feeling guilty- asking livery to leave.

[alison247]

briefly, we have a livery who pays a peppercorn rent in exchange to help look after our yard whilst we are away from home.
We returned home last week and found no poo picking had been done since the fields had been rolled and the horses (hers and mine) were still grazing in the rolled field instead of the summer field. Basically field looking really sick and tracks of poo around the edges.
I was out when she came up to do horses so she phoned my OH and matter of factually told him two horses would be arriving that evening and would be staying overnight on route to her "friends"yard. He was so taken aback he didnt question it???
That evening a horse box turned up through our closed and locked electric gates.She apparently had given him our security code.
The driver told us he was instructed to put the horses into the stables. He unloaded and left.
The horses stayed two nights and then disappeared before we were even up on day three. They were collected first thing in the morning apparently.
No sign of livery till Monday this week, so we had not seen the livery here for over four days. Although she tells me she had been here when I was out.
Yesterday was the first time we had seen her since last Wed.
When she got here she gave me £50 and said two horses are arriving again in about an hour on route to friends yard and will be here a couple of days.
I asked her again to please poo pick the rolled field and watched her collect around a wheel barrow full, a drop in the ocean.
She then helped her friend unloaded the two horses and left with him, leaving a hired van and trailer on our drive.
This morning one horse was collected by her man "friend" who had our gate number.
The other horse is still in our stable on its own and cant see my horse and her horse as they are out. Poor thing is distressed on its own in a stable on an empty yard.
My husband has told me to tell her she has to the end of the week to collect her horse and the "friends" horse in our stable.
I feel really uncomfortable that we are being unreasonable but this is our home and what has been going on whilst we weren't here?? She didn't know we would be here this week!

 

[FfionWinnie]

Change the gate code and give her set times to attend until evicted 😱

 

[Micropony]

That is outrageous behaviour on so many levels. Why would you even contemplate feeling guilty? What I am struggling to understand a bit is why you haven't pulled her on it much more quickly - is there the slightest chance she might think you don't actually mind?

 

[sarahann1]

She's taking the proverbial, you're not being in anyway unreasonable by asking her to leave!

 

[9tails]

What the hell? Why are you feeling guilty about telling her to leave? She's bloody mad.

 

[Jnhuk]

I cannot understand why you are feeling guilty? The livery has been abusing your trust. Do these horses have passports and up to date with their vaccs? What about biosecurity as round Central Scotland you cannot move yards without a strangles test nowaways

Are your completely sure everything is above board and these horses are not stolen property?

 

[9tails]

Oh hold on, she wasn't expecting you to be there? So thought she'd ship all these strange horses in, giving total strangers your code invalidating your insurance and risking your own horse with untold illnesses while they're in transit to a friend's yard? She wouldn't be having until the end of the week.

 

[Dave's Mam]

Change the gate code. I'd put money on the fact that she is charging for these stopovers!

 

[cobgoblin]

You are being walked over.....and you're feeling guilty??

Change the gate code and kick her arse out tomorrow...no ifs no buts!

Eta.....and give her a hefty bill for the stopovers and lack of care for your security.

 

[Passtheshampoo]

I run a v small yard and I would be livid if that happened. I'd tell her to take her horses to her friends place when they collect the last horse.

 

[alison247]

I think she thinks as we are "nice" people we don't mind, though we came home last week unexpectedly and she had to call OH to say this is happening- never asked if it was ok.
Se is defiantly arrogant about it and hasn't been seen since the first two arrived last week and they disappeared overnight too, only yesterday when she gave me an hours notice that another two were arriving.
My OH thinks it sounds dodgy as why not take the horses straight to "friends" yard instead of bedding them down here for two days?
One went this morning the other is still here own her own. When I questioned her about her being shut in on her own she said " she's fine, she's had a foal its normal"!!!
I feel quilty telling her to leave if she is only doing friend a favour and didn't expect to be caught out by us arriving home early.
Though to be fair she hasn't poo picked although she has been asked to and it was part of her deal to have her horse here very very cheaply.

 

[cobgoblin]

I think you should take a photo of the one that's still there...just in case it's not above board.

 

[Goldenstar]

Your mad she would have been gone after the first strange horses arrived.
It's completely unreasonable to give a stranger a gate code .
It's completely unreasonable to bring strange horses from god knows were onto a private yard .
Ring her tomorrow tell her to get her arse down to your house tell her face to face to get horse and her stuff off your yard by the end of the week .
Then watch your back .
Someone who behave like that is not to be trusted .
Bad luck .

 

[HashRouge]

Agree with everyone else - tell her to get lost, as soon as possible!

 

[Toffee44]

Change gate code now. That way she has to approach you and at least you know for certain if shes coming up!

Has dodgy written all over it.

 

[alison247]

Change gate code now. That way she has to approach you and at least you know for certain if shes coming up!

Has dodgy written all over it.

