feeling like a rubbish rider at viewings!

mandwhy

mandwhy

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Now then, I think my two horse viewings so far have not been very successful. The first one was a big barrel on stick legs with general bad conformation at a ludicrous price who tried to buck me off a lot, but I stayed on and we managed a canter eventually, the second one was stunning but took off with me round the school a few times (I don't remember even applying my leg). It was at a private competition yard which I did not know til I got there so I felt very under pressure having a professional rider, her groom, and the husband who was also horsey there watching me, as well as my OH who had never even seen me ride a horse! I'm sure they all thought 'oh, another novice who thinks they can ride...' hmm :-/

I actually really liked the second one, I may try again as I had been driving for 4 hours (should have been 2.5, grr bank holiday!!) I was very stressed and tense as we were so late, and was not feeling like I needed the audience! Got two more viewings lined up for this week with possibly a third.

It is silly but I just hate the pressure, it's like a job interview!
 
Ignore the pressure, they are not there to judge you, they are there to try and sell you a horse! Just relax, enjoy the ride and assess the horse. At the end of the day they want to you buy it!

Dont feel pressured about the riding, concentrate on the horse in question and what the sellers have to say
 
You are there as a potential customer, whether it is a private sale or not. OK we may not like to look on in that way with livestock and emotions and what not come into play - but at the end of the day that is the long and the short of it.

Therefore, you are well within your rights to have a quiet word with the seller you are dealing with and ask them that they alone remain and that other people kindly leave, if you explain that you feel an audience may effect the true nature and abilities of the horse, then I am sure they will understand! You don't need to be snotty about it, just a quick quiet word :)
 
Iv only bought 2 in my entire life. One when i was a kid and couldnt care less who was watching and the other it was just my friend and numpty ex owner watching so im not experienced in this field so sorry if my suggestion total rubbish!

Do you have an instructor? If you do maybe (with the sellers permission of course) the instructor could direct your test ride?

It would be a familiar voice giving famoiliar instructions and might help direct your focus on the task in hand rather than who is watching.
 
If you feel pressured ask them to wait around the corner for a few mins so you can relax and get used to the horse. They can be in earshot incase of problem. I always ask people to give me a few mins when I'm trying a horse to share. It just stops me worrying.
 
matt_m said:
Therefore, you are well within your rights to have a quiet word with the seller you are dealing with and ask them that they alone remain and that other people kindly leave, if you explain that you feel an audience may effect the true nature and abilities of the horse, then I am sure they will understand! You don't need to be snotty about it, just a quick quiet word :)
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Sorry, if someone said that to me, I'd think I had a novice/nutcase on my hands.

If someone just said they get a bit nervous in new places/being watched, I'd understand far more...
 
CrazyMare said:
Sorry, if someone said that to me, I'd think I had a novice/nutcase on my hands.

If someone just said they get a bit nervous in new places/being watched, I'd understand far more...
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I often offer to leave people alone, well with whoever comes with them, once I have seen they actually can ride, it is usually appreciated as most people get nervous and can end up not trying properly if they feel eyes watching their every move.
 
OP I sympathise as I've been in this position and because I don't react well when someone is watching, I can't deal with it!

One of the problems is that if you are in the position of horse-hunting, its probably the case that you've got used to one particular horse for a number of years. This was my situation; I'd had my dear old boy who I trusted implicity and we understood each other. Then I lost him and suddenly had to cope wtih all sorts of horses out there who wouldn't be quite so understanding!

I don't know if this is your position or not, BUT its very very hard to get on to another horse if you've had just the one, and trusted it 101%, then its suddenly not there anymore.

What I had to grit my teeth and make myself do was to get used to riding a lot of different horses. If you've got some friends who'll let you ride theirs; and maybe you could then ask them if its OK to practice doing what you'd do at a viewing, i.e. walk, trot, canter on both reins and in all paces plus maybe pop a fence - and use this to gain your confidence.

