Feeling nerves viewing yards ?

[Mary3050]

Hi guys ,
Just wanted to see if it’s normal to feel nervous viewing yards. I have made the decision I must find a new yard . There a number of reason that make complete sense to on why I must move . But I still can’t help feel anxious about the whole situation.

I haven’t told anyone I am looking to move as it’s not going to go down well with YO . But some of the issues include YO being only allowed instructor and her destroying my confidence, then feeding a EMS pony a high sugar feed so he “performances better “ then when I asked her to stop. She refused and told me I don’t know what I am talking about had to get the vet to sort it . Constantly saying that my equine professionals saddler, physio , Farriar are shit , constant bitching , not working the horse when she supposed to needs to be done for his EMs and refusing to give his meds meaning I am going twice a day to do this .

Despite knowing I have to go I feel so so anxious looking at yard and I keep thinking am jumping from bad to potentially worse. Is it normal to feel like this ?

 

[Equi]

Fear of the unknown is always going to cause anxiety. But it needs done so just keep telling yourself this. Have you any friends at yards they could recommend?

 

[Mary3050]

Fear of the unknown is always going to cause anxiety. But it needs done so just keep telling yourself this. Have you any friends at yards they could recommend?

I know thanks just need to keep going and get it done . Most of my friend are on DIY or have there own land .

 

[Batgirl]

Definitely! I moved for YO issues and I kept telling like I was about to be caught out and what giving notice would be etc etc.

Unknown is scary. Perfectly normal but the end result will be worth it.

I enjoy my horse more and feel like a weight has been lifted.

 

[Tracking_up]

Don't forget that this YO is essentially bullying you, and that will cause all sorts of anxiety. But you know you are doing this for the benefit of your horse, so stay strong.

 

[Flicker]

I always try to imagine what the absolute worst outcome would be and work out how I would handle it. Then I feel set up for any potential outcome.
So, in your case, what are you most anxious about?

 

[Trouper]

I'd compartmentalise the process to be able to deal with it in manageable chunks.
First find your yard!! Just keep the old yard in your mind when you visit and look for all those things that you don't want to be repeated. Checking that you can have your own farrier, instructor etc should be easy. A very frank discussion with a new YO about your horse's needs should soon show how receptive they are to meeting individual needs.
Only when I had found a better place and had a date arranged, would I say anything to current YO. After that, I am afraid that you just have to grit your teeth and get thro' the notice period.
Good luck!!

 

[Lady Jane]

@Tracking_up and @Trouper have both given you really good advice. I'm not sure you can view yards at the moment but it would be a good idea to take a friend. Maybe Boris will relax lockdown enough on outside activities soon to make this easier. Good luck

 

[Mary3050]

@Tracking_up and @Trouper have both given you really good advice. I'm not sure you can view yards at the moment but it would be a good idea to take a friend. Maybe Boris will relax lockdown enough on outside activities soon to make this easier. Good luck

Yes you can I believe we have been to view a few in the last few day just Social distancing and wear a mask . Thanks I take my mum too

 

[Shysmum]

You are being bullied ! Happened to me on a few yards. Good luck finding a new yard, it will be fine x

 

[Roasted Chestnuts]

It’s always nervous going to a new place, even when it’s just looking. Always feels like you might jump from the frying pan into the fire but it’s always a leap of faith moving yards. Good luck

 

[Honey08]

It doesn’t sound like you could end up in a much worse situation than you are now! I think this is the perfect time of year to view a yard - to see how they deal with winter turnout and mud etc. Make sure you ask about all the things that have been an issue at your current yard.

And beware that your yard owner might be funny when you say you’re leaving, so perhaps take everything non essential home beforehand to make leaving easier!

 

[Green Bean]

You need to get out of this situation, even if it is temporary while you find the yard that is completely right for you. This YO is dangerous and should be reported on dodgy yards (is there such a site, should there be?)

 

[Pinkvboots]

I hope you find somewhere I can't imagine anywhere else is going to be as bad as your current situation, in your position I wouldn't give notice I would turn up with transport and move the day you tell the yo.

I don't know if it's just me but but during this lockdown some people seem to have become incredibly nasty and controlling, and I don't mean just in the horse world but generally it's all I seem to hear at the moment

 

[Wishfilly]

I think it's totally understandable to feel nervous! But it does sound like it would be hard to find a worse situation!

Could you manage on DIY with services? I'm on a DIY yard but there are people on the yard who offer services/holiday cover, so I wouldn't rule them out without asking!

 

[Nasicus]

I'll just put this out there, as a lot of people don't realize this:
When you give notice, you don't have to stay for that notice period.
You do have to pay for the notice period as if you were there.

This is handy to remember if you fear giving notice will lead to consequences or reprisal, either to you or to your horse.
It does mean that, for example if you have to give a months notice, you will be paying livery twice for that month (Once to the yard you moved to, and once to the yard you've given notice on), but in some situations, it's worth it just to be able to leave asap without the worry of retaliation or the stress of a nasty environment. As long as they are all paid up and you don't owe them anything, they cannot keep you there for the notice period.

