feeling Great! But advice...

[RoyalSapphire]

i just wanted to post an update on me with my new pony! Scarlet or Scar - lion king has settled in well, straight away infact rode her once we got her home. we had our up and many downs ;/ ive recently lost my first pony Saffy due to cushings & laminitis last november and i miss her . i got scar afterwards as i relised i didnt want to give up horses and missed having a reason to go outside, however!.... Saffy was an arab, Scar is a cob. i didnt want to get a pony anything to do with or that beared any reselmblemence to Saffy as i was worried i would compare them and would end up hating new pony as like saffy but nothing like her and hating myself for even comparing Saff to another horse! so i went for a cob - very different to arab, also from a 20yo to a 6yo. this lead to though a MASSIVE jump. i had no idea, EVERYTHING was different and as arabs have fixed gaits it doesnt matter is ur said pony is only 14.2 its trot, canter, etc are quite long strided. then to scar on the viewing i loved her she was sweet, clearly loved people and made me feel safe, but once home i felt different this was my pony now, my responsibility, what happened if she got lami, like Saff? - she was v fat, still is. my confidence had a nock before saff got ill, but after she died, i had no idea to what extent it had been nocked - ALOT basically. so i then felt really unsafe. i didnt know this pony. this wasnt Saff who i knew every detail, what spooked her what didnt, when she was just hyper & just naughty to when she was actually scared. so now i had a 6yo who i didnt know and i missed Saff ALOT - (still do). so turned out my plan hadnt turned out how i thought, i was comparing Scar to Saff her trot, not picking her feet up, big, bargy, loves people only i was just upsetting myself and scar. because my confidence was nocked scars short strided walk/trot just felt v fast (still does).

anyway im writing this because im quite proud but also have a looonnngggg way to go. we have kept scar (was touch n go for a moment as she was on trial and i came back virtually every time crying) thanks to friend who was determind that it was just because ive went up a horsepower. i am muc more confident with her on the ground and her barging is much better (typical cob stuff) i am still nevous riding as shes young and i didnt relise how much i took for granted with saff and her gaits are soo different walking next to her she feels normal but on her the fast short strides feel waayyy out of control. we still have some distance to go with feet too ( have to lift back ones with a rope unless u want to get kicked and i dont even attempt it as shes so big and strong). but i crossed a milestone with her today. i rode her Bareback (kinda) with saff i rode her bareback after no even having her a week but because of my confidence and scars age ive waited. i got on her a few days ago bareback just while she was eating her hay, i was very nervous but i just got on sat then got off v quickly, then again just to prove that it was ok. then today i got on with headcollar and lead rope and rode her round the field (kinda took 3steps with me steering then got off) she was very well behaved however she is VERY VERY stubborn/moody and walked backward when i asked her to go forward then stopped refused to go then went forward (hurray) then span. i did not feel nervous about this but once i have done bareback once i generally prefer it as u r closer to your horse and for some reason i feel safer, i think its because i can actually feel whats happening underneath me.

so all in all i like having a young pony everything she does right is amazing its like 'i did that!' and when shes not so good i can just put it down to age (not letting her get away with it though). its just so rewarding! i do love it!!

now the advice. anyone have any techniques for confidence (ridden mainly) also mainly to do with hacking as i feel most scared then as i like the secruity of penned in unfortually she doesnt and loves hacking which makes her in turn a bit eager nothing stupid just a bit forward. she finds pennned in boring and will buck, stop, nap beause of it so any help with these issuse would be great too thanks.
Amazed if anyones got this far, cookies for those who have! (sorry for the amount of spelling & punctuation error)

 

[RideSide]

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard to let go of the idea of our loved ones. Secondly congratulations on pushing forward and trying with a new, more challenging guy!

As for the hacking I had an awful fall 2 years ago while out with a friend exercising her horses (naughty nuggets) the horse bolted before a jump and threw me, ended up with internal bleeding and all other nasties. It's taken ages to build up my confidence to canter and jump again but hacking is still hard!

I try to make sure I have a partner (or two) on a very calm horse with me, and keep things at a gentle walk, it's super hard sometimes cause the horses can jump and skip and be general bum faces but walking them in circles and all that might help to get them calm. As a bonus it's how schools teach their hacks to never run home. So it's a foundation for a much safer horse who won't get excited and boot you off when he recognises home in the distance. It also means they learn that if they're fizzy or fast they will get nowhere but if they are listening and quiet they can have their trot or canter out in the grass.

On a psychological level I always remind myself that I am in control and if that control means that I am going to get off and lead for a while then that's fine too. As long as it's not directly after a tantrum so he thinks he's getting rewarded it's a perfectly valid option if you'd feel safer on the ground. I've never had to use it but just thinking you have an exit strategy can help a lot. Also start small. When you're out and freaking that he's going to do something crazy, start with a 10-20 minute hack and extend it out. That way there is a finish line and you're not too far away to dismount or ride home without trouble.

Hope this helps!

 

[RoyalSapphire]

thank you yes it does. im in pony club and there is a rally this half term which everyone is telling me to go to but i feel so nervous about it but they all just shrug it off saying ill be fine, unfortually my brain doesnt work like that but i cant help feeling that theyre right as shes only 6 so it could be a good experiance for her (or a complete disaster!)

 

[RideSide]

after my fall, the same friend told me to compete with said horse in a show jumping comp! As much as I would have liked to compete that year, I decided there is no way I wasn't going to listen to my instincts and decided it may be too dangerous to get back on such a strong, flighty horse in a busy show arena.

Regardless of the situation, if you don't feel comfortable or safe, then it may very well exacerbate the situation. I needed ages to get back up to jumping and cantering and all that. My instructors always told me, never feel bad for a fear. It's healthy and it means you're going to be more aware of your surroundings and not put you and your horse in a dangerous situation!

It might be a good experience for him but I think for your own sake of security, if you would want to try it, putting in some plans might help you feel at ease. Having a back up option if you need to leave early, or having a buddy through the day you can talk to for advice or any help you may need if he starts acting up?