feeling gutted :(

TuscanBunnyGirl

TuscanBunnyGirl

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Have just been for another consultation at the hospital after smashing my knee cap up badly end of October in a car accident and they've told me I wont get full movement back in it and probably wont showjump again. I'm absolutely devastated :( I know there are people going through far worse but I feel totally crushed :'( sorry for the poor me post, my oh and family dont really get how gutted I am right now :(
 
Oh no, no wonder you are gutted, sending you a hug x

However, never say never, stranger things have happened than a Doctor's prognosis being proved wrong.
 
I feel for you OP but this isn't the end. This is where your fight starts.

You've been given an opinion, possibly a good one but not the only one and they didn't take into account what we know. We know how much you love showjumping, so we know how hard you'll fight to get back there.

You have until lunchtime tomorrow to feel sad and then you start work. Start researching options, see a physio, make sure your GP knows you want to keep treating this. If you can, get a second opinion from a private doc / physio....you need to look into it tomorrow.

Tonight, relax, take care and catch your breath after a difficult day.
 
Don't panic...only you will be able to tell how much you can do. I had a very bad femur and knee smash 18mos ago,screws, tytanium nail, the lot. The Drs and physios were very skeptical about me ever getting back on board, but I am back to full riding fitness now. You will know what you can do, but take it easy and be sensible. It may take a while, but never give up.
 
I broke my tibia very badly it was a mess the knee had to be reconstructed and the tibia was reconstructed using coral this failed and I had to have bone grafts to get it half right .
It look five years of surgerys .
It's not normal and it does affect my riding but I do ride jump hunt and enjoy my horse don't despair you may have more function than you fear .
 
zzClaire said:
I feel for you OP but this isn't the end. This is where your fight starts.

You've been given an opinion, possibly a good one but not the only one and they didn't take into account what we know. We know how much you love showjumping, so we know how hard you'll fight to get back there.

You have until lunchtime tomorrow to feel sad and then you start work. Start researching options, see a physio, make sure your GP knows you want to keep treating this. If you can, get a second opinion from a private doc / physio....you need to look into it tomorrow.

Tonight, relax, take care and catch your breath after a difficult day.
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^This

Look at Nick Skelton if you want inspiration!
 
i dislocated my elbow very badly many years ago and the hospital doc said my arm would never be straight again and i would have limited movement......how wrong was he, my arm is straight and works fine....i wasnt prepared to give in and did loads of physio , it took a while but the results showed it was worth it.... docs seem to be pessimistic about recovery but are not always right...good luck and dont give up!!!!!!!
 
Aw love. Hope it turns out to be just a bad diagnosis. If not there is always other realms like endurance or trec or dressage to get you out and about - even if it's not what you totally love.
 
Thank you all so so much for your replies, you can't imagine how much better they've made me feel. I know there are people out there going through a million times worse things and would probably beg to have 'just' a little bit of movement in their leg but I really feel like the whole rug has been pulled from underneath me :( I ride very quirky/difficult 'dangerous' horses for people as a living and its something I've always loved doing knowing Ive been able to help a horse/rider out by getting to the root cause etc and I don't know if I'll be able to do that again :( I love showjumping and he thought of not being able to go and do it again is crushing :( I can't believe one drive to work has made all this happen, so so gutted :(

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equi said:
Aw love. Hope it turns out to be just a bad diagnosis. If not there is always other realms like endurance or trec or dressage to get you out and about - even if it's not what you totally love.
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thank you i really hope so. Will have to get cracking with the dressage!

Cortez said:
Don't panic...only you will be able to tell how much you can do. I had a very bad femur and knee smash 18mos ago,screws, tytanium nail, the lot. The Drs and physios were very skeptical about me ever getting back on board, but I am back to full riding fitness now. You will know what you can do, but take it easy and be sensible. It may take a while, but never give up.
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I'm totally panicking!! :'( your post has given me more hope than ive had in a little while. thank you so so so much. Was your kneecap smashed? it seems like such a rare thing to do and no one seems to have that much information on it. Im having another operation in a couple of months to see if they can take the metal out which might give me a little more movement in it as the tendons are pinned down at the moment.

