Feeling down. Sorry.

*hugs*
I don't think you should try to forget her - and I don't think that's what other people mean. But I would say that you can't do anything for her now, so now you have to focus on something else. There isn't anything wrong with that at all, and Lucy wouldn't want you to just stand still surely? If Lucy had refused to move on from her past, then you wouldn't both have had such a wonderful time together. Life is about moving forwards :)

I'm sure they would be happy to let you keep the trophy if you could offer to replace it, or contribute in some other way? (:
 
Sorry you are feeling so down Laura, but it isn't surprising on the month anniversary.

Your new video is lovely, some great pics and videos in there. Lovely memories of your long time together. There is no way you should try to forget Lucy.

I was really pleased to see your othe rpost about Herbie's show outing - what a successful day and not only for winning ribbons. I think a trophy in Lucy's memory is a fabtastic idea, especially the idea of making it for someone who hasn't necessarily 'won' a class. If I think of a way to do it I'll let you know...

Rather than keep putting it off, maybe you could think about going to the vets and getting Lucy's things? Then you will have done it and won't have to think about it any more - you don't have to look at them, just fetch them hom; or ask someone else to get them for you?

I think you are coping brilliantly. Keep posting, we all think about you by the sound of it! xx.
 
I know how you feel ... its been nearly 7 months since Bracken was pts i miss him so much sometimes i just collapse with the pain and cry, i cant talk about it yet it hurts to much ... i am just trying to remember the good times and why i couldnt ask him to stay .. RIP i love you <3

you will get through it i think it just takes longer than expected .. big big hugs xxx
 
If Lucy had refused to move on from her past, then you wouldn't both have had such a wonderful time together.
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Thankyou sol thats very true i never thought about it like that.

Thankyou Ommadawn I don't think i'll ever forget Lucy even if i wanted to and i was very proud Herbie because he was so well behaved the placings where the icing on the cake but realy don't matter that much.

mollichop thats the hardest thing. She was always there when i needed a cuddle or a cry and no i need her more than ever and she's not here :( Atleast Herbie is getting better at cuddles but he's just not Lucy.
 
oh BeckyX :(:( i'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you mean about just collapsing with the pain and crying. I just hurt all the time. If you ever need to talk to someone i'm only a PM away anytime you just need to let it all out.

RIP Bracken. I hope you and Lucy are running free and out of pain. xxx
 
god i never cry , but watching that i cried like a baby !!! you can see she was special to you and you was to her . and as time goes on , and try and talk about her life will get easier , it doesnt mean you will forget , it just means just maybe you can carry on in life without feeling sad all the time ,and you can talk about her and the most iccreable times youve had together .
she would want you to be happy , i bet shes looking down on you while she is sunnying her self on the beach
she may be gone by she will never be forgotten , i do hope it gets easyier for you
 
Herbie will never be Lucy but in time he will come to mean as much to you as Lucy does. I lost Ebony (who was my Lucy, the pony of a lifetime) on April 5th 2005. This year was the first year that it passed me by and it wasn't until my birthday on the 8th that it occured to me that I had missed it. I still have the odd teary moment about him now.

I got Archie 3 months after Eb died and for years I kept thinking that as much as I loved him he wasn't Ebony. It was only last year when I thought I might lose him as well that I realised that he will never be Ebony but that doesn't mean that I love him any less. He means as much to me in different ways. I don't trust him in the same way as I trusted Eb but he's much better at cuddles and 'needs' me more than Eb ever did.
 
I hope you feel better soon. I know how you feel as we lost one of our horses two weeks ago. The video is lovely and it looks like you and Lucy had lots of fun together. I'm sure she had a fantastic life with you. x
 
Watching your video made me cry too, but i did have to smile when she did her tricks, what a clever pony:D How about donating a trophy for best trick? I'm sure the children and ponies would love it. xxxhugsxxx
 
bobbydazzler great minds think alike. I thought about that earlyer. Then it doesn't mean the prityest pony would win. In order to teach your pony tricks you have to spend time with it not just buy the most expencive you can. You need to bond with them which is the whole point of having ponies to me. :)
 
Lovely video. You have some super images which, I can see, reflect the closeness of your partnership.

I know how you feel. I have been there too. I don't think anyone has the right to tell you when to 'move on'. I don't believe that 'move on' is the right phrase anyway as it says to me that you move on away from the memories of your horse. Just allow yourself to feel how you want to, speak about her if you wish, or keep the memories to yourself for the time being. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

I light a candle for my boy in question and I always say goodnight - He went a yr ago. I am 36 and I have to say when he passed away it was possibly the worst day of my life. I sobbed for 24hrs (not just cried), until no tears would come out any more. I felt so sick.
It is not so painful now.
You do exactly what you feel like doing - The stuff you have put up here probably helps. Take it easy - It's early days yet and you will feel better, even though you will always love her, and will never forget xxxx
 
thankyou mickey I know what you mean I hate the words "move on" or even "get over the loss" there just isn't any words. Everyone i know seems to think i'm dealing with it all wrong and i do think they feel i should just forget about her but non of them have a stong bond with there animals. I have to say the day Lucy went was the worst day of my entire life it felt like someone had ripped my heart out.
I'm so sorry for your loss and am glad it doesn't hurt so much now. I just hope i can get through this and be left with happy memorys instead of all this pain.
 
It sounds to me like you are taking too much notice of what other people around you think? At the end of the day, they are not the one that has lost so much, and you should allow yourself the space and time to deal with things in your own way. I would try not to think in terms of 'I should' or 'I must' (behave in a certain way).