OR you could (or as well as) take this opportunity of improving your riding and go to a good instructor and explain your problem; ask them to help you with this. A good instructor will be able to put you on different horses and help you to re-gain your confidence. A one-to-one lesson would be best for this initially.

I think you are being quite hard on yourself: if you think yourself to be a "rubbish" rider then yes that will dent your confidence.

But this is an opportunity for you to deal with this and bite the bullet.

Sorry meant to say that if you're going to a viewing - I'm probably teaching granny to suck eggs here - BUT always always make sure that you see the horse ridden first BEFORE you get on board! Never ever get on it if your not sure about it or have any sense of unease coz its YOUR neck not theirs.

Good luck anyway.
 
And does a nervous rider not make for a poorer performing horse?

Errr....yes in many cases.

The OP clearly does not want to highlight the fact that she is nervous hence my choice of wording which essentially is saying the same thing but in a more diplomatic and less self inflaming way!
 
I don't have an instructor at the moment. My share horse is just for hacking and we don't have an arena or anywhere to have a lesson. I have chosen a lovely quiet livery with school that has a dressage rider come and do lessons quite often so I am really keen to do that when I have the horse, but even if I had a few lessons with the local lady, I don't think she would be prepared to come so far away with me, it is a dilemma!

I do just need to remember they are trying to sell me something!

Good idea matt_m, I would feel happy buying from these people as they were very professional and I'm sure if I had said 'look guys I feel a bit under pressure here' they would have realised, maybe I did a better job of acting calm and collected than I thought! My OH was like 'why are you stressing, I don't know much but you looked comfortable up there!'

Hopefully if I do try him again it will be much better as I will know what to expect. The horse was great, lovely temperament but a very big chap and heavy on the forehand, leaning on the reins a bit I think, so it was quite hard on my arms which I am not really used to using quite so much as I like to be light as I can, but he was only 6 and it did improve when we had worked it out a bit and were more balanced, not just me thinking 'please don't charge off again!', I think he was just excitable after the groom had popped him over a jump for me and maybe after that was not the best time to get on!

Think I will see how this week goes with the others, they said he is very chilled out on a hack and not bothered by traffic at all, so I might ask if I can take him about their land on our own for a bit - I am not sure how sellers feel about people actually taking their horses out onto the road for a test-hack?
 
mandwhy said:
I don't have an instructor at the moment. My share horse is just for hacking and we don't have an arena or anywhere to have a lesson.
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OP sorry to appear to be being hard on you here, but there's a saying about Mohammed and the Mountain - if one doesn't travel the other has to!!! :)

So....... as gently as I can, and whilst appreciating your current situation - can I encourage you to er, get off your hinterland and if an instructor cannot come to you, then FGS GO and get some lessons if that is what you need!!!!
 
Sellers should expect you to want to go for a short hack on the road, how else are you going to see how it is in traffic, if you go back arrange to go for a short hack then ride in the school once you are more relaxed.

Everybody gets a bit nervous trying horses, it is a big deal especially your first purchase, just make sure you take your time and dont feel pressured by any sellers rushing you to make a decision.
 
If I don't like the horse and or it is not as described, and I won't buy it, I don't try it.
On the other hand, I am currently trying to sell, my boy looks absolutely "stunning" at the moment, and I do make it clear he is not a novice ride, but they just keep coming............. he is not mad, but is not for a wimp, what more can I do. I ask, can they jump, yes, [apparently not with a witness], have they ridden horses other than RS plods. yes [but they fell off!]
 
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MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
OR you could (or as well as) take this opportunity of improving your riding and go to a good instructor and explain your problem; ask them to help you with this. A good instructor will be able to put you on different horses and help you to re-gain your confidence. A one-to-one lesson would be best for this initially.

I think you are being quite hard on yourself: if you think yourself to be a "rubbish" rider then yes that will dent your confidence.