Goldenstar said:
I broke my tibia very badly it was a mess the knee had to be reconstructed and the tibia was reconstructed using coral this failed and I had to have bone grafts to get it half right .
It look five years of surgerys .
It's not normal and it does affect my riding but I do ride jump hunt and enjoy my horse don't despair you may have more function than you fear .
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for your reply, its made me feel a lot better. thank you!
 
What a rotten day for you :-(. I can't add anything more to what everybody else has said - stay strong and determined. And get as much physio as you can as soon as possible, it really can make all the difference xx
 
So sorry, as you say, gutting.

The thing that went into my mind is to try and find a specialist doctor/physio who deals with jockeys and riders - I think Cheltenham hospital has lots of experience with riders. Injured jockeys charity might give you some contacts and what about the Mark Davies charity?
 
Don't take this as gospel, I have had 2 falls which I were told would prevent me doing any sport never mind riding and I am back riding and also running and swimming. Get a good sports physio and do your excercises religiously, you may have some reduced movement but should get back to it. Just keep fighting.
 
thank you all so much for your replies, you cant imagine how much more positive theyve made me feel, thank you. Went back to physio and have gained another 10degrees in 2 weeks so just pushing with my exercises as much as I can and just keeping everything crossed that it wont be too bad :/ heres to hoping! thank you
 
Don't take into account what doctors say. They have to give the worst case scenario because if they don't they will get sued for being wrong. Worst case is you won't jump again. Best case is you will.

My doctor told me I might struggle to ever run again and possibly will not ride again and all I had was a tiny fracture in my tibia. I just looked at him and said "I will be riding again". Didn't care about the running :P

Keep doing your exercises and take everything slowly. If you think you can try walking don't and give it another week or so. If you think " I can probably ride again" don't and keep strengthening it. The last thing you want to do is go too fast with it. I don't even listen to doctors on that I try things when I think I am ready. I know my body better than they do I can feel the lack of strength in it they can't. But don't be ruled by your need to get back in the saddle take it easy. The longer you wait the longer you will get to continue riding for when older. You rush, you pay the price in later years.
 
Thank you so much, keeps me feeling a lot more positive. The doctors have been really rubbish at times. One told me I wouldnt get anymore movement back in it as itd been 6 weeks and another completely dismissed me when i complained of an horrendous amount of pain in my leg telling me 'of course its going to hurt, it was broken'..Turns out I had a lot of clotting in my leg after they forgot to give me anti-coagulants after my op.

I did this guys!!!...i literally sat (wouldnt even class it as riding) but I did it! The pain was awful but it was so worth it, just went for a little 15/20min plod round the village :)

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See riding with it still broken is how you are going to end up never riding again. Its up to you of course but is half an hour of walking around a village worth never getting on a horse again or potentially never walking again? I mean if you fall off onto concrete you are going to shatter it. But its your leg.
 
How long has it been since the accident TBG? I was back on board after a nasty break of my tib and fib with an IM nail down the tibia after 4.5 months, my instructor said he'd never known anybody back riding so soon after such an injury. One week after discharge from hospital I was having physio 3/week for 12 weeks (prescribed by the surgeon) concentrating on my knee and ankle (insertion point of the nail via the knee which was screwed into place at knee and ankle). My knee joint was in an awful state - and that was without the bone damage that you have - so please do take it easily and get as much physio and guidance as you can. I honestly don't think that without the amount of physio I had I would have been back on a horse as quickly as I was, but in hindsight, I think I did also push myself too much just out of sheer pig headedness :). You will get there, you have youth on your side, but (with my 'mother's' head on) please don't take risks that would set you back or possibly end your riding <slaps hand> :)
 