 

[Honey08]

I agree Nascus. For the minimal amount people pay for DIY I think it’s sometimes better to just cut your losses and go.

 

[Mary3050]

Thanks everyone I am feeling a little better had a viewing yesterday, one today and one tomorrow. I find it annoying how some don’t give you price before viewing . It also feels like livery options near me have reduced and prices have gone up . Thanks for all your advice as I have met a great YO today who restored my faith that there are still some good people in the equestrian world locally ?

 

[Cinnamontoast]

Sounds like you have to move, your yo sounds horrible. I think unless you have your own yard and staff, then there are potentially always going to be niggles. However, I’d be happy to be full livery cos my fellow liveries would be checking, but that’s due to being there years.

This is near me. If I were bonkers rich, I might livery here.
http://netherwyldeequestrian.com/

 

[Apizz2019]

Ye

Hi guys ,
Just wanted to see if it’s normal to feel nervous viewing yards. I have made the decision I must find a new yard . There a number of reason that make complete sense to on why I must move . But I still can’t help feel anxious about the whole situation.

I haven’t told anyone I am looking to move as it’s not going to go down well with YO . But some of the issues include YO being only allowed instructor and her destroying my confidence, then feeding a EMS pony a high sugar feed so he “performances better “ then when I asked her to stop. She refused and told me I don’t know what I am talking about had to get the vet to sort it . Constantly saying that my equine professionals saddler, physio , Farriar are shit , constant bitching , not working the horse when she supposed to needs to be done for his EMs and refusing to give his meds meaning I am going twice a day to do this .

Despite knowing I have to go I feel so so anxious looking at yard and I keep thinking am jumping from bad to potentially worse. Is it normal to feel like this ?

It's perfectly natural to feel anxious and worried about moving yards, what people will think and so on. I moved due to distance only and that was hard enough.

But you're absolutely doing the right thing for your pony and you.

Stay strong. I bet you'll look back at this in a few months time and ask yourself what you were worried about.

I hope you find a great new home and I wish you every luck with you move.

 

[Pinkvboots]

Sounds like you have to move, your yo sounds horrible. I think unless you have your own yard and staff, then there are potentially always going to be niggles. However, I’d be happy to be full livery cos my fellow liveries would be checking, but that’s due to being there years.

This is near me. If I were bonkers rich, I might livery here.
http://netherwyldeequestrian.com/

It certainly looks very nice lol!

 

[Chianti]

Hi guys ,
Just wanted to see if it’s normal to feel nervous viewing yards. I have made the decision I must find a new yard . There a number of reason that make complete sense to on why I must move . But I still can’t help feel anxious about the whole situation.

I haven’t told anyone I am looking to move as it’s not going to go down well with YO . But some of the issues include YO being only allowed instructor and her destroying my confidence, then feeding a EMS pony a high sugar feed so he “performances better “ then when I asked her to stop. She refused and told me I don’t know what I am talking about had to get the vet to sort it . Constantly saying that my equine professionals saddler, physio , Farriar are shit , constant bitching , not working the horse when she supposed to needs to be done for his EMs and refusing to give his meds meaning I am going twice a day to do this .

Despite knowing I have to go I feel so so anxious looking at yard and I keep thinking am jumping from bad to potentially worse. Is it normal to feel like this ?

If you find somewhere you like then get in writing what the YO has agreed to. Email with a 'I just want to check that you're happy with.....' If s/he's been less than honest then it probably won't help as they won't care but it does give you some grounds for discussion if there are problems in the future. Sorry to sound negative but I've gone to a few yards that promised all my horse's needs could be met only to find the YO suddenly had a very bad memory loss once we'd arrived.

 

[Toby_Zaphod]

Just go & view the new yards & see what the facilities are & if the set up is what you want. Talk normally to the YO, they want the livery as much as you do. You should be able to get a feel of how the YO is and if you feel you could get on with them. Ask plenty of questions, specially as you have issues with your current YO. There's no point leaving present yard to have the same issues at a new one. Good Luck.

 

[humblepie]

If you haven’t done so I’d suggest a list of questions - don’t necessarily get the list out when at yard but be clear in your mind what you want to know particularly the most important ones. good luck. Hope you find somewhere nice.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I would certainly think that, in your case, it is worth paying your notice and leaving the yard immediately, you need a yard that can cater for your horse's needs, regardless of the fact that current YO sounds bonkers.

 

[Griffin]

I hope you find somewhere I can't imagine anywhere else is going to be as bad as your current situation, in your position I wouldn't give notice I would turn up with transport and move the day you tell the yo.

I don't know if it's just me but but during this lockdown some people seem to have become incredibly nasty and controlling, and I don't mean just in the horse world but generally it's all I seem to hear at the moment

It's not just you, I think that this lockdown has really brought out the true colours of some people.

OP, I would find another yard and, as other posters have said, as soon as you can move, pay your notice period and go.

I would try to get it so that when you move, you can get everything out in one go if possible (including horse) e.g. take home any rugs that you're not using now.