved, equine adverts etc. someone suggested loaning my 4yr old out, but I would worry me he would get ruined then come back to me.
 
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I would definitely move back to the old yard and continue to advertise for sharers/loaners to help with the cost of things. I'd also consider putting adverts up in your local riding schools. I remember when I didn't have a horse of my own, I was desperate to find a horse share - but because I never had the need to go to saddlers/feed merchants I never saw them advertised. Then as soon as I bought one - I saw them advertised everywhere!!
 
could you sell your 5 year old and then try and find another horse to share and compete on? Would hopefully be cheaper than having your own, and you could keep your other horse too.
 
It's hard when your OH isn't interested.

If your mum is wiling to change yards and it's going to make life easier and cheaper then I think you are going to have to compromise. Having horses does seem to be getting more and more expensive, but it would be a shame to part with your haffie after you have come so far with him. He would be difficult to sell with the problems he has.

If this yard has good facilities, then it will help you get the best out of your youngster but, to be brutally honest, if you are struggling with the expense now, how will you be able to afford to compete in the future? Perhaps it would be sensible to part with your youngster and try again in a couple of years when the money situation has improved.

Just reading this back, I haven't really been much help, perhaps a cyber hug would help.
 
Tammytoo said:
It's hard when your OH isn't interested.

If your mum is wiling to change yards and it's going to make life easier and cheaper then I think you are going to have to compromise. Having horses does seem to be getting more and more expensive, but it would be a shame to part with your haffie after you have come so far with him. He would be difficult to sell with the problems he has.

If this yard has good facilities, then it will help you get the best out of your youngster but, to be brutally honest, if you are struggling with the expense now, how will you be able to afford to compete in the future? Perhaps it would be sensible to part with your youngster and try again in a couple of years when the money situation has improved.

Just reading this back, I haven't really been much help, perhaps a cyber hug would help.
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I can afford to compete where I am currently as there is a few places that is in hacking distance that hold shows so no fuel cost there, plus he not doing loads due to age & I have friends who have said I can hitch a ride with them to places. It's difficult as when I mention to mum about parting with him, I get the don't be stupid your not selling him. It's not that we can't afford them it's just been one extremley expensive winter, which has jst got on stop of my mum.

Thanks for the cyber hug :p
 
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