rachk89 said:
See riding with it still broken is how you are going to end up never riding again. Its up to you of course but is half an hour of walking around a village worth never getting on a horse again or potentially never walking again? I mean if you fall off onto concrete you are going to shatter it. But its your leg.
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:/ its not broken anymore. the actual bone is healed. I'm in absolute agony because theres still metal work running over my knee attached into my tendon. I cant bend it so much because the joint lining is far more damaged than they originally thought and the thought of not ever being able to ride properly again is far worse than the actual pain. If I fall off onto concrete I'm going to shatter it?!...the doctor described it as someone had taken a hammer to an apple..the actual bone is healed, if I ever crack it again it wont be mendable but thats not going to stop be getting back on because I dont know what the heck I would do with myself if I didnt ride again so will take that risk for now while its not actually doing me any harm. If I dont get the muscles and tendons back working in a 'riding' position they won't ever be strong enough.

Fidgety said:
How long has it been since the accident TBG? I was back on board after a nasty break of my tib and fib with an IM nail down the tibia after 4.5 months, my instructor said he'd never known anybody back riding so soon after such an injury. One week after discharge from hospital I was having physio 3/week for 12 weeks (prescribed by the surgeon) concentrating on my knee and ankle (insertion point of the nail via the knee which was screwed into place at knee and ankle). My knee joint was in an awful state - and that was without the bone damage that you have - so please do take it easily and get as much physio and guidance as you can. I honestly don't think that without the amount of physio I had I would have been back on a horse as quickly as I was, but in hindsight, I think I did also push myself too much just out of sheer pig headedness :). You will get there, you have youth on your side, but (with my 'mother's' head on) please don't take risks that would set you back or possibly end your riding <slaps hand> :)
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I did it end of October :( Doctors said I could ride it just hurts so much because of the wire placement into my tendon and theres obviously a lot of soft tissue damage as well as when it happened all the muscles and tendons came away with it :( I need a bit of pigheadness right now else I dont think I'll be getting anywhere. Whether I fall off tomorrow or in 10years on it, the outcome will be the same but thats something to think about when I get there. The physio exercises are horrifically painful, actually breaking your knee doesnt hurt half as much as doing the exercises but if i dont it wont ever be half okay :(
 
In my (very limited) experience you can get very different pain levels following what different physios recommend so I wouldn't be shy about seeing an alternative one and discussing if you have any doubts.

Once/until you have it as good as you can you might want to think about side saddle. Very popular with amputees after WW1 so you can get side saddles on either side and, as long as your 'bad' leg can relax in a relatively static bent position you can pop that on top and look amazing/do any discipline you used to (initially at a lower level - but with way more style!).

You look little compared to our horses in your sig so should be able to find something that fits both of you.
 
TuscanBunnyGirl said:
:/ its not broken anymore. the actual bone is healed. I'm in absolute agony because theres still metal work running over my knee attached into my tendon. I cant bend it so much because the joint lining is far more damaged than they originally thought and the thought of not ever being able to ride properly again is far worse than the actual pain. If I fall off onto concrete I'm going to shatter it?!...the doctor described it as someone had taken a hammer to an apple..the actual bone is healed, if I ever crack it again it wont be mendable but thats not going to stop be getting back on because I dont know what the heck I would do with myself if I didnt ride again so will take that risk for now while its not actually doing me any harm. If I dont get the muscles and tendons back working in a 'riding' position they won't ever be strong enough.
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I thought it was still broken but my point is the same. Its weak still and it has little protection because everything around it is weak. Like I say its your choice go ahead and ride. But you are better off not riding and strengthening it up beforehand than risking needing to use crutches for the rest of your life. Dunno about you but I hated having mine even for 12 weeks lol. Strengthening the muscles for riding afterwards will be easy and less painful if they are strong already.
 
