SatsumaGirl
Well-Known Member
Firstly, I will say outright, I do have too many horses... end of! Now that that's out of the way...
Anyway, one of them is on loan and has been for the past two years. The loaner is absolutely lovely and I couldn't ask for a nicer home. I trust her completely and she has done so much more with him than I have. So far, she has renewed the contract on a year by year basis (as a lot can happen in a year and I don't really want to state in a contract that she has him forever, purely because no one ever knows what the future holds). All that being said, I have also told her that I'm not going to turn round anytime soon and take him off her so she doesn't need to worry. I even said to her in the past that it might come to the point where she can keep him for the rest of his working life or until he needs to slow down to a gentler pace, where he'll ultimately be returned to me for his retirement (depending on my situation, of course).
She knows I have had certain experiences with a couple of horses I've sold in the past i.e. owners not being what they said they were/not giving them the nicest quality of life and me regretting the sale. I've also had a couple of horrible loan experiences (one whilst I was at uni, finding my horse had been loaned to someone else behind my back with comments left on Facebook such as "met X today, deal done, welcome to the family...". On top of that, it took me and my friend a year and a half to track down an old horse of ours, after he was sold on through home after home (about 8 in total over 18 months) and dealer after dealer, no one ever mentioning his issues.
I digress... I have always been honest with the loaner from day one. I love her to bits and she seems a lovely person but I don't want to ever sell my horse- not at the moment, anyway. My opinion may change as I get older but for the moment, that's how I feel, dead certain! It's not that I don't like her or don't trust her but I hate that you lose the security and future of that horse, once money has changed hands. Ok, so nothing is ever set in stone and it might come to the point where, for whatever reason (health, finances etc.) I may not be able to secure his future either but at least at the moment there's an element of control and responsibility.
I don't want to lose her as a loaner and her to become annoyed but I was honest from day one and I thought the situation seemed to suit us both fine.
She is now asking about buying him and when I said "at least you know I won't take him off you" she replied telling me it wasn't the same. I know it's not the same as owning and I know she loves him but so do I, even if I haven't seen him for a while!
My question is this, have any of you ever been in a similar situation and how do you keep a happy medium without offending or upsetting the person when you are fond of them and do respect them as a loaner?
Chances are she may have had enough at some point and want to give him back, rather than loaning forever and I realise that's a risk but I think I'm just feeling a bit down about it all. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings but equally, I don't want to feel bad for not wanting to sell my horse. If I wanted to sell, I would've done it years ago and taken the money, rather than essentially just giving someone my horse for nothing and waiting years to be paid... if you know what I mean.
I'm a very overly sensitive person (as this massive novel of a post has probably shown you) and I do tend to dwell on things. I am a worrier by nature!
Other people's stories/situations would really help.
Thanks!
Anyway, one of them is on loan and has been for the past two years. The loaner is absolutely lovely and I couldn't ask for a nicer home. I trust her completely and she has done so much more with him than I have. So far, she has renewed the contract on a year by year basis (as a lot can happen in a year and I don't really want to state in a contract that she has him forever, purely because no one ever knows what the future holds). All that being said, I have also told her that I'm not going to turn round anytime soon and take him off her so she doesn't need to worry. I even said to her in the past that it might come to the point where she can keep him for the rest of his working life or until he needs to slow down to a gentler pace, where he'll ultimately be returned to me for his retirement (depending on my situation, of course).
She knows I have had certain experiences with a couple of horses I've sold in the past i.e. owners not being what they said they were/not giving them the nicest quality of life and me regretting the sale. I've also had a couple of horrible loan experiences (one whilst I was at uni, finding my horse had been loaned to someone else behind my back with comments left on Facebook such as "met X today, deal done, welcome to the family...". On top of that, it took me and my friend a year and a half to track down an old horse of ours, after he was sold on through home after home (about 8 in total over 18 months) and dealer after dealer, no one ever mentioning his issues.
I digress... I have always been honest with the loaner from day one. I love her to bits and she seems a lovely person but I don't want to ever sell my horse- not at the moment, anyway. My opinion may change as I get older but for the moment, that's how I feel, dead certain! It's not that I don't like her or don't trust her but I hate that you lose the security and future of that horse, once money has changed hands. Ok, so nothing is ever set in stone and it might come to the point where, for whatever reason (health, finances etc.) I may not be able to secure his future either but at least at the moment there's an element of control and responsibility.
I don't want to lose her as a loaner and her to become annoyed but I was honest from day one and I thought the situation seemed to suit us both fine.
She is now asking about buying him and when I said "at least you know I won't take him off you" she replied telling me it wasn't the same. I know it's not the same as owning and I know she loves him but so do I, even if I haven't seen him for a while!
My question is this, have any of you ever been in a similar situation and how do you keep a happy medium without offending or upsetting the person when you are fond of them and do respect them as a loaner?
Chances are she may have had enough at some point and want to give him back, rather than loaning forever and I realise that's a risk but I think I'm just feeling a bit down about it all. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings but equally, I don't want to feel bad for not wanting to sell my horse. If I wanted to sell, I would've done it years ago and taken the money, rather than essentially just giving someone my horse for nothing and waiting years to be paid... if you know what I mean.
I'm a very overly sensitive person (as this massive novel of a post has probably shown you) and I do tend to dwell on things. I am a worrier by nature!
Other people's stories/situations would really help.
Thanks!