Unfortunately our gates are a new system run on a sim card so not a question of just changing a code we need to get the sim card changed by the gate installers.
Will can padlock it though

 

[alison247]

Who would like to take bets that we wake up in the morning and her horse and the squatter are gone?

 

[sarahann1]

I feel quilty telling her to leave if she is only doing friend a favour and didn't expect to be caught out by us arriving home early.
Though to be fair she hasn't poo picked although she has been asked to and it was part of her deal to have her horse here very very cheaply.

No, no, no, no, you should not be feeling guilty, consider yourself kicked up the bahookoie! She is taking massive liberties, this is 100% NOT ok. At the very least she should have asked you if this was ok, to not even let you know is sleekit. She's treating your yard as her own, that is well and truly overstepping the mark. She sounds like a master manipulator, get rid, change your code, up your security and install CCTV if you don't already have it.

 

[Toffee44]

If your worried about her reaction to locking her out. Just say its been failing etc so you put a lock on. You thought you had text her but message hadn't delivered.
And then say "while your here.... GET ORF ME LAND"

Good luck OP sorry you have had such a dealing going on with her.

 

[Goldenstar]

I think she thinks as we are "nice" people we don't mind, though we came home last week unexpectedly and she had to call OH to say this is happening- never asked if it was ok.
Se is defiantly arrogant about it and hasn't been seen since the first two arrived last week and they disappeared overnight too, only yesterday when she gave me an hours notice that another two were arriving.
My OH thinks it sounds dodgy as why not take the horses straight to "friends" yard instead of bedding them down here for two days?
One went this morning the other is still here own her own. When I questioned her about her being shut in on her own she said " she's fine, she's had a foal its normal"!!!
I feel quilty telling her to leave if she is only doing friend a favour and didn't expect to be caught out by us arriving home early.
Though to be fair she hasn't poo picked although she has been asked to and it was part of her deal to have her horse here very very cheaply.

Alison Alison don't be a doormat .
She gave you two hours notice another two horses were turning up this is not how normal nice people behave towards people giving them a good deal .
You should have taken control then , get a grip of this before you can't call your yard your own .
Get rid .

 

[Buddy'sMum]

Change the gate code and give her set times to attend until evicted 😱

Yup.

 

[honetpot]

Unfortunately our gates are a new system run on a sim card so not a question of just changing a code we need to get the sim card changed by the gate installers.
Will can padlock it though

I have an electric fence that has a sim card, its in a separate unit within the energiser, looking on the internet they are all pretty much the same. I shouldn't be that difficult to get at but a padlock is quick.

 

[alison247]

I have an electric fence that has a sim card, its in a separate unit within the energiser, looking on the internet they are all pretty much the same. I shouldn't be that difficult to get at but a padlock is quick.

I guess the installers tell you they need to change it to earn a few more pennies!
Thank you, will get this done tomorrow, cant find a padlock tonight though

 

[smellsofhorse]

I really thing she is taking advantage of you.
Even if these horse arnt dodgy.
She isnt pulling her weight and isnt respecting you property.
Give her notice to leave.

 

[millikins]

Do you have an all night garage or Tescos, a decent bicycle lock would do temporarily. Some people are truly, incredibly outrageous, to the point where you sort of become stunned by their behaviour.

 

[Peregrine Falcon]

Sorry am I reading this right? You are feeling guilty about asking a livery to leave who has been taking the pIss?

They need their marching orders pronto. Can you park a vehicle in front of the gates so she can't get in without contacting you so she can be told to leave?

 

[gnubee]

In your position, whilst there appear to be a number of good reasons to get rid, I would be inclined towards a 'sorry, this arrangement isn't what we need right now. This is your notice, please find somewhere else by x date.
Ironically giving your very reasonable reasons is much more likely to result in push back and her resenting your 'unfair' decision, and possibly even persuading you to give her another chance.
You have this deal so you will feel like your horses are looked after and property kept safe whilst you aren't there, and after this I doubt you could feel like that again with this livery in charge.

 

[mytwofriends]

You sound so very very nice and reasonable, but now is the time for you to change persona!

I'd be mighty miffed about her not keeping to her side of the deal with the poo picking and using the wrong field, especially as she's getting cheap livery in exchange.

And then she uses your facilities for all these strange goings on with "friend's horses" and gives your security code out to a complete stranger?

Say what????????

Sorry, that wouldn't sit well with me one jot.

Please, no guilt. Give her marching orders today. Change that code (or get a hefty padlock to go on with) and send her, her horse and her "lodger" packing. She sounds totally untrustworthy.

 

[ycbm]

And while your at it, give her the bill for the change of SIM card (by the way I don't think it's acceptable that your security installers know your code either! Banks don't let their staff know our passwords or pin codes. I would make them teach you how to change it).

 

[sunnyone]

Nobody else has said it: livery is lying to you!
Who has a minimum of 2 friends whose horses need to move but cannot go to new yard directly?
My initial thought is have these horses been stolen? Just purchased and nowhere to go to? On their way to/from auction?
Good luck in finding somebody to replace her.