The doctors do give their prognosis based on Jo Public who go home sit watching rubbish on tv for six weeks, put 25% effort into their physio. I think horse riders (and most people who play sport) are different, far more motivated. I broke my leg and dislocated my foot rugby training in July. I now have a plate and screws holding my ankle together and they said 'it will be a year before you can consider playing again' Well it probably will be before I play a match but it was 10 weeks to ride again (all be it without stirrups) and in December I completed a half marathon on it. Like I said doctors work on if you put no effort in to cover those who don't.
I would advise finding a physio you're comfortable with I had an NHS one who didn't fill me with confidence from the outset with a shoulder dislocation and I thought well she's qualified and in the first session I told her my shoulder was going to pop out if the took my arm behind my back, she kept pushing and then when it did dislocate just screamed! I've since decided theres 'qualified' and there's 'competent'.
I don't know about knees but if its swelling when riding wear loose trousers I stupidly didn't realise a large amount of pain in my ankle was it swelling inside the not stretchy hem of skinny jeans and leggins hence causing a comedic but painful indent. It's much more comfortable if it has room to swell. I imagine this would be an issue for knees and jodhpurs.
Good luck with the recovery and take what the doctor said as 'if you put no effort in this will be the outcome'
 
Llewellyn said:
The doctors do give their prognosis based on Jo Public who go home sit watching rubbish on tv for six weeks, put 25% effort into their physio. I think horse riders (and most people who play sport) are different, far more motivated. I broke my leg and dislocated my foot rugby training in July. I now have a plate and screws holding my ankle together and they said 'it will be a year before you can consider playing again' Well it probably will be before I play a match but it was 10 weeks to ride again (all be it without stirrups) and in December I completed a half marathon on it. Like I said doctors work on if you put no effort in to cover those who don't.
I would advise finding a physio you're comfortable with I had an NHS one who didn't fill me with confidence from the outset with a shoulder dislocation and I thought well she's qualified and in the first session I told her my shoulder was going to pop out if the took my arm behind my back, she kept pushing and then when it did dislocate just screamed! I've since decided theres 'qualified' and there's 'competent'.
I don't know about knees but if its swelling when riding wear loose trousers I stupidly didn't realise a large amount of pain in my ankle was it swelling inside the not stretchy hem of skinny jeans and leggins hence causing a comedic but painful indent. It's much more comfortable if it has room to swell. I imagine this would be an issue for knees and jodhpurs.
Good luck with the recovery and take what the doctor said as 'if you put no effort in this will be the outcome'
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This.

Broke my wrist last year and was told the break was so severe that I would have reduced mobility when it healed (hand was basically no longer attached to arm!). I did a bit of research and found out that the NHS was running an early-removal-of-cast/lots-of-physio trial because it was showing better results for wrist fractures. So I took the cast off and worked and worked at getting the movement back into it. The results are stunning all the medics who see it.

Physio, physio, physio. I never sat down anywhere without kneading the tendons free or stretching the amount of bend or rotation I could get into it. It annoyed my friends to death, but it worked!

OP, best of luck for a good outcome. Make the doctor who told you that you'll never show jump again eat his words. And the one who told you it was as good as it will get at six weeks is a fool. How many horses would we put down if that was true?

I'm looking forward to a post in six months time 'I jumped a cross pole!'
 
You need a good private Physio to help you reach your goals .
Things will probably never be as they were you will learn to accept that but find you can still enjoy and love horses .
I admit I still have days when I feel cross but mostly I accept what happened .
 
*Huge hugs*

But don't fret and never say never!!!

I knew one lady who had an accident and damaged her spine, she was told walking would be a huge challenge let alone riding again. She competed to Advanced Medium!

Take one day at a time :)
 
So sorry op, what a terrible thing to be told :(

Look after yourself and make sure you take things slowly and do your exercises.

Harry Meade was told he wouldn't tide again and then came 2nd at Badminton a few months later! Grit your teeth, you never know where a bit of determination can get you!

All the best x
 
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