Be yourself, go with your feelings. Grief is a process, and it has different shades. Go with your own emotions. Other people might not like it (perhaps because they are uncomfortable with your focus or seeing you unhappy). Tell them that you need to let go and not restrict your emotions.

You write as much as you like, talk about your girl as much as you like, think about her as much as you like. You are perfectly entitled to.

If others rush you, say that you just need some space and that it is nothing personal.
In time things will feel different, but that does not mean that you will 'move on' from your baby, or forget. You will still hold rich memories and know that she is in a good place.

I wrote down everything I could recall about my boy when he died. I still have all my jottings in a box. I didn't want to forget a thing.

I know you will feel better in your stomach (you know what I mean?) in time.
Take care of yourself and remember what a good life you gave her. Big hugs xxxx
 
Thankyou. I must try to ignore them all. They all should know me well enough to know this was going to hit me hard. I also have loads of other stuff going on in my life which realy doesn't help. I'm the sort of person who needs to let it all out have a good cry, scream or whatever. When i try to hold it in I have panic attacks (and i have had a few lately) I don't let anyone see that though so maybe they just don't understand how keeping it all in affects me. Writing it all down is a lovely idea. I have my long post on here from a few months back about Lucys life but that was only the tip of the iceburge we have been through so much and i don't want to forget any of it.
 
Something someone said to me a few weeks ago that has really stuck in my mind, and helped me through since we lost Benson.


Dont cry because she is over, smile because she happened.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
Oh, Laura, I am so sorry you are so unhappy.

I can't offer any advice but you are not alone. I lost my German Shepherd Dog, Zeus (in my siggy) due to a tumour and it was the most awful time for me too. I have a memory box, including his collar and lead and his bowls and some pictures but best of all I have the memories.

If I think of him too much I cry and get upset. Of course I think about him, probably every day, but I try to control my thoughts. If I find myself getting upset I quickly try to occupy my mind with something else. Its because the pain still hurts, like you are hurting and I just can't bear it.

Every so often I get my box out, smell his collar, close my eyes and its as if he is still here.
 
Archiesmummy said:
Every so often I get my box out, smell his collar, close my eyes and its as if he is still here.
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I'm sorry for your loss.
I was smelling Lucys grooming kit today and on her bib thing there is still some of her winter coat. I stood for ages stroking it. I think i may try to collect it tom and try to stick it to something so i can stroke it forever. It was like (just for a moment) she was back again.

Thankyou benson21 thats a lovely phrase. I hope you are doing ok.
 
Just a thought, Laura, I bought a phial pendant thingy on ebay, silver, with my birthstone (so me and him were joined in some way). My intention was to put some of Zeus's ashes in it but have never wanted to open his casket. I know you didn't have Lucy cremated but what about putting any of her fur or mane/tail in something similar and wearing it around your neck. She will always be close and it may help you to heal.

xxx
 
Thankyou that sounds like a lovely idea. I'd like to think she was always with me. To help me through the tough times just like she always did.
 
Hi Laura
Although you don't have to justify your feelings or behaviour to your friends, it might help just to tell them a little about what you feel you need to do to best cope at this time, and that it is nothing personal, but you just need your own time and space. They might understand a bit better then?
If you have any info about deep breathing/relaxation techniques, these are good as they get you breathing from your stomach and upwards rather than the top of your chest which can be a problem, hence the panic. Also try to check that your muscles aren't clenched. It's surprising how much tension we all hold without realising it!
Do what YOU need to do. I know it is physically gutting but that feeling does subside. You take care. If you need an ear, do mail! xxx
 
Thankyou mickey. I'll try talking to them but i think i just need to ignore them and deal with this in my own way in my own time. If they don't understand that then they obviously arn't my friends.
 
Hi Laura, You are going thro bereavement and that takes time. To know sadness you have to have felt happiness and vice versa. The sadness and pain are worth it, for the good times and happiness you had with Lucy. Its the price you have to pay for the priviledge of having had Lucy. You will never 'get over her' but you will in time get used to life without her and be able to look back at memories and smile. Keep all her things (and sniff them from time to time) until you are ready to pass them on (this may take years and why not!) I still have afew bits and pieces over 20 years on from my pony. I have other horses now which I love also, but S was the special one and always will be. I stopped being sad many years ago of course, and remember him with love and gratitude that I had the pleasure of looking after him till the end.
Forgot to add, I don't give didldly squat what other people think and neither should you.
 
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LauraWheeler said:
Thankyou. I must try to ignore them all. They all should know me well enough to know this was going to hit me hard. I also have loads of other stuff going on in my life which realy doesn't help. I'm the sort of person who needs to let it all out have a good cry, scream or whatever. When i try to hold it in I have panic attacks (and i have had a few lately) I don't let anyone see that though so maybe they just don't understand how keeping it all in affects me. Writing it all down is a lovely idea. I have my long post on here from a few months back about Lucys life but that was only the tip of the iceburge we have been through so much and i don't want to forget any of it.
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I am not the only one... i get awful panic attacks from holding it in :( i think my friends think i am a bit odd :( i have PM'd and i think that Lost is right, i think it will take time for both of us .. i just want to remember the good times, hopefully you can too in the future:)
 
Thankyou lost I do agree the sadness and pain is worth it for the 12 years i had with Lucy. I feel so luck to have owned such a remarkable pony. I'm honoured that she chose to trust me and am thankful for all those happy days she gave me when she was just being her. I wouldn't change a single moment we had together and i would do it all again in a heartbeat if it ment i could touch her one last time.

Thankyou BeckyX remember i'm always just a PM away.
 
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