Feeling out of my depth

[pookie]

I'm having a rubbish time at work so I'm probably feeling oversensitive anyway, but I'm starting to feel out of my depth with Millie. She'll have been with me two weeks tomorrow so it's still very much early days but now she's settled it's becoming more apparent she's as green as they come and very immature and inexperienced for a 4yo. Add to that I've found out she originally came over from Ireland in a terrible state, so she may (or may not) have issues I've yet to discover.

I bought her as a backed (!) and turned away 4yo to bring on over the summer. I've brought on a couple of youngsters of that sort of age and experience before, so it's not like I'm a complete beginner, but I've never brought on anything younger or a rescue case. I don't want to sell her on if I can avoid it and I'm fine with getting a professional in at some point if necessary...I'm under no illusions I'm the next horse whisperer

I guess this is a pretty pointless thread, just a bit of a pity post.

 

[zaminda]

Peoples definition of backed does seem to vary rather a lot!! Personally I think until they have cantered, and are reasonably safe they are just backed, but other people would say sat on is backed. Good luck, if you feel worried, just get some help, youngsters can always tell.

 

[touchstone]

I think you might be worrying unnecessarily, just because she might have had a bad start it doesn't automatically mean that she will have issues, and the fact that she is more inexperienced than you though could be beneficial, it means you can bring her up exactly as you want to.

Forget what happened to her yesterday and focus on the good things that you can do with her today, it may be that you have to take things a little slower, but I'm sure you'll be fine.

 

[pookie]

Peoples definition of backed does seem to vary rather a lot!! Personally I think until they have cantered, and are reasonably safe they are just backed, but other people would say sat on is backed. Good luck, if you feel worried, just get some help, youngsters can always tell.

Thanks She's been sat on, but nothing else and as a heavyweight I doubt she would've noticed. I knew she'd be green but I'm starting from absolute scratch with her. I'm lucky enough to have wonderful and experienced YOs who help interact with her but I guess my plans of having a riding horse reasonably soon to distract from crap at work has been put back a fair bit.

 

[Suziq77]

Do you have company at your yard and people to hack with / do fun things with Millie?

It can be pretty overwhelming thinking about the long road ahead with a very green youngster, you are certainly not the first and you won't be the last person to feel like this I promise.

If you have people to ride with and can manage to relax and just enjoy your pony without worrying too much then you are likely to have a smoother time of it all. Don't beat yourself up, don't blame yourself if everything doesn't go perfectly sometimes - she's 4 and you're both new to each other. You sound sensible, with reasonable sounding expectations, and that's over half the battle won

Hopefully the sun will shine a bit more than it has been doing and you will start to chill out a bit - work to live, don't live to work (my motto since leaving a very high pressured job).

Sometimes I wonder if there is ever a 'good time' to get a new youngster - in the autumn/winter you have the bad weather / grey / wet /windy blues which seem to get in the way of properly bonding - but in the summer there is pressure to do as much as you can which can be quite daunting when you have a new horse to get to know.

Book yourself a couple of lessons and make some hacking dates, take a deep breath, sing a little song and have some emergency chocolate on hand, you can do it

 

[Jazzy B]

agree.... people's definition of backed does seem to go from one extreme to another.... I ended up with a youngster last year who I was told had done more than he clearly had, I was completely out of my depth and he frightened the life out of me (and I'm not un-experienced). If you feel out of your depth, please, please get help before you end up like I did as she sounds a really nice girl! and not a pointless thread - hugs!

 

[pookie]

I think you might be worrying unnecessarily, just because she might have had a bad start it doesn't automatically mean that she will have issues, and the fact that she is more inexperienced than you though could be beneficial, it means you can bring her up exactly as you want to.

Forget what happened to her yesterday and focus on the good things that you can do with her today, it may be that you have to take things a little slower, but I'm sure you'll be fine.

You're right. I'll put in as much effort with her as it takes but I guess it's just a bit of a surprise she's so very immature. It doesn't help she's like a two year old in a four year old's body.

 

[Ibblebibble]

look at it as a good thing, because she is so green you won't have other peoples mistakes to try to correct Look forward to a summer (?) of working with her rather than feeling you have lost a summer of riding

 

[pookie]

Thanks everyone

To answer a few questions...

The yard is very quiet but once Millie's up and going I'm sure there'll be people willing to go hacking with me. I'm just working on very basic things like leading, putting a headcollar on and off, seeing how she reacts to objects, getting her to lift her feet etc.

I'm not frightened of her (yet?) but given her size and lack of experience I don't do much with her on my own. She has no sign of maliciousness and the only stuff that could be deemed stroppy has been very babyish. Of course she could become a total nightmare but so far it just seems to be naïveté and lack of experience. She has no manners or awareness of her own size but it's not barging with attitude...it's as if she's had little interaction with other horses and hasn't been taught not to just walk through someone on her way to graze elsewhere. Cluelessness rather than attitude.

 

[zaminda]

Sometimes it really is a pain not to have something to ride, which can really get you down. Is there anything else you can ride? It helped me when I had a youngster that I had something else to ride.

 

[pookie]

Sometimes it really is a pain not to have something to ride, which can really get you down. Is there anything else you can ride? It helped me when I had a youngster that I had something else to ride.

I've looked into this (plenty of boring threads from me bemoaning the lack of something to ride ) - I don't have access to another horse, we've got a few expensive things to buy before I can justify buying and liverying a second one alongside Millie, and I've been reluctant to offer myself as a sharer as I couldn't commit to a regular schedule without 'neglecting' Millie or my family. If I eventually get a second horse I'd definitely look for a sharer for it so it'd get enough exercise.

What I need is a lottery win