But this is an opportunity for you to deal with this and bite the bullet.
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Thank you glad I'm not the only one! I did say to the lady whilst watching the groom ride him that I wanted to have lessons on him and improve my riding because it has been some time since I have done a lot of schooling or anything formal, and I really wanted to do some RC things and see how it goes. Seeing how he moved I just thought, 'this horse is better schooled than I am!'.... you're right I am being hard on myself, it had been a long day and I was feeling emotional!

I have thought about going and having some lessons to brush up, but I seem to be spending all my time looking for horses now, and I just really want to find one I can progress with before I get into lessons again :-)

I have read a lot of posts on here about people selling horses and getting novices/'numpties' turn up (must stop feeding the insecurity!) and I just think that's probably how it looked but then I have never seen anyone else try a horse for the first time either, it might happen more than I think! The husband who I think was the actual owner was quite shall we say... rough and ready! 'Come on you can pull him! Yes you have to steer him he's not pre-programmed' etc. I think I would have just liked him to leave and the others stay... but I'm sure I was just being a bit too delicate bless me!
 
mandwhy said:
Now then, I think my two horse viewings so far have not been very successful. The first one was a big barrel on stick legs with general bad conformation at a ludicrous price who tried to buck me off a lot, but I stayed on and we managed a canter eventually, the second one was stunning but took off with me round the school a few times (I don't remember even applying my leg). It was at a private competition yard which I did not know til I got there so I felt very under pressure having a professional rider, her groom, and the husband who was also horsey there watching me, as well as my OH who had never even seen me ride a horse! I'm sure they all thought 'oh, another novice who thinks they can ride...' hmm :-/

I actually really liked the second one, I may try again as I had been driving for 4 hours (should have been 2.5, grr bank holiday!!) I was very stressed and tense as we were so late, and was not feeling like I needed the audience! Got two more viewings lined up for this week with possibly a third.

It is silly but I just hate the pressure, it's like a job interview!
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Why don't you just ask them if they think you can manage?
 
I second the suggestion to get some practice riding different horses in less pressured situations. Having only really ridden my own horse for a number of years i arranged to borrow different horses from my friends for "one off" lessons. My instructor helped my practice assessing the horses. I also booked some lessons at a nearby riding school on their schoolmasters - all with very different styles. It really helped me be more confident when it came to riding strange horses in strange surroundings and i quite enjoyed the experience.
 
MiJodsR2BlinkinTite said:
OP sorry to appear to be being hard on you here, but there's a saying about Mohammed and the Mountain - if one doesn't travel the other has to!!! :)

So....... as gently as I can, and whilst appreciating your current situation - can I encourage you to er, get off your hinterland and if an instructor cannot come to you, then FGS GO and get some lessons if that is what you need!!!!
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Haha no worries :-) Yes I probably should just go and get some lessons on the instructors horses, I think I've just been thinking I'd hold off until I get new horse so I can really throw myself into it, but I hadn't really anticipated I'd be so apprehensive about it all!

Miss L Toe - I actually did ask the guy at the end, I said obviously I want to improve and have lessons so that we can grow together but I worry he might be a bit too much for me although I do really like him and think he has great potential, then I asked him what he thought and he said the horse would never do anything to hurt you and would always look after you on a hack and he seemed to think hacking is really his job but he'll have a go at anything, I think they were a bit rushed as I had got so delayed in traffic as well, so I think the answer is to go back, be relaxed and have time, try him on a hack and see what I think then, it all makes sense now I am such a worrier sometimes!

I know the horse has been on the market for some time purely because he's a TB and there are so many really cheap ones I suppose, so I'm sure they are quite keen to sell by now!
 
OP - I've been in the same boat recently...I am horribly out of practise (1 retired and 1 unbacked) a nervous friend has me going with her to viewings and riding the horse for her after the owner to give her some confidence before getting on.

Last week I tried out a pony for her...I am 5'9! I felt like a prize plank....big yard...people watching! I feel your pain! I have no objection to ponies...but I find it really hard with my legs dangling!

Try not to let it bother you...I just laughed it off.....have to do it again soon! :eek:

I think the suggestion of...'do you think I can manage' is a very good one. Explain you are out of practise prior to viewing and remember that even if these people have something to say then 'who cares' as long as you find the right horse for you!
 
