feeling low..... lacking motivation

[NeverSayNever]

desperate for my own horse again after giving it all up when I went to uni... i embarked on horse ownership again at the age of 29.( In those years I had got very into dog agility and have built up a kennel of 6 dogs, going away and competing most weekends. ) I had a little young coloured cob who i got after getting in a big mess with a dealer... i only kept her for 6 months as she wasnt really right for me in a lot of ways.

I had my connie x then for just for over 2 years. We got on great, I started jumping again and we did very well at local XC and JX and went to the BHS novice champs last year. As I started to copete him, I had to find a balance with agility and as such, I did less comps with the dogs.He wasnt one for flatwork though and as we had won out of the novice classes and he was 15,I decided to sell him - he wasnt going to go the bigger classes- and get something I could do a bit more on. I had a dream of doing some low level BE, and my RI fully supported me.

After a few hiccups where I lost some confidence after a fall, I got Charlie in June. He is fantastic, everything I could wish for. 15.2hh, 7 years old and been and done a fair amount. In a short time we have been out and done some small jx comps, sj and a few local HT's,and a pleasure ride, plan is to focus on dressage over winter.

However Ive been finding my motivation isnt what it used to be and its really getting me down I used to live and breathe doing things with my horse and now I feel depressed about it. I havent really enjoyed the last few outings we did. A few weeks ago, some of you may have read on here that i lost my young dog Diva, who was just 18 months old and had been entered in her first comp this coming weekend. It has hit me like a ton of bricks to lose her I know this hasnt helped... but I also know I wasnt feeling great about things before this happened. On my days off I used to want to ride, now I feel as if I have to make myself. I feel awful, I have this super duper lovely horse that Ive dreamed of all my life and now I have no motivation

 

[Ilovefoals]

All I can say is don't pressure yourself. It'll only make you feel worse. If you don't want to ride then so what. Everyone has these phases sometimes and a lot of it has to do with the time of year. Losing your wee dog has made you feel low and making yourself ride if you don't feel like it will definately not help you enjoy it.

My advice would be to give yourself some time to get over the loss of your dog and maybe just spend a bit of time grooming the horse and playing around with him until your motivation returns. I know from experience, this helps and like I say, we all go through times like these. Try not to worry. xxx

 

[Steorra]

Exactly. It can be hard to stay motivated at this time of year, with the winter ahead of us, and then to have the loss of your dog on top of that must be hard.

Why not take a couple of weeks holiday from riding. Give your horse plenty of turn out and he won't mind in the slightest, and they often come back better from a short break. You will soon find that you start to miss hacking on crisp winter mornings, or seeing your boy step out of the box at a show looking all gleaming and smart.

 

[Firewell]

Hi,
Are you thinking that maybe you enjoy training your dogs for agility more than riding and competing your horse? There's nothing wrong with that if you do, you should indulge yourself in what makes you happy.

On the other hand it is really hard to be motivated to ride when the weather is awful. I go through phases where I want to do loads of competing and riding and phases where I just want to spend some time with OH and not do anything horsey. I think that's quite normal. Try taking the pressure off like the others have said. It's meant to be enjoyable so just ride when you want and don't book any competitions unless you really want too .

 

[Bovril]

I think the others are right, stop beating yourself up, give yourself some time and space, after losing your dog so sudenly it's no wonder you feel down, it's a horrible thing to go through, cut yourself some slack and do the things you enjoy for a while, your boy might like a little time off, it can't hurt him as it sounds like he has done a lot since being broken, it may do him the world of good and then when your motivation comes back, which it will, you will both be raring to go and have fun.

 

[NeverSayNever]

thanks guys..... i wouldnt say i enjoy competing the dogs more previously, it was always pretty equal. Now I feel as if i just want to be with my dogs though and i dont even have much motivation to go out for a lazy hack

 

[Lurky McLurker]

I've had phases like this too - last winter I really couldn't be bothered to ride some days, and I felt horrible about it because I'd only had my horse for a few months and he's my first ever horse, so I felt that I should be really excited about riding him but I wasn't. I think it was because he needed a lot of very basic schooling (was very on the forehand, lazy etc), neither of us is very good at jumping and we couldn't hack out because no-one would go with us and he wouldn't hack on his own, so all I ever got to do with him was very boring schooling. Also the bad weather didn't help.

After reading some really helpful stuff on here, I realised that I should take the pressure off myself and just enjoy being with my new horse rather than worrying that I wasn't "improving" him quickly enough. So I would often just go up and groom him, or take him for a walk down the road in-hand, and I had a lovely time just getting to know him and forming a really strong bond. Once the weather improved a bit and our bond strengthened, I got excited about riding him again and by the spring we were entering our first shows, progressing with our jumping and we found a hacking buddy... now we can have so much more fun!

I'd advise just taking the pressure off and enjoying your horse. After all, it's meant to be a fun hobby and we don't pour this much hard work and cash into it just to force ourselves to do something we don't want to do - if you just want to groom him and cuddle him, there's nothing wrong with that at all. And I bet that when we get some sunny days again, you will be itching to get back on - no-one likes riding in the miserable wind and rain!

 

[MissTyc]

Whenever I feel unmotivated, I "turn my horses away" ... really, I'm turning myself away ... I spend time with them as usual, feed, groom, maybe some groundwork ... but I make a commitment to myself to not use their brains or my brain until I actually feel like it. Normally lasts a few weeks and we all feel a lot better for it! It's a hobby, not a chore!