bouncing_ball
Well-Known Member
^I can understand both you and your loaner's feelings on this, but this is the opinion that resonates most strongly with me. As someone who was permanently gifted my first horse but had loaned before, the loans were never the same. I couldn't let myself love them as much knowing that, however well I looked after them, one day their owners might change their minds and I could lose them. There are other people in the world who will love and care for your horse just as well as you can, and by the sounds of it your loaner is one of them. Maybe it's time to trust that someone else can have the control that ownership brings without it ending badly. As someone who was granted the gift of being given the horse I adored, I can tell you that no one except her first owner loved her more or looked after her better in her lifetime. She didn't suffer in any way because her old owner, who was struggling due to severe arthritis, let go; she thrived.
This. I have loaned multiple horses and bought most of them.
I think the loaner often cannot truly love a loan horse, that may be taken back at any time. You can be very fond of them, and do all the right things for them. But the level of relationship and bond when you have certainty that you control their long term future is different.
My relationship with the three loan horses I have bought changed when I bought them. Before that I was holding back a bit to protect myself.
I suspect your loaner is falling for your horse, as a horse that could be her horse of a life time. And she wants to protect herself from the risk of you taking him back / things changing.
I understand you love your horse and want to protect him.
I think perhaps the question is what is best for your horse long term. It might be to have one long term home, with a relationship where is very much loved. However that might be delivered?
It isnt easy being a loaner, once you fall for the horse you have on loan.