The first horse i ever viewed for a part loan i was a complete wreck. I was only 14 and the YO obviously realised i was feeling a little pressured into 'performing' and came over and directed us, And as she schooled the horse herself once a week, Also knew the horse and was able to give me a few pointers on his personality and way of going etc.

It was much easier once she stepped in! could you not do something like this?
 
be positive said:
Sellers should expect you to want to go for a short hack on the road, how else are you going to see how it is in traffic, if you go back arrange to go for a short hack then ride in the school once you are more relaxed.
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If I had a nice horse and a numptie came to ride it, I would not let them take it out on the road if I felt they were incompetent, I would certainly go along with a more experienced rider, and make sure my lovely horse was safe.
I would NOT let them take horse out of stable on to the road.
You have to realise that some little girls spend their weekend going and riding other people horse, its cheap riding .
Other girls do NOT realise they are not competent riders, maybe someone should tell them before they start viewing horses they can't ride.
 
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Hey, I was in exactly your position, I really found having a couple of lessons at riding schools I hadn't been to before(new instructors, unfamiliar yard, random horses) really helped as I was effectively being sized up and judged each time, which is what will happen when you try what can be someone's pride and joy.

It can be a very stressful situation though, and there's such a lot riding on it (see what I did there?!) that I don't think you can always avoid the nerves. It did annoy me at some placed though, when you get on and all of a sudden the world and it's dog has turned up for a nose! Bit unfair in my opinion. I think the monent we feel anyone is scrutinising us we do make a mistake!

The horse I eventually bought was the absolute perfect trial, but the owner was scarily similar to me which really helped, she also happily chatted to my bf about none horsey things which really took the pressure off!

I know it's cliched (sp?) but you'll 'know' when you find the right horse and will relax and enjoy the trial because of it.

Ps- Try Groupon for some good riding school deals

Good luck!
 
I can totally relate i turn into a complete none rider when people are watching.

I actually stopped a horse in an arena once, walked the horse up to the owner and said 'thank you but i have said i didnt want people watching and i dont want to waste any more of your time' - whilst giving daggers to her entourage who 'sneeked' in after i had asked in a very polite manner would they mind allowing me to try the horse out with just the owner present.

I got of handed the reins back and drove off, suffice to say the owner called and apologised and she understood how i had felt and she should have been more firm with her pals.

If a seller wants to sell they as long as they are there they shouldnt need anyone else it can be intimidating and off putting to a buyer IF the buyer has made it clear about the environment they wish to test the horse in first.
 
I am also currently horse hunting and have been feeling exactly the same.

I am a one horse rider and was so used to my mare that my riding her was almost telepathic. So far over the weekend I have viewed and tried 3 horses. The first one was only a youngster of 5 with not much mileage on the clock . He was extremely sensitive and forward going which I actually like, however the canter almost turned into an out of control gallop around the arena! Not the horse for me at my age lol

The second horse was lunged before I got on and then wouldn't go when I was on! No kidding I could just about get it to trot.

The third horse I saw yesterday was very nicely bred. A pure bred Hanoverian by Don Crusader. Nice natured with a nice owner but way too fat and again, I just about managed to get it into trot let alone canter! I felt a complete numpty on all 3 occasions. Admittedly I haven't ridden for a couple of months now but I'm not that rusty!

I am beginning to wonder if there are any nice horses out there that don't require legs of steel to get them going. I'm not keen on wearing spurs on a horse I've never met. And so, my search continues.
 
