Feeling guilty

J

Jango

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My current horse was retired from ridden work a few months ago with a ligament injury, he is sound and would be fine for light hacking (w/t) but I'm just not interested in pottering about the tracks I enjoy schooling and competing. I made the decision to buy and another horse and send J my current horse to retirement grass livery. So he's going tomorrow (and I'm picking up my new lad) and I can't shake the feeling I'm dumping him, the yard is absolutely lovely, specialises in retirement and he will live out all year round with natural and field shelter, a big herd with twice daily checks. I can visit whenever but it's about 3hrs from me, but 45 mins from my mum and dads, realistically I'll be able to visit about 6 times a year. I should be excited for my new horse but I'm sat crying because I feel like I'm selfishly replacing my wonderful boy with a newer model. If I look at it objectively he will be fine, well looked after and he doesn't care if he's ridden. I adore this horse, I decided not to loan him out as I couldn't guarantee he wouldn't be sold on or overworked. I looked for full grass livery nearer to home but couldn't find anywhere suitable at all. Pretty pointless post really, just feel awful :-(
 
I completely understand how your feeling. I retired my beloved horse recently and found it really tough. I haven't sent mine to a retirement livery although i'd very much like to, its not really feasible for him and so I've got another riding horse and just kept him here. I don't have a stable and am not totally sure how the grass will hold up (looking for more turnout)
I think what you've done is nicer in a way although tough at the time. My horse watches me take the new one out to ride and calls constantly. I thought he'd get used to it but am not so sure now. I'd feel happier if he were in a nice big field with other retired horses, That would be perfect so I think you have made a brilliant decision for your horse.
Best of luck with the new one. (I too didn't look forward to or get excited about having a new one because of worry about the old)
Hugs x
 
Poor you, how sad! :( Of course you feel bad, losing a beloved horse , even if it's to retirement is like a bereavement and to be honest it's just like a process. You will have to work your way though it. You have thought about things carefully, you have found a great home for your lad. It sounds like you have done the best for him and to be honest he is going to have a great time. Sad there wasn't one closer to home but you still will visit and check on him. It seems your only other options do not appeal so you have fulfilled your responsibility. Now take it nice and slow with your new horse and enjoy , safe in the knowledge you are a great owner.
 
OP your old boy is lucky to have an owner who ensures a comfortable retirement for him. Many people shoot their horses once they cannot do what they want of them to make room for a new shiny model. You are giving your boy a nice retirement. I'm sure he will be blissfully happy.
 
When I come back in my next life id like to be one of your horses please!

I totally understand you are going to miss your horse but I'm sure he will be loving his new life as much as his old. You are not dumping him you are giving him a lovely retirement and will be visiting him every couple of months, and I'm sure you'll spoil him rotten when you do visit, he'll be in his element!

Enjoy your new horse as well as your old horses retirement :)
 
I am in the exact same position, I have found somewhere that will hopefully be perfect for my boy as long as he can learn to love living out full time. It's the only thing I can do for him, he's currently practicing and taking it all in his stride haha! I'm desperate to see him settled and happy but also can't stop crying that it won't be his silly high pitched whinny which greets me every morning!
 
Gosh you've hit a nerve with your post! I'm taking my horse tmrw to grass livery for some r&r and if I think about it I well up. Have similar feelings to you so I totally understand. I feel better if I flip it and think that I'm doing the best for my horse, even though I might be sad about it. Sounds like a lovely set up, so don't feel guilty, be happy that he'll have a lovely retirement and you can continue to have fun with your new horse.
 
Rockman said:
I am in the exact same position, I have found somewhere that will hopefully be perfect for my boy as long as he can learn to love living out full time. It's the only thing I can do for him, he's currently practicing and taking it all in his stride haha! I'm desperate to see him settled and happy but also can't stop crying that it won't be his silly high pitched whinny which greets me every morning!
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Oh lord, you've set me off again!
 
Bernster said:
Oh lord, you've set me off again!
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Haha I was the same reading your post! It's us that feel worse not them! I've been terrified my boy wouldn't cope living out and he's been out for a week now and still doesn't want to come in when I shout him!

We're doing the right thing by them, they will be happy and we deserve to be to! It's not replacing it's carrying on the memories!
 
You are all doing the right thing for your horses. It sounds like you have planned for this, thought it through and they will be so happy being horses. Don't be too hard on yourselves.
 
It can be really hard when your horse is injured and has to be retired - been there. Sounds like you have found a lovely home for him though, and I'm sure he will settle in. It might even be easier for you that he is a bit of a distance away. I had to retire my horse at age 7, and kept him locally when I bought a new one, but never really clicked with her, partly because I felt so guilty at retiring my lad. It took a long long time to get over him.
 
I've just retired my old boy pretty much for the same reason as you, but unlike your boy mine is being kept retired on my yard as we have large herd turnout anyway, I feel equally guilting about my boy being "left out" as nothing has changed for him.. except he is a bit more excluded now he isn't ridden - he will stand at the gate and wait whilst my sister and I ride (even though he has 4 others in the field with him) so at least with your horse going to a retirement livery he will have an exciting time meeting a new herd and having a new field :)
 
Thank you for the kind words everyone, definitely made me feel better when I read the posts this morning :-) I dropped him off today and he legged round happy with his new mates! I'm going to see him in a couple of weeks and I'm feeling like I made the right decision.

It's so hard retiring a horse before their time, good luck with everyone's other retirees!!
 
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