Hiya, I don't want to put a dampener on but I would be really concerned that this horse took off with you several times, alarm bells would ring but well done for managing, you can't be that bad a rider can you? The reason i say this is because the horse will almost certainly have been ridden and lunged before you arrived to try to make sure it was as calm as they could make it, especially if it was a professional yard, it's what anyone would do before a viewing, and one of the reasons folks say a horse was perfect when they tried it yet changes once they get it home. Despite this the horse still took off...be careful :)
 
Miss L Toe said:
If I had a nice horse and a numptie came to ride it, I would not let them take it out on the road if I felt they were incompetent, I would certainly go along with a more experienced rider, and make sure my lovely horse was safe.
I would NOT let them take horse out of stable on to the road.
You have to realise that some little girls spend their weekend going and riding other people horse, its cheap riding .
Other girls do NOT realise they are not competent riders, maybe someone should tell them before they start viewing horses they can't ride.
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I sell a few very nice horses and always let people go out on the road, either at the end of the first viewing or as suggested here, when coming back for a second view.

I dont sell to numpties, they will not be allowed out alone or accompanied and are, if they are actually able to slip through the questioning and get here;), sometimes told that the horse is not for them, I often sell to the first to view as I am thoroughly honest in my ads and will tell people who contact me that the horse is not the right one, something many people appreciate but rarely happens, hence timewasters on both sides.

If more people knew their own abilities and tried horses more thoroughly there would be less threads on here about problems with buying and selling.
 
maresmaid said:
I second the suggestion to get some practice riding different horses in less pressured situations. Having only really ridden my own horse for a number of years i arranged to borrow different horses from my friends for "one off" lessons. My instructor helped my practice assessing the horses. I also booked some lessons at a nearby riding school on their schoolmasters - all with very different styles. It really helped me be more confident when it came to riding strange horses in strange surroundings and i quite enjoyed the experience.
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this is a really good suggestion, I am nont a novice rider anymore (my instructor keeps telling me how good I am despite how many times I refute her suggestion ;)) however I have been riding the same quirky horse for nearly 2 years and nothing else, getting on other stuff is just plain weird! That being said having gone and tried 4 different horses so far I am already feeling more confident with 'different' horses. I am hopefully trying my dream horse next week :)

I hate being watched by some people, it really depends on their demeanour, some I have been fine with as they have been chatty and friendly and others are more intimidating (despite working/liverying on a competition and stud yard myself!). I always try to make myself scarce during viewings in sympathy!:D

Also as others have said you are the buyer, who gives a hoot what they think :)
 
TicTac said:
I am a one horse rider and was so used to my mare that my riding her was almost telepathic.
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That's what I have felt with a lot of the horses I am used to! It is a bit like that with my share horse even though I have only been riding her about 6 months! The only time I really consciously use the reins is when she is tanking off on those irresistible bits of track and I am trying to stop her (sometimes she just won't!) or she is having a bit of a spook and I am trying to direct her, oh and half halts and stuff. I tend to use my legs and try to use my seat more and suppose I prefer quite sensitive horses and I do prefer mares because I think you get that connection a bit more.

xxMozlarxx - that had crossed my mind too, I suppose I will find out if they let me take him out on a hack (been meaning to buy a body protector...)

Just most horses I have got to know in the past few years have been part loans or 'projects' some time ago so none of them have been perfect, I am not looking for perfect, I have got to a stage where I can ride them, but I remember being feeling pretty uncomfortable on all but one of them to start with! I suppose a loan WVTB would be an ideal situation but it's hard enough to find any I am interested in let alone restrict the search to those very few!

Gosh it is hard to look at your own riding very objectively, I think a lesson or two would be useful to get some reassurance or assistance to see what would suit me. Neither of these horses were described as 'not a novice ride', the first one was ploddy and quite uninspiring but I should think a true novice would have been on the floor with the bucking etc. so I am sort of wondering what on earth the 'not a novice ride' ones are going to be like, suppose I will find out this week!

Thanks for the suggestions and I'm glad I'm not the only one!
 
I've viewed four horses today and I rode two of them like a numpty :cool:

op - would it make you feel any better if I told you that I almost got launched from a grand prix horse in front of an international show jumper and the jump was only 90cms? :D
 
Jeez..I couldn't even manage the trot on my boy..talk about embarrassing :o Glad that once id bought him my instructor said it was the biggest trot of any horse she was riding.
 
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